Huntress
Page 30
“You’re not going to let that go anytime soon, are you?”
“Not a fucking chance in hell.”
“All right. I’d say I’m sorry, but I don’t have anything to be sorry for except for letting a band of mercenaries get the jump on me. I mean, I’m definitely sorry I got hit. I’d like to go the rest of my life without a repeat of that.”
“Agreed. And there really wasn’t anything you could’ve done to prevent it.”
“And if what I’ve been told is true, there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it, either. That’s probably what has you so cranky about this whole thing, I bet.”
“That’s an unfair usage of your deductive reasoning, Your Highness.”
“We’re in agreement. I’ll stay out of trouble, you’ll stay out of trouble, we’ll live happily ever after. I’ll also avoid having people beat me in the head, and you won’t get nabbed by vengeful parents attempting to sell you to some old fart. For the record, I may need you to teach me some basic offense so I can beat the fucker if he even looks at you.”
“I can get you a picture and show you a few offensive moves, but I’ll tell you a little secret you’ll appreciate.”
“What?”
“That bastard’s afraid of birds.”
For the first time in my life, I was happy I’d drawn the short straw and could shift into an oversized turkey. “How afraid are we talking here?”
“He pissed his pants once because a pigeon got too close to him. I was fourteen, and my parents were introducing us for the first time. I knew then I wanted nothing to do with such a sniveling coward. It was a pigeon!”
It took colossus effort, but I kept from laughing. “What do you think an oversized turkey will do to him?”
“Give him a heart attack, I hope.”
“Well, if a close encounter of the avian kind doesn’t do that, I’d be happy to give my best shot to spur and peck him in the face for you.”
“You’re such a sweet talker. Beat him with your wings, too. I’ve first-hand experience on that one. Those wings hurt, Your Highness.”
“You tried to skewer me with an arrow,” I reminded her.
“I’m going with accidental injury during self-defense on this one. You tried to break my face with those wings of yours. Obviously, the only solution was to skewer you, brand you, and make you mine as payback.”
I held my arms out to her, and without any other coaxing, she sat on my lap. Resting my head against her shoulder, I hugged her close. “I’m okay with that.”
“Do you think we’re going to have to hide in closets moving forward to spend time together? Because seriously, I was considering relocating you myself,” she confessed.
“I had similar thoughts. I was about ready to make a run for the border. I could deal with the ridiculous schedule, but only getting to see you when you were being run through scenarios was driving me insane.”
She laughed. “Your expression at the last one was priceless. I could see you calculating how you might be able to get away with murder. None of them even bruised me, so you have nothing to worry about. I rather enjoy some of those scenarios.”
“I didn’t like them manhandling you.”
“You’re going to be ridiculous about this, aren’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“How about this? Next time, you can be on the capture team. You’ll have fun with it, we’ll get to face off, and it’ll add to the challenge.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m a disadvantage to the capture team, but it’s probably a lot more fun being on the capture team than it is being the principal.”
“You rolled up your papers and beat Agent Hollacks and Meredith with them. You were starting to figure it out. She’ll want to do a repeat of the stress test after you’ve had a chance to settle down, but I expect she’ll be careful with how it’s done. It depends on how you handle the taps we use.”
“I’m game, except I’m going to need you to be more readily accessible for my plans to run away.”
Eva laughed and rewarded me with a kiss. “I’m going to be the one running away with you if I have to resort to a closet again to get even a kiss.”
“Then we’re in agreement. If we have to resort to closets, we’re breaking out and running away.”
“Why do I have a feeling we’re going to turn Meredith’s hair prematurely gray?” Eva freed herself from my arms and smoothed her clothes. “Let’s get ready to go; I expect as soon as arrangements are made, the entire looney bin is going to fucking barge in here.”
I read between the lines, amused over what Eva thought the looney bin might be interrupting, but I didn’t question her choice. Given a chance, I probably would put us in an awkward situation and leave no doubts as to the state of our relationship.
Chapter Eighteen
Nevada agreed to host us, both to my dismay and relief. If Meredith wanted to do a stress test on me, all she’d need to do was pop a balloon. I’d be halfway across the kingdom before I controlled my flight instinct or someone caught me. Training with the RPS had given me a better idea of what could go wrong, and I lacked the skills needed to protect Eva.
That scared the hell out of me.
Time hadn’t been on my side, and I recognized I wouldn’t have a chance to learn until I finished climbing other mountains first, which didn’t help my mood at all. I remained tense from the instant my father returned to the guest suite confirming we’d be leaving for Nevada within the hour until we boarded the royal plane.
Had I known the trip would become a family affair, I would’ve insisted on going alone. My great-grandpa sat behind Eva and kept poking my wife in the ribs. “I get to be your bodyguard for the duration of this trip. I’ve been informed I count as two guards. My whippersnapper of a son will also get to be one of your bodyguards. I’m not sure if I should count him as two bodyguards or zero. Lions can be lazy.”
My grandfather chuckled, following the head of his detail onto the plane, an older man a few years shy of retirement. “I heard that, Father. I count as two, thank you. But we really know I’m here so you have access to Seb.”
The head of my grandfather’s detail sighed and sat across the aisle from Eva. “My apologies, Your Highness. They’re excitable today.”
“Sedation might help with that,” I suggested.
“They wouldn’t do you any good as bodyguards if they’re sleeping on the job.”
“They’d be a lot less annoying.”
He chuckled and buckled in. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to suffer for the next few days. Be grateful you don’t have an entire pack of wolves to contend with. The wolves are handling matters here for the duration of the trip.”
“What’s the pecking order of RPS agents for this visit?”
Seb pointed at Meredith. “We’re all taking orders from her. Consider us standard members of your detail until we’re back in Illinois.”
“I’m pretty sure having members of the royal family acting as a detail for another member of the same royal family breaks RPS rules.”
“I think we’ve accepted we’re going to have substantial breaches in RPS assignment protocol for the next few weeks. We may as well openly embrace it. In good news, it will leave no doubt that the Illinois royal family sticks together. We’re confident we can mitigate the fallout, although I expect every member of the royal family will be fired officially and told to keep their noses out of the RPS’s general business.” Seb stared at Eva with an arched brow.
“Unlike the other dipshits on this plane, I have a special exemption.” Lifting her chin, Eva faked a sniff. “I’m a trainer. Who has been acting as a principal. My job security is better than yours right now.”
I wouldn’t remind Eva she’d been temporarily reinstated and had zero security in the RPS although her future prospects looked good in my opinion.
Meredith’s laughter proved Eva’s job wasn’t as secure as she’d like, although when I finished in Nevada, there’d be a good reason for
that.
When my parents found out we’d eloped in Montana, there’d be a bloodbath: mine. Would they forgive me if I sent them an invitation to our public wedding?
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” My wife twisted in her seat to face Meredith, kneeling for a better look at the head of my detail. “That’s not funny.”
“You know exactly why I’m laughing, Agent Evangeline. Fight it all you want. It’ll amuse me probably as much as it’ll amuse His Royal Highness. Also, I’d like to remind you that the RPS immediately puts any pregnant agents on paid leave or assigns them to desk work.”
Eva stiffened and her face flushed. “Meredith!”
As I liked everything involved with the idea of Eva and children, I listened to the discussion with interest. I’d been unaware of the pregnancy clause, although it made sense.
RPS agents had dangerous, stressful jobs. “I didn’t know that. At what stage of pregnancy are women put on leave in the RPS? Fully paid leave?”
“They can remain on duty throughout the first trimester. The beginning of the second trimester is when agents are suspended from field duty and put on either paid leave or transitioned to a desk job until the child is born. Currently, the RPS allows six months of paid paternity and maternity leave that can be spread out over the first two years of the child’s life. We just ask for forty-eight hours notice if an agent needs to take time off work to care for their child. Emergencies being exempt, of course.”
“I’ve learned something new. Interesting. How does that rank against standard employers? I’ll admit, I’ve never looked at it closely.”
“Well, that makes sense, Your Highness. It hasn’t been relevant to your interests until now. The RPS is a leader in maternal and paternal leave. Being an RPS agent is dangerous, but we try to accommodate families as much as possible.”
I eyed Eva and smirked.
“Don’t you even think about it, Your Highness.”
“You only have yourself to blame, Agent Evangeline.” My smirk grew into a grin. “I’m just considering the best ways to use this to my advantage.”
“What’s going on in here?” my father demanded, boarding the plane and glaring in my direction. “What trouble are you causing now?”
“I’ve been informed it’s probable I’ll get Eva fired.”
“Maybe in a few months. You have to get to the wedding first, kiddo.”
Eva arched a brow, staring at me in silent questioning.
Unable to do anything else without revealing the truth, I shrugged.
“You’re not supposed to master the art of silent communication until at least a year after your marriage, kiddo.”
“I can’t help it you’re a slow learner, Dad.”
“You’re obviously feeling fine. You’re getting mouthy.” My father claimed the seat in front of me, and my mother joined him. “Darling, he obviously got this from you. I can’t claim any responsibility for the way this child of ours turned out.”
“Like hell you can’t, you flea-ridden cat.”
I expected Dad would be sleeping on the couch. “So, would you be on paid leave yet or not, Mom?”
“Kelvin,” she warned.
“I’m just wondering if I should expect another sister in six months.”
“Fine. Seven.”
I glared at my father. “Aren’t you too old for this? Really?”
“I commend you for avoiding making that comment to your mother, as I’d rather not bury my son today. And no, I’m not. It’s a perk of dealing with the inconveniences of our talent.”
A suspicion sank in, and I gave my great-grandpa my undivided attention. “Could you still have children?”
“Maybe. We do make an effort to avoid adding to the insanity. Your father has added enough to the insanity for the rest of the family, and don’t even get me started on his brothers.”
“Do you think all my relatives would fit in the main audience chamber if we tried to cram everyone inside?”
“No,” my great-grandpa replied. “They wouldn’t.”
I spent the rest of the flight wondering how I’d be able to go a hundred years with Eva without having twenty children. I’d have to budget for a lot of birth control.
Then it occurred to me neither one of us had given as much as a second thought to birth control last night.
I wondered if Eva would kill me, if my mother would kill me, or if Dr. Hampford would kill me.
I found it ironic I’d survived so much only to throw it all way being a thoughtless idiot. I gave myself low odds of surviving the next few days.
Eva locked onto my worries like my uncles did when they spotted a wild rabbit, and she waited for everyone to file off the plane before she pounced. “What has you worked up? You’ve looked like you swallowed a lemon the entire flight.”
I decided to accept my approaching death with grace. “I forgot birth control, and I forgot to ask you if you were on birth control.”
“You use the word forgot like it is important.”
“It’s not a do and ask for forgiveness later type of situation.”
“It’s a ‘there’s no problem’ situation.” Eva rolled her eyes, unbuckled her belt, and hopped to her feet. “Boy meets girl. Girl brands boy’s ass to keep him around. Girl lures boy into nearest empty closet. Boy lures girl to nearest empty bed. Nowhere in this progression is there a detour for birth control. That’s what pregnancy tests are for in a few weeks. If we didn’t get the result anticipated when boys lure girls to the nearest empty bed, then we’ll just have to try again later. Has that offered you any clarity of my opinion on this matter?”
Huh. I blinked, unbuckled my belt, and considered her with newfound appreciation. “We’re one of those couples, then?”
“One of what couples?”
“The kind who loses count of the number of children we have because we have issues with luring each other to the nearest empty bed without any care if birth control is used?”
“We can discuss if we want to limit the number of children we have after the first one. I figure if we have more than a hundred years to put up with each other, we’ll get the first kid out of the way early so we can uphold the family traditional of abdicating as quickly as possible and dumping the problem of ruling on our child’s lap.”
I loved the way Eva thought. “I still should have thought about it.”
“I consider it a compliment, as I’d enticed you so much your common sense dribbled out of those pretty ears of yours.”
“I’ll claim a temporary lapse of common sense due to head trauma and a beautiful but impatient woman.”
“See? There you go. All covered. We’ll blame Dr. Thorton should anyone ask why there’s no evidence of birth control in use.”
“For the record, I really will run away if we have to resort to closets.”
She laughed.
My father poked his head into the cabin. “Are you two coming or not? King Jacques is waiting, and he seems confused by why you’re not out here yet. As a reminder, you can’t join the mile-high club when the plane is grounded, so you have no excuse for delaying.”
“We’re coming,” I replied, getting to my feet.
“Your father is much more casual about our relationship than your mother is,” Eva observed.
“Are you ready to see Jacques?”
Eva shrugged. “He won’t even recognize me. I only know who he is because my mother liked to rant about how he cruelly evicted her from the family. Maybe if she hadn’t been an asshole, she wouldn’t have gotten kicked out.”
I could think of a few circumstances a king would be pushed to remove a member of the family from the picture. “She wanted to become the queen.”
“It’s like you’ve been paying attention to current events.”
“I love that sarcastic mouth of yours.”
“That surprised me,” she admitted, gracing me with one of her smiles. “You liked me for who I was from the very beginning, foul mouth and all.”
“Especially because of that foul mouth. You haven’t been using nearly enough of your favorite words lately. Sprinkle them in, please.”
She took a few steps and waited to make sure I followed her. “I figure the more I curse, the less people will want to do with me. That obviously didn’t work on you.”
“I’m afraid to inform you that your efforts to remain a loner failed spectacularly. I’d also like to remind you that you cursed more without an audience.”
“Well, sometimes cursing is just fucking fun.”
“If you’re not ready to face King Jacques, you’re welcome to hide behind me.”
“Will that increase the odds of you beating him with the paperwork you asked Meredith to acquire?”
“I honestly have no idea. I suppose it depends on what he does if he recognizes you.”
“Reminder: you can’t attack a king.”
“If he raises a hand against you, I’m attacking him.”
Eva laughed. “That’s just a disaster waiting to happen. You’re really not good on the offense. I’m going to be spending years trying to make you adequate.”
“Daily lessons?”
“Don’t sound so hopeful about being invited to your own beating, Your Highness.”
My father bellowed, “Move it, kids!”
“He’s impatient,” my wife complained.
I nudged her into the next row of seats so I could pass her and shrugged. “He’s edgy with good reason. He wants to parade me in front of the cameras to verify I’m still alive, and Nevada likes taking pictures of everything. We’re giving them something to gossip about.”
“Would me grabbing and kissing you in public give them reason to gossip?”
“Yes, and I’d probably like it. But realistically, we should wait for that until we find out if I have to use paperwork against His Royal Majesty of Nevada.”
“Spoilsport.”
I laughed and slipped through the door, taking my time on the stairs so I wouldn’t fall and earn the wrath of my doctors for trying to break my skull again. At the bottom, King Jacques waited with his wife.