Nerd Girl

by Jemma Bell

  “Amy, is that you honey?” Barb calls out from the back room.

  “No, Barb, it’s the boogie man,” I answer her jokingly. Barb is great. She’s exactly what I want to be when I grow up. A successful business owner doing something she loves. She’s clanging things around in the back, getting the coffee bar ready for our morning rush. After I stash my purse under the front counter, I help out by getting the cash till set up for the day and booting up our computers.

  “Don’t give me that lip, missy,” peeking around the wall, Barb scolds with a shake of her finger at me. We both burst out laughing at this ridiculous reprimand. Barb loves my sarcasm, dry though it may be at times, but we have a blast and a terrific working relationship. The ringing of the phone interrupts us and I reach over to answer it.

  “Good Morning, this is Amy at the Book Mark. How may I help you?” I greet.

  “Jenks, it’s me. I’m stopping by in a few to give you something. I want to introduce you to Ben Wa today; it might help to loosen you up.” Layla says quickly, her words are rapid like a machine gun.

  “I’ll be here, see you in a few.” I return and hang up the phone. The flow of people in and out of the store is steady this morning. Barb and I keep up with the orders for coffee and we sell a few copies of a new best seller. Just as we get a chance to breathe, Layla comes bustling in the door. She has a blue streak in her spike today to match her blue Docs. She clomps up to the counter where Barb and I are catching a quiet minute.

  “Hello, Layla, are we on a combat mission today?” Barb asks indicating the boots and army green cargo pants Layla’s wearing. Barb and Layla have a strange relationship. Barb wishes Layla would dress more girly and not be such an abrasive person. She's been trying to soften Layla for years. Never going to happen. I’ve often wondered what the issue between these two is. Barb strikes me as having been a rebel of sorts in her youth. Perhaps she sees a lot of herself in Layla. Whatever the reason is neither of them is talking.

  “Yeah, Barb, a mission to loosen Jenks up and get her laid,” Layla answers sounding annoyed.

  “Layla King, there is nothing wrong with Amy,” Barb says as she starts to chew Layla out. “Furthermore, she is a good girl that deserves a decent man, not one of these boys who like to spread themselves around like some other people I’m acquainted with.” Barb finishes with a raised eyebrow and a hand on her hip. It’s never a good thing to throw Layla’s sex life up in her face. Though promiscuous she’s not, she’s not a nun either. Layla refers to it as tasting the flavors to see which one is her favorite.

  “I guess that attitude is why you have cobwebs growing on your ancient vajayjay then, huh, Barb?” These two just love to have a go at each other.

  “So, Layla, my good old buddy, old pal, what did you want to give me?” I interrupt the two of them. Lines were about to be drawn in the sand and this is not the time or place for that kind of explosion. Eyeing each other up, Layla finally gives me her attention and Barb heads to the back mumbling something about needing more sugar packets. Gah!! Will these two ever get along?

  “Here, Jenks, I picked these up for you,” She says clunking down a small red satin bag on the counter and sliding it to me. “I want you to use these; they help to strengthen muscles, relieve stress, and just make you feel good. I’m introducing you to Ben Wa today,” Layla says with a wiggle of her eyebrows and a sly smile. “Use them and I’ll call you later,” she announces and blows back out through the door.

  I pick up the small bag and pour out the contents. Two shiny, medium sized balls fall out into my hand. I’m a little confused at first and then it dawns on me. These must be those stress balls people use. I start to rotate the pair of balls in my hand and realize that Layla is right; these are great stress relievers. All my focus is on turning the balls round and round in my hand and not thinking about my problems. I can also feel the muscles in my hand being worked as I grip the balls. “What a thoughtful gift,” I say to myself as I drop the balls back into the bag and put them away in my purse.

  It’s pretty much a usual day at the Book Mark: making coffees, giving book recommendations, stocking shelves, and ringing people up. All too soon, 5:00 rolls around and it’s time for me to leave.

  “Take it easy, Barb, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say as I kiss her cheek and collect my things to leave.

  “Night honey, see you tomorrow,” Barb answers with a big smile and a return kiss to my cheek.

  Leaving the bookstore, I walk down the block to my car, climb in and turn up the tunes for my ride back home. Fifteen minutes later I pull into GG and Pops driveway. GG’s car is there. Shit! I think to myself. I forgot to call and say whether I was going to be home for dinner. I’m pretty sure Layla said she wanted to introduce me to a new Japanese restaurant. I grab my purse as I get out of the car. As soon as I walk in the front door, I’m greeted by the president of my fan club, Clyde. Heavy paws land on my chest and that tongue gives me a face bath.

  “Yes, I’m happy to see you too, boy.” I soothe the over excited critter. I gently push him off me, scratch him behind the ears and ask him, “Have you been a good boy today? Want a cookie?” Of course, cookie is the magic word to send him running into the kitchen for a treat. The house smells great, the chicken baking in the oven is making my mouth water. Following Clyde into the kitchen I see GG in front of the oven basting the chicken and Pops sitting at the table reading today's paper. My grandparents are two of the most important people in my life. They raised me after my mother died of complications during my birth. My sperm donor had decided shortly after finding out she was pregnant, that he wasn’t ready to be a dad and left town. Once he was notified of her death, he signed away all his rights as a parent to me and my grandparents effectively adopted me. My mother’s name was Amelia, so GG and Pops called me Amy to keep her memory alive and to make me feel closer to her.

  “Well, hello dollface, how was work today?” GG asks as she straitens up and closes the oven door. She’s still a lovely woman, even at 63 years old. Her once brown hair is now laced with silver streaks and the laugh lines around her mouth are more pronounced, indicating that she is a very happy person. Always smiling.

  “It was a typical day, nothing too exciting,” I reply. “Layla stopped by briefly and I think we are doing Japanese for dinner. Sorry I didn’t call.” I kiss GG on her cheek and move to get Clyde one of his treats. He’s waiting so nicely in front of the cabinet with that happy tail wagging. I quickly give him his Milk Bone.

  “Oh, that was nice of her to stop by. How is Layla?” She inquires.

  “She’s good, just kind of breezed in and breezed back out.” I respond. “I’ve got a couple hours of studying to do, so I’m going to lock down. I’ll see you later.” I grab an apple from the blue bowl on the counter and give Pops a smooch.

  “Thanks, honey,” he mumbles without looking up from his newspaper.

  I close myself off for the next two hours attending my online courses and studying with my group for an upcoming test. I’ve also been spinning my little stress balls in my hand as I work. Just as I’m about to finish up, I hear my phone ring with Layla’s signature ringtone. A “Pink” song, of course.

  “S’up girl?” I say as a greeting. “I’m starving! When are you coming to get me so we can try out this new restaurant?”

  “What are you talking about? I’ve got a date with Troy tonight.” Layla’s obviously double booked herself this evening. I want to try out this restaurant. I hear they have great sushi and hibachi. There’s no way she’s ditching me tonight. She’s the one who mentioned it.

  “Dude, you’re the one who mentioned introducing me to Ben Wa today. Now I’m hungry so when are you coming to get me?” I probe.

  “Jenks, are you smoking crack? I’ve already introduced you to Ben Wa today. That bag with the metal balls I gave you earlier.”

  “Yeah, they’re great I’ve been using them as stress relievers all day. I thought they were supposed to be bigger though.” I state. “
The constant movement in my hand is working the muscles and keeping my mind off stuff.”

  “Jenks, you’ve lost me here, why are you rotating them in your hand? You’re supposed to insert them.” Ok, now I’m confused.

  “Insert them where, Layla?” I’m scared. This conversation is going to embarrass me, I just know it. I’m talking about food and she’s talking about inserting balls.

  “Jenks, I gave you a set of Ben Wa balls, you insert them into your vajayjay. They’re designed to stimulate you and exercise your kegel muscles.” It’s now dawning on me that we are talking about two completely different things.

  “I thought Ben Wa was a Japanese sushi and hibachi restaurant?”

  “That’s Benihana, you dumb ass!” She insults me and is now cracking up laughing. “Big difference here, kiddo.” I’m now seeing my “stress balls” totally differently. “OH MY GOD, Jenks, you are so totally clueless! Go Google Ben Wa balls and give them a try. You’ll be glad you did,” she coaches. “I’ll talk to you later, Troy just pulled up. I’m discovering I have my work cut out for me. We need something more drastic than Ben Wa balls.”

  “Have fun, say hi to Troy for me,” I tell her and hang up. Could I really be that clueless? I guess I am. If she gave me Ben Wa balls to try out first, I would worry about what drastic means. I’m still hungry and it looks like I’m getting no hibachi tonight.

  “GG, is there any more chicken?” I shout.

  ***Derrick***

  I spent the morning running through a harsh workout session with Riven. Sometimes I wonder if he’s trying to kill me. But then I think if he wanted to do that, he would have done it in the third grade. He’s always been a little bigger than me, a little taller. He puts up with my moody ass and I deal with his raunchy sense of humor. It’s a good balance. My shoulders are aching and my hands are tender from gripping the weights, but I’m gaining more and more muscle with each stint at the gym. After the three-hour torture session, it was time for work.

  I have three personal training sessions booked today and then I’m off. The time passes quickly as I help two middle-aged guys try to tone-up and lose the belly pouch they got going on. The last one is a forty-something sex pot with fake triple D’s and an overly botoxed face. Her obvious flirting does nothing for me and I’m not in the mood to even fake flirting back. Amy occupies my mind. It’s crazy because she seemed to be attracted to me as well, but tried to play it off as irritation. I wonder why that is? I’ve definitely got a thing for this chick. Now how do I run into her again? Where does she live? Would she be willing to go on a date if I asked? So many questions. I decide to reach out to her friend Layla when I get off work.

  The session comes to a close and Mrs. Leonardo is less than happy with me. ‘Sorry lady, fake tits and lousy come-ons just don’t do it for me.’ We part ways as I walk her to the locker room. Since my shift is now over, I shower quickly and put on my street clothes. A pair of gray boxer briefs, a green polo with a tall flipped up collar, some acid washed jeans and my favorite black Vans. I add a little gel to spike up my hair, roll on some deodorant and give myself a spritz of cologne then head up to the front desk so I can punch out for the day.

  “Hey, Derrick, how were your sessions today?” asks Cara. Her name is pronounced Ca-Ra and she’s one of the instructors here at Galaxy and partial owner with her sister. The sister is a silent partner in a different career. Cara does the day-to-day running and managing of the gym and teaches various classes.

  “Pretty good. Mr. Simms and Mr. Gage are making progress and trying to stick to the diet I placed them on. Simms fell off the wagon last week because his daughter was selling Girl Scout cookies and he can’t resist those Thin Mints. He told me he thought they counted as diet food because the box said thin,” I say with a laugh. Cara gives me a crooked grin and an eye roll.

  “What about Mrs. Leonardo? She seemed to walk out of here in a huff.”

  “Mrs. Leonardo was a little disappointed I didn’t flirt back with her during our session or respond to her offer for a quickie,” I explain.

  “Derrick, if she’s too much of a hassle and she makes you uncomfortable, I can always pair her up with one of the other trainers. She is a challenging client so I would understand.” Cara is a great boss and really cares about the success of her business and her employees. She’s very supportive of my extra career as a cover/fitness model and even paid for my face to grace some of the promotional posters here at the gym.

  “I can handle Mrs. Leonardo. It won’t be a problem, Cara, I promise.”

  “How did that author event go this weekend? Did Anita make a killing?” She inquires.

  “Anita had a great time, she always does and yes, she sold cases of copies. I did my thing and showed my ugly mug,” I joke.

  “Yeah, you’re ugly alright. I wish I were half as ugly as you.” Cara is a gorgeous thirty-year-old woman with a toned body, striking blue eyes and chin length black hair in a sleek bob. She makes me laugh.

  “It’s all good, boss lady, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell her as I sign out for the day.

  I walk across the parking lot to my black Challenger, toss my workout bag on the passenger seat and crank up the engine. It feels good to be in the seat, my radio playing a little Seether on the way home. Ten minutes later, I pull into my driveway. I’m alone for the time being, so I decide to post a few inspirational quotes on my Facebook page and send Layla a message.

  Derrick: Good Afternoon, Layla, I’d like to talk to you about your friend, Amy. I’m interested to know a little about her. Is she seeing anyone at the moment? Think she’d agree to a date?

  I start to fold my laundry as I wait for a response. A short time later, I hear my phone ping alerting me to a message. I drop the shirt I’m folding and quickly swipe open the message.

  Layla: Well, well, well, I thought I might hear from you. To answer your question, no, she’s not seeing anyone and hasn’t in a while. I’m not sure if she would agree to a date, but I can set something up, so you run into her and ask her yourself.

  She’s available. I pump my fist in the air, yes! I wonder what Layla has in mind. We chat back and forth for a bit and I start to feel better about my chances. Layla promised to get Amy to a specific place at a specific time so I can “bump” into her again. I might regret saying this, but Layla is awesome.

  Chapter #5

  Nerd Girl Problem #105

  Moving from a basic frog spin to a kiss and then the floor.

  The rest of the week goes by pretty quickly and uneventful; work, study, read, sleep, repeat. Layla has been pretty dodgy the last couple of days. We typically hang out a couple times a week but she’s been conveniently unavailable each time I’ve called her and says she’s working or seeing Troy. I know she likes Troy, but I didn’t think she was that into him. He’s cute in a very dull sort of way. Dark hair with bleached tips, simple brown eyes, average body, ‘not at all like the one I’ve been dreaming about all week.’ He’s a decent guy though; treats her good and can hold down a job. Perhaps they’re getting serious.

  I was able to secure plans with her for tonight, however. She said she wanted to take me someplace new and try out something different. With the tedious week I’ve had I could use some excitement. I have no idea where we are going, I just know she said to be ready for 6:00 pm and dress casual. I choose a pair of navy blue skinny jeans and add a cute light pink sweater. My favorite kitty cat flats complete the look, and I add a touch of lip gloss for shine. There, casual. I can hear the loud rumbling from ‘Dotty’s’ engine idling in the driveway and Clyde howling at the door. Clyde loves Layla. Layla, however, not a dog person! She doesn’t appreciate his type of worship.

  “Ugh, Clyde, get off me. I already took a shower; now I need another because I smell like your spit.” I can hear Layla wrestling with her number one fan already. It makes me smile and serves her right for ditching me all week. “Jenks! Get your mongrel off me before I turn him into kibble.” She yells.

 
“Alright, Clyde, you’ve loved Layla enough, down boy.” I hear Pops shuffle across the floor, the metal tags on Clyde’s collar jingle as Pops pulls him off my friend. With one last loud “Woof” at Layla, Clyde leaves her alone. The sound of his claws clicking on the wood floor tells me he probably joined GG in the kitchen.

  “Well don’t you just look squeaky clean? You really should thank Clyde for a removing about two layers of that spackle you have coating your face.” I joke to her. Layla’s wearing Army green cargo pants with a black sweater and her black Docs. The front spikes in her hair are black today as well.

  “Ha, ha, ha, you’re such a brat!” She snarls at me. “Are you ready? We have someplace to be by 7:00, so get your sweet ass in the truck.”

  “Where are we going, am I dressed ok?” I pry for just a little clue.

  “You’re fine, Jenks, just leave all the details to me, now get in the truck before that crazy critter of yours comes back.” I kiss Pops goodbye and yell a goodnight to GG. I can hear the water running in the kitchen, so she’s probably washing dishes. I’m twenty-three, so I have no curfew. They trust me as long as I check in with a phone call if I’m not going to be home. I can’t forget Clyde, so I yell a farewell to him and make kissy sounds. He replies with a long drawn out howl. Poor baby’s going to miss me tonight.

  We’re heading south down the Garden State Parkway and take the exit toward Red Bank. I was just in Red Bank earlier today for work. It’s a hip town with trendy restaurants and chic boutiques. There’s also a few popular bars and clubs. We stop at none of those places and head out of downtown, toward an industrial area along the water. A lot of these buildings were flooded out during Hurricane Sandy, so the neighborhood is pretty rundown unless it’s under redevelopment.

  Layla pulls ‘Dotty’ into a parking lot in front of a refurbished warehouse with a blue and green neon sign proclaiming the establishment Galaxy Fitness Club.