by Jen Lowry
When the bell jingled its last, I knew we’d better be out of there. Two nights lingering in a row wasn’t going to work. Daddy had whispered to me last night and again this morning that he could let one slide, because he understood my need to talk it out, but no more. I knew not to push him, especially since I had already picked out that pink dress for Bell. I couldn’t stand the thought that she wouldn’t get to feel all ladylike on our first date.
“Thanks again, Mrs. Sunshine, for everything.” I waved the bags at her.
“No, honey. Thank you. Every now and again, I need a little jolt in my spirit. You jump-started me into next week.”
She warned Ray not to let it go long tonight. When Ray spoke his “yes, ma’am” and opened the door for me, I felt so much admiration for the way he was with his family. He was always there for them—working, smiling, helping, and never once complaining. He was a grown man now, could have done what he wanted—went on off to college with Denise, or to someplace even farther away. He could have left on that Army train and gone. But he stayed right on here. Stayed on for them, and now for me.
“You know you don’t have to do that now.” It just hit me. I loved that and hated it all at the same time.
We were swinging hands, walking at a snail’s pace despite the clock. “Hold your hand?” He pulled my hand up and kissed it. “I must. You know that. For the rest of my life, I’m grabbing your hand and staying as close as possible to you. As close as I can get.”
“No, that’s not what I meant, silly. I meant you don’t have to go to the Army to take care of me. Can’t you go on and follow behind Denise, if that’s really what you wanted to do before I fell into town?”
“I want to stay right here, for now. Sorry. You can’t get rid of me that easy. The spring will be here before we know it, and then it’ll be a hard day when I’ll have to go to that base for basic.” His arm came around my shoulder as we approached the gate.
“Ray. I love you. And I’ll be here or follow you when I graduate, one or the other. Whenever. Wherever. But don’t let me stand in your way. Either way, it can work out, but if you want college first, then go for it. We’ll make it, Lord willing.”
He wasn’t stopping. Now, after his first few visits up to number seven, I wasn’t ashamed of it anymore. He’d never judged me, even from the beginning. So what? A room was a room. He would have accepted me in a broken-down squatter home.
Daddy welcomed him in.
Ray said, “I can’t stay but a minute, sir. Momma is clocking me, too.”
Daddy laughed, patting him on the back. “Good woman, your momma is, and you are a good young man. Thank you for walking Sweet Potato every night.”
“That’s all for my benefit, sir.”
He smiled at me, but what he didn’t know was that those few moments alone with him in the world were the best benefits I’d received in my whole life.
Bell beamed. “It’s your night, Sweet Potato. Bean decided.”
The flashlight hit me, dancing across my face as I shielded my eyes.
Not in front of Ray. Oh, Lordy, no! No spotlights for me. “I … I …”
Daddy clapped. “I … I … nothing. Ray, call Mrs. Sunshine and ask her is it okay for you to stay a little while longer for Sweet Potato’s concert.”
For that—for more time with Ray, for Daddy requesting it again and accepting Ray into my life—I would sing my heart out. I would sing like there was no tomorrow, even though tomorrow was going to shine, Lord willing.
Ray fumbled for his cellphone in the dark and called Mrs. Sunshine. By the smile on his face, I was sure that the time extension was granted.
He confirmed my suspicions, because he went back to sit down in front of Maize—his spot, it seemed. Bean centered the light in the middle of the room. “Okay, sis. Let us have my favorite.”
“No.” Daddy’s voice was firm. “We have a guest. I think that if anybody is getting special treatment, it would be him.” He turned to Ray. “What is your favorite song, son?”
That was mighty important to Daddy. When he asked someone that question, it was like asking what their name was. He always said a song defined a person like no other way. Daddy could read the person to know if they were serious, God-loving, stable, whimsical, or wild. I hadn’t had a chance to warn Ray about the possibilities of a jukebox selection, and how his choice could make or break him in Daddy’s eyes.
Ray was quick to answer. “I have two, but since I’d already heard your family sing one of mine, ‘Amazing Grace,’ I’ll go to my second favorite. Do you know ‘How Great Thou Art?’”
Good selection on the jukebox, sweetheart. “I love that one.”
Daddy would approve of that in a mighty way. We seemed to like the traditional gospel music the best—the older hymns. That contemporary stuff was fine and all. Bell, especially, liked those songs the best—when we would choir-sing and clap up a frenzy. But I liked the stuff from long ago, like Daddy did. Those old spirituals got me like no other.
Daddy clapped. “All right, Ray. That’s my boy. Go on ahead, Sweet Potato. ‘How Great Thou Art.’”
I sighed, finding my way to the center. My voice could probably be heard throughout the whole shelter, but nobody ever seemed to care. Never had any complaints from any of the other temporals. So, we kept it up.
When Ray was leaving, he gave me that smile, and I could see in his eyes that he hated to take off. It seemed harder and harder the more I was with him. I hated that nights had to end. Could love operate like that? Could it grow more and hurt more every single day? The next day would be the date night, and I would get to have him all night—no customers to wait on, just me and the youngins. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
I held up the bags after he left. I’d forgotten about the presents from Mrs. Sunshine.
Daddy frowned. “That woman already done enough for us. She doesn’t need to be going and buying you kids no more clothes. I think I need to remind you about handouts.”
I stopped him. “Daddy. Can they try on their clothes while me and you go on up and talk a minute?” I would have never imagined that I’d be requesting an upstairs meeting, but there were a few things that needed to be discussed properly.
Daddy eyed me curiously as I paced back and forth on the rooftop, giving me time before I spoke. I looked up to Jesus to make sure I was doing the right thing. No more disrespecting Daddy or outbursts like before.
Okay. I was ready. “Daddy, no matter what outbreak I had, don’t think about moving us away from The Dream. Whatever plans you have for living arrangements, those kids have to go there, so we gotta think bus routes now. We never had to think about districts, but now we do. I mean, they have to go there. Trust me, this is the best place on the other side of heaven for them to get their schooling. So, the bottom line is no moving too far away. Deal?”
That wasn’t really a negotiable one, but I wanted him to think so.
“Deal. Go ahead. I know you got more. I’m listening.”
Daddy crossed his arms and leaned back against the brick wall, smiling at me. He liked this new role, I could tell. My secret was probably about to eat away at him. He didn’t know that I had faith now to claim this land. Watch out for the girl with a prayer on her lips and faith in her heart. It could get me somewhere.
“When we get to that place, you get a big enough place for us kids to share equal rooms. Me and Bell, Bean and Maize. We only need the basics. We ain’t those kinds of kids, and you don’t try to impress us with new things or expensive toys. We never were like that, and we ain’t going to go changing our fundamental outlook on life because we might have some money coming in from Soul Food.”
I hoped he got that message.
He nodded. “Okay, go ahead. I wouldn’t think of that, no way.”
“You let me still work at Soul Food and pitch in and help with all of our necessities. You can’t be the only one responsible for this family, and now that I can do my du
ty, it’s only right that I work as much as I can. Maize will be soon to follow, and he will learn responsibility early to keep him on track.”
Daddy cut in. “Listen to me. You think I’m the kind of man that’s going to lie on some sofa and watch some TV while—”
“No TV, Daddy. Promise me. No gaming boxes or TVs or cellphones.”
“You are getting a cellphone. If you’re going out with that boy, the bottom line is you are getting a way to check in with your daddy. In fact, here it is now.” He pulled a little, red box out of his back pocket.
“Mrs. Sunshine put you up on her plan for right now, until we can get things settled. It comes right out your paycheck, but you got some family plan with them that you can call Mrs. Sunshine, Mr. Joe, or Ray for free. But don’t go burning up them minutes with friends.”
“Daddy. Please. I will call no one but who you say.” I swallowed hard. “I can call Ray?” Anytime I want, for free. Oh, Lordy.
“You can call Ray. That’s what I did say. You got any more words of wisdom for your old Daddy?”
I laughed. “No, I think that about covers it.”
He smirked. “I’ll try my best to abide by your wishes. Tomorrow, when you go to Soul Food, you pull out that apron from my drawer, and you turn it over and read it. I’m not ready to show it for testifying just yet, but when I am, you will know it.”
He put his arms around me and gave me a papa-bear hug. I whispered, “Give us a life, Daddy. Not only breathing air and surviving. Give us a life that matters—where we can make a difference for someone else, too.”
He opened the door and led me down the stairs, shaking his head. “Don’t you know we already done that? We’re still doing that, Sweet Potato. It hasn’t hit you yet, that’s all. There’s more that I can be giving you, but you wouldn’t learn anything from it being handed to you. You learn through working out life, and I think I’ve raised you up right. It is showing well on you.”
The kids were in their bunks, ready for the night to end so they could all go out on their first date.
Daddy spoke low. “Don’t be calling and talking to Ray until we all go to sleep. Let these youngins get a good night’s rest.”
I frowned. “I don’t know his number.” I’d rectify that tomorrow.
“Think of this as an early birthday present. Mrs. Sunshine is number one. Hit number two. He’s on speed dial.” He chuckled softly. “Goodnight, Sweet Potato. I love you. No matter how old you’re getting, you’re still my Sweet Potato Pie.”
“I love you, too.” I held the phone close to my heart. “Thanks for Ray.”
He turned over. “I don’t think that I had no workings in that. It was all God. Thank Him.”
I smiled up at the heavens to Jesus. To Momma. I said, “I thank Him every day, don’t worry.”
“I don’t worry about you at all. Now let me get some sleep. I got the early morning.” He was snoring right after he spoke his last word, it seemed.
The room was quiet, but my heart was thundering out of my chest. Could I truly call him? Could it be possible that I could push the number two and hear his voice? I hit the button, and it startled me because it beeped so loudly.
“Sweet Potato, is that really you?” He seemed as amazed as me.
I whispered, “Yes.”
He laughed. “I guess you’re trying not to wake anybody up, huh?” He knew my living arrangement. He added, “I’ll do most of the talking tonight, then, if that’s okay with you?”
I whispered back that it would suit me just fine, still in wonder that I could have this time with him. Second best to being in the same room with him. I could close my eyes and see his smile right now. It helped ease my panic about holding a phone up to my ear.
“Please. Let me hear you.”
We talked well into the night—well, mostly him. I made him tell me all about him growing up, school, football, church, and what he loved most about his life. As I listened to his soft voice weaving me closer into his spell, I saw myself with him in all of his stories. Watching his life as I sat on the sidelines. Now, we walked down a cracked, concrete path, but I knew that one day I would see him waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
Even though I knew I was too young to be thinking of such grown-up things, I could see us having children of our own. I’d name them all after flowers—at least the girls, that is. Ray said if we had boys, they would get Bible names, like Solomon and Samuel. And he wanted at least five kids, he said. That was fine by me. My girls would be called Lavender, Lily, and Daisy. With my three, that would make eight, and that was enough.
He told me how he’d saved up all of his money from working at Soul Food since he was fifteen, and he was leaving it all with his momma for things I might need when he went to basic training in the spring. He told me more about his plans for the future and how being a chaplain assistant in the Army was the place where he was supposed to follow God’s calling.
I said, “But I told you, you don’t have to worry about me now. Daddy is going to take care of us. I told him that he ain’t carrying us away from this place, so he knows he better start getting his act together. I didn’t want to tell him the truth, and I guess you need to hear it right now before you truly accept me.”
I had always known this but had never told another soul. Maize figured it out for himself and told me once that he secretly wished it would happen. Poor child.
“Tell me, Sweet Potato. You can tell me anything,” Ray spoke softly, and I hugged the phone against my ear.
“If Daddy tries to move us again, I’m taking those kids as my legals. I can do it when I turn eighteen. I can make it happen, if your family could help me. I’ve meant to talk to Mrs. Sunshine about it sometime or another, but first I want to put my trust in Daddy to do the right thing.”
“You will be my wife, and soon I will take care of you and those youngins, too. Don’t you worry about a thing, because together we’ll always be able to do right by them.” He brought me back down with an over-and-out. “You need to get some rest. I don’t want you falling over on our first date.”
“Date … Mmm …”
Just saying the words was like a triple scoop of rocky road ice cream. We said our goodnights, and even though I couldn’t believe the time had gone by so fast, I was far from sleepy. My mind replayed our conversation, hitting the parts where his life had changed since he met me—how he felt complete and not alone. How God was working us all out together, soothing our fears. His words washed over me, and once again I had to remind myself that this man was mine.
When girls would talk about boyfriends at school, I rarely listened to them. Since I was never truly included in those kinds of talks anyway, I always was on the fringe of the goings-on. I stuck my head in a schoolbook and went on about my day. It had never been on my priority list to even once contemplate what it would be like to have a boyfriend.
As the sunshine brushed against my face, making me feel right pretty for the new day, I knew what mattered most was in this place. How appropriate for us to start us a new life here. God sure knew what he was doing. Funny how I’d always loved a good, romanticized story about how a name could come to be—from restaurant names to people.
I could not go back. My family had always been enough. Now, with Ray and Soul Food and that school for the youngins—I could rejoice enough to jolt my spirit just thinking about it.
As soon as I tied my apron, Mrs. Sunshine was loosening it. “What do you think you are doing, child?”
I shrugged. “Getting ready for work, looks like to me.”
“Getting ready for your date—I think so. Did you think you were working today?”
She waved that famous finger at me. I hadn’t seen Ray or heard his welcome call, so I figured she had sent him scurrying away, too. What did people do to get ready for such things? Wash? I’d already done that.
“I need to work extra for that special gift you gave me yesterday. Thank you so much
for that.”
I patted my pocket. The cellphone had one message on it—sweet words from Ray telling me he couldn’t wait to spend the evening with me. That reminded me. I needed the instruction manual on the thing, because I didn’t know how to send a message back, and I was too embarrassed to call and ask.
“That was your daddy’s idea, and a fine one. Kids today don’t need to go off alone without having some way to contact us—not with all that evil out there in the world, I tell you. And speaking of your daddy, here he is now, right on time.”
Daddy jingled the bell with his finger. “Hey there, girl. Didn’t I just see you running down here before I could stop you?”
He had all the kids with him. Bell had on her pink dress, and the boys were practically prancing in their new polo shirts. And they were a right handsome family, if I did say so myself. Right proud of them, I was.
“Daddy, what is this?”
I watched as he went to the drawer and pulled on his apron backward. There went my chance to look. He sure wasn’t going to let me do it in front of the youngins, I had a feeling.
“It’s me working your shift. You are doing double tomorrow. I can do you a favor by letting you have the day off. Ray is picking you up soon, anyway.”
Ray was picking me up? Like coming to a house with a porch swing, shaking hands with the parents as they take pictures? No way was he going to come get me from number seven.
“He ain’t got to pick me up. I’ll be here. I’ll save him the time.”
This was as good as it was going to get. My Care Bear shirt on, my hair miraculously perfect in place. What else was there to do, people?