Yesterday Is Gone

by HJ Bellus

“I want you so bad.” He pushes his center into mine.

  “I want you, too.”

  “You’re drunk, and I’m not quite sober,” he murmurs into my lips. “And this is something we both need to remember every second of.”

  “And your parents, my nana, and our daughter,” I add.

  Our smiles press into each other, and then we both stifle our laughter.

  “Just like back in high school,” I whisper.

  “It’s better, Jules, so much fucking better. I’ll never be able to explain it.”

  “Then show me.” I press upon his shoulders.

  Jessie picks up on my meaning, gliding right down my body. He growls when his nose glides along my panties. My hips buck up, wanting more. He takes his time taunting and teasing me until I’m dripping wet.

  “Jessie,” I moan, reaching down and gripping a fistful of his hair in my hand. “Please.”

  “Please what, baby?” he growls against my core. The vibrations race right up my spine, exploding behind my eyelids.

  “Please, please, please,” I chant, unable to get the rest out.

  “Tell me,” he growls again.

  His gentle touch threatens to send me over the edge. It’s been so many years since I’ve been touched.

  “Make me feel you, Jessie, please.”

  With those simple words, my panties are pulled down my legs, the harsh material of the lace scraping my sensitive skin. It adds to the turmoil of lust, longing, and want brewing inside of me.

  Jessie dips his head back down between my legs. His scruff borders on a full beard, adding to the sensation. I’m dripping wet, and Jessie wastes no time lapping it up, teasing my folds with his talented tongue. My hips beg for more, pushing up into his face as I continue to pull down on his hair.

  His fingers join the seductive dance, and I’m gone. First one then two with his tongue swirling my bud and I lose all sense of control. Jessie reaches up with a free hand to cover my mouth when my cries begin to build up. He’s relentless with his tongue, not giving me a second to process anything that’s happening. All I know is my body is on a high that I never want to leave.

  The build-up low in my core develops to a point where combustion is the only option. I dig my fingers into his hair and bite down on his hand as stars burst behind my eyelids. I’m throttled over the edge of a cliff, free-falling. It continues on and on until my body is exhausted and melts back into the bed.

  I feel my panties glide back up my legs, and then Jessie body is on mine again. I’m in the process of catching my breath when his lips crash down on mine. He’s aggressive, kissing the hell out of me and sharing my taste with me. I match his action move for move. His throbbing cock glides up my folds, taunting me and leaving me wanting more of Jessie. Screw being drunk and the fact our family surrounds us in this house.

  “Jessie.” I break the kiss. “Give me your cock. I need to taste you.”

  He drops his head down in the crook of my neck. His scruff tickles every inch of skin.

  “No, baby, I want to end the night on a perfect note. And that was fucking perfection,” he growls then maneuvers us until my head lies on the pillow with his body holding mine.

  “Jessie,” I whimper into his chest.

  “Not tonight. Like I said, that was perfection. Go to sleep, baby girl. We have all of our tomorrows.” His hand runs up and down my spine.

  I open my mouth to speak. I’m distracted as the hypnotic, soothing action lulls me to sleep. All I can think of is the word…tomorrows.

  “Jules,” Jessie whispers.

  I’m dangerously bordering sleep and can’t answer.

  “Since you’ve come home,” he continues in a hushed voice, “I’ve prayed every fucking night that you’ll stay. I have no idea what is waiting for you back in California and have no right to ask. I’m a selfish bastard. But yet I pray every single night that you’ll choose Boone and me. I have to have my girls. I have to.”

  Chapter 18

  Jessie

  “There you guys are!” A door slams open.

  I pry open my eyes just in time to catch nipple and then feel Whit climbing up my backside. I tuck Jules’ exposed tit in her shirt, hoping like hell it stays contained. I didn’t even realize last night that I had given her one I cut up for practice. I roll on my back, beginning to stretch my arms over my head.

  “Daddy!” Whit bounces on the end of the bed. She freezes when she sees her momma curled up next to me. Her face doesn’t give me any clues on what she’s thinking. She nibbles on her bottom lip just like her momma does.

  “Whit, you okay?” I ask, bunching blankets up on the tent residing between my legs. That’s the last topic of conversation I ever want to have with my daughter.

  She points at her mom then back to me then to her. “Does this mean you guys are getting married and I get the pony?” She slaps her mouth with her tiny palms.

  “Whit,” Jules groans, opening her eyes.

  I know damn well she can’t be feeling like a champion this morning.

  “We aren’t getting married. Come here.” She pats the bed between us.

  Whit tiptoes up between the middle of us, twirls with her arms poised above her head, and gracefully plops down, nestling between us.

  Jules winces, and there’s no doubt she’s battling a gnarly headache. Hell, I have one drumming a wicked beat in my skull right now.

  “Whit, baby.” I pat the top of her leg. “Your momma and I…”

  I have nothing. No words come that could even begin to explain our situation. I can’t even get it clear in my head, so there’s no way in hell I could start to explain it to a little girl.

  “Whit.” Jules scoots her closer to her. “Your daddy and I knew each other a long time ago.”

  She nods. “Yep, you told me that, and Nana told me you guys were high school sweethearts, first loves, and did naughty things.”

  “Of course she did,” Jules mutter. “Anyway, life took us apart, as we’ve explained to you.”

  Jules explained to me that she’s had to reassure Whit over and over again about the new presence in her life. It’s like a dream my girl wants to believe but is uncertain.

  “Mom and Dad are going to try this. And do you know why?” Jules stokes a stray curl of Whit’s hair.

  “Because you want to buy me a pony?” She clutches her hands in front of her chest.

  I can’t help it. This is as serious of a conversation we will ever have, and my little girl has me throwing back my head and laughing my ass off.

  “No pony and you’ve got to drop that. It’s because of you, Whit. You’ve brought our love back to life. It’s always been there. Life took us on different paths, but we found our way back. Because of you.”

  Even with the crushing news about the pony, Whit nods her head as if she’s digesting each word and understanding all of it. Silence pierces between the two of us. I open my mouth to speak but again have nothing.

  “This is going to be very new and different for all of us, okay, baby girl?” Jules tugs Whit to her side. “It’s going to be very important that we communicate and talk when we are feeling weird or something is bothering us.”

  “Okay, Mommy.”

  I slink back in the bed, rubbing Whit’s back. “Your mom is right, sweetie. You can talk to me or your mom, Nana, and even Grandma and Grandpa, okay?”

  She nods again. “If I had a puppy, I could talk to it when I was sad.”

  Jules groans. Before she has a chance to respond, my mom’s voice rings up and down the hallway.

  “Whit, want to help make breakfast?”

  We both dodge out of the way as she rockets off the bed. “Do you have bacon, Grandma?”

  Whit’s voice ricochets off the walls, and I even wince.

  “Sure do.” Mom opens the door, sticking her head in. I don’t miss the glorious smile covering her face. She more than anyone pushed me to try harder to find Jules. She always knew Jules was my one and true love.

  “I
’m in.” Whit grabs my mom’s hand, and they disappear.

  “I swear,” Jules groans, throwing her arm over her eyes. “That girl tests me every single day, and I’m never ever going to Cody’s bar again.”

  I shake my head, caging in the roar of laughter. “I’m guessing you said that last time too, and it didn’t stop you.”

  “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me, Jessie.” Jules rolls to her side, propping her head on my chest and then roaming her hand up and down my abdomen. “And I blame all of Whit’s damn persistence on you. That girl gets something in her head, and she never lets go.”

  “I don’t do that.” I grab her ass, bringing her closer to me.

  “Liar. Remember the time you begged your parents for two weeks to go camping with a bunch of friends over spring break? Or what about the time you advocated and worked your ass off to buy that damn truck of yours?”

  I shrug. “We know what we want.”

  “You could say that again,” she murmurs.

  “You forgot one thing.”

  “What’s that?” She pops her head up off my chest with pain coating all of her features.

  “You. I’ll never surrender out of this battle.”

  Pots and pans commence banging and rattling down in the kitchen. Soon Johnny Cash, Mom’s favorite singer, begins blaring.

  “Shoot me now, please.” Jules hides her face in my chest.

  “C’mon, let’s get you a hot shower and then I have a pretty damn good hangover cure.”

  “I’m not getting up,” she whines.

  I don’t argue. Instead, I roll up and off the bed. Jules buries her face in the mattress. I head into the bathroom of the room that used to be mine back in the day, firing up the shower, then I begin the task of dragging Jules out of the bed. She bats away my hands, fighting my every move. I revert to the fireman’s hold, tossing her cute little ass over my shoulder. When she groans, I realize how wrong the decision is and the likelihood of my back being coated in vomit.

  I’m way more careful as I settle her on the counter. Jules continues to swat my hands away. I bite down on my bottom lip as I pull off my t-shirt from her slender torso then work down her panties. Using the pad of my finger, I wipe away the smear of mascara lingering under eyes.

  “Join me.” She grabs my hand.

  It’s not a question, and I don’t have to think twice about it. I leave her sitting on the counter, striding to the door to close it and lock it. Then my boxers come down. Steam billows out the top of the shower, the sound of the water pelting the shower floor serenading us.

  “First thing.” I eat up the distance between us, staring straight at her soul.

  I sink down to my knees, spreading her legs, craving her sweet honey taste again. I could’ve devoured her all night long. When the first taste of her sweet juices danced along my tongue, I was a goner. Nearly busted a nut in my boxers. Hell, I wouldn’t have even been ashamed, either.

  “Jessie,” she gasps when my tongue glides between her folds. Her fingers twist and turn through my hair, pulling me closer to her. “God.”

  My fingertips dig into the sides of her ass, pulling her into me. This time I play her like a fiddle with my tongue sucking, nipping, and swirling until she’s falling apart on my lips. I don’t stop until all of her juices are lapped up.

  “The water is going to get cold,” I say, rising to my feet.

  I have her in my arms and opening the shower door before she can say a word. The water has already turned warm. I don’t let go of Jules until her feet hit the bottom of the shower. I fill my palm with a handful of Irish Spring body wash.

  Jules tilts her head back, letting the water rain down on her. Her nipples point my direction, and I can’t help myself. Ducking my head, the water streaming down my back, I swirl my tongue around her nipple, then I sink my teeth into the peaked bud.

  Jules’ moans fuel me on to pay her other nipple the same amount of attention.

  “God, I love that smell,” she whimpers. “I’ve kept a bar of Irish Spring hidden in my bathroom back in California.”

  Jesus, our love is so painful and raw. The power and velocity of it are enough to knock me on my ass. I ground myself in all things Jules and my future, gliding my palms up and down her sides until suds build up. I roam every inch of her body, spending extra time between her legs.

  “My turn.” Jules pushes on my chest, standing under the water and waiting until all the suds disappear down the drain.

  I fill my palm with another generous amount of Irish Spring. Jules clutches my wrist as she sinks down to her knees. I can only watch in amazement. I open my mouth to stop her, but she’s quicker, wrapping her hand around the base of my throbbing cock. Her lips hover over the head. A hissing sound comes from me as she glides her palm up and down my shaft. Jules darts her tongue out, swirling the head of my cock, licking up all the droplets of pre-cum glistening on the tip.

  Then I nearly black out, unable to stare down at her any longer. I toss my head back, clenching my eyes shut, focusing on the radical sensation of Jules’ hand and tongue working in unison. Teeth, lips, fast jerks, tender jerks, and then she cups my balls. My spine stiffens. A tingling sensation races up and down the backs of my legs.

  “Baby,” I grit out. “Gonna…”

  I’m unable to get the rest of my warning out before I’m jetting in her mouth. My head spins, and lightning strikes behind my eyelids. When I peer down at her, I’m still spilling into her mouth.

  “Fuck, Jules, so damn good,” I groan, releasing the remaining remnants of my cum.

  She licks the underside of my dick before popping off of it. Shudders roll up and down my body as she rises to her feet. My hands wrap around her, pulling her to me.

  “Baby,” I mumble into her lips. “I’ve never in my life cum that fucking hard. Jesus, Jules, you’re going to be the death of me.”

  She pats my chest then roams her hands up, running her fingers through my growing beard. “Good, just the way I want it.”

  My cock kicks hard between us. There’s no doubt in my mind that I could bend her over and have her five more times, but I’d only be half satisfied.

  “I love you, Jules.” I squeeze her ass in my hands. “I’ve never stopped, not one single day.”

  “We’re doing this, Jessie. We are really doing this.”

  I don’t miss the fact she didn’t return the words. I’m okay with that. It’s written all over her face. A shred of fear still lingers between us, and it will be my job to snap that and make it disappear forever.

  “Welcome home, baby.” I smile against her lips.

  She grins right back. “I’m staying here. I won’t be going back to California.”

  It’s an announcement and one I’ve been dying to hear escape from her lips. It’s better than any I love you’s she could say.

  “Thank you,” I whisper. “We better get downstairs before we have visitors again.”

  She nods. I reach over and turn off the shower. I dry her off then swat her ass, ushering her out in the bedroom as I dry myself off. Jules is dressed in her outfit from last night by the time I slip into my shorts.

  “Never thought I’d be doing a walk of shame at this age and in front of Nana and my daughter.” Jules glances at me over her shoulder.

  “We never have followed the rules, baby.” I walk up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She relaxes back into my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. We soak in the moments of silence and us.

  It’s cut short when we hear our names being hollered out from downstairs. I grab Jules’ hand and lead her down. She tries to tug it away on instinct when we enter Mom’s kitchen. I keep it clutched firmly in mine. A tinge of anger flares up deep down over her reaction.

  ***

  Jules

  Jessie’s jaw ticks. I don’t miss the sideways glare he shoots at me. I sink in my soul, feeling guilt. It’s going to take time to adjust to all of this. I’ve spent the last years guarding my heart an
d raising my baby girl. My heart and body are all in. With just one taste of Jessie, I’ll never be able to get enough. The rest will take time to learn to live again.

  I exhale, and my shoulders relax. With that movement, I sink closer to Jessie’s side, squeezing his hand in a move of reassurance.

  “Momma!” Whit waves a spatula, sending pancake batter over the cupboards. Carolyn’s house hasn’t changed a bit. The same ceramic roosters perch on every surface along with the worn Formica countertops. I’ve stepped back in time, causing my head to spin with confusion.

  “We made pancakes,” Whit announces, her eyes going wide. “And some even have chocolate chips in them.”

  That sweet voice, innocent love of life, and round angelic face grounds me, reminding me of everything worth fighting for. Her happiness is my everything. I lean in and perch up on my tiptoes, kissing Jessie on the cheek before walking to Whit.

  “Looks amazing.” I hug her tight, ignoring the gooey pancake batter covering her front. “Let’s get washed up and make you a plate.”

  Whit jumps down from the dark oak dining room table chair and slides it over to the sink. I help her adjust the temperature of the water and squirt some hand soap in her open palms.

  “Nana, tell Daddy about our costumes,” Whit hollers.

  I cringe from an electric pain shooting through my skull. A hand lands on my hip, and a bottle of water and pills are before me.

  “Take this, baby.”

  I turn to see Jessie with a puzzled look on his face, no doubt from Whit’s announcement. I snag the pills from his hand and down them. I know exactly what my strong-willed and determined daughter is talking about.

  I shut off the water, hand Whit a paper towel, and help her from the chair. I turn to see Nana sitting at the table in the same clothes from the night before. We sure are quite the pair. She sports a mischievous look on her face. I go to her and kiss the top of her head before taking a seat.

  Jessie clears his throat, urging her on.

  “Well, we got you and Whit signed up for the local talent show. After you two left last night, Whit picked out a song, designed the dance, and we…” She pauses to point at Carolyn, incriminating her as well. “…helped Whit order costumes online.”