Sweet Potato Jones

by Jen Lowry

  My voice caught as I began, and I tried to start over. My breath came out in a ragged rush. Bell pulled off her earbuds and leaned in closer to me. “Don’t cry, Sweet Potato.”

  And that made me cry even more. I was here to comfort her, and she was comforting me instead. “I can’t lose you.”

  “But we are going to be right here at Pastor and Patty’s house,” Bean said, like he had already accepted his fate. “You gonna be right down at Soul Food.”

  I hadn’t even thought about me, nor did I care. “I want you with me, always. I’m going to get you.”

  “Daddy told us everything,” Bell said softly. “We can’t go to the farm. Maize is out there. We got to wait for him, so if this is our waiting spot, so be it.”

  “Did Daddy call this a waiting spot? Like you’re in some bus terminal? That’s not what he did. I’m not gonna lie to you no more. He signed you over to the preacher. I’m going to have to fight them to get you back. I’m almost eighteen.”

  “You can’t fight the preacher,” Bean said. “That ain’t right, Sweet Potato, and you know it.”

  “Daddy wasn’t right for signing you away. He wasn’t right for hiding that farm from us, neither.”

  Bell squeezed my hand, and in her ten-year-old wisdom she spoke words of a wise woman. “But don’t you see, Sweet Potato? We had to walk that walk to bring us closer to the Lord. If we hadn’t made our journey, we wouldn’t be who we are today. We wouldn’t be here.”

  “Exactly,” I cried. “Maize is missing. Daddy is a lie. Both of you are lost to me now, too.”

  “We aren’t lost to you,” she continued. “My life on the road has been a blessing, not a curse.”

  How could she say that? How naïve and brainwashed was she?

  I couldn’t tell from her sing-song voice whether she was being honest or not. She said, “It’s been some ride, but Daddy says it stops now. Maize said he was tired, remember. It’s time we stop. We got us what we prayed for, sister. We got us home. Right here.”

  Bean knocked his knuckles on the wall. “You hear that solid sound? That’s a place for me.”

  I’d lost them. “But we aren’t home if we aren’t together. Bell, I need to look after the two of you. I’m gonna fight for you.”

  “No,” Bell said firmly. “We both decided today. We want to be here with the church people. No offense to you, Sweet Potato, but you’ve got Ray. You’ve got to live your life, too. We still gonna see you all the time. We right here.”

  “What are you talking about? Did Daddy tell you to say all this stuff? You really want to stay here?” I screamed out. “You don’t want me?”

  “What are you talking about, Sweet Potato? Stop being a drama queen,” Bean snorted. “We love you like wine loves cheese, like goats make cheese, well … like cheese. You know I love me some cheese.” He was trying to be funny, but I couldn’t laugh.

  I said, “I love you both so much. Bell, you are like a daughter to me. Not like a sister. I think of you both like my own kids.”

  They had to know that, even though I had never told them so.

  “And that’s why it’s time you let us go. We want to be here with Pastor and Patty, and we both decided, so it’s done.” She smiled at me. They weren’t crying. What was this? Some post-traumatic stress disorder come to town?

  I wiped my tears. “You sound like Daddy.”

  “Don’t be hating on Daddy. He’s doing this so that he can find Maize.” Bean took up for him.

  I didn’t believe anything Daddy had said. I would never trust him again. But I knew I had to push my feelings aside about Daddy around them. They already had enough to deal with. My resentment should be the least of their worries.

  “So, you are saying that you want me to leave you here, and you’ll be fine.” I sighed. Don’t cry again. Let me wait, Lord. Calm my spirit, Lord.

  “You’re walking down the street to Mrs. Sunshine’s house when you leave here. It’s not like we’re five hundred miles away.” Bell laughed. “You know you’re about to be married to Ray anyway. You gonna go off to some military place, and we would’ve had to stay behind with Daddy if all this stuff wouldn’t have happened to Maize.”

  “But that would’ve been different. And me and Ray were already talking about fighting to get all of you to come with us when that happened.”

  “But what if we don’t want to be up and moving all the time? What if we want Newport News to be it? Or maybe even that farm with chickens and cows and sheep. Couldn’t you see Bean riding on a horse with a cowboy hat on, herding sheep in a pen?”

  I sighed heavily, remembering me wanting to name him Cactus Jack.

  Ray said, “I guess we need to focus on finding Maize. That’s the priority right now.”

  I nodded, trying to signal I was about to stand up, which meant I needed him to stand up. He came up right beside me and put his arms around me. I knew he could sense my weakness.

  Bell handed me a slip of paper. “You plug this number into your cellphone, and you call us before you go to bed,” she whispered, putting her earbuds back in.

  Diversion. She was holding it back, too. Our nightly ritual of singing and playing was over. We were never going to be the same again. She didn’t know my phone was lost from the close call at number seven. I would have to find another way to call her.

  “Goodbye,” I whispered. “I love you.”

  Bell leaned against the wooden headboard of the bed and ran her legs against the wall, and I turned sharp from her and practically dragged Ray out of the house. I hit the grass and wailed.

  “Baby. Oh, baby,” he said, as his arms came around my waist.

  I pulled at the grass, imagining I was clawing Daddy’s eyes out. Some of the volunteers were still under the tent in the backyard. They stopped their jabbering when they saw me, but I didn’t care. Dirt felt good against my fingertips. I wanted to destroy the earth beneath me. I wanted to rip it apart. I fell flat to the ground, feeling my cheek against the prickling of the grass, whispering into the very earth that God had formed.

  “They took them all from me, Jesus. You give them back to me,” I cried.

  My body was shaking so that I was losing my breath. Strong arms circled underneath me, pulling me, turning me, and shielding me from all the eyes of the world.

  “I’m taking you home,” he whispered against my cheek.

  With all the strength I had left, I pushed against him, before he could pick me up and try to save the damsel in distress. I had a prince out there who was lost, hurt, possibly dead. And this time, I wasn’t going to wait around for Daddy to save the day. He wasn’t my hero anymore.

  I took off running before Ray could even realize what I had decided. “I’m gonna find him, Ray. Let me go.”

  He ran after me for a couple of blocks, keeping right on my heels. Even though I didn’t know these streets and alleyways, I listened to the street and let the sounds take me. I ducked into a boarded house after the fourth block and peeked out of the broken window to see my sweet Ray still running past.

  A rough voice startled me. “You want a bag?”

  It was a thin dealer with a face hidden in a hoodie. How easy it would have been for me to take one. I could have made it all go away, as Momma did. But my life was never easy, so I chose the hard way.

  I said, “No. I’m looking for my brother, Maize Jones. You know any East Coast Grims?”

  His eyes widened. “You better stay away from the Reapers. You not far from their neighborhood, but stay away, I tell you. They the 666 around here.”

  “Which way?” I asked, as I pulled him out onto the broken planks of the porch.

  “About three blocks east. But you don’t need to go that way.”

  “Thanks, mister,” I whispered with gratitude. I squeezed his hand. “You know God loves you,” I said as I bounded down the steps.

  “Yeah, I know it. He loves me this much.” He spread out his arms wide, pulling
his sleeves up to show His veins and track marks tattooed all over his arms. “That he died for me like this.”

  “That’s right,” I called out. “Jesus died for you. And he loves you. Come by The Assembly Revival one Sunday. I want to see you there. You can sit with me and my family when I get them back.”

  As my feet hit the pavement, all I could think of was the name of my brother. The ways of my brother. Spirit, take me there.

  It would be approaching dark soon. This might not have been the best idea—not after all that Ray had warned me about. He told me they didn’t care about me being Maize’s sister no more. That they didn’t want anybody on their turf that could steal away their fresh recruits. “Seek and ye shall find,” said Jesus. I was set on finding Maize, with or without God’s help. I was praying that He had decided to come along for the ride. The streets were tagged, and every concrete place—walls, columns, and sidewalks—showed a silver scythe sprayed boldly. What happened to hopscotch boards and four squares?

  A few blocks farther on, I saw a couple of men wearing plain, black shirts, like the one Ray had found in Maize’s bag. I bet I’d see that same patch on the right sleeve, on closer inspection. “Oh, thank God! Thank you, Jesus!” I raised my hands up to the sky.

  They stood in silence, watching me, their eyes shifting and turning.

  “Hey, hey.”

  They turned straight to me, one leaning over a chain-link fence. Dogs snored lazily on the front porch of the yellow house, close by.

  “You callin’ us?”

  “Come here, baby,” the next one taunted. He was holding a bottle, and I could see the butt of a 9mm pistol hanging out of his low-riding pants. “What is a girl like you doing in the snake’s nest?”

  Don’t be afraid. They won’t hurt me. I’m not a threat to them, right? “I’m looking for my brother, Maize Jones.”

  “We don’t know nobody by that name.”

  The one was still leaning over the fence when I approached, and I could smell his breath. They both had been at those bottles for a while.

  “Of course, you don’t.” I laughed out loud at my stupidity. “He wouldn’t have used his real name. Thank God.”

  “We never do.” Another man approached me from behind. I hadn’t seen him coming.

  He looked me up and down through dreadlocked hair. His eyes were the color of dark clouds, and I hated the look of them. Gray, unnatural eyes, overcast with death as sudden as a lightning strike. Everything about him was sin. He had to be the leader. His confidence was overbearing, and I could feel the power exuding from him.

  “I’m Pale Rider, and my momma sure didn’t name me that. Who are you?”

  “Sweet Potato,” I said quickly, holding my place as he eyed me, feet planted firmly on the pavement. I took their laughter, not allowing the sting to affect me. “I’m looking for my brother. He’s only fourteen years old.”

  “Old enough to carry. Old enough to pop.” He pulled his trigger finger.

  I shuddered. “He needs to come home. He ran away.”

  “Well, maybe he doesn’t want to come home. Or maybe he’s found his home.” The man stepped in closer to me. “Why don’t you go on back to where you came from? You don’t belong here, and you clearly don’t know the rules. I’ll let you get by with this today, but don’t you be coming around here no more. We don’t give second chances.”

  He rubbed his finger against my cheek, and I flinched, snapping my head away. “But you are a little, dirty-faced, sweet-eyed thing. That could count for something.”

  “Look,” I said, my voice rising out of fear. I couldn’t hide it, no matter how much I tried. “I’ve got to have my brother. They took my other little brother and sister for this and signed them off. I got to get him back so that I can save my family. Can you please help me?”

  “I ain’t never had a pretty thing like you ever say please to me.” His evil laugh chilled me all over. “I kinda liked that.”

  He grabbed my arm. “Say please one more time, and I might see what I can do.”

  “Please,” I whispered; eyes closed.

  I could smell the depravity on him—that fresh blood smell. I knew his hands were stained with it, never to be cleansed no matter how much he scrubbed. Only Jesus could clean something like that, no bar soap would do.

  I heard a car approaching before I could see it, and I prayed it wasn’t Ray seeing me here on the street. I knew he would lose it, and that would mean they would kill him. Please, Ray, don’t come. It was the first time and the last that I hoped that Ray wouldn’t find me.

  “Hey, Rider. What you picked up?”

  I heard the young voice of the driver, but it wasn’t my boy. But he was somebody’s boy, a little thing with a thin face and bright eyes. My heart went out to his momma, if he had one, or his grandmother or his older sister. From his baby face, I knew he was no older than twelve, but he was driving the car.

  A yell came from the backseat, bringing me crashing back to reality full force. I’d found him. Maize was pushing up the driver’s seat and climbing out of the black Impala.

  He had a blackened eye and a cut across his left cheek that could have come from brass knuckles or even a knife. He’d only been gone three days, but there was something different about him. He seemed to stand tall.

  “Sis, what are you doing here?” He came and tackled me, separating me from the others. “Go home, now,” he ordered through clenched teeth.

  “Daddy signed Bell and Bean away, Maize.”

  I watched his face fall for a second, and it was almost like I hadn’t even told him anything. Stone. Blank. Dead. He stared through me. See me, Maize! Hear me!

  “Maize?” questioned one of the men. “Maize? Your name is Maize, and her name really is Sweet Potato?” The men rolled on the pavement.

  One of them hollered through tears, “What were you? Some sort of Veggie Tale Gang? She was up in here saying God’s name and all. ‘Save me, save my family, Jesus.’”

  They were hooting and mocking God, hollering out, “Praise Jesus,” their hands raised. I realized what Maize was doing. He was pushing me to the farthest corner of the street, out of earshot. I allowed him to.

  “It ain’t safe for you here. Don’t you know that?” he whispered.

  “And it is for you? I’ll take care of you. Momma left us a farm. Daddy kept it from us, but it will be mine on my birthday. We can go there. Please. Please—we have to get the kids back. Please come on. Please.”

  Tears fell, and it was harder to see his face.

  He turned over his arm, palm lifted, and fear closed around my body like a boa constrictor, slowly taking life from me, crushing my lungs. The sign of the scythe was tattooed across his entire inner arm, the words Slash to Kill scrawled underneath. I could see the clear tape still stuck to parts of his arm, telling me the ink was fresh.

  “Oh, Maize,” I cried. “Why did you do this?”

  “I didn’t have no choice. I don’t belong to you no more. My name ain’t Jones. You are not my sister, so you better get before you get got.” He spoke through clenched teeth still. “Just get out now. Swear to me you won’t come back down here. If you love me, you won’t come back down here. That me is dead. Call me dead. But don’t come down here, because you’ll be dead, too.”

  “I love you. That’s why I’m here. I won’t leave without you.” I put my arms around his waist.

  I could sense the change in his body. His panic had been replaced by an inner strength, a confidence only a gun could give. I felt it before I saw it, as it brushed against my fingers when I tried to wrap myself around him. It was tucked in the back of his pants. Oh, Lordy! Not a gun.

  “Maize, please turn from this. We’ll run. Together,” I whispered in his ear, “I’ll take care of you. Me and Ray. I promise we’ll leave tonight and never look back.”

  “I can’t leave. You know that. You know what would happen if …” His voice trailed off when he heard h
is new name called.

  “Shack.”

  His eyes turned from me. Did they call him Shack? Lordy! “Shack, bring us that big sister of yours.”

  “Nah, man. She’s gone. She ain’t nothing.”

  But his eyes told me I was everything as he pushed me into the street.

  “Run,” he mouthed to me.

  I didn’t have to be told twice, because I saw the young driver slide into the car, eyes warning me he could catch me if I took off. Let him try. I bolted and never looked back. I couldn’t face seeing Maize for the last time. His blank, cold expression, his stance. Those bruises and cuts from some kind of fight already. His tattoo sealing his fate.

  They yelled as the engine roared. “Get her!”

  I ran through a few yards, knocking over a patio table and tearing some clothes off a line. I hit fences and circled back, knowing if I let my feet lead me, I’d find my way back to Soul Food. It had to be that way; I could see the overpass leading to the interstate. And, as if a miracle had appeared, I saw Big Red rolling slowly past. Ray’s arm was hanging out of the window, his head turning this way and that.

  I screamed, “Ray!”

  He knew I was in trouble and slammed on the brakes, climbing over to swing open the door.

  “Get in.”

  As soon as I scrambled in, he barked, “Climb in the back seat and stay low. Do you hear me? Don’t you look up.”

  I did as he instructed, putting my head down, but I could feel the rocking of the big SUV turning around in a driveway. I heard the accelerator picking up. We moved faster and faster, away from a scene that would replay in my mind for the rest of my life.

  When the car started to slow, he called out, “Climb back up. We’re all right now.” And I knew that meant we were safe from any East Coast Grims, safe from my own brother.

  I was too devastated to cry. My well had run dry. “I found him.”