Up for Grabs (Up For Grabs #1)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  Cain threw an arm over me. He grazed my breast and went completely still when he discovered I wasn’t wearing a bra anymore. There was a pretty instant reaction against my hip again. Nice.

  “Can I ask you a question?” He asked quietly.

  “Course.” I laid on my back boring my eyes into the ceiling with my imagination running wild. He knew everything. What could he ask? In my peripheral, I caught him watching me. He always watched me. But not in the creepy stalker way. More like gauging my reaction or memorizing every facial expression in my repertoire.

  “Have you ever had an orgasm?” My eyes moved to his face. Why would he ask me that? Is it even a normal thing to ask? The burn on my face was instant.

  “What?”

  He smiled. “It’s a valid question.” My voice wouldn’t work. My throat went instantly dry. All I could do was shake my head. “Ever?” Again the head. “Not even by yourself?” I couldn’t believe he’d said that. My mouth dropped open but I couldn’t form a smart-ass remark or anything. “Man, who’ve you been dating?” He muttered under his breath. He was killing me. If a person could die of embarrassment, I would be ready for burial.

  Cain pushed up before settling on top of me, my thighs on either side of his hips. I hadn’t been expecting this turn of events. And suddenly my brain obsessed over his next move. I knew the possibilities. I was a virgin not an idiot. Ok, sometimes I was an idiot, too.

  “Do you trust me?” His brown eyes were gentle, caressing mine. This time I nodded. I trusted him more than anyone I knew, and had a feeling I’d thoroughly enjoy whatever he had in store for me.

  Kissing me was a good place to start. When his lips pressed against mine, my body relaxed into him. The kiss deepened and stole my breath, his too. There wasn’t a spot his tongue didn’t stroke, and I could feel his heart pound against my chest when his mouth sucked in my earlobe making me shiver all the way to my toes.

  “Cain?” It was a whisper of a word. “You don’t…”

  He silenced me by moving back to my mouth. Shifting himself around, his knee came up touching the exact right spot between my legs. The no man’s land of my body. I jolted from the shock of it.

  My body knew how to respond when he allowed his hands to trail up the skin on the inside of my thigh up to my belly. Tentatively, like he moved a centimeter at a time, his hand slipped inside the boxer-style shorts, touching me very gently. I thought I might explode from the touch but my legs fell slightly apart anyway. I didn’t even know I’d done it until he groaned in my ear. He didn’t try to delve into me as I thought he might, instead his fingers moved in a swirling motion on what Kendra called “the bean.” It felt amazing. That bundle of nerves or whatever was a wonderful addition to the female body.

  Pressure built throughout my body and I was about to come unhinged. Slapping a hand over my mouth felt necessary to quiet the moaning/groaning/whimpering he made happen. It didn’t even sound like me. Cain pulled my wrist away with his free hand placing it beside my head on the pillow.

  “I want to hear you,” he spoke gently in my ear, then kissed right underneath it again.

  Oh dear lord, his voice helped set me off even further. My body started to move on its own making him increase the pressure. I was in unfamiliar territory. And completely out of control. For the best of moments, I catapulted into the air where every muscle in my body tightened with pulsating pleasure then released as I floated slowly back to Earth. Along the way somewhere, my heart exploded. I’d never experienced anything like it before.

  My chest rose and fell rapidly, on the verge of getting lightheaded as Cain stroked my inner thigh softly, murmuring something in my ear. Words I had no ability to comprehend.

  Before I could catch my breath, someone pounded on the wall my room shared with the guest room.

  “I can hear you in there you know!” Sam called out.

  Cain and I both broke out into loud giggles, taken over by the absurdity of the moment. Even more shocking—I didn’t feel embarrassed in front of the man who gave me my first, and seemingly great, orgasm.

  “Why is he in there?” I asked through the bouts.

  “I have no idea.” His hand caressed the side of my body like he couldn’t not be touching me. “So…we good?” His ever watchful eyes were all over me.

  “Oh, yeah,” I said a bit too enthusiastically, causing a super cocky grin from him. “I’m kind of curious though. What do you get out of doing that? Doesn’t seem like anything for you.”

  Cain sat up resting an arm on his upright knee. His hand scraped across his face, over his hair to yank on the back of his neck.

  “Baby, you have no idea.” As way of explanation, he fell over beside me to rub his erection against my leg. He was harder than ever and made clear exactly what giving me that kind of pleasure did to him. “Flannery, I feel like my entire body’s going to explode.” And his voice sounded like it was a definite possibility.

  “Why’d you stop, then?”

  “My parents’ll be home soon. I don’t care but it’s not what I want for you.”

  “So, when we get home maybe?”

  “When we get home definitely.” We heard the front door close letting us know they were indeed back. “I guess I’m off to a cold shower.”

  He kissed me like he didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want him to. As soon as he pulled away my lips were lonely. On his way out, he shut the door quietly but not quietly enough that Sam didn’t hear it.

  “Christ, dude, what were you doing to her?” He called from the other room with a voice that said he knew exactly what Cain had been doing.

  “Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Cain called back. I guess being covert only applied to leaving my room and if anyone else could’ve seen me, they would have known my face felt like it was on fire.

  ***

  In the morning, the sun’s rays filled my room. After Cain left, I hadn’t bothered to shut the curtains, a decision I regretted as soon as my eyes opened. Rolling over though, I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock on the nightstand. It read almost nine-thirty, everyone would either already be at breakfast or already done eating. I’d slept too late.

  Hopping up, I ran to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth. Seeing the hornet’s nest my hair became overnight, I decided to throw it back into a messy bun. Since I was in a rush, I wasn’t going to get dressed. My pajama shorts and tank top were something I would wear outside. But I did throw a bra on quickly. I wasn’t giving anyone a reason to hate me or gawk and his brother definitely would gawk.

  Bare feet slapped against the tiled floor no matter how quietly I tried to step. Sure enough, when I got to the bottom of the stairs, everyone was at the kitchen table, talking, laughing, and basically looking like a freaking Norman Rockwell painting. They were put together. I was thrown together. Yet no one looked at me as if I didn’t belong once I made it inside.

  Not only was I falling—who was I kidding—not only had I fallen in love with Cain, but his family, too. Even the douchey one.

  “Good morning, Flannery.” His mom smiled at me from the stove. She was still working on pancakes with a spatula in one hand and an oven mitten on the other. Cain’s head spun up, taking me in from where he stood by his dad.

  “Morning. Sorry I slept so late.” I hadn’t actually entered the room yet. I felt out of place amongst the golden tan people looking all perfect around the table. Fidgeting wasn’t attractive but I did it anyway.

  “Nonsense,” Paul piped up. “It’s the last day of vacation. We just get up freakishly early.” I knew at least for Sam that wasn’t true. He hadn’t gone to his own house yet and looked as rough as I would have if I’d gotten up hours before.

  Cain crossed the room before pulling me into his arms.

  “Morning,” he whispered. Both of his hands cupped my face and he kissed me right there in front of everyone. At least it was an appropriate one. One we could’ve done in church or something. Then he went back to the table for his breakfast.


  “You know, you’re lucky, Flannery,” Linda said as she plopped another stack on one of the serving plates on the table. “Even when I was your age, I never looked that beautiful without a lot of work. You’re skin absolutely glows.” Cain freaking snorted. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him because I would’ve burst with energy. But I felt confident that my face flushed. Linda smacked his arm with the spatula. I loved that woman. “Be nice.”

  “What? Obviously I think she’s beautiful,” He retorted.

  There were two open chairs to the left of Paul. Leaving the one right by him for his wife, I sat across from Cain still unsure I could meet his eyes without bursting into some kind of donkey laugh after what had happened the night before.

  “Sam, pass the pancakes,” Cain said.

  Instead of handing the entire plate to Jackson who could hand it Cain, Sam took one and tossed it like a Frisbee pretty far outside Cain’s wingspan. Even still, Cain plucked it right out of the air.

  “Nice catch,” Jackson said.

  “Yeah, I’ve got talented hands.” He looked directly at me but I kept my attention on the newspaper sitting on the table next to Paul. Both Cain and Sam snickered at the innuendo. I bit the inside of my cheek hard. So hard, I thought I’d give myself oral cancer. Those two were going to pay. I just had to decide how.

  The least I could do is help with the dishes when everyone finished eating. Linda and I got them loaded up in no time while the sexist pigs, I mean guys, hung out at the table talking about soccer, the fall season, and staying conditioned. Whatever. The only thing I wanted was a shower and some clean clothes.

  As I turned the corner to climb the stairs, someone grabbed my wrist and yanked me back. Cain kept pulling until we slipped inside a room I hadn’t been in that week. It looked like an office with the basic desk and chair combo. I could see his dad spending time in there.

  “We have a couple of hours before we leave.” He pushed me against the desk until I couldn’t go any further then lifted me onto it. “Go to the beach with me?”

  “I have to shower and stuff first.”

  He nodded. “I could not get you out of my mind last night.”

  “Yeah, me either.”

  A hand curled around the back of my neck. His forehead rested against mine. “You’re beautiful like this.”

  “What? Unwashed?”

  The corners of his mouth quirked up. “Natural. No make-up. Hair kind of a mess.” He sighed. “Can I tell you something kind of … I don’t know, weird.” I nodded. Holy hell that could mean anything. “I’ve fantasize about you looking like this the next morning.” He doesn’t have to qualify that. I know which next morning he meant. It was only a matter of getting back home. But some kind of liquid pleasure shot through my veins. I had no idea guys thought about stuff like that. The sex sure, but after?

  Half an hour later, we were standing on the sand, cool water lapping our bare feet. I looked out over the ocean, feeling calm and very, very small. I don’t think I’d ever seen anything as beautiful. I had been to the Pacific a million times since it was one of the few things Mom could afford to do when I was a kid but it didn’t compare to this. I thought that probably had more to do with the company. His arms wrapped around me tightly and his chin rested on the top of my head.

  We didn’t talk. We stood there breathing in the salty air until Jackson called out that Linda and Paul said it was time to go.

  I’d miss Florida a lot.

  Chapter Fourteen

  He wouldn’t stop touching me on the flight back. It wasn’t anything inappropriate but he either held my hand, had a hand on my knee squeezing gently, or pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. All of which I loved but it also drove me crazy. Probably him too. Actually, for sure him too. When he stood to use the restroom, his desire became clear as day. Hopefully I was the only one who noticed. Sam covered a snort that made me think I wasn’t.

  After driving me home, we needed some space. Not because I wanted it but because we literally needed it. I had to do laundry and catch up on all the reading I didn’t do in Florida. The reading I had no intention of doing on spring break. The Bell Jar called my name and that, as well as a Victorian nightmare, had to be done by Wednesday. Plus, the time came for me to get serious about a couple of papers that were due the next week.

  Cain said he didn’t want to let me go but saw the merit in my argument.

  I spent Saturday night in the laundry room, sitting on top of the broken washer with a book in my lap. I didn’t dare go back to my room because with only the one working machine, if you weren’t there when it the load finished, your clothes were liable to end up on the floor, or just plain gone.

  On Sunday, I did a lot of research and reading. Staying in my room seemed to be the best idea because if I ran in to Cain anywhere on campus, the day would’ve been shot. It wasn’t about him wanting things to get physical. I was as horny as him. Difference being he probably took care of some of that tension on his own and I didn’t.

  As according to our routine, a cup of hot coffee sat on my desk when I got to Communications Monday morning. My problem was that I became completely too aware of him sitting next to me. Even Adam constantly kicking the legs of my chair didn’t distract me where on a normal day I would’ve turned around and slapped him in the head.

  Lucky me Cain had conditioning a few nights that week and I started my period, which took sex off the table so I could relax. I’d started to become obsessed, waking with sex on the brain. If I was a guy, my morning wood would’ve been impressive. We talked on the phone and texted. It wasn’t until after my night class that I got to spend any time with him at all. So tired, I would’ve preferred him carry me everywhere but somehow I managed on my own.

  Near the end of the week, Ava and I decided it was time to tackle the two weeks’ worth of mail she picked up Friday morning. We sat in the living area, with a fruit and veggie tray, that sophomore thirty threatened to become a reality, dividing everything up and opening our own envelopes. I wasn’t sure when we’d gotten to the point of getting that much mail.

  Most of it was crap and easy to dispose of. Until I found a letter near the bottom from the J.J. Sparks Memorial Scholarship Fund. Basically the only reason I was allowed to spend my time sexually frustrated with Cain. Or go to college. Either one or both.

  My eyes didn’t believe the words on the paper. I had to go over it three times to make sure I hadn’t stroked out and become unable to read the written word. I started to think a stroke would’ve been better.

  “Fuck.” I said under my breath. Ava still perked up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  “Ah, bad news?”

  “Shit.”

  “I take it it’s bad news.” Ava waited for an answer. “Ok, you’re kind of scaring me.”

  “My scholarship. It’s gone.”

  “What?” Ava dropped down onto the couch to read over my shoulder. “How could that happen?”

  “Something about embezzling. The money isn’t there for next year’s disbursement.” I felt sick. The acid from the oranges I’d been snacking on sat at the back of my throat threatening to purge with the slightest movement.

  “I…” Ava stammered probably searching for something to say. But what could she say?

  I bolted for my room, rummaged around the desk for my cell then dialed the number on the letter. Relief came over me when Janice, the disbursement coordinator pick up the main line.

  “Hi, Janice this is Flannery Tate. I received a letter—”

  “Yes, Flannery, I was hoping to hear from you.” The noise in the background kicked up a notch but her voice came through loud and clear. At least enough to tell me I was fucked. One of the co-chairs drained the account. It was that simple. They had no money for the next year of college that had been promised. Janice did say they were working on more donations and should any come in, as many disbursements as possible would be made. Other than that, sorry about my luck. Ok, she didn’t say the last part. Actually, she h
inted that my name would be at the top of the list should said money become available.

  I could only think about having to leave school. And Cain. I hadn’t even planned on moving home over the summer. Kendra and I were going to sublet a crappy apartment and already secured summer jobs. I only planned on going home for a couple of weeks in May. Even that was still a big maybe. Suddenly, my life was unraveling.

  Before getting into the really ugly portion of the pity party, I got out of the dorm and headed to the office of financial aid. After waiting for over an hour, someone became available to see me. Wendy Vance, a round middle aged woman whose face was far too severe for the hairstyle she chose, had more bad news. The deadline to apply for grants and student loans already passed. I would’ve qualified for the grants without a problem because Mom made shit at her secretarial job but I never applied because of the scholarship. Ms. Vance did inform me I would do well to apply for what would be my senior year. Which meant, what was supposed to be my junior year, would be spent at home working some shitty job.

  Back to my dorm cave I went.

  My phone buzzed so many times that I contemplated turning the damn thing off. I didn’t answer any of the texts or voicemails from Adam, Kendra, or Cain because I wasn’t sure what to tell them. Instead, I called my mom. I wanted my mommy. As lame as that made me feel.

  “Sweetheart, I haven’t heard from you in a while. What’s going on?” Mom didn’t waste time with things like greetings. She always said we had precious limited time and that it’d be best to get right to it.

  “I went to Florida for spring break.”

  “Wow, how was that? Who’d you go with?”

  “Cain.” Silent questions traveled the thousands of miles from her to me. She knew about him, met him, loved him, and I’d emailed her lots of times, yet I didn’t think she thought we were a “let’s go on vacation” couple. “And his family.”

  She sighed. Oh, Mom. “And how were they?”