Yesterday Is Gone

by HJ Bellus

  “Yeah, no shit,” Brady adds. “Lenny can’t do that, and he’s a year older than her.”

  I wave him off. “She’s always been curious and soaked everything up at preschool. They moved her up a few classes because she’d get so bored.”

  Jessie relaxes on the table next to me. “It’s not the preschool, Jules; it’s because you’ve done a damn incredible job with her.”

  He rests his hand on the top of my thigh. My gaze darts to Brady and Tessi to measure their reaction. I’m shocked when they don’t blink twice. The warmth from his touch fires me up even more. In a bold move, I reach down and cover his hand with mine. Desire and comfort coat me in a gentle hug. The sensation fills and overwhelms me at the same time.

  Whit jumps up on her feet. “One hundred eighty-five dollars, and Momma, you said nobody would stop.”

  I smile and shake my head. “Luck was on your side, little one.”

  She climbs up into my lap, doing her best to nestle herself between Jessie and me. She’s perched on the arm of the rocking chair after Jessie moved his arm to wrap it around my shoulders.

  “I think it was Grandma’s lemonade and Daddy telling his players they’d better get their a-s-s-es out here.” She hugs the bag of cash to her chest.

  We all erupt in laughter. I kiss the top of her head, taking a moment to inhale the sweet coconut scent of her shampoo.

  “Can’t get anything past you, now can we?” Jessie bends down and kisses her cheek.

  “You kids want to stay for dinner?” Carolyn asks, standing up and brushing off her pants.

  “Yes!” Whit squeals. “Can I help you cook?”

  “Sure can, sweet bug.” She smiles gently. “Brady, Tessi, have you eaten? Have some ribs ready to grill up.”

  “We haven’t. Had planned on a date night until we got the 911 text from Jessie,” Tessi announces.

  “Even had a babysitter. You owe me, man,” Brady growls.

  “How about I get you all fed then you can go out?”

  “We’d love that, Carolyn. Thank you.” Tessi smacks Brady’s chest.

  Whit hops off my lap and freezes before following her grandma into the front door.

  “Two things.” She holds up two fingers, keeping her bag clutched to her chest with her other hand. “I’m gonna buy a puppy with this money, and Daddy, will you do the talent show with me that your players were talking about?”

  I clear my throat, nearly falling out of the rocker. She’s been begging for a puppy for almost a year now. It was never an option in California since where we lived didn’t allow pets. Not to mention the fact I haven’t had the time to take care of an extra body.

  “Whit,” I warn her. “You know we’ve discussed this.”

  She tilts her head, determination sparking in her rich brown eyes. “But we now can have dogs where we live, and I’ll buy everything and take care of it every second.”

  “We will talk about it.” I lean back in my chair, deciding to go with a pacifying comment instead of an outright battle after such a beautiful day and in front of friends and family.

  “Yes, I get one.” She punches the air.

  Oh, the joys of reasoning with a five year old. It’s a losing battle that has the power to irritate the hell out of you.

  “And Daddy, will you dance with me at the local talent show?” She taps her temple. “I think it’s on August something.”

  Jessie grimaces. The look on his face is downright comical. I bite my lip to stifle the laughter threatening to burst out. The ball is in his court, and I know there’s no way in hell he’ll tell his little girl no. And there’s also the fact dancing in a talent show is the last thing he’d ever want to do.

  “Yeah, we’ll look into it.” He nods.

  With all of Whit’s concerns appeased, she marches in the house, following her grandma. Once the screen door slams shut and Whit’s chatter fades off, Brady busts a gut.

  “Dude, that little girl has you wrapped around her pinky finger. Never thought I’d see the day that brooding, grumpy-ass Jessie would be a big ol’ softy.”

  Tessi slaps him in the chest again. “Take it easy on him.”

  I grab the drink from Jessie’s hand, sipping on it and loving the taste of the whiskey. It’s just the right mix.

  “And it’s going to be a hard no on the dog,” I say over the brim of the cup.

  “She’s right, though,” Jessie adds, standing up and stretching.

  “Don’t you dare!” I point at him.

  “Her points were very valid.” He grins down at me. “Anyone else want another drink?”

  “Jessie, I mean it,” I scold.

  His chuckle echoes on the porch, and I know I’m screwed in the dog war. I have no backup.

  Chapter 16

  Jessie

  Fuck yes. A puppy would be the perfect fixture in hopes of keeping my girls here in Boone.

  “Be good and no more s’mores, baby girl.” Jules leans down and kisses Whit’s forehead.

  I do the same, then ruffle Whit’s hair before we leave the backyard. Brady and Tessi hop in their truck. Jules and I do the same thing, hopping in mine. There’s an awkward moment of silence once we are both settled in. I fire up the engine, wanting nothing more than to snag Jules’ thigh and drag her over to me. I grip the steering wheel, keeping my hands in a safe zone.

  I pop the truck into reverse, peering over my shoulder, easing it out on the dirt road. I hear then feel the movement of Jules sliding right over to the center. Her body presses against mine. I take a moment to control my breathing before facing the road.

  I drop my arm to the top of her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping to convey my gratitude for whatever she’s giving me.

  I clear my throat before speaking. “You do know between our two moms that Whit will more than likely eat at least five more s’mores.”

  Jules groans. “I know.”

  Jane joined us for dinner along with my dad. We all enjoyed some great laughs and even better food. It was Brady’s idea to head out to Cody’s bar. Jules and I never stood a chance to turn down the offer. My parents practically shoved me out the door, and Jane did the same thing to Jules. They had no problem doting on Whit.

  “Was that hard?” I ask, turning onto the paved road. “Leaving her.”

  I catch the motion out of the corner of my eye of her shaking her head. “No, not at all, actually. It’s weird because I only left Whit with my best friend, Lydia, back in California, and I could probably count the times on one hand. It’s just a new feeling, you know.”

  “I can’t imagine.” I squeeze her thigh. “Damn proud of you. I know it can’t be easy with all of this new stuff.”

  She laces her hand in mine. Years ago, it was her favorite thing to do. You’d find Jules clutched to my hand wherever we were. It takes me back. Damn, it feels freaking amazing, and it’s the one thing I’m choosing to focus on.

  “Thank you, Jessie.” She leans her head on my shoulder. “That was pretty amazing what you did with your player, Max.”

  “Yeah, he has a shit life, and the team hasn’t been so nice to him. Takes everything for me not to knock them on their asses, but it wouldn’t do a damn thing for him. He has to find his way.” I pull the truck to a stop at a sign and peer down at her. “Thank you for extending that offer for him. Not much has changed in this small, judgmental town. He’d be one hell of a farm hand, but no one wanted to hire him because of his mom and his last name.”

  “Papa would’ve in a heartbeat,” she whispers.

  “Yes, he would’ve and guarantee you he’s smiling from up there for what you did with him.”

  We make the rest of the drive to Cody’s bar in the neighboring town in silence. It’s neither uncomfortable nor deafening with fear. It’s a new promise of the future that makes us high as hell on life.

  When I pull into the bar’s parking lot, it’s packed as usual. The feeling of exhilaration is threatening to deflate. There will be prying stares. The thing
about Cody’s bar is that everyone from surrounding towns claims it as their watering hole. It’s just one more obstacle I’ll have to overcome because of my choices from years past and one I’ll face head-on with no doubt.

  “Jessie.” Jules’ voice drifts in the cab once I find a parking spot and kill the engine.

  “Yeah.” I shift in my seat to face her.

  She fiddles with her fingers on the hem of her shorts. She’s nibbling on her bottom lip, avoiding eye contact. I have no idea what she’s about to drop on me, but I’m confident she’s nervous as hell about it.

  I grab her hands, holding them in one of mine, then tilt her chin up to me with my pointer finger. “Say it, baby.”

  Her eyelids flutter shut. “If you want to pick me up out of my seat tonight and then set me in your lap, I wouldn’t mind.”

  Her chest heaves with each word, and no doubt in my mind might be the hardest thing she’s ever had to say to me. I lean down and kiss her forehead, not saying another word before I open the door to my truck. I slide out, keeping hold of her hand and tugging her to the edge of the seat.

  I face her until her legs dangle on my side. My arms go on automatic, wrapping around her ass, bringing her closer to me. Jules gasps, planting her hands on the tops of my shoulders.

  “Remember this?” I ask, crooking my head.

  “Yes.” Jules drops her head to mine. “Same truck, too.”

  “Could never sell it. Too many damn memories live in it, and I hoped like hell one day your scent would be back in it.”

  “And we’re here,” she whispers.

  “Remember the day old Pence chased us out of the parking lot after school when she caught us nearly rounding third base in this position?”

  Jules throws her head back, barking out a loud bout of laughter. “Oh my God, that was horrible and so damn embarrassing. Both of our parents were waiting for us on the porch by the time we got home.”

  I shake my head. “I still can’t look that old bat in the eyes. She still makes me feel like that teenage boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.”

  Jules’ arms go from my shoulders to wrap around my neck, and she sinks down on the seat until we are chest to chest. “I’m scared, and it’s not about loving you but about everyone else and their stares and judgement. We’ve done okay so far protecting Whit from it, but you know it’s coming.”

  “That’s on me. Do you hear me?” I reach up and grip the back of her neck, bringing her lips to mine. Each word I speak is imprinted on her mouth. “It’s because of what I did, and that’s the shit I’ll own to the world. Nobody, not even the goddamn mayor, will judge you or Whit. One word comes from a mouth, and their ass is mine. That’s a fucking promise I’ll never break.”

  “We are really doing this, aren’t we?” she whispers into my lips.

  “I’m all in, baby. It’s your move.”

  Not another word is exchanged as she slides down to the ground and grabs my hand in hers. We walk hand in hand into the bar, and just as expected, the music is blaring and the temperature in the bar is excruciating. The garage door is open, doing its best to let in the fresh air of the evening. Brady and Tessi wave us down from a corner booth.

  I jerk my head toward them as I weave through the droves of patrons. Jules keeps her hand clutched in mine with her other hand pressed low on my back. I may walk a bit slower than normal, loving the hell out of the feeling.

  Cody has a leg hitched up on a chair with his infamous bar rag dangling out of his back pocket. He’s in his signature black boots, white wife beater, and worn jeans. He follows Tessi’s line of vision when we approach behind him.

  “Well, som’bitch,” Cody hollers out, pushes me out of the way, and wraps up Jules. “My girl came back for another taste of Cody.”

  I grab Jules by the waist, snarling at Cody. It only fuels his fire. He tosses his head back, howling in laughter. It’s Cody’s gig, and that’s to get under everyone’s skin as much as possible.

  “Well, well, it seems things have changed since your last visit, Jules.” He hitches his leg back up on the chair.

  Jules relaxes back into my chest. My arms go on automatic, wrapping her up, resting my thumbs right above the button on her jeans. My dick kicks in protest against my zipper. Not sure if it’s intentional or not, but Jules presses back on me.

  “What’s it to you?” Jules fires back.

  Cody shakes his head. “Damn, and here I thought I had a chance even if it was a one-night stand.”

  I reach forward with one hand and thump him in the chest. “You’re an asshole.”

  Cody goes on and on, laughing his ass off until his name is called out from the bar.

  “I'll be right back over with your drinks. They’re on the house tonight.”

  “No tequila,” Jules hollers after him.

  Cody doesn’t stop his stride. He only raises an arm, shaking off the suggestion. Then he’s distracted by a hot piece of ass. The man can’t help himself and swats it and then kisses her on the cheek.

  “He really hasn’t changed, has he?” Jules asks, taking a seat.

  “Not a bit,” I answer. “If anything, he may be getting worse.”

  “Yeah, he’s declining back to a twelve-year-old boy who just learned about boners.” Brady slaps the table. “Bastard better get our drinks over here and quick.”

  “I’ll go make sure he stays focused.” I bend down and kiss the top of Jules’ head before weaving back through the crowd.

  I hear my name shouted out several times on the way to the bar. We’d never get our drinks with how fucking packed this place is tonight. At this damn rate, Cody will be richer than any of us. The boy is making bank and couldn’t be prouder of him. He notices me when I saddle up to the end of the bar. He gives me a jerk of the chin, letting me know he’s making our drinks.

  I do my best to keep my gaze focused on the worn surface of the bar top. Cody’s Shaggin’ Shack is burned into the wood with his infamous motto in smaller font below it: “Drink, Laugh, and Fuck.”

  “Jessie.”

  On instinct, I jerk up my head when I hear my name. It takes me three seconds to make eye contact with Shayna. She wasn’t the one to call my name. No, it was the group of women surrounding her. The glass tumbler of whiskey perched on her lips instantly slams down on the bar. Her hand shakes as she grabs a bottle of water.

  I grimace then do my best to cover it up. She’d been blowing up my phone so damn bad I was forced to block her number. She quit showing up at my house a few days ago. The crazy-ass woman would be sitting on my porch steps; who knows for how damn long at that? I’ve told her over and over how it’s going to be. And she damn well knew we were on a rocky road before Jules showed back up in town.

  A week before Jules returned, Shayna even admitted she knew I didn’t love her and never would and that would be just fine with her. She’d deal with it, and all she wanted was a big diamond ring on her hand and my last name to sport around. She was even as blunt to tell me she wanted all of that by the time my team won the state title for the fourth time.

  I drop my head and shake it back and forth, sick and pissed off at myself for settling for something like that. I was far off from marrying her, that’s for damn sure, but doesn’t make me any kind of respectable man to stay in an uncomfortable relationship.

  “Here. Get the hell out of here before the bitch attacks.” Cody slides across a tray filled with drinks. “You know I never did like that bitch.”

  I nod. “Yeah, I know. None of my friends did. Hey, what’s this shit?”

  I point to two large pitchers on the center of the tray.

  “A Pussy Pleaser for my girl, Jules.” He folds his arms over his chest with a crooked grin on his face.

  “Idiot.” I shake my head.

  “She didn’t tell you I pleased the hell out of her pussy the last time she was here.” This time he cracks a mile-wide smile.

  If there weren’t a fifth of Jack Daniels on the tray, I’d reach o
ver and smack him upside the head.

  “Put it on my tab.” I grab the tray and back quickly away from the bar.

  That gains a hearty chuckle out of him. Brady and I both pay up our tabs every six months. Cody never keeps track, and hell, neither do we. We both end up hefting over around five hundred dollars. Who knows if it even comes close?

  It’s trickier than shit making it back to our table. The last shred of my patience frays when the fifth stumbling, drunk asshole knocks into my shoulder and some Pussy Pleaser splashes on my shirt.

  “About damn time,” Brady barks out.

  “Don’t even,” I warn, gently putting the tray on the table. “That was fucking hell.”

  I pinch my shirt and pull it out, waving it in hopes it will dry. Sure as shit will stain with the vibrant red hue of the drink.

  “Drinks!” Tessi claps her hands together, bouncing up and down in her seat. She could care less about my sour mood right now.

  “You okay?” Jules asks, peering up at me.

  I am now, I think to myself. My shoulders relax, and I remember why I’m here. Everything falls into place again. I wink down at her. She doesn’t have a chance to react when I bend down to scoop her up in my arms and take her seat. I whirl her around in a quick motion, so she’s sitting on my lap.

  “Jessie,” she squeals, keeping her arms wrapped around my neck until we settle in.

  “Yeah,” I murmur into her ear, wrapping my arms around her waist.

  Fuck, I’d give anything to have her facing me, her luscious tits pressed into my chest and hot center lined up with my throbbing dick.

  “Thank you,” she whispers into my lips, letting them linger on mine. I wouldn’t consider it quite a kiss, but it was something. And if that’s all I get from this woman for the rest of my life, I’ll drink it up.

  “Pussy Pleasers,” Tessi shouts over the thrumming music, catching all of our attention.

  “Hey, don’t drink it all.” Jules adjusts herself in my lap, so she’s facing the table and has one arm slung over my neck.

  Brady goes about the task of pouring drinks for the girls then mixing a stiff drink for us. Jules grabs her glass then waits for the rest of us to follow suit. Brady goes to tip his back and is stopped when Jules shouts at him.