****
Charlie started to wake up, and she could hear them talking quietly over by Luke’s bunk, but she couldn’t really hear what they were saying, still half asleep as she was. But she did hear Fo call Luke a jerk and say something about letting her make her own decisions. She had no idea what they were talking about, but she knew Fo sounded disgusted and Luke sounded tired.
Just as she was going to roll over and get up, she heard Luke’s comment about how she had chosen law school and would make a great lawyer as he strode out the door. He sounded utterly disgusted with her choice, even if he was giving her a compliment, and her heart fell while she tried to figure out what they had been saying.
It must have been that Luke thought she shouldn’t go back to law school because the prophet recommended LDS woman put home and family first. Law school involved a lot of years of effort if what she really wanted was to walk away from a career and raise a family.
She laid there sad and wondering what she truly did want. Oh, she knew what she wanted, but if she couldn’t have Luken Langston, what then? Was she seriously willing to go back and take on a commitment like becoming an attorney simply to keep from being hassled by her parents? And if not, then what? She was now educated and a returned missionary, but she was glaringly single. That had never bothered her, but now, after falling in love with Luke, she almost felt as if she needed to consciously work to fall for someone else to protect herself and move on.
She rolled over and sighed and sat up. She needed to get home to her little cabin where she could read her scriptures and pray for the insight she so desperately needed.
When she put her feet on the floor, she realized she’d gotten a sliver running here in the dark last night and she put her foot back up to look at it, but the light was too dim to see it clearly. She stood up and stepped on her tip toes to protect the sore spot as she folded her blanket and then picked up her pillow. She gave the bunkhouse one last look around, wondering where Fo had gone. She’d heard Luke leave, but she hadn’t heard Fo go out at all.
As she took a step and the floor creaked, he poked his head out of the bathroom with shaving cream covering half of his face. “Hey, you. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company last night? What time did you show up here?”
She set down her bedding and walked over to him. “I don’t even know what time it was. I’m sorry I bothered you guys, but for some reason my house was terrifying last night.”
She was glad he looked honestly concerned and didn’t tease her. “What do you mean? What was terrifying?”
“I don’t know. I’d been having these weird dreams and then I had nightmares about Tyree again. Then when I woke up for some reason in the middle of the night, the door to my house was standing wide open and that dog was lying just inside the door. I shut the door and locked it, but I was still so scared there. I couldn’t seem to get a handle on it and finally, when even praying seemed to make the urgency worse I bailed and came up here. I probably shouldn’t have. It looks terrible, but I was a mess.”
He shook his head. “It’s okay, Charlie. If you felt you should come then you should have. Don’t blow off the spirit if that’s what it was. What do you think happened with your door? Do you think you just didn’t shut it tight?”
It would be so easy to say that and they wouldn’t think she was a nut, but she knew she hadn’t simply not shut it tightly. “No, Fo. I didn’t lock it because it was only mid afternoon when I laid down, but I’m sure I shut it tightly. It would have come open when I was puttering around there before lying down if I hadn’t.” She paused and then looked at him again and said, “What’s weird is, why would someone open it in the middle of the night? It had to have been late, late. There were no lights on anywhere on the ranch except the security lights. Even the dairy barn was dark and quiet. Why would someone do that?”
“I don’t know, Charlie. Maybe someone was trying to tease you. You know, like getting toilet papered or door belled ditched. You don’t have a door bell.” She looked at him and he said, “Okay, that was stupid, but I honestly don’t know why someone would do that.”
Hesitantly, she voiced a question she hated to even consider. “Is Tyree still locked up? Or has he been let out on bail?”
She knew when he didn’t immediately toss the idea that it was a possibility. “I’m not sure. Let me finish shaving and I’ll call the sheriff’s office and find out.” He glanced at his watch. “Actually, I’m going to be late. I’ll call on the way to the hospital and call you back and let you know what I found out. Will that work?”
“Sure, that’ll work. Just please find out he’s still in jail. Okay?” She said it jokingly, but in a way she was serious. She so didn’t want to let something like this ruin the sweet peace she had found here in this land of the big sky. She picked her bedding back up and headed for the door. “Have a great day at work. And tell what’s her name hi. See ya.”
She stepped out the door just in time to see Luke fold his superb physique into his pick up truck. She hesitated on the step, assuming he’d say hello to her, but all he did was pause for a second and then back out and pull away. She almost felt as if she’d been slapped.
So much for their easy friendship. She’d begun to believe he cared for her other than simply as one of the guys, but apparently not. Apparently really not. That silent invisible door had been slammed shut. He didn’t even want to know why she’d showed up in the middle of the night.
She couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes and she felt like a fool as she walked back to her house unable to stop them. What was going on here? For months things had been so new and fun and she’d had the time of her life here with Fo and Luke. What had all of the sudden happened to them? She was incredibly lost and the fact that she had fallen into full blown love while he had suddenly become allergic to her killed her heart, not to mention her ego.
That he was usually so kind and caring made this complete disregard and cold shoulder come straight out of the blue. She had no idea how to come to terms with it.
She made it to her porch and although she was once again afraid to go inside, she pushed the door open and walked in anyway. What did it even matter?
Showering and scripture study helped. It was a few minutes that she could be still and try to listen to God and she asked Him why and then said, “Never mind why, please just help me be strong enough to make it through whatever You have in mind for me.” She didn’t understand, but she’d never been one to wallow in defeat, and she wasn’t going to start now.
As she dressed to go up to the house and pitch in, she mentally pep talked herself that she was, indeed, strong enough to do this and that, in time, she’d figure out what she needed to be doing with her life. Looking in the mirror, she knew she still looked tired, and her eyes were puffy from all the crying the last day or two, but she couldn’t help it. She put on the shirt she felt the prettiest in, hoping it would help her make it through at least breakfast without melting like the wicked witch of the west.
She put her quilt back on her bed and made it and went to put on a pair of earrings and noticed one of her favorite iridescent blue turtle earrings was missing. She searched all around and even turned the entire jewelry box upside down and dumped it out, but it wasn’t there. The hair on the back of her neck stood up when she finally had to face the fact it was gone.
She had been wearing those earrings yesterday and she absolutely knew she’d taken them both off and put them on top of the box when she came home and went to bed. She knew she’d seen them sitting there as she brushed her teeth the last thing before she lay down. She hadn’t misplaced one. Someone had taken it. It was a simply stated fact, but one that left her shaken and afraid. Someone had been in here last night with her. Who would do that and why? Those questions only deepened the fear.
Going to the door, she turned before walking out to look back and glance around the quaint little cabin. She had found such peace here. She closed her eyes and prayed. Plea
se God, don’t let me lose that precious, tenuous peace.
As she walked up to the ranch house, she phoned Fo and when he picked up, she didn’t small talk. Just asked, “Hey, Fo, what did you find out about Tyree? You didn’t call me back.”
He paused and her stomach tightened. Somehow she had known it, but he confirmed it. “Actually, he’s out on bail. He got out only a day after they took him in, but they don’t think he’d ever risk doing something like coming back there.”
She thought about that and then asked, “Do you really believe that?”
The best friend who never kept things from her hesitated and then quietly answered, “Of course not. Do you?”
“No. He was in my house last night. One of the earrings I put on top of my jewelry box yesterday was gone this morning. I know exactly where I put it, and the other one is still there, but one’s gone.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You need to tell Luke.”
She couldn’t help sounding bitter when she admitted, “I can’t tell Luke. We’re not speaking. I’ll go in and get a restraining order if the police will give me one. And I’ll get a gun and I’ll be fine. I’ll be more careful about locking the door though.”
“Why are you not speaking?”
It took her a second to answer. “I honestly don’t know. Something happened in Connecticut to make him dislike me. I’ve thought and thought about it, but I don’t know what I did. Maybe it was my parents. Or Elroy. Maybe he’s just sick of me and can’t wait for me to leave. I don’t know. But don’t tell him about the earring. I’ll handle it.”
This time he was the one who hesitated. “Okay, Charlie, but he runs this place. He truly ought to know what’s going on. Don’t you think?”
“I don’t think this has anything to do with the ranch. I’ve gotta go. Thanks for digging for me. Have a good day.”
When she walked into the kitchen, first Madge asked her if she was okay and then when he and Luke came in, Richard asked her as well, “Charlie, are you okay? Are you sick?”
She brushed off his concern. “I’m fine. Some jet lag is all. How are you feeling? Back on Montana time yet?”
Richard took the platter of bacon and eggs she was carrying. “Give me one more day and I’ll be good as new.”
They all visited through breakfast and she felt as if she’d done okay as she cleared the table afterward. Hopefully, no one had even noticed that her heart was smashed and her peace of mind had been brutally ripped away this morning.
She rolled her neck as she waited for the water at the kitchen sink to run hot before she rinsed the plates. She could do this. The only one who seemed to have a problem with her was Luke. Everyone else still acted like she was welcome. All she had to do was find a way to push the thoughts of Luke out of her head and finish out the summer. She could do this. She was fine.
The children helped as they were around her that day, and when Richard asked after her again that afternoon it helped as well. She simply had to remember to count her blessings and not be too hopeful about the future right this minute. All she needed was some time. Once she’d adjusted her mindset, she’d be just dandy.
That night, she went straight to her cabin after dinner and was surprised to find the same dog Pilgrim lying on her front porch. After locking the door securely, she checked to make sure all the windows were locked and then slipped out of her clothes and showered. It had really helped this morning. Maybe the soothing hot water would help her state of mind again tonight.
As she got out, she pulled out a new book she’d been meaning to read. With all the fuss of the trip and what not, she’d never even opened it, but surely a good read would help her shake her nerves and sadness tonight.
She took the book into her bedroom and pulled not only the blind, but the drapes as well and settled in to read. It was a good book, but she was still so tired and put it aside before it was even nine o’clock. She turned out the lights and prayed and turned onto her stomach and pulled her pillow into her arms, grateful that last night’s fear hadn’t reappeared.
The next afternoon, she truly did go into town and arrange to have a restraining order placed on Tyree. She had to file a police report about someone being in her house two nights before, but thankfully, the officer who helped her didn't push too hard before agreeing to process the order.
On the way home, she stopped at a sporting goods store and bought a small handgun. The paperwork for this actually took longer than the police paperwork and she thought about what she was doing as she waited. She'd never in her life considered buying a firearm, even though she'd actually been taken to a shooting range once on a date. Six months ago, she'd have never dreamed of owning a gun, but after the fear she felt over Tyree, she hoped it would make her feel more secure.
The salesman who helped her make her selection asked her if she was familiar with how it worked and when she admitted she would need some practice, he didn't hesitate to offer to help her learn. Even though the last thing she wanted right now was another guy's attention, she accepted. He seemed nice enough and she truly did need the help learning to use her new purchase. She arranged to go to a shooting range with him that Friday evening and then took the heavy little black pistol and drove back to the ranch. As barbaric as it seemed, knowing she had a weapon there in her house with her did help. She was able to lock her doors that night and feel as secure as she had before that ugly night with Tyree had ever happened. Even though she had no intention of ever shooting anything, it was very reassuring.
****
She hadn't mentioned she was going to be going anywhere on Friday and when her friendly shooting instructor showed up to pick her up, Fo looked surprised and for some reason, Luke almost looked mad as they drove past the bunkhouse on the way out. The gun range was interesting, and other than her date thinking he had to put his arms around her to show her how to hold it properly, the evening felt like a success. She knew how to load and unload the gun and how to shoot it properly and felt she could handle it if she ever needed to. She also knew the friendly gun salesman did absolutely nothing for her romantically and she smiled noncommittally when he said he'd call as he dropped her back at the ranch.
Fo showing up at her house as soon as he got back from his date, didn't surprise her a bit. She'd known he'd be up to investigate when she drove past him on the way out. He dropped into his porch rocker and offered her a half package of Oreo's. "You got any milk? Luke and I are out at the bunkhouse."
"Of course I have milk. What are you thinking?" She got up to go inside to get the milk and cups. "Is he coming this way too? How many cups do I need?"
"He's long gone to bed. It's just me."
When she came out and handed him the milk, he asked, “So, who was the guy?"
After explaining about the gun, she went in and got it to bring it out and show him. He only looked at it for a minute before he locked it back in its case and then looked back at her and shook his head. "I never thought I'd see the day Charlie Evans was packing heat."
"Oh, give me a break. I'm not exactly packing it. It's like a really expensive dose of Ambien. I'm hoping I'll be able to rest easier with it and so far it's worked."
"Whatever works. Just be careful. So apparently you weren't overly excited by the company tonight?"
She sighed. "Not to speak of. Has Luke ever said why all the sudden he's allergic to me?"
"Yes." She looked over at him. "But, I can't tell you what he said."
"What? You're kidding. You'd never hold out on me. C’mon Fo. It's me, Charlie."
"I know it's you, Charlie, but this truly would be betraying a confidence this time. You'll have to ask him yourself."
"Do you think he'll tell me?"
"No."
She was silent for a minute while they rocked and then she said, "I don't think so either." After another time, she admitted to him, "I almost wish I hadn't come here, now."
"I thought you were loving it. U
ntil Tyree at least."
“I was. Even after Tyree. But knowing Luke wishes I was gone is awful. I tried so hard to be immune to him, Fo, but it was hopeless. He's just too darn adorable. Now it makes me heartsick."
Fo hesitated and then said, "I don't think wishes you were gone is exactly how I'd describe what's going on here."
She sighed. "It's been a week, Fo. He only has anything to do with me when he accidentally forgets to ignore me."
"Don't you think it's just that he's been busy after taking a few days off?"
Charlie glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. "Nice try, Fo. Can you at least tell me what I did that was so bad?"
He hesitated again and then said, "I'm sorry, Charlie, but you seriously are going to have to have this conversation with him."
"I thought I ranked over anyone on the planet with you. What's up with this? And I already asked him. He wouldn't tell me."
"It's not that you don't rank, Chuck. If this was someone else. Just another guy, I'd tell you in a heart beat. But this seems too… Too… I don't know. For real or something, to take a chance on messing up for the two of you. If someone is going to mess it up, it's not going to be me. There's too much at risk."
Sadly, Charlie said, "Actually, apparently there's nothing at risk. I'm going to focus on helping out as much as possible for the next three weeks until I leave without getting in his way. He went from absolutely friendly to absolutely cold in like three seconds the other day on the beach. I don't have a clue what I did." She paused and then said, "Never mind. How was your date? I've never seen you like this over a girl."
He watched her for a moment, and then grinned. "It's almost a bit scary isn't it? I don't know, Charlie. I'm thinking forever with Amy is not nearly long enough."
"And what is Amy thinking?"
"That's what scares me. She thinks I'm wonderful. I keep worrying she's going to find out what I'm really like and run."
She leaned across and nudged him. "You're one of those that gets better the closer you look. You know that. Do you actually think this is her?"
The Outer Edge of Heaven Page 16