by M J Giani
Nine months later.
Cole put the keys in the lock. His phone was ringing non-stop, and in his intimate, he hoped it was Byron. Ever since they had separated nine months ago, they talked on the phone every night, but never met each other in person. He didn’t want to risk falling into the mistake of making love to him again without having everything worked out. Sometimes, they talked about everything, other times, about nothing, and sometimes, they only wanted to hear each other’s voices. Also, they spoke about things they had never spoken before.
It was refreshing to talk to each other, without sex messing things up. He could now say that in fact, he knew Byron’s soul, and he found himself falling in love with him even more, if that were possible. When he finally managed to open the door, he dropped the magazines and the folder on his hands. He picked up the phone so forcefully, that he was admired he didn’t pull it from the wall.
“Hello?” Cole whispered.
“Cole!” It was Byron’s voice, like he thought. Happy, he nodded, but then he remembered that he couldn’t see him.
“Yes. I’m sorry I’m late, I got delayed in the hospital.” He sat on the chair that he placed near the phone months ago, so that he could talk on the phone, while being comfortably installed.
“Cole, I have something to tell you.” Byron's tone was enough for him to stay alert. Something was not right. He didn’t like that tone. It was usually followed by words that would hurt him.
“The baby was born. It’s a boy.” Byron started.
“Great! Byron...” He didn’t know what to say, something was not right. He felt a knot in his stomach, getting tighter.
“He has some health problems. The drugs and lack of prenatal care were too much for the baby.” Maybe he was worried about the boy, that must be it, he shouldn’t just assume that the problem was with him...Hell, people have all kinds of problems!
“Maybe I can help?” He offered reluctantly. But would Anna want his help? Or even his father?
“The doctors sounded really confident about the baby’s improvement, but I don’t think that changing now would be the most advisable. We did the paternity test. It's mine. I think that maybe we should wait a little longer to …”
Slowly, Cole hung up. He knew he was probably being insensitive to this problem, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t ask a parent to leave his sick child, but he couldn’t wait any longer. It was over, and there was no use pretending it was not. He had fallen in love with the man when he was eighteen and right now, at twenty-three, he still was. But it was time to move on.
7
Five years later
“Congratulations, Dr. Taylor!” One of the nurses stopped to greet him. Cole tried to remember their names, but nothing came to mind. He decided to be more casual and low-profile.
“Thanks.” He said with a nod. It was the fourth or fifth time someone had congratulated him on his promotion. He walked down the hospital corridor, making his rounds of the day. He lowered his head to avoid being stopped again, but he knew it was’nt possible.
An article had appeared in one of the city's major newspapers: The youngest head of the cardiology service, with only twenty-eight years was big news. He was asked to do an interview about it, but he refused – he didn’t want to take a picture for the paper. After everything he had suffered at the hands of his family, he didn’t want to see his picture in the papers, not with all the memories he had - the scar on his face that went from the eyebrow to the corner of his mouth wasn’t pretty to watch. Also, he didn’t want congratulations, he just wanted to do his job. He avoided the nurses and almost ran into the bedroom of his next patient.
“There you are!” Cole turned around and saw his best friend – the only one at the moment – Kelly. Without even realizing, she started laughing. She was the friendliest and real person he knew. In a night of drinking, he told him almost everything that had happened, and she never judged him and always supported him in everything.
“What have I done now?” He asked, more out of habit than real curiosity. He knew she had found out about something. She raised her hand to pull his hair away from his face. He pulled away so she stopped doing that, but she didn’t give up. Perhaps he thought that one day he would let her do it, as if that were possible.
“Have you heard about the newspaper article? Congratulations on the new job. Why didn’t you tell me anything when you applied for it?”
“I wasn’t sure I was going to be picked, but apparently, the hospital likes the publicity that this implies.”
“Pff!” She made a not very elegant sound. “Of course they weren’t going to let this opportunity pass.” Kelly didn’t like the treatment that that was given to Cole, since they treated him more as a prize held for all to see – in fact, his nickname in the hospital was “Doctor Einstein.”
“Let's have lunch together?” she asked him, taking him by the arm to take him to the coffee shop.
“Maybe, as long as we don’t talk about this anymore.”
“No problem!” Kelly laughed, as she knew how he was embarrassed by all the attention he received from everyone. As he entered the cafeteria, everyone stopped to look at him. Cole knew that his nickname was “Doctor Einstein” in the hospital, and for the rest of the staff, he was known as “Doctor Frozen” –and it had nothing to do with the fact that his hair was blond and he had blue eyes. He was a loner, due to the fact that he was very focused on his job, and therefore, he didn’t have many friends. The only person who he was friends with was Kelly and Dr. Prescott-Reid, and only because they insisted on invading his space and weren’t intimidated by his cold and indifferent air. He didn’t do it on purpose, but every time people saw him, they either saw his scar or his intelligence. They had questioning eyes, trying to imagine what would have happened to him, why he acted so strangely. During his college years, he had always been rejected, but though he liked these quiet times, sometimes he really wanted to have a boyfriend, but he was afraid. He didn’t know if he could give such a big part of himself, which many had the potential to break...And then his thoughts went to Byron.
No! He shook his head.
He wouldn’t think about him. Right now, he was a good son, a good half-brother to Kelly and even better than that, he was the best cardiovascular surgeon of the city. Everybody respected his opinions regarding his expertise, and even if you did not like him personally, he was really good at his job. It was way more than he had in the past.
“So, how was your night? Did you have a date?” asked Cole, in an obvious attempt to change the subject.
“Well, he was very handsome, but he spoke so much that he wouldn’t let me speak. The worst was that he was talking with his mouth full.” Cole laughed. Having Kelly around was the funniest part of his life. She always had good things to say and she always shared every signel details. He was never sad, with her around.
“Well, then, nothing happened?”
“Of course it did! He talked a lot, but he was so gorgeous, and that body...” Kelly jumped in his chair, as if she was remebering the night before. Cole laughed again. She liked sex, but she avoided commitment as if they were the plague.
“And how was he?”
“A sex God!” she said, grinning. “But no, I won’t see him again.”
“Kelly, one day you will find the perfect person for you, and I'll be the godfather of your wedding.”
“Never!” They laughed like children, and some heads turned around. It was very rare for him to laugh, but it was impossible not to laugh with his friend. He was lucky to have her in his life.
"Dr Taylor, Cardiology service’s calling! Dr Taylor!”
“The duty calls me. We will see each other at dinner, ok?”
“Of course! See you later.” Kelly waved goodbye.
***
Cole got home nearly dead, after an almost three-hour operation. He had dinner without really appreciating it, since all he really wanted to take a good shower and sleep.
8
Cole woke up with the phone ringing, and thought about not answering it, but he knew the call could be from the hospital, and along with his new responsibilities, he couldn’t afford not to answer.
“Hello?” he said groggily.
“Cole ?!” Cole didn’t recognize the woman's voice.
“Yes, that’s me.” He looked at the clock on his bedside table: who would call him at 4 h15 in the morning?
“It's me.” And with those two words, his mind traveled back in time to those days when he was young and lived in his father’s house – a time when he was miserable. He was about to hang up, when he heard screaming.
“Wait, don’t hang up! He is sick...” Cole stopped, but didn’t say anything.
“I know I shouldn’t care. You've got your own life now, anyway, but you can’t ignore this. It’s your Father.” Cole heard his sister Kate’s voice, and he didn’t feel like answering. He had always wondered how he would feel if his family called him after he was gone. He thought he would feel anger, sadness or even pain, but he never thought he would actually feel indifference.
“What do you want from me?”
“I just wanted you to know about this, since he is also your father, and he may die at any time.” Her voice began to show impatience.
“All right, you’ve warned me. Thank you for calling.” Cole doubted it was only that, but what if it was? Though, really, he didn’t care.
“Wait! You’re not going to ask me about his disease?” He really did not want to know, but he decided to oblige.
“What does he have?”
“He has a heart problem.” Cole should’ve guessed. “And he needs a heart operation. We went to the doctor, and he recommended us who he thought it was the best doctor. We were very surprised when he gave us your name.”
“Yes, but my schedule is already very full and I don’t get any free time. Tell Father that I wish him the best of luck.”
“What? I thought you wanted to save the man who gave you life. He said you were ungrateful, and it's true. You’ve been away for years and you didn’t even make a single phone call!” Apparently, his father hadn’t told them what really happened.
“How curious...because I remember things went quite differently. And like I’ve said, I have no room to operate him in my schedule. Good luck.”
“You’re still the same shitty brat! I should have never called you! Bye.” Cole was starting to feel angry.
“Oh, Kate?”
“Yes?” Her voice contained a little hope.
“Don’t call me again.” Cole hung up the phone before his half-sister insulted him more. He wished he could say that he went back to sleep immediately afterwards, but actually, he kept thinking about it. He didn’t like his father, and his family had never supported him. After everything that happened, no one cared about his feelings. He doubted that his father had told them what his brother did to him, but even so, he was part of their family.
They never called to check if he needed anything, and now this. After staying up all night, he still didn’t have all the answers.
The next day, Cole was in the hospital cafeteria contemplating his coffee, as he felt very sleepy. It was a miracle that he didn’t do any mistake while he was working.
“Hello there, stranger!” said a voice behind him. Cole jumped and almost dropped his coffee with this. He looked angrily at Kelly.
“You scared me” he complained, trying to make a sad face.
“Yeah, me too, but you scared me with that face of yours. Give me a little of your coffee and tell me what happened! Do tell all to your sister, and leave nothing out!” Her tone was suggestive, and Cole knew she thought that a certain type of activity had kept him up all night. Obviously, she would be disapointed.
“My sister called, and ...”
“Kate? What did that bitch want? Love, whatever she wants, don’t give in! You shouldn’t have answered the call of that s...”
“Okay, Kelly, calm down! Take a deep breath!” Sometimes, Cole regretted he told her what had happened – not because he didn’t trust her, he did, he knew she would always be on your side – but she was very protective of him. No one could hurt and walk away unharmed. Not with Kelly and Mrs. Eva in his life. How could two people who didn’t share their DNA love him more than people who shared the same blood?
“She wanted to tell me that my father is sick, and that he might die any time soon.”
“Okay, good. She has given the message; she doesn’t need to call you anymore.” Wow, that was a little insensitive! Cole loved her with everything he had, too bad she was not a boy.
“It looks like he has a serious a heart condition and he needs my help.”
“Please don’t tell me you’ve accepted?”
“Nope, I hung up and asked her not to call me anymore.”
“Good!” she said a little too loudly “High –five!” she said with her hand held high. Cole laughed and high-fived her, not paying attention to the fact that there were people watching them. Kelly was just so effusive and lovely that all men, and even some women, simply couldn’t look away. Cole preferred anonymity, which was something that seemed impossible now, as either people were attracted by his scarred face or his achievements in his working place.
“But...” He started saying.
“I knew this was too good to be true, you have a heart made of butter! Tell me everything.”
“I took a Hippocrates oath, I wonder if I shouldn’t go there, at least.”
“The truth is that you shouldn’t have anything to do with that man, nor your sister, but you know what? Ask your mother, she will be the best person to advise you.” Cole knew that when she said "your mother", she was actually talking about the one that raised him and not the one that had brought him into the world to leave him with his father and his stepmother. Yes, it was what he also thought, but he also needed to know what Kelly would think of his idea.
“I thought the same thing, and I called her this morning. She told me go and visit him, and give him my professional opinion. And as I know that you love me, I bought two tickets for you to come with me and give me moral support.” He said quickly, getting up so he could escape. He didn’t want to give Kelly time to think about this, and above all, to refuse.
“Cole!” Kelly shouted, but Cole didn’t look back and ran as fast as he could, without looking back, like he was disrespecting the rule of not running inside a hospital.
***
The week began passin quite quickly, and Cole quickly found himself sitting on the plane, about to go to a city he had vowed to never return. He tightened the seat belt without looking to the side. Kelly was still upset with him, and if looks could kill, he would be dead at that time, buried in his yard with some pretty nasty bugs replacing the neighbors.
“I know you're upset about this, but think of it as a road trip!” He tried to sound cheerful, but the trip was already hard enough, without having your best friend pouting for two hours straight.
“Okay, all right, you're right! I know I shouldn’t return, but if I don’t, I feel bad, but think about it. I'm doing it for me and not for them.”
“As long as you remember that you don’t owe them anything, and you won’t let them make feel guilty about this. Promise me. “She demanded.
“I promise I’ll try.” Cole whispered. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, and he was afraid that while he was growing older in age, size and personality, he felt like he was, once again, the young man who was kicked out of the house. Literally.
Though the journey lasted only two hours, it was quite exhaustive; tension and fear made him have a headache. It was just a threat, when he got the call from his sister, but now it was real. He was even more upset when he was leaving the place of landing: there was no one there to get him, not even a driver.
What a terrible first impression, Cole sighed. He could already foresee it was going to be the worst weekend ever. They decided to rent a car, so they could have more f
reedom moving around, and of course, Kelly refused to rent a cheap car.
“If you're gonna come home after so many years, you will need to show up with class, pomp and circumstance.” Translation: a recent red convertible, though she didn’t like drawing so much attention to them. However, she soon forgot the shame, when he stopped the car in front of the main entrance of their family home.
“Wow, I didn’t know your family was part of the American royalty!” Kelly said, loking impressed.
“It’s Scottish, actually.”
“Well, the things I’m finding about you!” Kelly laughed” You keep surprising me every day. Who had all these cars?” Kelly looked again and whistled. “Wow, a Ferrari?! I have never seen one so close. Whose is it?”
“I don’t know, but it must be my brother’s.” Looking at the five cars stopped in front of them, Cole thought about the number of people who would be present to "welcome him."
“Well, come on. It’s not worth getting them to come here, I think there is someone spying on us through the window.” Looking more carefully, Cole noticed that, in fact, there was someone hiding behind the curtains. He couldn’t see who it was, but he looked stupid, standing there. But Cole was a grown man with a great career now. He was there as a doctor, and not as the prodigal son finally coming home.
***
“So, Cole finally came.” Kate said to her sister Anna, after reading the message she received on her mobile phone. “I called her to come and see Father, but he refused. It seems he changed his mind.”
Both were in Kate's house, where Anna had gone to spend the weekend. Kate was still elegant, despite being closer to thirty-seven years, being married to a wealthy heir, which translated into a very expensive toilette, and even after having two children – Amanda and Julian – she was still slender.
Anna didn’t even know how she had reached Cole. Even when she divorced her husband, she was still hoping Byron would return. He knew he wasn’t gay, but Cole had always had a thing for Byron that she didn’t like, or even wanted to understand...But he wasn’t gay, he couldn’t be. He was hers!