The Glass Mask

by E L DuBois

  Beauty fed the Princess and laid in bed with her. The numbness started to seep in and Beauty was overtaken by exhaustion. The house was silent except for the Princess’s breathing. The sweet rhythm lulled Beauty into a dreamless land, her cherished daughter cradled in her good arm.

  The Beast did not return that night or even the next morning. Beauty hoped he would not return at all. That evening, all her hopes were dashed when she saw his truck parked in front of her home. When she unlocked the door, the babysitter had gone, and Beast bounced the Princess as she giggled. He looked happy and was planning to cook dinner. All Beauty could do was gape at him.

  The Princess reached out to her and she took the sweet child into her good arm. The Beast embraced them both and smiled broadly. He was so chipper, Beauty wanted to vomit. This false display of happiness had become grotesque to her.

  The Beast whispered in her ear, “I am so glad you are home. Now I have both my girls. I have missed you so much. Go get changed and relax. I will take care of dinner.”

  Beauty eyed him suspiciously but took the baby with her as she changed out of her work clothes. She was silent as she entered the kitchen and saw the Beast smiling as he texted on his phone. She said nothing and just watched him. When the baby made a noise, he was startled. Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Beauty knew the Beast was up to something with someone. All his recent and constant accusations of infidelity began to make perfect sense.

  She said nothing and just walked to the couch and sat down. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess that evening as she started going back over all of his suspicious behavior since the baby had gotten sick. The need to move out. The accusations of infidelity that he used to rape her and move back in on their life. His constant guarding of his cell phone. The ringer never on. He always had it on silent or vibrate.

  As she went to bed that night, awake and staring at the ceiling, she wondered how he had the time to try and romance another woman, with all the efforts he put into obsessing over her and making her life miserable.

  Around two in the morning, she began to think there was no way he could have had the time. At four that morning, all her suspicions were confirmed. She had gotten out of bed and was getting ready for work. She heard a buzzing coming from the Beast’s pants on the floor. She immediately pulled the phone from his pants’ pocket and silently slipped into the living room. With a whisper, she answered the phone. A female asked for the Beast.

  Beauty said, “May I ask who is calling?”

  The female replied, “His girlfriend. Who are you?”

  Beauty simply stated, “His wife.”

  Chapter 11

  All the King’s horses, and all the King’s men,

  couldn’t put Beauty back together again…

  BEAUTY WANTED TO throw up and rage against the world as the woman on the other end of the phone apologized, then proceeded to detail all the things she had done with the Beast. After the initial call, Beauty had given the Bar-Wench her phone number and returned the Beast’s phone to his pocket. When the woman called, she told Beauty the story of how the Beast had picked her up in the bar and how she had slept with him on the first night. She told Beauty how he had, in fact, come to her house on Father’s Day and spent the night. Beauty’s head was reeling with every trashy detail and comment the Bar-Wench gave her. The woman went on and on about how she had no idea the Beast was married. He had told her he was divorced. She even told Beauty their daughter was beautiful. This made Beauty pause. The Beast had shown this slut random pictures of their daughter? WTH? The Bar-Wench had no shame, and as Beauty listened, quietly falling deeper into the numbness, she detailed every sexual act she had shared with the Beast.

  When Beauty could not bear to hear another word, she told the Bar-Wench exactly what the Beast really was and gave her a few details of her own. She made sure that his hook-up knew he was not some great catch. He was all lies. She told her in a deadened tone how the Beast had beaten and raped Beauty before coming to her house to screw her five times in three hours.

  To this, the woman replied, “Oh we did not use any protection. I’m allergic to condoms and not on the pill, but he did not seem to care.”

  Beauty just gaped. Where in hell did he find people like this? Oh wait…the Bar. How stupid could this random chick be?

  Beauty did not even know what to say anymore. Not only had the Beast put her through hell, raped her, abused her in every way... now he was cheating too. Possibly exposing her to sexually transmitted diseases. WTF! Worst of all, he would not let her go or leave her alone. Beauty hung up on the Bar-Wench while she was in mid-sentence. The sentence started like this, “I’m Catholic. I would never break up a marriage.” Beauty did not hear the rest as she hung up. All she thought was, it’s ok to have unprotected sex with some random guy at the Bar, possibly get pregnant or diseases, but not ok if he is married. How very Catholic of you. Jeez, when had her life become a bad Lifetime movie?

  As Beauty sat in her living room watching the sun come up and trying to process all she had been through, something inside her gave way. With a determination like she never felt before, she went and got the Princess and took her to the babysitter. You would think she would flee, but that snap had been years of anger and abuse. She wanted to fight back. She wanted retribution for all the Beast had done to her. So, her next step was to call work and tell them she would be late that day. Then, she drove home, ready for an epic battle.

  When she returned home, the Beast was still sleeping. Beauty took advantage of that fact and channeled Angela Bassett from Waiting to Exhale. Damn the consequences. This son of a bitch had it coming. Seriously though, he was a true S.O.B. in every sense of the word. If you ever met her Mother-in-law, the Wicked Bitch of the West, you would understand.

  The Beast awoke as Beauty was methodically throwing all his shit out of the second story balcony. Something in her eyes must have given him pause because he did not try to attack her. He just stood there watching Beauty go completely and utterly nuts on a nuclear level. When he came near her, it was like he was approaching a wild animal. Beauty had never acted or felt like she was losing complete control until that morning. All his abuse and betrayals had mounted up and overflowed. She was not a violent person by nature, but that day, when he attempted to restrain her, she kicked, clawed, and punched the Beast as hard as she could. He only tried to restrain her once before backing off. She screamed and raged as he watched her. She felt no fear. She only felt rage. The adrenaline coursing through her veins made her feel like she had the strength of ten men. It was both exhilarating and frightening. She felt crazed. She felt insane. The Beast had made her crazy. WTF was happening to her?

  She was sobbing and breathing heavily when she finally slid down the wall and hung her head between her knees. She was so exhausted – physically, mentally, emotionally. Was this how the Beast felt after he lashed out at her? Was this the high and low he was constantly chasing? Beauty did not understand anything anymore.

  She was not sure how long she sat there panting, before the Beast approached. When she slowly brought her hazel eyes up to meet his ice blue ones, she saw no anger or remorse. She only saw pleasure and amusement in them. Why was she not surprised? This mutha-fucka…

  Chapter 12

  Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as

  six impossible things before breakfast…

  THE BEAST WAS only wearing low-slung jeans and no shirt. Probably because his other clothing was all over the yard and his truck, which Beauty had contemplated setting on fire, but her rage had fizzled out before she got there.

  The Beast slowly crouched down, resting his forearm on Beauty’s knees. He never broke eye contact. They stared at each other for a long time. He seemed to be searching her eyes and face for the reason behind her snap. Beauty knew the exact moment he figured it out, because a wide smile spread across his face. She wanted to claw out his eyes, and her fingers clenched in response. This amused the Beast. His perfect white
teeth and tanned skin mocked her. The sparkle in those cold blue eyes was sickening. Beauty did not move or flinch as the Beast leaned his face close enough to hers that their breaths mingled. She could feel excitement coming off him and a feeling of unease began to creep up her spine.

  His deep southern drawl was low and amused. “I see my Beauty has found out about my new darling.”

  Without even realizing she had done it, Beauty slapped the Beast across his face so hard a crack echoed through the eerily silent house, and her hand stung like a thousand bees had attacked her palm. The action had whipped the Beast’s head to one side. A stunned Beauty tensed and readied herself for retaliation. But the Beast merely turned to her, smiling. She caught a flash of fire in those cold eyes. The blood from his split lip making his teeth a grotesque sight. Then, the Beast did the last thing Beauty expected. He let out a long, exuberant laugh. The kind of belly laugh that made him clutch his abdomen and fall back on his butt.

  When he finally stopped laughing, his words were cold and callous, “I did not know if I was in love with you. So, I went looking for a confirmation. She looks a lot like you, but she has bigger breasts and likes to do drugs with me. I thought that made her like you, but only better.”

  Beauty was seething inside but made her response cold and flat as she stood to leave. “Then go be with the Bar-Wench. Your better version of me. I want you gone before I get home.”

  Beauty did not even make it to the door before the Beast was on her. He gripped her by both arms and backed her against the wall. His demeanor was menacing and cold as he placed an arm on either side of her body, caging her in. His face was only inches from hers. She tensed, awaiting his next move. He dipped his head and slowly ran his nose against her neck, breathing in scent. His words were a mere whisper by her ear.

  “Want to know what I learned? She was not better than you. No one is better than you. You are perfect for me and I know that now. If you just had bigger breasts or were not against my drug use, this would never have happened. She was your fault. But, I know now that you are the one, Beauty. My perfect possession, even with your shortcomings. I will never find a more perfect plaything. I just had to confirm that and now it’s over with. It will never happen again. I want no one else. I need no one else, because I have you. My Beauty. I will always have you and you will always be mine. I will never let you go, because I will never allow you to carry another man’s child, and I will never allow another man to be father to the Princess. You and her belong to me. I am not going anywhere. Do you hear me? YOU ARE MINE! So, be a good little Beauty and go get into the car. I will be driving you to work from now on. I will forgive this kind of behavior this one time and I will see you when I pick you up.”

  Beauty was trembling from his tone and words. She wanted him gone with every fiber of her being. Instead, he was staying and giving her orders. As he lightly kissed her cheek and patted her on the butt, he opened the door. Her thoughts were a whirlwind. The gall of him after all he had done. To betray and hurt her so easily and then blame her? Good God, what had she done to deserve this?

  The Beast was evolving right before her into an even more heinous monster. One who played with her life and emotions like she was his pawn in a chess game. She was trapped in a never-ending, evolving cycle of emotional, physical, sexual pain, and the only way she might ever escape is through death.

  Either her death, or his.

  Chapter 13

  Lift your head, Beauty

  If not, the crown falls…

  IN THE DAYS after Beauty found out about the Beast’s infidelity, she began to unravel. The days of her driving had been revoked. He watched every move she made and monitored all her contact. She had nothing private. He checked her phone, emails and social media. All her passwords had to be accessible and if they were not, Beauty paid with a pound of flesh.

  He pretended in front of others that he was remorseful. He had, of course, confessed his heinous acts of infidelity to anyone who would listen. Not because he truly felt bad, but because he wanted others to see Beauty as weak. What kind of woman forgives and stays which such a cad? He never confessed all the other abuses. He never would. Being an adulterer was one thing, but the Beast would never admit to the true monster he was.

  The Beast even went as far as to make Beauty attend couple’s counseling through his father’s church. The ridiculousness just kept piling up. All he cared about was perception. He was a misguided, lustful husband who had betrayed his loving wife but wanted redemption. Beauty look like a weak and ignorant wife who was standing by her deplorable man. The church counseling sessions were the absolute worst for Beauty. All the men and women had known the Beast when he was a child. They all knew the sordid details of his father and ex-stepmother’s relationship. His family had no shame and told all their business to anyone who would listen. Hence, the talk show. Every time Beauty had to attend one of the sessions and feel all the pitying eyes upon her, she wanted to yack.

  Something inside Beauty woke up that day. Some sense of self-preservation or caring. The Beast’s actions had changed as well. It was like the high off her mental meltdown was sustaining his need for violence.

  One day, at work, Beauty became very sick. She was running a very high fever and had a pain in her groin area that was so severe she could not walk. The Beast came and got her after work and took her to the hospital. The doctors told Beauty she had the same kind of infection the Princess had suffered from and would need to be treated with surgery and strong antibiotics. Beauty felt so bad that the Princess had suffered this pain, because Beauty had probably carried the infection in on her shoes. She had surgery and spent the next week in the hospital. The Princess stayed with the Queen because, of course, the Beast was right by her side the entire time.

  One day, as Beauty lay in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling, a sweet nurse came in to check her vital signs, so the Beast was on his best behavior. Beauty’s phone rang but because the nurse was present, the Beast could not jump up to snatch it from Beauty’s hands and field the call. Beauty did not recognize the number, but she answered.

  “Hello”

  The voice on the other end of the phone made Beauty sick with disgust.

  It was the Bar-Wench with her whiny, chipmunk voice.

  “I was just calling to let you know I am not pregnant.”

  Beauty could not believe the gall of the Wench.

  “Great, thanks! Never call me again.”

  Beauty was just about to hang up when the shrill woman’s voice stopped her.

  “Wait, I just thought you should know I have been in the hospital. I got a staph infection and I think it was from him.”

  Beauty could feel the blood draining from her face.

  She glanced at the Beast. He was charming the nurse with a smile and small talk, but his eyes were on Beauty. She was never out of his sight. Like a small injured animal in his trap. She was his favorite kind of prey.

  “Me too,” was all she could utter before she hung up.

  When the nurse left the room, the Beast quickly lost his mask of politeness.

  “Who was that”?

  “Your Bar-Wench.”

  The Beast looked at Beauty expectantly. His expression, one that said, “Don’t make me have to ask.”

  “Congratulations, you are NOT going to be a father.”

  A moment of relief crossed his face. It was so brief, Beauty almost missed it. If it had been anyone else, they would have missed it... but not Beauty. After a few years with this monster, she could see his tells.

  Beauty made her move.

  “She had something else interesting to say.”

  His voice was low, and his eyes narrowed.

  “What was that, beautiful?”

  Beauty hated when he called her beautiful. She knew he found true beauty in her pain, degradation, and loss of self. It had nothing to do with outside beauty and everything to do with the chaos inside her.

  “She said she has been in the h
ospital with a staph infection, like mine, and she thinks you gave it to her.”

  The Beast cocked one eyebrow, and the corners of his lips tipped up in a sneer.

  “Is that it”? His laugh was hearty and condescending.

  “Of course, I gave it to her. I gave it to all my girls. That kind of thing is all over strip clubs and the nasty strippers that work there. I had it before the Princess got sick and dug it out of my arm myself. I got it from this stripper I messed with before that girl from the bar.”

  Beauty went completely still. His laugh echoed off the marble floor of the hospital room.

  “Oh, Beauty, your face is priceless. I love it. All this time you were blaming yourself and I was laughing inside at my own nasty, little secret. I hoped eventually you would get it and then I could tell you. I love how clueless you are.”