Sand Glass

by A M Russell

  ‘Yes. Of course. The transport. Don’t worry. We’ll be going too.’ I glanced back at Jared hoping she would acknowledge him.

  ‘I’m going through. You coming?’

  ‘In a minute.’ I said.

  She swept out of the room, apparently unaware of Jared; this was getting freaky.

  ‘What the….?’

  ‘I’m past the point of no return.’ Jared said calmly, ‘I know that this day would come. You’re the only one who can see me.’

  ‘Is it like Aiden?’

  ‘Yeah…a bit.’ He turned from me, and put his hand over his face. When he turned back his eyes were brimming. ‘She’s my sister….’ He said, ‘she’s my sister. I’ve loved all my life. How could I forget?’

  I put my hand on his shoulder. He was quite real. Quite solid to me. ‘Jared… I will do anything I can for you… anything. Just name it.’

  ‘You said you wanted to put an end to this?’

  ‘Yes. I do.’

  ‘Why do you?’

  ‘Because it’s hurting people. It’s destroying them. Maybe not physically. But in their minds. It’s twisted them out of shape so long that some have cracked. And there are people stranded out there; some in the desert. I was told that they were some of the first to come on the project. There is a group headed by Elland.’

  ‘Michael?’ Jared brightened, ‘I know him. He was on a training course I went on about two years ago I think.’

  ‘Weird?’

  ‘What is?’ he looked at me carefully.

  ‘How everyone has some connection to all of this or each other that predates the experiments.’

  ‘Yes. It’s truly odd.’ He smiled then, ‘so you must know where I am on the outside. Tell me. So I can go home when we’re done here.’

  I looked away. There were no words to say how I felt so I sat down. Jared followed me. We sat on the red settee. He waited for me to “spill the beans”. Clearly Jared for all the holes in the factual, had the same instincts about people that were as sharp and perceptive as they had ever been.

  ‘I won’t lie to you… it isn’t good news.’ I began rather badly I thought.

  ‘Ok. So tell me.’ He smiled disarmingly. It was that smile. Quiet knowledgeable, irresistibly tempting to confess all to such a person.

  ‘Jared; if I tell you, it must be all. There can be no middle ground. And it will hurt. I’m sorry, I truly am.’

  ‘Let’s go to the bar.’

  ‘You want a drink?’

  ‘No. Not really. But I think you need one.’

  It was empty of clients. Everyone was on one of those interminable tours designed to lull you brain into a false sense of security. I sat down at a little table. The bar man brought two drinks over straight away.

  ‘He can see you?’

  ‘Yes. Of course he can. How do you think I get served?’ Jared grinned at me. ‘They’re not interested in the state of your existence, just whether you’ve got the right change or not. So give it to me. I’m ready.’

  So I did. As I spoke I felt some of the pain lift. Jared smiled at the bits about me and my ineptness. And even laughed at the part with the blue stuff. I spared him no detail. I felt I owed him the truth, as anyone I knew deserved to know, but he of all people required that of me. Without it. Without that cruel mercy I could not end this war of ideologies. I could not stop Rimmington from murdering someone else next time. Where would it end? I was scared too. This Modulator was already in the wrong hands. How much longer before these super ego people would be winning the lotteries every week, or seducing every girl available. Corrupting innocent people with their dreams. It was a nightmare to be lost inside this playground. They only thing that stopped me from running away when I had finished was the knowledge that I would be breaking a promise to Jared in the stone chapel. I remember that feeling then, and those visions. I told them to him also. He looked away and looked at me again.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘The tie.’

  ‘I saw an image, a vision, I don’t know what to call it. But it seemed very strong; and the one where you were in the park. I think I know the place.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘It’s a place in Yorkshire. Not down here. A town I’ve visited sometimes. There’s a park. And sometimes there’s a band playing on a Sunday afternoon.’

  ‘It’s an appointment I would like to keep.’

  ‘I’m sorry to tell you Jared. But your appointments will have to wait until you wake up…’

  ‘I’m… what?’

  ‘In a coma.’ I looked to his face for a reaction, ‘I’m so sorry…’

  He got up and went straight to the bar. And came back with what looked like two quadruple whiskeys and water.

  ‘Of all the days I’ve had,’ he said and sipped, ‘There have been better.’

  He turned to me then, and putting his hands on my shoulders, spoke so quietly I could only just hear it; ‘Thank you for telling me the truth. Thank you for being a friend, thank you for being willing to come back…’ he paused looking down, ‘How can I leave them?’

  ‘Who Jared?’

  ‘Janey. Our Parents.’ He was struggling to gain control.

  ‘Jared… Jared. It’s ok. I’m here. You’re here. We’re going to sort it out. And if anyone doesn’t help, well…. they’re right off my Christmas card list.’

  He looked at me clearly and calmly then, ‘Of course. We can do this. But who can we trust?’

  ‘Marcia. And some of our lads.’

  ‘Are they here?’

  ‘Some.’

  ‘When is the set off time tomorrow?’

  ‘I’ll find out. Where will you be?’

  ‘Right here. Don’t worry. In a crazy world, sometimes the only ones you can trust are the ones that no one else can see.’

  ‘Right…’ I sat and drank whisky with Jared, and told myself it all was perfectly normal.

  'So what have we got?' Marcia was speaking. We crammed into a tiny unused office with George and Adam. The whole thing was beginning to develop holes. I wasn't sure if this was good or bad. Nikolas wasn't there, neither was Curly. Dieter had come to the afternoon meeting and told the assembled groups that there might be an indefinite delay for setting out.

  So we ran over all the available facts. Joe and Oliver had both been seen; but they weren't our versions. Jules was not on the list; Jared was on but hadn't shown up. Janey was acting really strangely. James had been about and exchanged a few words with George, but then disappeared into the maze of the Base Kitchens. Personally I thought he was playing it smart. Maybe he wasn't playing it at all. We were a jolly depleted crew.

  'No sign of Jules or Jared.' said Adam.

  My eyes must have flickered with something. Adam was looking at me intently.

  'We will have Sam on hand by tomorrow. He'll act as liaison to our crew on the outside. They won't be far away. But things have changed a lot round here. We need to be prepared for a full reset.'

  Everyone except me nodded. I looked to Marcia for the answer.

  'Ah! That's the technical way of saying that it all starts again. Everyone is back to an apparent square one. It's unpleasantly like a hangover, but without the pleasure of getting drunk the night before.'

  'So how do you cope with that?' I asked.

  She gave me that look that was typical Marcia.

  'Oh! Right.....' I looked at Adam.

  'Give, Davey!' he also had that appraising look.

  I looked away.

  'We need to share information,' said Marcia, 'so what's on your mind Davey?'

  'I said before that I think I can see the connection between us all. George would have to confirm that it is so. Then we might have something to go on.'

  'Not really,' said George, 'there is a lot of misinformation flying around. I had a good look at the err... records that were got out of Base.'

  'And?' Marcia was expectant.

  'And nothing. I can't re
member any of it. The Base records in the hard drives here reflect the reality that is currently dominant. The only thing I can be sure of is what I record privately.'

  'But the things you send out of here, or take away?'

  'They cannot be remembered while I'm here. And on the outside I cannot recall anything beyond what was written down. It's very frustrating.'

  'So Marcia is the only one who remembers everything?'

  'Yes.' she said to me, 'I do. And you can ask me the question you've been dying to ask since the business with the tag.'

  'You sure I'm not in the dog house on this one?' I asked her.

  'What is the question?' Adam this time; patient, but interested.

  'Everyone must answer.’ I said, ‘Just tell me the date of your birthday.'

  There was a pause. Then Adam seemed surprized at something.

  Marcia was the first to respond. 'There's nothing significant about that.'

  'You're wrong. No one could answer before. No one knew. But I'm guessing that the pass codes for the tags are a six digit code. A birthday in fact. You unlocked the tag Marcia. You remembered.'

  'That wasn't my birthday. I was just numbers.'

  'What is your birthday then?'

  'I'm not telling you that!'

  'Why not?'

  'The inhibition is too strong.' Adam interjected, 'I see it clearly. Other information has been substituted for the things we know to be true.'

  'That's just potty.' Marcia was irritated.

  'No. It's not....’ I said quickly, 'you remember things. But what if: some of it was just plain wrong?'

  'Yes. Of course,' said George, 'the debrief. Marcia always had the other team’s head technician.'

  'Misinformation is just as useful as missing information.' Adam seemed firmly convinced.

  'I know what I know.' Marcia said hotly, her face began to get that red angry look.

  'Easy...' said George, 'As much as you want to believe you haven't been tampered with. It might be a matter of a suggestion planted rather than a reality reset for you personally.'

  'I think I agree.' Adam said calmly, 'I have memories that are not consistent with other ones. That is to say: when Davey asked for my birthday.... I remembered something so strong, so potent. But the facts I recalled didn't match.'

  'Please enlighten us.' said Marcia still crossly.

  'Marcia. I respect you. Along with of all the team. You are the sanest of the rest. I know I have been affected by different means. Everyone here knows I have no visions and suchlike.'

  Was it my imagination, or did his eyes flick to me momentarily?

  Adam continued: 'Yes. I know it. It's the scent of heat. Of the err... Vegetation, in the height of summer. Intense heat.... The last thing to leave memory is the smell of something. And yet, I remember a birthday in November. Memories - like a picture book cleverly put together in a slideshow; dovetailed into the other parts; that time with my family. You can't see the join.'

  'But you can smell it?' George had an "ah-ha!" look in his eyes.

  'Yes! Exactly that.' Adam looked at me.

  George turned to me as if about to say something. Marcia's face had returned to its normal colour, she was looking at me as well.

  'The First of August.' I said.

  They all looked as if I had started a chain reaction in each of them simultaneously. George was the first to speak.

  'I know how we are all connected now. This is weirder than I thought.'

  'It was a lovely day. How did I not know?' Marcia looked upwards thinking.

  'Summer.' said Adam simply.

  'What?' I was always doing this, provoking a reaction, but not knowing what I'd done.

  'I'm so sorry for being cross.' said Marcia.

  'What an idiot I've been!' said George, 'I didn't have our team of technicians debrief all the people in Hanson's expedition group.'

  'We have been compromised.' said Marcia, 'We might as well leave now.'

  'Not quite.' said Adam, 'there is still a point of reference. Davey has never been debriefed. Also, if I understand it right he has not ever been at Base during the Modulator reset. So....'

  'There isn't much time.' George said to me, 'You and Marcia will have to kit up, and then we get you into the Buggy. I can get hold of Sam; he's the only one we can trust who can get here in two hours.'

  'What about Janey?' I said, 'I have to get her to come with us.'

  'I'll deal with that,' said Marcia, 'Don't worry Davey.... There are some things that every girl understands even in an alternate universe, where reality is about to do a backflip, and all the creeps are out to get you.'

  'Where is Hanson?' I said, 'Has anyone seen him?'

  'Let's just pray he's busy in some interminable meeting or practicing knots....' Marcia made a face.

  'Or meditating?' I said.

  'Just remind me....' Marcia said sharply, 'if I ever try to hook up with a tall guy with a beard and a broad chest.... And err, big feet. Just remind me to pick a decent guy like Jared.'

  Adam and George exchanged glances.

  'You do know what happened to Jared don’t you?' asked George carefully.

  'Yes. I know.' said Marcia with a brittle brightness, 'If anyone wants to help me, then they'll help me keep that faith I have; that Davey and I can save him....' she turned to me then; 'I always knew what had happened. I always accepted it. I was in love with him for a long time before Hanson ever came on the scene. And I'm sorry.... I thought because everything had changed around me that no one else could know about any of that. Janey knows.... And she loves Jared a lot more than I do. She saved him from dying out there, in the real world. Perhaps I can help bring him back...' she turned away from us lads then; and spoke again but in a whisper: 'this is a land for lost souls, be it heaven, hell or purgatory. And if my life will bring him back; I'll take the deal. Because I can't bear the way they are all ripped apart... Janey and her parents....perhaps I can give them back their son. I'll take my chances as to where I fit in after that.'

  'Are you ready to get the ice kit now?' George said.

  She turned and faced us again.

  'Yes. Now.' Marcia was resolute. Then she said to me, 'I won't do this for revenge, or for science, or even for my friends. But for Jared... For him. I’ll do it for him.'

  'Time folks.' said Adam, 'Let's be at the hangar at 4 pm.'

  We left the small office and all parted company. I had half an hour and then George would kit me up himself. Marcia went to persuade Janey.

  Adam was given the passkey and codes by George so he could ready the Buggy.

  I turned down the little side corridor nearby. There was Jared! He leaned against the window frame, silhouetted against the light, on what was now low sun on a mid-October day. Yet it was odd. Was it really October? As I watched the light shifted and became bluer, a few flakes of snow drifted against the window.

  ‘Davey!’ Jared was surprized, as if I had caught him in the middle of some train of thought.

  ‘This is really weird. You do know that.’ I said.

  ‘Sorry. Yes. It is. I didn’t mean to startle you.’

  ‘That’s ok.’ I leaned against the window next to him, ‘Do you think we’ll ever understand it all?’

  ‘You ask me this now?’ Jared seemed sad, ‘I’m tired Davey. I can’t go on much more.’

  ‘Please don’t say that Jared… not now. We’re setting out this afternoon. Where will you be?’

  ‘I’ll see you when you get there.’

  ‘Get where?’ I glanced down at his hands. He was holding the necklace.

  ‘Janey gave it to me on our birthday.’

  ‘Marcia told me. Jared…. I’m….’ but he silenced me, putting his finger to his lips, and very quietly, ‘You will know the place.’ He held my gaze for a few more seconds.

  ‘Davey! There you are!’ I turned automatically as she called me.

  ‘Janey?’ I tried to sound casual, ‘Have you seen Marcia?’

  ‘No
. should I have? There is the most amazing slide show on this afternoon. And there’s a talk. It about the waveform, and how it affects us at a cellular level. I think you should come too!’

  ‘We are going soon Janey. You will need to get George to kit you up straight away.’

  ‘Why? I’ve not had lunch yet. No time.’ She came closer. I saw her eyes were red rimmed. She was tired, or stressed; or both; ‘It’s been days Davey. What the Hell am I doing here?’

  ‘I’ve been here for only a few hours….’ I took her arm and pulled her towards me, ‘you go straight to George. Get kitted up. We will leave just after four.’

  ‘In the middle of the night?’ she was over tired, but this was getting really too much. Her eyes gleamed in the light of the corridor. There was no one about. And it was so quiet… and dark outside. I let go of her as if I had been stung. We were in the afternoon sunlight. Jared was standing a few yards away looking at her.

  ‘She can’t see me.’ He said.

  ‘Janey, come with me. But don’t touch me. Ok?’ I saw she was confused.

  ‘Alright.’ She said eventually.

  I glanced back towards Jared. But the corridor was empty.

  *****

  Seven

  We were on the way across the uneven terrain. Janey sat in the back coughing. She looked really ill. The only way to save her was to take her with us. George told us he'd seen it before; right at the beginning. It was that time before the Modulator frequency that covered Base had been properly adjusted. People got sick, especially first timers. They experienced dislocations in time, paranoia, and so on. George couldn't include hallucinations as one of the indicators in diagnosis: we all could get those anyway.

  We travelled steadily. Marcia drove us this time. I was in the front passenger seat. The atmosphere, oppressive and thick with unease was beginning to lift. It was just us three. Adam had promised us that, should we need it, he would come to the first camp and rendezvous with us. George said that Sam could coordinate from Base if needed and that he would come with Adam if necessary.

  We had three days. That is, three days of Base time. But for us that was a lot longer. The prestart sequence for the reset had begun. Base went very quiet. Despite our worries at beginning stopped by Rimmington and his tribe bent on vengeance, nothing had prevented us from driving the Buggy straight out of the compound. The following day at Base would be quite different; the number of personnel on hand would swell to maximum and then we would be in the cross hairs.