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Forever Is Over

Page 16

by Wade, Calvin


  How much had Caroline told him? I was going to kick her in the shins when she woke up!

  “I thought she was nice, Dad. I’ve changed my mind now!”

  “Why’s that then?”

  “She’s made me do things I shouldn’t have done.”

  “What sort of things?”

  Dad must have been interested, he even got up and switched his radio off.

  “Just things, Dad.”

  I didn’t want to tell him.

  “Legal things? She hasn’t had you out robbing cars for her, has she?”

  Dad smiled. He knew the last thing I would be doing was robbing cars. He had taken me driving once on Southport beach. I was hopeless, I kept stalling the bloody thing! Obviously, he had promised we’d keep going until I got the hang of it, but we never went back!

  “Of course legal things! Silly things that’s all. Silly things that made a mug of me.”

  “Why did you do them then?”

  “Because I thought I loved her.”

  As soon as these words came out, they seemed very strange. It seemed OK to tell Kelly I loved her, but it seemed wrong to be disclosing this fact to my Dad, a man who shared very little with me. Anyway, how could I love Kelly? This wasn’t love, for two years I had just longed for her, from afar.

  “Does she not love you then, Richard?”

  “No, she just loves me to look stupid!”

  “So you don’t think she’d like to go to the cinema with you tomorrow night, then?”

  “Unless I was naked, probably not.”

  I think my Dad was trying to do the confusing, but now he was the one that was confused.

  “What?”

  “Kelly just likes to see me make a fool of myself, if I went naked, I’d be making a fool of myself. She’d like that.”

  “Well, as I said, she sounds very nice to me and she told me she wants you to know she’d love to go to the cinema with you tomorrow night, if you’ll find it in your heart to forgive her.”

  My heart started pounding. It would just be my luck to have a heart attack now, I thought to myself.

  “She told you?”

  “She just telephoned five minutes ago! Got me out of bed, she did, but as I say she sounded very nice so I’ll let her off!”

  This was one of those moments when I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I had pursued Kelly Watkinson for two years and just when I had decided enough was enough, she had decided to reciprocate.

  Whoever said the chase is always better than the kill, had obviously not spent two years chasing Kelly! Wild horses would not stop me going on that date! I felt euphoric! I managed a smile. A big, fat smile.

  “Thanks Dad!”

  Dad grinned right back at me. This was a novelty in itself, sharing smiles with my father.

  “She said something else too.”

  “What?”

  Here came the catch! Kelly had said two weeks ago that I would have to apologise to Jemma. Bad news was on its way, I was sure of it, I bet Kelly had insisted that I had to make a grovelling apology to Jemma. No chance! I wasn’t going to! Typical, I thought, just when I thought I had finally cracked it, here came the bad news!

  “She said to tell you she’d wash your Mum’s bra and bring it with her! Best not tell your mother that one, son! She might start worrying about you!”

  Fair play to my Dad. He could tell when I walked in, that I was upset, knew he had been given the power to put everything right and had delivered his lines to perfection, even managing to share a joke with me to finish off. As I was getting older, I was growing to like him more and more. He still had all the same faults and bad habits he had had when I was a child, but as I grew older, I was learning to accept them.

  “Is the hot water on, Dad?”

  “It is.”

  “I think I’ll go and jump in the bath.”

  “Good lad. You look like you need a good, hot bath!”

  “And thanks, Dad.”

  “What for?”

  “For being a good Dad.”

  Dad and I didn’t hug. We didn’t kiss. We didn’t generally tell each other how much we meant to each other, so it felt good praising him and I knew it would mean a lot to him receiving praise from me.

  I jumped in the bath, feeling back on top of the world again. As I sat there though, warming back up, thinking how life could change from bad to good in an instant, I felt something. Something odd. I was just there, messing with the soap, slipping it up my left groin, across my stomach and then down the other side, under my testicles and back around. I just felt something wasn’t right. I dropped the soap and felt with my hands. It was on my left testicle. Was it a lump? I wasn’t sure. What did my balls normally feel like? I wasn’t sure. Was it something to worry about? No, of course it bloody wasn’t! I worried too much about everything. It was probably nothing. Life was on the up and I needed to keep smiling, a sunny disposition, that’s what I needed. Tomorrow, I would be going out with the most beautiful woman in the world and I was the luckiest lad alive.

  Jemma

  The doorbell rang. I opened it almost instantly and there stood Ray brandishing a small bouquet of flowers.

  “For your Mum!” he explained before I had the chance to thank him.

  Ray had obviously not heeded my warnings about Vomit Breath. Arriving with flowers was a daft move, she was about as interested as flowers as she was interested in poetry.

  Vomit Breath wandered into the hallway to see who had arrived.

  “For you, Mrs. Watkinson!” said Ray, extending his arm out and passing Vomit Breath the flowers. If he had passed her a plastic bag, full to the brim with dog poo, she could not have looked less enthused.

  “What am I supposed to do with these?”

  “I’m sorry”, Ray said in his upper middle class tones, “do you not like flowers?”

  “Say that again!” Vomit Breath urged.

  “I’m sorry, did you not hear me? I said, do you not like flowers?”

  “I heard you first time, love, I just wanted to hear your voice! You’re dead posh, aren’t you? Pity you’re so ugly, you could have been a James Bond if you hadn’t been so bloody ugly!”

  I gave Ray one of my “told you so” looks. I told him to expect a barrage of insults. Vomit Breath was not letting me down. Not unusually, she was also drunk.

  “Take a look in the mirror before you start calling people ugly, Mum!”

  Vomit Breath ignored me.

  “Come through”. I said to Ray, we were still standing in the hallway.

  “I’m going to make Ray something for tea. Can you make everyone’s life easier by clearing off to the Ropers?”

  When I spoke about my mother to anyone, I referred to her as Vomit Breath but for about five years, in her company, I refused to call her a name. Mum was a term of endearment that Vomit Breath did not deserve. Vomit Breath looked at Ray as though I had just cut her nipples off with a pair of scissors.

  “That’s charming, isn’t it? Do you speak to your mother like that, lad?”

  Ray shuffled uncomfortably.

  “No”.

  “Ray’s mother isn’t a drunken troublemaker.” I added.

  “Is that your name is it? Ray?”

  “No, his name’s Simon. I just call him Ray for a laugh!”

  Again Vomit Breath ignored me.

  “I’ve met a few nice fellas called Ray. Better looking than you, mind! Always good in bed, Ray’s are. Big dicks normally! Last fella I had called Ray had a dick so big, I called him Sting Ray!”

  “Go away, will you?” I begged.

  “Are you good in the sack, Ray? Does Jemma close her eyes? Wouldn’t want that ugly mug of yours looking down at me!”

  I’d had enough. I dragged Ray up the stairs to the sanctuary of my bedroom. He’d been at our house less than two minutes. I slammed the door behind us.

  “She’s a bit of a character, like you said!” Ray commented.

  “A character! I didn’t say sh
e was a character, Ray! I said she was a total nightmare and she is!”

  “Surely she’s not as bad as that when she’s sober?”

  I thought about that.

  “Probably not actually, no. She doesn’t tend to do sober though, just drunk or hungover. When she’s hungover, she just stomps around angrily. Its better though as she hardly opens that big, fat gob of hers. Gives us some peace.”

  “Does Kelly not get on with her either?”

  “No, Kelly tolerates her better than me, but we both hate her. What is there not to hate?”

  “Is Kelly in?”

  “Yes, she’s in. Hang on! KELLY!” I shouted, “Kelly! Come in here!”

  Within a few seconds, Kelly arrived at my door. She knew I had company so she knocked. I guess Amy’s story of my backside glowing back at her at the Birch’s party still haunted Kelly!

  “Come in!”

  Kelly entered with a towel wrapped around her head. Even with a towel on her hair and a pink dressing gown on, she still had the capacity to look stunning. I wasn’t concerned that Ray might find Kelly more attractive than me because even if he did, he would be wasting his time.

  Kelly would not be the slightest bit interested in Ray. She was too good for him.

  “Ray, this is my sister, Kelly. Kelly this is Ray.”

  Kelly smiled. Ray pouted in a macho fashion.

  “I take it Mum’s been trying to cause trouble again?”

  “Would you expect anything else?” I replied.

  Ray was looking serious. Thinking about it, he always looked serious.

  “Kelly, I believe you are taking your GCSEs this year.”

  “Yes.”

  “Now I don’t want to sound patronising, but make sure you do everything you can to get good grades. Going to University was the best thing I ever did, if you have the chance, work hard and get there. Jemma says you’re a clever girl. Make sure you take the opportunity, you’ll never regret it.”

  I think Kelly found Ray’s advice useful but she was aware of an issue that perhaps Ray had overlooked.

  “Mum would love that, wouldn’t she, Jemma, if I went to University? She keeps moaning on about Sixth Form and not wanting me to stay on. She keeps saying its about time I went out and earned a living. She said she’d break my neck if I went to University!”

  I explained the situation to Ray.

  “Ray, I’m sure you have been raised by good people and although I would love to say that Vomit Breath has a soft and cuddly side, the reality is that she hasn’t. She’s a selfish, drunken cow who only ever thinks about herself.

  Because Vomit Breath has been spawned by the devil, I’ve said I’ll fund as much of Kelly’s education as I possibly can. Kelly works in Woolworths too on Saturdays, so she is putting most of her own money away too, aren’t you Kel?”

  “Yes. No point relying on Mum to fund me!”

  “You’d get a grant too, of course!” Ray added, “I’m sure it would be the full amount too, given the circumstances.”

  “Well,” Kelly said, “it all seems a long way off just now. Anyway, I need to go and blow dry my hair. Nice meeting you, Ray!”

  “Nice meeting you too, Kelly! Don’t forget what I said. Work hard. Control your destiny!”

  “OK. Thanks Ray!”

  Kelly left. I was amused. I thought Ray just saved those pep talks for work, but obviously not. I liked Ray a lot, but he took himself very seriously. He was twenty three going on fifty.

  Ray and I stayed and talked in my room for about half an hour, about people at work, about Ray’s ambitions, he wanted to be an Area Manager then National Branch Manager, then on the Executive, he had it all mapped out. We also talked about his family, his mother was a hygienist at the dentists and his father was a dentist, but at a different practice to his Mum. He had one sister, Verity, who had studied law at Manchester University and was now working in a solicitor’s office in London. Ultimately she was going to be a barrister. That’s something I noticed about Ray, his singlemindedness. Ray said “she was going to be” not “hoped to be” or “wanted to be”. I liked that about Ray, he was focused on progression and obviously his sister was to.

  After half an hour, we ventured back out from the safety of my bedroom like a pair of soldiers emerging from the trenches . I had bought a couple of lasagnes that I could just put in the oven, so we headed to the kitchen for me to pop them in. I knew Vomit Breath would come and pester us, but I was past caring. Sure enough, when we walked into the kitchen, she was sat at the table, half-smoked cigarette in her left hand and a vodka and a smouldering ashtray on the table.

  “Can you go and smoke somewhere else, I’m putting our tea in now.”

  “No, I can’t. I own this house!”

  “You don’t! Mr Bukhari owns it.”

  “Well I pay the bloody rent! What are you cooking us?”

  Vomit Breath knew full well I would not be cooking her a thing.

  “I’m not cooking you anything. Ray and I are having lasagne.”

  “When did you make that?”

  “I bought it.”

  “Real hostess you, aren’t you? Would you have made more of an effort if he”, she pointed at Ray, “wasn’t so ugly? You should see what she makes her handsome boyfriends, Roy. Three course meals. Roast dinners and everything!”

  “Take no notice of her, Ray. I have never had anyone here before. Probably won’t have anyone here again, after today.”

  I turned the oven on and went to the freezer. I had left the lasagnes in the first compartment, they weren’t there. I checked the second, third and fourth compartments. No lasagnes.

  “Have you taken my lasagnes out the freezer?” I asked Vomit Breath sternly.

  Vomit Breath dragged on the remaining stub of her cigarette. “I didn’t know they were yours. I had them at lunchtime.”

  “Both of them?”

  “I was hungry. I’d had no breakfast.”

  “Well what are we going to have now?”

  “There’s a bit of cheese in the fridge.”

  I went to the fridge. It was virtually empty other than a small slab of cheese which a small mouse would regard as a morsel. I then checked the cupboards. All that was in there was a mouldy loaf. Old Mother Hubbard was an alternative name for Vomit Breath.

  “Right, Ray. Looks like we are going out.”

  Vomit Breath finally gave up on the remnants of her cigarette and stubbed it out.

  “Take a key, love. I’m off out myself in half an hour. If I play my cards right, I might be out all night. If you two come back here, make sure you put a nodder on, Roy. Last thing I want is an ugly grandchild! Do you want me to see if I have got any spare nodders before you go? It would make things right, wouldn’t it, after me eating your tea.”

  We ignored her. Ray left the house as quickly as he could. Only stopping briefly to shout a quick goodbye up the stairs to Kelly.

  “Fair play to your father for going anywhere near that!” Ray said as we walked towards town, “He should be knighted for bravery!”

  It was the funniest thing I had ever heard Ray say, which wasn’t saying much. Comedy and lighthearted banter were not Ray’s strong points.

  “Do you know what? I’ve seen pictures of Vomit Breath from twenty years ago and she used to look like me. If I went on one continuous piss up from now until I was thirty eight and smoked my way through it, I could turn out like that!”

  Ray was stunned.

  ”Don’t tell me your mother is thirty eight!”

  “She looks older, doesn’t she?”

  “My grandmother looks younger and she’s seventy! Don’t ever do that to yourself, Jemma. Beauty is important for a woman, it’s a way of getting power. Your mother has obviously been a fool but she can’t turn back the clock now. You have your whole life ahead of you, value it and make the most of it.”

  I smiled to myself. Ray made me smile, he didn’t mean to, but he made me smile. He talked a lot of well meaning crap! Ray noti
ced my suppressed laughter.

  “What are you giggling at?” he asked.

  “Ray, are you sure you’re twenty three and not sixty?You talk like an old man sometimes!”

  I could tell I had offended him.

  “I talk sense Jemma, that’s what I talk. Complete sense.”

  I took Ray’s hand. I felt safe with Ray. In my life, safe was not a word I had been too familiar with, I liked it. Vomit Breath would not go near a man like Ray, he didn’t drink and the craziest thing he had ever done was close the Bank two minutes early on Christmas Eve. He was definitely a safe pair of hands. In the future, I thought he would be a good family man. Maybe our future would be together, who knows?

  I was just relieved that my wild days were behind me and I was now more responsible, a better person. I’m sure Kelly was proud of me.

  Richie

  We were on the bus going to Maghull to the Astra Cinema to see “Rain Man”. It was a double decker, Kelly and I were the only ones upstairs. We had met at Ormskirk bus station and ten minutes into our date, we were chatting away like old friends.

  “You know you said you had seen our Jemma out and about with her boyfriend, what did you think of him?”

  I cast my mind back. Although I was infatuated with Kelly, at bedtime, sometimes, I still visualised Jemma when I needed a sleeping pill of sorts. When I had seen Jemma out and about in Ormskirk with her boyfriend, it was not the boyfriend that I tended to look at. I thought hard.

  “Tall, skinny…that’s about it really.”

  Kelly became impassioned.

  “Ugly and boring would be my two words! I met him the other week and he gave me a lecture like my Nan would, about the importance of education and all that crap. I was looking at him and thinking,

  ‘What the hell is our Jemma doing going out with this wazzock?’

  Excuse my French but he’s a fuckwit!”

  “He works with her, doesn’t he?”

  I sort of pretended I only half remembered, just so the accusation of stalking did not return.

  “Yes, at the Middlelands. He’s her boss!”

  “Maybe it’s in her interest to ‘go out’ with him, then!”

 

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