Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  Ryan would never admit it, but she’d just allowed Jada to get to her. The very same things that she was just complaining about were brought up in front of others. “Bitch? I’ma let you slide because that’s your emotions talking. Yeah, I know that you’re hurt because he left your ass. He probably already had the rent paid up for a year and told you that you could stay. He let you keep a BMW that you’re leasing. He probably left you a few grand too. After you pay that high ass car note and try to keep up with the Joneses while on a budget you’ll be back at square one. You don’t have shit substantial, honey. You don’t own a damn thing and in less than a year you’ll be back at home with ya mammy. I aint worried about you taking him. Shit, the way he came back so easily, he never was yours to claim. We both know that he is never coming back to you, so let’s not kid ourselves. He gave your ass the bare minimum and it kept you happy. But it aint even about all that. I could care less about what he bought you. I knew this nigga when he didn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. You been fucking with him for all these years, yet he sees me one time and it’s over for you. That should tell you something. He’s mine. He was mine every time you sucked his dick or washed his drawers. He was mines then and he mines now.”

  “Preach!” Dina laughed as she folded her arms across her chest.

  Desmond sucked his teeth. “Main, come on. Let’s go.” He pulled Ryan towards the Lexus. “Dina drive the Benz for me.” He tossed her the keys.

  “Alright, boy.” Amir waved as he pulled Zyrie back towards the elevator.

  Jada stood and watched as Desmond pulled out of the lot with Ryan in the passenger seat. Never in life had she felt so helpless. Sadly her best wasn’t good enough and now she had to face the ugly truth. He wanted Ryan more, but she just couldn’t live with that.

  Chapter 12

  “I think that you like drama.” Desmond scolded Ryan. He’d been getting on her ass while they drove home.

  “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. She didn’t give a damn about looking messy. She wanted that bitch Jada to know that the sheriff was back in town.

  “Yeah, okay.” He cut his eyes at her.

  She stared him down. “I don’t know why the fuck you cutting your eyes at me. I don’t respect whatever it is you had with that broad. She was fucking with my brother first and you knew how this shit would make me feel.”

  He nodded. “I guess the same way you made me feel when you left me.”

  She rolled her eyes. “There you go with that shit again. I told you why I did what I did. You couldn’t imagine going through what I went through.”

  “Once again you act like you talking to a stranger. When you hurt I hurt. I never left your side, Ryan. Now, I am really sorry about everything that happened. I really am, but let’s keep it real. You always knew what could happen. It came along with the territory, but I never heard you utter a complaint. But when shit got hard you bailed out. After that my loyalty to you didn’t matter. It actually made me feel better to fuck with a broad that you hated. It was the least I could do.”

  “Oh, so you fucked with her to spite me?” Ryan asked heatedly.

  “You damn right.” Desmond glanced at her before focusing on the road again.

  Without warning, Ryan swung at him, hitting him hard across the right side of his face. “What the fuck!” he belted as his truck slightly swerved. “Have you lost your fucking mind?!”

  “Fuck you!” she shouted. “You want to fuck with nasty bitches to prove a point?! I got you!” she was enraged as she swung again. He expected this one and was able to lean away.

  “Ay, you better keep your fucking hands to yourself!”

  “Fuck you.” She fumed.

  The rest of the ride home was filled with silence. As they pulled into their driveway they saw a black Mercedes Benz parked in front of the garage.

  “Who the fuck is this?” Desmond said aloud, not really asking Ryan.

  Ryan sat defiantly, refusing to open her mouth.

  Desmond studied her face. “So, you don’t know who the fuck is sitting in front of my house?”

  She raised a brow. “Your house?”

  He shook his head in frustration. “You know what I mean.”

  Just then Dina pulled up behind them in Desmond’s Benz. Once Ryan realized that her cousin was on the scene she hopped out of the Lexus. “Damn, you drive slow.”

  “Fuck you.” Dina smiled as she slid out of the car. As she stepped closer to the house she noticed the Benz. “What the fuck?”

  “Yeah, that's what I was thinking. You in trouble?” Ryan asked.

  “Yeah, right.” Dina waved her cousin off, as she strutted up to the Benz and knocked on the window.

  “Yeah.” Chad said as he rolled his window down.

  Dina sassily placed her hands on her hips. “What are you doing here?”

  “Shit, I’m trying to figure out what the fuck you doing over here. You knew my kids were coming this weekend. I been blowing your cell up.”

  Dina sighed. “Damn, I forgot.” She lied. Chad’s children weren’t very fond of her and she hated dealing with the situation. So, she’d get ghost whenever they were in town.

  “Sure you did, ma. Come on, let’s be out. Get homie to let me out.”

  She nodded before thinking. “Wait. How did you know where I was?”

  He gave her a conniving smile. “That’s for me to know.”

  She looked at him sideways. “You used GPS, nigga?”

  He shrugged letting her know that she was on to something. “Can you ask ole’ boy to let me out?”

  “Yeah, hold up, Mr. Rude.” She jawed, before turning to Desmond. “Ay, De-De, have you met my dude?”

  Desmond shook his head.

  “Well, come here.” She waved him over.

  Desmond strolled over to the car.

  “De-De this is my boyfriend Chad. Chad this De-De.” She introduced them.

  “Ay, what’s up?” Chad asked as he extended his hand for a shake.

  Desmond shook his hand. “What up?”

  “Okay, Desmond can you let him out because we have to go.” Dina asked.

  “No problem.” He nodded before hopping back into his ride. Dina then hopped into his second car and backed up enough to allow Desmond and Chad to move.

  Ryan was a little disappointed that her cousin was leaving. She was looking forward to ignoring Desmond while chatting with her fam. She needed a distraction because she wasn’t trying to see him at all. So, she hurried to their bedroom, leaving him alone to unpack his things.

  Desmond sat on the floor, allowing his guilt to sink in. He’d done plenty of women wrong in the past but this felt different. Although, he didn’t want to admit it, he and Jada had formed a bond and it wasn’t going to be easy to forget about her. She was special in many ways. Had it not been for her he might’ve gone insane. Ryan had him all fucked after she’d left, and now he was turning his back on the one person that was there for him.

  A small part of Desmond asked if he’d moved too fast, but when he thought about what he’d traded in he and Jada’s relationship for he knew that he’d made the right decision. Living separately from his kids after missing so many years of their lives just wasn’t an option.

  He smiled to himself realizing that he was fully lying to himself. He couldn’t pretend that Ryan wasn’t the motive. No matter what she’d done in the past the love he had for still ran deeper than the ocean.

  Ryan could drive any sane man nuts, but she was still everything he ever needed and wanted. The attitude she carried around just made him want to strangle her at times. Still, he willingly took the good with the bad.

  ******

  “Girl, I’m so fucking mad that I can barely think straight.” Ryan vented to Raven over the phone. “He actually told me that he fucked with that pale bitch to spite me.”

  Raven slightly giggled.

  “Uh…are you laughing at me?” Ryan chided.

  “Yep.” Raven laughe
d at little more. “So, the nigga was a little salty. It aint the end of the world. Technically, he was well within his rights to do whatever he wanted. You left him!”

  “So.” Ryan pouted like a three year old. “I’m still pissed.”

  Raven sighed into the phone. “You’ll get over it.”

  “No I won’t.” She insisted.

  “Whatever, girl. Where the nigga at now?”

  “I guess his ass is still downstairs.”

  “Well, let him know that Zyrie and ‘nem having a get together. You coming, right?”

  Ryan released an exasperated sigh. “I guess.”

  “Oh, tramp, don’t front like you don’t want to come, when your ass gon be the first face we see.”

  Ryan had to laugh. “Especially if yall having seafood.”

  “You already know.”

  “What time it start?”

  “Five. You just make sure that you and your Boo be there.”

  “Okay.”

  “Now, let me get off the phone. You got Jahrein looking upside my head, cause he ready to go to take a nap.”

  “Ewe.” Ryan mocked disgust. “After all these years he still wants a piece of that? Don’t he get tired of that wrinkled ass pussy?”

  “Wrinkled? You wish. You just hope that you still got it like me after pushing out a few more kids.”

  “Well, that won’t be happening.”

  “Um hmm, that’s what they all say. See ya silly ass tomorrow.”

  “Alright, Freak.” Ryan giggled, as she ended the call. Just then she heard the bedroom door creep open.

  Desmond eased his head inside. “You hungry?”

  She shrugged, while absently staring at her nails.

  He stepped completely into the bedroom and briefly studied her. “You still mad at me?”

  She lifted her head and stared, wanting to make him uncomfortable. “Should I be?”

  He shook his head. “Hell, no.” he stepped to the bed, and took a seat next to her. “Why you want to let old shit interfere with our happiness today?”

  As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “You want me to cook you something?” she asked, deciding to let the drama go.

  A huge smile covered his face. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  The day carried on without incident. There were several things that Ryan wanted to say, but decided that this wasn’t the battle to fight.

  ******

  “Ay, look at that nigga showing out.” Ryan shook her head, as she gazed out the passenger’s window. “He thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread, when he got his baby mama and kids living in the projects. Somebody need to jack his trifling ass.”

  Desmond cut his eyes at the candy-red Cadillac, sitting on 84s. Buckey was sitting proudly behind the wheel. The Cadillac’s trunk was waving while the words Still Holdin’ illuminated the interior. The car was definitely a show stopper, but it wasn’t for Desmond. He preferred expensive foreign cars, versus the ever popular slabbed out cars that most young Blacks and Mexicans in Houston preferred.

  “Let that man do him.” He told Ryan, as he cruised past the Cadillac.

  “Oh, I will. That nigga better be lucky I don’t get down like that no more.” She quipped, as she took a long drag from a blunt, filled with the finest purple haze in the city.

  “You just pass the blunt, Dope Dog.”

  She took another puff, before passing him the exotic. They were headed to Zyrie’s gathering, but had to get lifted first. Amongst the many things they had in common, smoking weed was at the top of the list. Ever since they were fourteen and fifteen they’d been getting high together. Desmond always said that he’d rather get fucked up with his girl, before smoking with a gang of hard heads.

  “You know what, I wouldn’t mind right about now?” Desmond asked, as he held the blunt with one hand and the steering wheel with the other.

  Ryan turned to him. “What’s that?”

  “Some drank.”

  “Drank, huh?” she smiled, thinking that she could go for a little codeine herself. “Boy, you gon get me in trouble. I haven’t fucked with that since I had the twins.”

  “Well, then don’t start back. I was talking about me.”

  “Hell no. Now, when have you ever bought some drank with me around and didn’t share?”

  “That was then.” He chuckled.

  “And this is now.”

  He shook his head. “Yeah, okay.”

  They took a quick detour to Desmond’s cousin’s house. He kept codeine by the gallons. Desmond copped a few pints, before continuing back on his route to Zyrie and Amir’s house. He and Ryan stopped at a Mobil gas station to buy two Hawaiian Punches. The juices made for a great mixture with the syrup they were sipping.

  By the time they arrived to the party they were both leaning. Judging by the flocks of cars parked outside, several people had shown up. The gathering was already in full gear. The food had been catered, and there was a plethora of drinks provided.

  “Look what the cat drug in.” Dina announced, as she spotted them entering the living room.

  “What’s up?” Ryan cheesed, feeling too good.

  “Ayyyy!” Desmond spoke feeling just as nice as Ryan.

  Immediately, everyone in the room began laughing.

  “Yall leaning, huh?” Raven asked, knowing that the two used to be drank heads back in the day.

  “Huh?” Ryan asked, pretending not to understand.

  “Huh, my ass.” Raven laughed. “What the hell took yall so long?”

  “I thought we were grown, Ma’am.” Ryan slightly slurred, as she flopped down on the nearest couch.

  Trinity shook her head. “Yall couldn’t wait to get fucked up.”

  “Why yall all in these people business?” Jahrein spoke, before taking a sip of Grey Goose.

  “Oh, you shut your drunk ass up.” Raven blasted her husband.

  Jahrein pointed a finger. “Yall see. That’s the shit I be talking about. Why you gotta put my business in the street, Raven?”

  Once again the room exploded into laughter. The atmosphere was lighthearted, as everyone got a little tipsy. The music was blaring from the speakers, as they all talked over it. It never dawned on anyone to simply lower the volume.

  Soon the women were engaging in a game of Tunk, where you had to show a hundred dollars just to sit at the table. The men were betting on dominoes.

  “It’s almost a damn shame how I’m about to take all yall’s money.” Raven teased, as she dished out the cards she dealt.

  “Raven please. Just don’t ask to borrow some of your money back, after I mop the floor with your ass.” Raquel joked.

  “Shit, I got it all over here.” Ryan smiled, as she stared at her hand.

  “Whatever, you just make sure that your high ass pay attention and don’t be dissing people out.” Dina let her cousin know. Whenever there was money involved she had her game face on.

  Everybody was under the illusion that Ryan wasn’t on her P’s and Q’s, until she began pocketing everyone’s money.

  “Why do I feel hustled?” Dina complained, as her cousin won another hand.

  Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  Raquel nodded. “I got this hussy.”

  Ryan waved her off, and did a fake yawn. “Another hater under my belt.”

  “Hey, hey, hey.” Tutu spoke as he entered the living room.

  “What’s up?” everybody spoke as they all looked up. He’d come with his girl Tericka and….Jada.

  Immediately, Ryan’s blood began to boil. “What kind of fucking games are being played here?” she seethed. All the women’s eyes at the table shifted to Zyrie, who was sitting on the side, watching the game.

  She realized that all the women were looking at her. “What?” She hunched her shoulders. “I invited Tutu and Tericka. Tericka’s been chummy with her lately, so I guess she brought her here.” She whispered.

  Ja
da had a satisfied look on her face. “Hello everyone.” She waved.

  “Hey.” The women spoke dryly, while the men offered a few, “What’s up’s?”

  Desmond shook his head knowing that Jada had somehow manipulated her way into coming to the get together. He was just hoping that Ryan didn’t start clowning, like she’d been known to do.

  “Why is everybody looking like that?” Tericka asked, as she stepped over to the card table.

  “Tericka, Tericka, Tericka.” Raquel shook her head. “Why ask silly questions?”

  “Huh?” she asked confused.

  “Why did you bring Jada?” Zyrie whispered, as she nudged her.

  Tericka shrugged. “I didn’t know that it would be a problem.”

  Zyrie rolled her eyes as she looked at Ryan. “Are you cool, cause if not…”

  Ryan shook her head. “Zye, this is your house. I don’t run shit, so as long as home-girl don’t say shit to me, I’m cool.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, now. Remember that we are all adults here.” He eyes wandered around the table.

  Raven shook her head. “That bitch knew exactly what she was doing.”

  “Who?” Tericka asked.

  “Your little friend. Did she tell you about her beef with Ryan?”

  “No.” Tericka shook her head. “I didn’t even know that Ryan would be here. I just knew that it was a get together, and Zye said that I could bring a few people.”

  “Anyways…back to the money.” Ryan rolled her eyes as they continued the card game. She didn’t know if Tericka was telling the full truth, but she wasn’t going to stress over it. It was done, and she’d be damned if she was going to allow Jada to run her off from her friends’ party.

  Jada took a seat on the couch alongside Trinity, who was on Facebook on her iPhone. She’d missed most of the confusion at the card table, because she was too into browsing.

  Jada silently looked around and checked out Zyrie’s house. She had to admit that it was laid. The living room was almost bigger than her entire condo. Still, she was trying to look at the décor, or whatever else to avoid looking at him. She couldn’t stand to look at the man that haunted her dreams. The person that she wanted so badly was just a few feet away, and she tried her best to hide her nervousness.