books/writings about, 8
and college years, 216, 217, 221
and eating disorders, 267
and fat, 177
and father-daughter relationship, 69
and sex, 108, 114
and spirituality, 250, 255, 267
and sports, 260
indulge-and-deprive patterns, 60, 61, 62
intelligence, 8, 216, 243, 255-59, 260, 264
intergenerational interactions, 241-43
ipecac, 74, 74n
Jane, 2, 232-33, 238-39, 246-47
Janet, 174
Japan, 10-11
Jen
Adderall addiction of, 116-18
casual hookups of, 110-11
childhood and youth of, 98-103
college years of, 107-9, 113-16
eating disorders of, 2, 3, 109-10, 113-18
Jack’s relationship with, 116-18
journal of, 118
at Katie’s wedding, 119, 120
as perfect girl, 103
rape of, 111-12, 113
reflections of, 119
self-image of, 104
and sex, 98-104, 105-6, 107-12, 113-16
Johnson, Craig, 192, 202-3
Joplin, Janis, 36, 124
Jost, Stephan, 214
Kelly, Joe, 63
Kelly, R., 139
Kilbourne, Jean, 9, 126, 223
Kimberly, 199-202
Knapp, Caroline, 8, 98, 217, 217n, 281
Kramenetz, Anya, 140
Krissik, Keri, 212
“lad mags,” 146-47, 150
Lady Sovereign, 138, 138n
Latina women, 29. See also race/ethnicity
laxatives, 24, 29, 129
LeSac, Charles, 26
Levy, Ariel, 105, 105n, 141
“liked men better,” women who, 49
liposuction, 2, 29, 113, 131, 246, 247, 248
Lohan, Lindsay, 6, 123, 126
love, 56, 72, 165-66, 176, 226-27, 255, 266, 269, 278, 286
Love, Monie, 138, 139
MacFarlane, Seth, 160
machismo, culture of, 135
McPhee, Katharine, 124
magazines/journals, 39, 118, 146-47, 150, 194, 208, 260
Maine, Margo, 72, 147, 203, 212
maleness, image of, 61
Manhattan teenagers, Martin’s discussions with, 81-82, 83, 85-87, 89, 91, 92, 93-95, 97
Margolis, Cindy, 153
Mariana, and hip-hop, 134-38, 140
Marone, Nicky, 65
Martin, Chris (brother), 17, 38, 40, 49, 127, 155, 195-96, 231
Martin, Courtney
admission of imperfection by, 268
appearance of, 49-50
aspirations/goals of, 41-42, 43, 45, 232
beginnings for, 286-88
birth of, 38
black hole of, 195
childhood and youth of, 11, 33, 34, 36-38, 40-45, 49-50, 59, 90, 142, 148-49
college years of, 115, 209, 210-11, 214-19, 224-25, 242
and competition among
teenagers, 90
family background of, 16, 17
father’s relationship with, 4, 57, 58-59, 63, 65-67
first period of, 65-66
mother’s relationship with, 4, 38, 40, 41-42, 49-50, 53, 57
new story for, 276, 286-88
return to Barnard by, 227-29
and sex, 102
and sports, 190-91, 193-97, 201-4, 206, 209
“truth talks” of, 85
Martin, Jere Elizabeth (mother)
activities of, 4, 17, 37-38, 41
appearance of, 48, 49-50, 52-53
aspirations of, 36, 41-42
childhood and youth of, 35-36
Courtney’s relationship with, 4, 38, 40, 41-42, 49-50, 54, 57
family background of, 35
and father-daughter
relationship, 66-67
as feminist, 4, 36, 37-38, 40, 42, 45, 54, 77, 80
as “good girl,” 34, 35-38, 40
health of, 41, 50
mother’s relationship with, 4, 36, 38, 48-50, 52-53
and music, 132-33
parenting by, 38, 39
and perfection, 42
as role model, 4
self-image of, 48
sex education of, 102
and spirituality, 269
as superwoman, 41, 50
and Woodman lecture, 77, 78
Martin, Ron (father)
and appearance of wife, 48
aspirations of, 36-37
and aspirations of children, 231
Courtney’s relationship with, 39, 57, 58-59, 63, 65-67
and feminism, 4, 37, 42-43
profession of, 17, 38
and sports, 190
and wife as “good girl,” 36
youth of, 131
masturbation, 106, 110
Maudsley, 277
Maxim magazine, 146, 150, 194
MCs, 133, 135, 138
mean girls, 83-86, 87, 89
media
and attractiveness, 146-47, 150, 151
and eating, 110
and fat, 185
and history of eating disorders, 29
influence of, 12, 92, 153
and new stories, 275, 285
and obsessions as only
dangerous when lethal, 24-25
and obsession with thinness, 8, 9
and prevalence of perfectionism, 29
and sex, 98, 106
and spirituality, 251
and sports, 194
media-literacy fatigue, 125-27
Medina, Benny, 123
Medusa, 138
men. See boys/men
Men’s Health magazine, 146-47
Mensinger, Janell Lynn, 28, 176-77
menstruation, 23, 65-66, 68, 101, 183, 192, 199, 208
mentors/guides, 4, 241-45, 284
Meronek, Paula, 122
mind, and sex, 109, 110-13
Mirasol, 200
money, 41, 140-43, 155, 245, 248, 277. See also socioeconomic class
Morford, Mark, 253
Moss, Kate, 127, 285
mothers
blame on, 56, 175-76
and body as holy war, 264
books/writings about relationships with, 8
and characteristics of perfect girls, 17, 18
and competition among
teenagers, 88
conflict between views of
fathers and, 78
eating disorders of, 35, 47-48
and fantasies about fat, 180
and father-daughter
relationships, 66-67
fear of becoming like, 50
and feminism, 35, 38-40
as “good girls,” 5, 40, 55
as hating own bodies, 45-46
influence of, 9, 12, 56, 252-53, 268
interpreting bodies of, 48-53
and legacy of feminism, 43-53
and new stories, 274
and perfect-girl talk among teenagers, 95-96
and prevalence of eating disorders, 29
rejection of, 77-78
responsibilities of, 232
as role models, 44, 45-46, 47, 48, 55, 76, 78, 231-32
and self-talk about fat, 178, 179
and sex, 101-2, 105
and spirituality, 268
and sports, 202-3
stress of, 50-51
as superwomen, 39, 50, 76
See also parenting; parents
MTV, 12, 121, 129, 146, 251
Muir, John, 1
music, 131-38, 146. See also hip-hop; rap
Myers, Michael, 177
Nelly, 139-40, 139n
new stories, 271-88
and beauty, 283
beginnings of, 285-88
and conversations about eating disorders, 280-81
and culture, 275-76, 280
and fantasies, 272-74
and power, 271, 273, 274-75, 276, 278-79, 281, 285
<
br /> and spirituality, 280
and treatments for eating
disorders, 276-78
and truth and humility, 279-81
uprising for, 283-85
Nolen-Hoeksema, Susan, 110, 184
nutrition/nutritionists, 84, 95, 96, 277
obesity
causes of, 171
in children, 177
definition of, 171n
emotional and psychological
aspects of, 173, 174, 177
as epidemic, 25, 82, 170, 173-74, 175
and fat bitch, 184-89
and health/disease, 173, 174
ignorance about, 172-75
images of, 174-75
and personality, 174-75
and race/class issues, 177
and sports, 208
See also diets; eating disorders; fat; weight
obsession
and legacy of feminism, 44, 51
as only dangerous when lethal, 24-25
prevalence of, 26
and quality of life, 31
See also specific topic
Oliver, J. Eric, 174
Olsen twins, 123
one-size-fits-all beauty standard, 166, 279
Orbach, Susie, 25, 171, 175, 188
“otherize,” 24
parenting, 38-40, 54-55, 60-61, 67-72, 78
parents
and competition among teenagers, 88
and new stories, 277, 278
pressure from, 202-3
and sex, 102
See also fathers; mothers
“partial-syndrome eating disorder,” 23, 62, 174
Paul, Pamela, 153
perfect girls
characteristics of, 5, 17-20
contradictions of, 18, 221-23
as daughters of feminists, 18
double consciousness of, 221-23
and failure, 214, 269
Gilligan’s views about, 34
as god projects, 251
and “good girls,” 34
impatience of, 234
pilgrimages of, 269
as privileged, 238
starving daughters compared with, 21
stop being, 282-88
See also specific topic
perfection
and admission of imperfection, 268
and beauty of imperfection, 283
books/writings about, 8-9, 10
characteristics of, 45
in college years, 213, 214, 216, 218-19, 221-23
correlation of eating disorders and, 5, 28
“effortless,” 5-6, 216, 222, 261, 262, 266
Fonda’s views about, 78
from good to, 35-45
and history of eating disorders, 28
as impossible to attain, 94-95, 268, 279
and legacy of feminism, 42, 43, 45, 54
never enough, 5
and new stories, 283
obsession with, 4-5, 13, 16, 17, 29
prevalence of attitudes about, 18-20, 29
teenagers’ talk about, 90, 93, 94-95
See also perfect girls; specific topic
perfection projection, 93-96
personality, 174-75
Pink, 12, 124
Pipher, Mary, 65, 79, 80, 173, 234-35
plastic surgery, 29, 95, 131, 247-48
pop culture, 9, 40, 121-27, 129-30, 146
pornography, 110, 121-22, 133, 146, 151-54, 161
post-college years, 230-49
appearance in, 243, 245-48
aspirations/goals in, 230-34, 236, 238, 249
career mobility in, 233-39, 241-48
composing a life in, 230-31, 249
control during, 236, 239-41, 248, 249
disappointments in, 248-49
eating disorders during, 233-34, 239
feminist American dream in, 231-33
fitness/exercise in, 240-41
humility in, 237-39
mentors/guides during, 241-45
and role models, 231-32
and thinness, 232
power
anorexia as, 253
and appearance, 141-43
of being young and mad, 278-79
and body, 12, 142-43, 153, 182
and confrontations about eating disorders, 226-27
and father-daughter relationships, 59
fear of, 276
and freedom, 141
and honesty, 165
knowledge as, 258
and money, 140-43
and new stories, 271, 273, 274-75, 276, 277, 278-79, 281, 285
and perfect girls, 142-43
potential, 278-79
of sex, 106
and spirituality, 269
struggles among teenagers for, 82-86
pregnancy, 98, 101, 104, 105n, 106, 118, 136-37, 239
pressure, 88-89, 196, 202-3, 216
prudes, 101, 103
“psychology of abundance,” 244-45
puberty, 63-66, 68
purging. See bulimia nervosa
Pussycat Dolls, 124
quick fixes, 149, 246, 255, 284
Quindlen, Anna, 5, 249, 269
race/ethnicity, 82, 83, 127-31, 177, 186, 220
Raitt, Bonnie, 124-25
rap, 40, 121, 133, 133n, 135, 139, 140, 178
rape, 111-13, 112n
reality
and new stories, 273-74
and spirituality, 255, 260, 262
split between intellectual
understanding and, 255-59, 260
religion, 250-51, 252-55, 258, 261, 269. See also spirituality
Remuda Ranch, 47
Renfrew Center, 32-33, 47
reputation, and sex, 102, 106, 108, 110, 118
respect, 57, 96, 103, 105, 107, 109, 119, 137, 226-27, 284
Richards, Amy, 54
Richie, Nicole, 123
rituals, 251, 253, 255
Roberts, Julia, 125
role models
anorexics as, 252
athletes as, 194-95
for fathers, 60
fathers as, 55, 76, 78
and legacy of feminism, 55
mothers as, 44, 45-46, 47, 48, 55, 76, 78, 231-32
and post-college years, 231-32
and spirituality, 251
See also mentors
Roth, Geneen, 8, 280
Rothstein, Caroline, 220
Rowe-Finkbeinger, Kristin, 216
Sachs, Brad, 60
Santa Fe teenagers, Martin’s discussions with, 82-86, 87-88, 91-92, 93
school, 69, 70, 103, 105. See also college years
Sedaris, Amy, 158
self-acceptance, 174, 181, 258, 280
self-confidence, 41, 94, 95, 96, 134, 142, 158, 164, 188, 238, 283
self-consciousness, 84, 87, 134, 142
self-criticism, 197, 214, 279, 280
self-doubt, 20, 21, 113, 196
self-employment, 234
self-esteem, 41, 69, 190, 245, 247
self-hatred
and “brain drain,” 30
and diets, 183
and father-daughter relationships, 77
and honesty in relationships, 164
inevitability of, 188
of Martin, 195
and new stories, 275, 278, 281
and obesity, 182
and perfect-girl talk among
teenagers, 85, 87, 90
and sex, 110, 112, 114, 118, 119
and spirituality, 260, 266
self-image
and aspirations/goals, 249
and body as holy war, 263
during college years, 216
and honesty in relationships, 164
influences on, 92
and new stories, 276
and perfect-girl talk among
teenagers, 90, 94, 96
in post-college years, 236, 249
quick fix for, 149
and sex, 104, 107
and spirituality, 263
self-w
orth, 2, 5, 127, 155, 171, 251
Serena, 221-23
“set points,” 170
sex, 98-120
and abstinence, 104, 105, 105n, 106
and abuse, 113
and athletes as sex symbols, 194
and attractiveness, 155, 156, 158, 160
and authentic sexuality, 110
and black holes, 5
and body, 98, 100, 103-4, 106, 109, 110-13, 114, 118
and casual hookups, 107-9, 110-11
choices about, 101
communication about, 112
as cookie, 107-9
and counseling, 114
demystification of, 102
and disease, 104, 106, 114, 114n, 118
and double standard, 103, 108, 110, 111
and eating disorders, 109-16
education about, 98, 102, 104-7, 111-12, 112n
experimentation with, 104-5, 106
and fat, 187
fear of, 101, 102
and feminism, 108
as forbidden, 106
with friends, 105
for fun, 105
and hip-hop, 136
and “hot girls,” 156
and identity, 108, 114
images of, 110
inflated meanings for, 98
and media, 98, 106
and mind, 109, 110-13
and mothers, 101-2
and one-night stands, 107-8
power of, 106
and prudes, 103
and rape, 111-13, 112n
and reputations, 102
silence about, 106
and sports, 106
and thinness, 182
and variety of sexual practices, 106
See also pornography
sexually transmitted diseases
(STDs), 104, 106, 114, 114n, 118
shame. See guilt/shame
Shandler, Sara, 234-36
Shanker, Wendy, 175, 181, 280
silence
about attractiveness, 161-65
about eating disorders, 220-22, 253
of fathers, 69, 70, 253
and hip-hop, 133
and new stories, 280-81
and perfection, 223
and pop culture, 122
about sex, 106
Simmons, Rachel, 80
Simpson, Ashlee, 125
Sinatra, Nancy, 125
“sitophobia,” 27
sluts, 65, 100, 101, 108, 114, 121
Sobel, Howard D., 248
socioeconomic class, 81-97, 177, 263
Solomon, Akiba, 140
“someday,” 180
Sontag, Susan, 271
soul, 77, 214, 258
Spears, Britney, 121, 124
Spice Girls, 92
spirituality, 250-70
ambiguity about, 250-51
and aspirations/goals, 260
and black holes, 251, 269
in college years, 251
and control, 259, 261, 266, 267-68
and eating disorders, 252-53, 256-66
and “handing it all up,” 266-70
and holy war, 262-66
and identity, 250, 255, 267
lack of, 55
and new stories, 272, 280
and perfection, 251, 258-62, 266-69
and power, 269
and role models, 251
and sex, 106
and split between intellectual
Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body Page 42