by Cameron Hart
“Cum for me, little one,” he whispers. “Show me how much your body wants to be loved like this.”
I throw my head back as my orgasm gradually takes over me, pulsing from my center in waves that reach from my head to the tips of my toes, each one more intense than the last. Roman keeps one hand on my hip as he thrusts up into me, while the other one moves to the back of my head as he swallows my cries in a breath taking kiss. I feel his hand slide to the front of my throat, gently caressing my sensitive skin there as I ride out my orgasm.
He breaks our kiss and rests his forehead on mine, both hands now gripping my thighs as his muscles tense. I lean into him, my lips grazing the shell of his ear.
“Cum for me, Roman,” I whisper. “Fill me up and show me how much you want to love my body like this.”
He grunts and thrusts into me one more time before shooting his release deep inside of me. It sets off another mini orgasm and we roll our hips together, holding on to the pleasure as long as possible.
Roman guides us back down on the bed so we’re on our sides, facing each other. He tucks my hair behind my ears and kisses my forehead, my nose, my eyelids, and finally my lips.
“That was everything, dandelion. Do you feel it?”
“I feel it. I feel you, Roman.”
What I don’t tell him is that I’m about to break his heart and mine. I feel that, too.
His hand cups the back of my neck and he pulls me close so our foreheads are touching. Then, his hand moves to my back, pressing me into his warm, chiseled body. Moving lower, he guides my hips to do the same. Finally, he nudges my leg in between his before ghosting his fingers back up and tracing the lines of my tattoo.
He’s literally gotten us as close as possible.
We fall asleep skin to skin, chest to chest, soul to soul.
Chapter 10
Roman
I feel like I’m losing her. Tonight was everything. Every-fucking-thing. I’ve never felt like that with anyone, never gone that slow, never felt like my goddamn soul left my body to tie itself inseparably to another. I know she felt it too. I still don’t know hardly anything about her past, but it’s like it has a chain around her heart, restraining her from giving it away, even to me.
I lay here with Emma in my arms, as close as we can possibly be. She rolled over a while ago trying to put some distance between us. Yeah, I wasn’t having any of that shit. I pulled her closer to me, even with her back to my front.
She thinks I fell asleep, but I’m wide awake, watching her battle against herself. I feel her tiny body shaking with the effort of keeping her sobs in. I hear her sniffling quietly to herself. It hurts so fucking bad, knowing I can’t make her trust me. I can’t crack open her heart and dig out her secrets and prove to her there’s nothing too dark, nothing too scary, nothing in the whole goddamn world that could keep me from her.
She finally cries herself out and I feel her go limp in my arms as she allows sleep to claim her. I lean down and brush my lips over her shoulder.
“I love you, dandelion,” I whisper into her skin. I know she can’t hear me, but I hope the words sink in anyway.
The next thing I know, my eyes snap open and I wake up with a start. I must have fallen asleep at some point. I see a shadow move towards the door. I see Emma’s silhouette as she bends down to grab her clothes in a sloppy attempt to sneak out on me.
“What the hell, Emma?” I’ve tried to be gentle and understanding all fucking week, but now I’m pissed. I flick on the lamp next to me.
“Roman! Shit, you scared me.” At least she has the decency to look embarrassed.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, um…”
We both know what she’s doing, I just want to hear her say it. I want her to hear how ridiculous it sounds for her to be leaving me like this.
“Look, Roman, we can’t do this anymore.” She won’t look me in the eye.
“Bullshit.”
Emma flinches, tightening her hold on her clothes.
“I’m sorry,” she says after clearing her throat. “I shouldn’t have let things go this far. It’s not you—”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” I yell. “It’s not you, it’s me? You’re going to walk away using some cliché line like that?” I’m trying to keep a reign on my temper, but it’s not going so well.
“I am very fucking serious right now, Roman,” she hisses out. “If you’d listened to me at all these past two weeks, you’d know how serious I am. I’m no good for you.”
“Not really your call to make, Emma.”
Her face is all red and I can tell she’s winding up for a fight.
Good. So am I.
“Why can’t you just let me go? I don’t want to be with you!” She can’t even get the words out without choking on them.
“You’re not fooling anyone, Emma. That’s a fucking lie and you know it. You want me as much as I want you.”
“You can’t possibly know what I want, Roman. Despite your alpha male tendencies, you don’t know me like you think you do.”
“I absolutely know what you want, dandelion. Despite you pushing me away every time shit gets real, I know you. I feel how your body responds to mine. You can’t fake that, Emma.”
“Yeah, my body responds alright. You’re a pretty great fuck. And now you’re out of my system, so it’s time for me to go.”
I shake my head and rub my hand down my face. Is she for fucking real right now?
“Emma, you’re a shit liar. I know what we have is so much more than physical. I know you’re trying to get me to hate you, but I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. That’s never going to happen. I don’t know what’s so big and scary that you can’t just fucking talk to me about it, but I’m not giving up on you. Even if I have to fight like a gladiator in a ring with you, I will get the truth and put you back together.”
“You can’t. Roman, please, you can’t.”
I see her trying to hold herself together but breaking apart all the same. I move towards her, hoping to close the distance between us one step at a time.
“Let me in, Emma,” I say, my voice softer this time.
She furiously shakes her head back and forth, backing up against the wall.
“Trust me, little one. Let me take care of you.” I take another step closer.
She’s trembling now, holding her clothes out in front of her like a shield.
“Come back to me, dandelion.”
She drops her clothes and holds one hand out in front of her in an attempt to keep me away. I step into her hand and guide it to my chest so it’s resting over my heart.
Emma is still shaking her head, not meeting my gaze. My other hand cups the back of her neck, stilling her frantic motion.
“I can’t…I can’t…” she whispers with her eyes squeezed shut.
“You can. Look at me, Emma.”
Her eyes flutter open, locking on mine. They fucking tear into me, finding my soul and ripping it from my body, forcing me to feel her pain, her loss, her torment. I can’t breathe, the weight of her agony like a living thing squeezing the air from my lungs.
I have no fucking clue how my little dandelion has carried around all of this by herself for so long. She’s letting me see a sliver of her soul, and I swear to Christ I’ll do every fucking thing in my power to earn more glimpses, however small and painful they may be.
The hand Emma has on my chest slides up to my neck and she pulls me towards her in slow motion. Our mouths collide. My hands skim down her still naked body, grabbing her hips and pulling her up my torso. She wraps her legs around me as I pin her against the wall with my body. She throws her head back, opening herself up for me to kiss and lick down her neck.
“I know I won’t get all the answers tonight, little one,” I say in between kisses. “But I want to know every goddamn thing about you.” I line my hard cock up with her entrance and rest my forehead on hers. “I want to be inside of you, Emma. And not just like this.�
��
I fill her up in one hard thrust, causing both of us to moan. I rock my hips against her, slowly pulling out and pushing back in. She keeps her forehead pressed against mine the whole time, craving that intimacy.
Soon, I feel her walls flutter around me, her ankles locking behind my back.
“Yes, Roman…” She whispers against my lips. “Please, I need…I need more.”
I snap my hips against hers, pounding into her pussy hard and fast. Sweat beads on our still joined foreheads, dripping down between us. Emma whimpers and I can tell she's close.
One more thrust and she’s shattering in my arms, pulsing and pulling me closer with everything she has in her. Emma can lie all she wants, but her body craves me, needs me, wants me to own it and hold it and cherish every part.
I empty myself deep inside of her and take her lips in a passionate kiss. Emma rests her little head on my shoulder as I carry her back to bed, tucking us in and holding her close.
✽✽✽
I know I’m alone before I even open my eyes. My chest is tight and I have two emotions warring within me. Frustration and hurt. So much hurt. Why can’t she accept us? Why can’t she trust me? I’ve done every fucking thing I could think of to earn her trust, but she won’t let me in.
She's fighting me so fucking hard on this. The thing is, she keeps coming back. She tells me she's no good and that she's trying to protect me, but when she needed comfort, she came to me. Even when she was scared, she let me take her out on a date and make her forget her worries for an evening. She was made for me, and me for her. She can't just leave.
I'll give her some time to come around. I need to blow off some steam as it is. I'm in no mood to talk to her, to try and convince her to come back. I'll just end up yelling at her, and that's not what she needs.
I roll out of bed and get ready for the day. I've been half-assing it at work lately, putting all of my energy towards Emma. But I need to make some effort so I can keep my job and provide for Emma and me when she finally comes around.
My phone rings as I’m just heading out the door.
"Hey, dad, what's up?"
“Roman, it’s your mom.” His tone is frantic.
“What happened? Are you guys okay?”
“She had a massive stroke, son. She’s…she’s not doing well.”
I know it’s bad when my hardened, retired vet of a father breaks down on the phone.
“I’ll be on the next flight, pops. I’ll call when I land in Vermont.”
He doesn’t respond for a second. I hear him sniffle and clear his throat.
“See you soon, son.”
Fuck. I know I need to fly back to my parents. But I hate leaving Emma, especially after she tried to run away from me twice last night. I briefly contemplate going over to her apartment, throwing her over my shoulder, and taking her to Vermont with me, but ultimately decide that would not end well. Though she be but little she is fierce, as it were. We’d fight the whole plane ride there and probably land in Vermont without anything resolved. My parents don’t need that drama.
I settle for sending her a text, knowing she won’t answer my call. Maybe the space from Emma will give me a chance to figure her out and break down those walls of hers once and for all.
Chapter 11
Emma
Goddamn him. Saying all the right things and seeing through my lies and not letting himself hate me or letting me hate him. Why did he have to make everything so much more complicated? We could have ended things on a good note with happy memories. Now he’ll always see me as the woman who fought with him and lied to him and then fucked him and left him.
I hate myself for letting my heart get carried away, but more than that, I hate myself for hurting Roman. Yet, I can’t bring myself to regret meeting him. As fucking selfish as it is, I feel like I can face whatever is going to happen with Craig knowing someone like Roman thought I was worth fighting for.
My alarm goes off, letting me know it’s six and I have to be at work in an hour. Not that I needed the alarm. I didn’t sleep at all after getting back here at three in the morning.
After getting ready, I head out to the kitchen and notice some jeans and shoes that definitely don’t belong to Harper or me. I sneak up to Harper’s bedroom door and listen closely. A smile breaks out on my face when I hear Harper’s tiny snores as well as the timbre of a manlier snore. Good for her. Thank fuck Levi came to his senses. I feel so much better about leaving knowing she’ll have Levi to look after her.
I can hardly concentrate for my shift at the coffee shop, too busy considering my next move. Good thing I have a shit ton to plan and figure out with the whole fucked up situation with Craig to spend too much time being heartbroken over Roman.
Some part of me always knew my past would come back to haunt me and that I couldn’t get by on Harper’s family’s money and connections forever. Which is why I’ve been saving up every penny I could since I got my first job at sixteen. I don’t have a ton of money, but I have enough to start over somewhere new.
When my shift is over, I pull out my phone to see a bunch of missed calls from Harper. I hope she's just excited about patching things up with Levi because I swear to God, I can't handle any more drama right now.
✽✽✽
“I’m so soooo sorry,” Harper says for the hundredth time since I got home.
Apparently, Tracy found out about her and Levi and kicked us out of our apartment, starting at the end of the week. It’s not ideal, to say the least. There’s some other drama going on with Levi, but Harper spares me most of the details. Basically, she’s all alone, and I’m about to leave her too. Fuck my life.
“Harp. Please stop apologizing. It sucks, yeah, but it’s not your fault. At all.”
“But—”
“Nuh-uh. No, ma’am. No more pity party. We’ve got a shit ton of packing to do. And then we’re going to fucking trash this place.” The idea comes to me in a flash, and I love it. Might be my best idea yet.
“What do you mean?” Harper sounds so confused, which only adds to my glee.
“Tracy and Dan are on the lease, and this is all their stuff, right? The dishes, the furniture, yadda, yadda, yadda.”
She nods, allowing me to continue.
“Right. So if we trash it, not only will it be a nice cathartic experience that I think we both need to get over the men in our lives, but it’ll probably put them out a few thousand bucks. Seems like a win-win.”
“Okay, well I’m not ignoring the fact that you have a man in your life you need to get over, but time is of the essence. We’ll have plenty of time to discuss that when we’re living on the streets.”
Well, fuck. Double fuck. Not only did I let it slip that I have a man in my life to get over, but Harper makes an excellent point that I can’t just abandon her right now. But I also can’t stay and potentially put her in harm’s way. She’s taken care of me for so long, in ways she doesn’t even know. Now it’s my turn to take care of her.
“Pish posh. I’ve been saving up these last five years.”
“Pish posh?” She teases, raising an eyebrow at me. God, I’m gonna miss this girl so much.
“Yeah, your eighty-year-old jargon is rubbing off on me, I guess,” I say, rolling my eyes to try and get rid of the sudden tears I feel threatening to break free.
“Anyway,” I continue. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. My mom didn’t teach me much, but I learned not to depend on anyone for anything.” Harper starts to protest, but I plow ahead, needing to talk this out for me as much as for her. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m so grateful for the generosity of your family, even though I hate everyone but you,” I wink. “But I knew this gig was too good to last, ya know? So I’ve been saving away. I have enough for you to get a hotel for the next few days and then put a deposit down on a new place. It for sure won’t be anything as swanky as this, and it might be considered slumming it, but—”
Harper launches herself at me and
practically tackles me in a huge bear hug.
I hug her back, and goddamn it feels good. And painful. Soon we’re both laughing and then crying and then laughing again. She’s the absolute best person I know and I’ll be forever in her debt, in more ways than one.
“Are you sure, Emma? I have some money too. It’s not a lot, but I want to chip in.”
“I’m sure, Harp. You do what you can, I know you’re good for it,” I grin at her, hoping to ease some of her tension.
“So. Pack first and then wreck this place before peacing out to a hotel till we find a new place?”
“Oh, my little Harp. I’m like a proud momma peacock.” I wipe fake tears from my eyes.
“Momma peacock?”
“Don’t sass mommy peacock, Harper. Now let’s get packing so we can trash this joint!”
We spend the rest of the evening packing and joking and talking about the future. Okay, Harper talks about the future. I ask her questions about what she wants to do when she graduates, and where she wants to travel. I want to be able to picture her in her new life and know she’s happy. Maybe I can find her again one day.
“Emma, are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Harper asks. We’ve finished most of the packing and are now strewn out on Harper’s bed with a pizza box between us.
I sigh, trying to figure out how much to tell her.
“You said there was a guy?” She prompts, hoping to get me started.
“Yeah.” I close my eyes, keeping the tears at bay for now. “He was…incredible. I fucked up. I hurt him.”
“And he’s mad at you?”
“That’s the thing. He’s not. He’s too fucking perfect.”
“So… what’s the problem?”
How do I explain to her that I’ll only bring him pain and heartache? That we can’t be together, that he’ll eventually see that I’m more trouble than I’m worth? I suppose I’ll have to tell her I’m leaving too. I’m not ready for this. I don’t think I’ll survive.
Harper takes my hand and squeezes it. She reminds me of why I have to do this. I have to protect her and Roman. I won’t let them get caught up in my shit.