Can't Leave It Alone

by Nicole Jackson

  “Or what?” he got in her face. “What the fuck you gonna do?”

  “Bitch, you better move.” She gritted as she shoved him. His back slammed against the door.

  “Keep your fucking hands off of me.” He warned her.

  “Then move the fuck out of my way!”

  “I aint doing shit! I don’t know who the fuck you think you talking to!”

  “I’m talking to your bitch ass! Move. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Face!” she pushed him again.

  He gripped her chin. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

  She reached back and slapped the hell out of him. Just then they could hear the pity-pater of little feet running towards them. The twins stood in the doorway as Ryan swung on Desmond again.

  He consciously looked back. “See, what the fuck you did!” he lashed as she slammed the bathroom door shut in the twins’ faces. They could still hear the obvious fighting behind the closed door.

  They both knocked on the door, crying. “Mamaaaaa.”

  Dina shook her head as she stamped down the hall. “Yall, come sit in the living room.” She instructed.

  “I want my mommmmyyyy.” Desmond cried.

  She hugged them both and patted their backs. “Just go sit down for cousin. I’ma get your mama and daddy out of there, okay.”

  “Okay.” They sniveled as they headed for the living room.

  Dina stood and listened to her cousin argue. “Bitch, I don’t give a fuck! These hoes can have you!” Ryan shouted in the closed in bathroom. Then Dina heard a body slam against the door.

  “Ryan.” Dina knocked on the door. “Yall know that this shit aint cool. This my mama’s house, man. Give her some kind of respect.”

  The bathroom door swung open. Ryan had visible tears in her eyes along with highly noticeable scratches around her neck. “My bad, Dina. You ready to go?” she asked, choking back tears.

  Desmond’s chest heaved up and down as he followed Ryan into the living room. He stalked around her and spotted her purse on the couch. He snatched it up, and emptied its contents. When he found her keys, he quickly pocketed them.

  “Gimme my keys.” She cried as she tried to take them from him.

  “Move.” He shoved her away.

  Dina stood, growing frustrated. “De-De can you please give that girl her keys, so that I can go home to my babies?”

  Desmond headed to the door. “Come on, I’ll take you.”

  “Huh?” Dina looked confused. “Why Ryan can’t take me?”

  “Well, you see she aint got no car keys.”

  “Bitch, I don’t need that funky ass car. I can catch the bus.” Ryan fumed as she tossed everything back into her purse. She threw on her shoes and blazer, before grabbing the twins’ hands. “Come on let’s go.”

  “You aint taking them nowhere.” He growled as he pulled the twins out of her grasp.

  “Okay, okay.” Dina pulled Desmond back. “Yall really need to chill out in front of these kids.”

  “Tell that to your dumb ass cousin.” He snapped.

  “Ay.” Dina threw her hands up. “Ay, I’m done. I’m just gon call Chad to come get me.” she shook her head as she grabbed the cordless phone.

  “Who the fuck you calling dumb?” Ryan seethed.

  “You!” Desmond barked.

  “You know what bitch…” she snatched off her heel and threw it at him.

  It slammed across his head before he tackled her down to the couch. “Bitch, get off of me!” she screamed as the commotion caused the twins to leap off the other couch, and cry hysterically.

  “Calm, your muthafuckin ass down!” he gritted as he held her wrists. “Look at how you got me acting, man. Clowning and shit in front of my kids.”

  “Get off of me.” She fought against him. “I…I…I gotta throw up!”

  He lifted just in time as she hurled all over the carpet.

  “Look at this shit, man. You getting fucking drunk and shit. You can’t even handle your business.” He stood over her with a look of disgust.

  “Fuck you.” She groaned as she crawled to the bathroom.

  Once she made it to the bathroom she continued to puke her guts out.

  Eventually, Chad showed up to get Dina after the fighting had calmed down. Ryan was still steaming hot, but her body was too weak to fight. The hangover was kicking her ass. So, she ended up riding home with Desmond and the twins. They left her car parked at her aunt’s.

  She assumed that he wouldn’t let her drive her own car, because he didn’t want her using something he’d bought. In all actuality, he was just afraid that if he gave her the keys back she’d try to leave. He didn’t have the energy to chase her around Houston, so he was keeping all the vehicles’ keys away from her.

  “This shit aint gon work.” Ryan shook her head.

  Desmond sucked his teeth. “What the fuck are you talking about now?”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She twisted her neck. “You must have me confused with that weak ass bitch you was just with. I wouldn’t give a damn if you bought me the world. I will not be disrespected. This will not be a one sided relationship where you get to run the streets with no real explanations, while I sit my ass at home. I aint never been the type of bitch to let a nigga walk all over me, and I aint about to start today.”

  “Who’s walking over you, Ryan?” he asked as he tried to focus on the road.

  “You trying, but you got me totally fucked up.”

  He shook his head. “You tripping.”

  She lifted a brow. “I’m tripping, Desmond? So, it would be all good if the shoe was on the other foot right now? You’d be cool if I disappeared for most of the day and neglected to answer your calls? You straight with that?”

  “First off, me and you aint the same. I’m out in these streets, getting it. I don’t clock in or out. This is how I live. I can’t be up under you twenty four seven and still be productive.”

  “Don’t turn this into some other bullshit. I have never been that damn needy, and you know that. I let you handle your business, but I aint hearing that your business takes all fucking day. If you had to work that damn hard you’d get a nine to five. You acting like you on the corner slanging rocks. The shit that you do doesn’t require you being out all night. That’s what you want to do. And if that’s what you want then that’s cool. But I’m not going to be the dumb bitch at home waiting for you. You’re a grown ass man, and if you can’t respect me as your woman, then I can’t deal. You can run the streets as a single man.”

  “Well, like I said…I be taking care of business.”

  She tilted her head to the side. “Desmond, look at me. Does it look like I have the word stupid written across my forehead? You can miss me with these lame ass excuses. It’s obvious that you want to do you, and who am I to stand in your way? So, I’m done. You’re free.”

  He scrounged. “You done? So, what the fuck you trying to say?”

  “I just said it. This shit is a wrap.” She said with finality.

  “Wow. I don’t answer your calls exactly when you want me to, and now it’s over? You know how stupid you sound?”

  She lifted her head to the roof. “I sound stupid, huh? Well, how about I don’t answer my phone from now on? Then we’ll both be on the same page.”

  “Ay, I’m not about to continue to argue with you. If you got your heart set on leaving, then leave.” He shrugged.

  She folded her arms across her chest as she gave him a snide grin. “Oh, I am.”

  “Okay.” He nodded. “Cool.” He tried to play things off. He decided to call her bluff. She wasn’t about to continuously hold the threat of leaving over his head.

  The rest of the ride home was silent. As soon as he pulled into the garage she hopped out. She stepped ahead of Desmond and the kids, heading straight for the twins’ room.

  Desmond stood in the doorway watching her pack their clothes. She scrambled around the room, grabbing as much as she possibly could. She then whip
ped out her cell and called someone.

  “Hey, can you come get us?” she asked.

  Desmond bit his bottom lip, wanting to say something so badly.

  “I’m at a friend’s house.” She lied.

  This propelled him forward. “Who the fuck are you talking to?” he snatched her phone. “Hello.” He spoke into the cell.

  “Hello.” Some dude replied.

  “Bitch, you don lost your mind!” he belted as he smashed her phone into the wall, breaking it.

  She looked at him calmly as she picked the twins’ bags up. “I’m out of here.” She headed out the room as he snatched her arm, causing her to drop the bags.

  He gave her the look of death. She’d only seen this expression when he was in the streets, and was about to body a nigga. He tightened his grip as he spoke slowly. “What I want you to do is go talk to my sons and apologize for acting an ass in their presence. Make them understand that this was a onetime incident and it will never happen again. Tell them that you and their daddy are fine. Then I want you to go in the room, and get you some rest. It’s been a long day and you need to sit back and think. Think about what it is you’re doing. And think about what I will do to you if you take my kids away from me. And I really want you to know what I will do to you if you ever call another man in my fucking face again.”

  Everything in her wanted to cuss his ass out, but she valued her life too much. So, reluctantly, she did exactly as she was told.

  Chapter 15

  Ryan rested in her king sized California-styled canopy bed. The ten thousand dollar bed was made for comfort and she overindulged. She’d slept a majority of the day, yet she had no desire to get up.

  Three weeks had passed since the fight with Desmond, and things were calm. She hadn’t forgiven him, but had decided to just distance herself. If he wanted to bully her into staying, then he could live in misery as far as she was concerned. She didn’t have many words for him and they hadn’t had any sex. Each day that tipped by he seemed to become more aggravated. So, in her mind she was winning.

  Desmond pulled into their garage. He’d been playing home close lately, which didn’t make Jada very happy. He could tell that he had to do some damage control, before this thing between him and Ryan spiraled out of control.

  He bounced out of his car armored with a bouquet of white roses and a black velvet box. He strolled into the house, heading straight to the master bedroom. The twins were still at school so the house was quiet.

  He entered his room and found Ryan asleep; her body huddled underneath the covers. He sat right beside her, on the edge of the bed. “Ryan.” He shook her. “Ryan, wake up.”

  “Huh?” she lifted her head groggily.

  “Why you still sleep? You tired?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I must be.”

  “Well…I got something for you.” He smiled as he placed the flowers next to her.

  She eyed the floras. “What are these for?”

  “They’re for you. I wanted you to have them.”

  She frowned in confusion. “For what?”

  “Cause you’re special and I love you.” He commented as he leaned in, kissing her lips.

  She allowed herself to enjoy the kiss only for a few seconds, before pulling away.

  He shook his head knowing that she was being stubborn. “And I wanted to give this to you.” He exposed the black velvet box.

  Her heart fluttered as she tried to look disinterested.

  He opened the box and revealed a three carat sparkling diamond ring. “This is the ring I wanted to give to you.”

  “For what?”

  “It’s a…promise. I want to give you this as a symbol of all my promises I intend to keep. This promises that I will always put you first. I will listen to your wants and needs. And I will never let you walk out of my life, because I will do whatever it takes to keep you.”

  She stared at the ring until he removed it from the box and slid it on her finger. “I promise that I love you with all my heart. I know sometimes I fall short of your expectations, but I am only human. But if I hurt you then I am truly sorry. I just want to make this right. I want to see you smile again. I know that I was the cause of you changing up, and I apologize. And now you took your love away. A nigga can’t handle that. So, can you please go back to being the Ryan that I know and love?”

  She fell back into the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Ugh!” she let out in frustration.

  “Why you gotta be so hard? You can’t be woman enough to be vulnerable for me?” he pressed, as he leaned over her, getting right into her face.

  She shook her head. “I don’t wanna be weak.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I just hate feeling like the smallest thing will send you packing. It’s like I want your love unconditionally, with no restrictions. Right or wrong. Good or bad. I’m gonna fuck up, and you will too. The difference is that I love you too much to let small shit get in the way of us. I just want you to do the same. Let me know that you’re here to stay. Not one foot in the door and the other out. I need you all the way here.”

  She continued to stare at the ceiling as tears slid out the sides of her eyes. “Stop that.” He whispered as he kissed her. “Can you be my baby again?”

  She giggled as she nodded.

  He eased his entire body into the bed. “That’s what I’m talking about.” He gently stroked her face. “I missed you.”

  She smiled. “Me too.”

  He climbed on top of her and slid her nightie up. “Damn, I really missed this.” He palmed her kitty.

  A chill eased up her spine. “She missed you too.”

  He eased down, now face to face with her pussy. “Well, allow me to reintroduce myself.”

  ******

  Jada was so excited. It was her birthday and Desmond had promised to spend the entire day with her. She hadn’t seen him in weeks, so she planned to give him a little something that he could feel.

  The day was already mapped out. They were going to hit up The Cheesecake Factory, and finish off the night on the Kemah boardwalk. She had the perfect outfit for what was destined to be the perfect evening.

  Jada was absolutely stunning in a Tory Burch mini dress. Her hair was freshly pressed and had a natural gloss to it. She knew that De-De was going to love her look.

  She was silently thanking Tericka in her mind. It was Tericka who’d given her the advice of being the non-stress factor in Desmond’s life. You could always catch more bees with honey any day. Ever since she’d taken the advice, she’d been getting a much better response from Desmond. And from what she’d been hearing he and Ryan were on bad turns, so she was determined to play her cards right.

  “Your daddy should be here any minute.” She spoke to her baby. She’d read that it was possible that babies could hear their mother’s voice while still in the womb.

  Just then there was a knock at the door. She perked up. “There he is right there.” She happily made her way to the door. She snatched it open. “You’re here…”

  “Damn, you’re that happy to see me?” Tericka asked as she stepped into the condo.

  Jada sucked her teeth. “You wish.” She closed the door. “I thought that you was my boo, yeah.”

  “Desmond?” Tericka inquired, as she sat down on the couch.

  “Why of course.” Jada flipped her hair over her shoulder. “My old man,” she mouthed sassily.

  Tericka rolled her eyes. “I guess.” She personally thought that Jada was getting her hopes up too high. As the time passed she and Jada became closer. Unlike Zyrie and the rest of their crew, she wasn’t biased. Yeah, she knew Ryan, but they weren’t best friends. Still, there was no beef. They’d always been cool with one another, but had never hung out one-on-one. They always dealt through associations, so she felt no loyalty to her. But she did feel conflicted in giving Jada advice on how to get Desmond back. It really wasn’t about rooting for anyone; she was just trying to be a good friend.

  “Yeah, w
e’re going out tonight, bebe.” Jada stressed, bragging on the low.

  “I heard that.” Tericka nodded. “But let me ask you something.”

  “Go ahead.” Jada nodded.

  “How can you be so cool with playing the sideline when you were just the main squeeze?”

  Jada shook her head. “I’m not okay with it, but these are my circumstances for the time being. Hopefully, in a couple of months things will back to normal, and he will back here with me.”

  “Optimistic, I see. But Jada, I really want you to realize that things may never be the way they once were. Yall entire relationship was built on circumstances. Ryan got shot and left him. She kept the twins from him. Those factors allowed you to get close to him with no interference from her. But now she’s back and we both know she aint going nowhere. And even if she tried, Desmond aint having it. Evidently, he wanted to be with her. I just want you to look at things a little more realistically. You’re a pretty girl and there so many other niggas that can give you the same things Desmond gave you. Why settle for somebody else’s man?”

  Jada swallowed hard. “Tericka, no offense but you don’t know about us. Yeah, him and Ryan grew up together, but that was a long time ago. As a man his time was spent with me. He came home to me every night. There were several bitches that wanted to be in my shoes, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that his ass hadn’t gotten confused a time or two. We’d go through the motions, but eventually he’d come back to me. I know that De-De is just stuck on what could’ve been versus what really is. So, once he gets his mind right he’ll be back.”

  Tericka shrugged. It wasn’t her drama to stress over. “Hey. It’s your life. I was just letting you know how I saw it. I’d be less of a friend if I didn’t keep it real with you. But trust me; I know how to mind my own business.”

  “And it’s okay to tell me what’s on your mind, but at the end of the day it’s me that has to make the decisions.”

  The two women sat and laughed as the time slipped away. Before they realized it seven o’clock had arrived, and Desmond should’ve been there at five.

  “Damn, it’s getting late.” Jada sighed as she glanced at her Movado watch. “Let me call this nigga.” She dialed him up, then sat and listened to his phone go straight to voicemail. “Oh, hell no. I know this nigga didn’t turn off his phone.” She vented as she called his phone again and again. Each time she got the same results.