Hand pressed lightly over the bulge her stomach created under the thin fabric of her simple, empire-waist gown, Kaori stared down at the letter she held in front of her, the gentle strokes of Therek’s elegant handwriting bringing tears to her eyes to think of how long it had been since she saw him last. His time in Siundel had been short, though that was in part to Kaori’s stubbornness. She hated lying in bed doing nothing. Her haste to return to business left Therek with no choice other than to join Davian on the road to the mountains where he spent the past several months, their communication infrequent, forced to refrain from putting anything personal onto parchment for fear of their letters being intercepted and the secret of their affair being exposed.
Word of Kaori’s condition had already begun to spread throughout Tanispa despite the care and effort she exerted to try and keep it from the public’s notice. Although nothing was confirmed, she was aware of the whispers behind her back, taking note of the weight she gained and its location. Style of dress could only do so much to conceal her stomach. She was a slight girl. Any added inches to her figure were immediately apparent, the rumors fueled more by the unusual choice of gowns she had taken to wearing when in view of her subjects and the new members of the Vor’shai court. Of everyone in high society, she was the only woman who chose not to wrap herself in the tight stays of a corset. The constant presence of her physician at her side over the past few weeks sparked the whispers to run more rampant than before, leaving Kaori somewhat frightened by what Therek might have heard while away which triggered his most recent letter.
In the privacy of her study, Kaori paced the wooden floor, eyes straying occasionally to the rug which remained positioned off-center from the desk, cleverly concealing the trap door from view that she knew to be there. Picturing it brought back memories of the first time she set foot in that room. So much had changed since then! She wasn’t the same girl Therek hid under the floor to protect from General Deliao. Weeks of torture in a darkened prison had a way of changing a person.
Pehrona’s delicate figure sat patiently in a wooden chair next to the desk, her eyes following Kaori’s every movement, occasionally drawing a breath to speak only to release it again, not wanting to disturb Kaori from her thoughts. Aware of her friend’s curious gaze, Kaori looked up from the letter, pausing in her constant pace in hopes of easing Pehrona’s obvious concern. “Do not worry, Pehrona. General Losuva writes with good news from the east. It seems the Esai are adjusting quite well to their new lands and King Torust has finally decided on a name for his country.”
“It is about time,” Pehrona huffed, seemingly relieved to hear that the letter didn’t bring with it some terrible recollection of events in the Esai lands. “What have they settled upon? Something wonderfully creative, I suspect?”
“Not quite,” Kaori chuckled quietly to herself. “It seems King Torust was partial to the lands where his family originates. After careful consideration, he chose to name the country after the city his ancestors called home, and began erecting a palace a few months ago. Therek believes it will be completed before the first snowfall of winter.”
“Which city has he chosen to immortalize in the name?”
“Siscal.” Amused by the notion, Kaori couldn’t help but smile. It was strange, yet practical. She’d seen it done within many territories to name towns after the county in which it was located. Rothdara was a perfect example, named after the largest and most prominent town within its borders. To name a country after a city, however, seemed rather odd. But it wasn’t her land. The Esai were free to do with their kingdom whatever they pleased. “Therek also indicates that he has chosen someone to act as general over the Esai military. They are small in number, so a single leader is sufficient for now. He hopes to return to Siundel – Sivaeria – very soon.”
Her eyes scanned over the letter, careful not to read every word aloud. There was more within the writing than she was used to, trembling nervously to think that anyone might have seen this correspondence other than her. Vague references, though enough for her to grasp the intention of their meaning. Upon his return, he hoped to further discuss the matters which they briefly spoke of prior to his departure. He had given much thought to their situation and had come to a decision which he hoped she would approve of when he was able to explain the details in person. She knew exactly to which matters he referred. Her fear was in what his decision could be. Had he changed his mind about arranging a secret marriage between them? Or worse, what if he had changed his mind about marrying her at all?
“You look pale, Your Majesty. Perhaps you should sit down…”
“I will be fine,” Kaori looked up at her friend, reminded of her presence, suddenly aware of how frantic she must look. If her intention was to keep her feelings for Therek private, she was doing a terrible job of hiding them from one of the few people who were most able to read her like a book. “It is simply refreshing to think that we may soon be able to shift our focus onto our own lands. Build a proper army so we do not have to rely on the Namiren soldiers to act as guards around the palace gates. Avishul has not felt the same since Therek left.”
“If I am not mistaken, you look a bit wistful at the thought of his return.” Kaori’s head lifted nervously at the sound of Pehrona’s chair scraping across the floor with the graceful motion of her body rising to her feet. The gentle thud of her slippers upon the floor signaled her approach, Kaori’s hands quickly folding the letter to prevent Pehrona from seeing the words written within.
“He is my general. I will not deny that I feel more comfortable having him at the palace. We are vulnerable in his absence.”
“We have half the Namiren army stationed at every road in Sivaeria. I would not consider us vulnerable.”
Lost for an argument, Kaori inhaled a deep breath, staring down at the crumpled parchment clutched tightly between her fingers. Every word she spoke only brought further incrimination. If she wasn’t careful, she would walk her friend directly to the truth she wanted so badly to hide. “I am simply weary of having my military scattered throughout three countries when they are needed here at home. Tanispa will not feel like it is truly ours until we are no longer reliant on our foreign allies.”
A slight pain in her abdomen caused Kaori to pause, her hand sliding over the rounded bulge to press at the location of the discomfort in hopes of easing tension in the muscles. Pehrona’s eyes followed her motions, the gentle pressure of her hand lightly resting on Kaori’s back reminding Kaori of her presence at her side. “How much longer do you intend to keep your condition a secret? People have already begun to talk.”
“Let them talk,” Kaori grimaced, shaking her head to try and focus on something other than the dull ache which remained in her stomach. “A few whispers are nothing compared to the rumors which would abound if I announced that their suspicions are correct.”
“If you knew the things they were saying, you may not feel the same.”
Kaori’s brow lifted curiously, eyeing Pehrona through her peripheral vision. She wanted to know what was being said about her behind her back while at the same time she knew it was unwise to ask. It was one thing to know that people whispered falsities. Knowing what those falsities were would only make things worse. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, curiosity getting the better of her in the end. “What exactly do they say?”
“Aside from the obvious?” Pehrona asked with a sympathetic glance. “They suspect your condition and question the identity of the father. Some swear it to be the child of the late Captain, while others claim it must be that of General Losuva. I have even heard some speak of the possibility that the child will be a mix of Vor’shai and Namiren blood.”
“They say what?” It was worse than she thought. Her child was not yet born and these people already believed it a mixed breed. And Namiren, no less! She would rather they whisper about the father being dead than being that of Namiren descent. If they were willing to suspect her to carry a child of one of their
foreign allies, what was to stop them from exaggerating the stories of how she formed the alliance and leaving every detail of her character open to ridicule. “I may not be the most forthcoming with information of the child’s father, but I assure you he is of full Vor’shai heritage. One of the finest bloodlines they could ask for in an heir to their country’s throne.”
“If that is true, then I think it is in your and the child’s best interest to tell the people who the father is. It will quell the fears of it being less than pure.”
“I cannot do that, Pehrona.”
“I do not understand why,” Pehrona sighed. “Are you ashamed of the father? Was the child’s conception not – consensual?”
Exasperated by the thought Kaori waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, no longer comfortable with the topic. It was her own fault. She knew better than to inquire of the rumors. The questions Pehrona asked now were to be expected when teased with the possibility of learning the details of Kaori’s secret. “Do not be ridiculous,” she took a step away from Pehrona, another wave of discomfort stopping her mid-step, leaving her breathless for a moment before managing to find her voice again. “I cannot divulge the information because the father is unaware that I carry his child. Sorry to disappoint if you hoped for something more scandalous.”
“So the father is still alive?”
Damn. If she didn’t stop talking soon, Pehrona would deduce who the father was simply by the lack of options which remained. “I think I need to lie down. Suddenly I do not feel very well.”
The pain came again, stronger this time, Kaori’s hands grasping at her stomach as if that might somehow make it stop. Knees trembling, she collapsed to the floor, a groan of agony escaping her as the pain persisted. “Kaori,” Pehrona was to her side instantly, kneeling in front of Kaori to keep her from falling forward any further. “Is it the baby?” she asked frantically. “Should I send for Enslye?”
Kaori stared at her friend, not fully understanding what she said. The words were jumbled in Kaori’s mind, her focus scattered by the agonizing sensation which shot through her entire midsection. Was she in labor? It seemed too soon for the child to come yet when she considered the time which passed since that night in Avesian, she felt foolish for not having better prepared for this moment. She’d spent so much time trying to pretend there was no child that she had taken few precautions to ready herself for its birth.
Without waiting for a response Pehrona ran from the room in search of Enslye, returning a few moments later to kneel again at Kaori’s side. Head clouded by pain, Kaori barely noticed her friend’s absence, disoriented to suddenly look up and discover Enslye’s familiar face at her other side. “Help me get her to a bed,” Enslye grabbed at Kaori’s arm to lift her from the floor, aided by Pehrona’s slender hands sliding around Kaori’s waist to guide her upward, careful not to press too tightly around her stomach.
The world around Kaori passed in a blur as the girls helped her down the long hall toward her bedroom, calling out orders to the servants along the way. Bring them towels. Fetch some water. Everyone was in a panic by the time Kaori felt the soft mattress under her back, crying out as another wave of pain came over her. It was all happening so fast! She always thought the birth of a child would take more time. A gradual progression which would allow the physicians a chance to prepare for its arrival with greater care. This was nothing like she expected. The contractions came so suddenly, she feared there was something horribly wrong and that the child would be lost.
“The baby is coming!”
Her heart nearly stopped to hear Enslye speak. She wasn’t ready for this. If the child came now, she wouldn’t be able to continue living in denial of the truth. There would be no more hiding her secret. She would have to face the world and the disapproving eyes of those around her. But worse – she would have to face Therek. Word was sure to reach him in Siscal once the child was born. It was only a matter of time before he would return to Sivaeria and demand answers to the questions she dreaded hearing him ask since she first learned of her condition. But there was no stopping it now. By the following morning, she would be a mother, and nothing she said or did would change the mistakes she’d made. Her life was in the hands of the gods now… and the only thing left to do was pray.
Kaori rested her head on the soft cushion of the pillows, sweat matting her hair against the skin of her face and neck. Exhaustion settled over every inch of her body yet she couldn’t bring herself to sleep, the soft, delicate form of her child resting lightly in her arms, held protectively against her chest. The night passed quickly for everyone around her yet it seemed to stand still for Kaori, the moment of her daughter’s birth engrained forever in her mind. She was a mother now. Despite all the worries and fears she clung to in regards to how she would face Therek and the questioning eyes of her people, she couldn’t bring herself to care. There would be time to think about all that later. It was impossible to feel anything but joy as she looked down upon the peaceful face of her child.
The baby was so tiny. Fragile. It was hard to believe such a thing had come from her. A creation born of the love shared between her and Therek. Gazing down upon the tiny sleeping figure in her arms, she could see the resemblance between herself and the child, though there were features which reminded Kaori of the man whose blood flowed through those tiny veins along with her own. She was grateful the baby’s eyes had taken on the silver light of the Levadis family. Therek’s azure hue would have been too noticeable. Destructive to her plan of maintaining secrecy in regards to the father. The angular structure of the child’s chin and cheekbones may be reminiscent of the Losuva traits, but they would be easier to argue against. At least for now. It was too difficult to predict what the child would look like as she grew older. By then, it was possible the kingdom may already know the truth. Or will have given up on trying to figure it out.
A soft knock at the door signaled the arrival of someone to Kaori’s chambers, her chin lifting proudly to face whoever had come. Her bedside had been a constant fuss since the child was placed in her arms, everyone rushing to make sure she had every comfort she could desire. When Enslye and Pehrona finally retired to their own beds, Kaori thought she might cheer at the thought of finally having some peace. She hated to think that one of them may have already awoken to resume their hawkish watch. “Come in,” she called out softly, not wanting to risk waking the child. Being a mother remained new to Kaori. She wasn’t entirely sure what she would do if the baby woke.
To her relief it wasn’t the worried face of her physician who entered upon receiving Kaori’s permission. Instead, she smiled to find the unmistakable light of Nichele’s blue eyes staring back at her from the doorway, peering around the door before allowing herself to step into the room. Of anyone who might have come to visit, Nichele was the only one Kaori didn’t mind seeing. She was the most tolerable of the women granted a position as lady-in-waiting to the Queen, no doubt come to check on how Kaori fared in recovery.
“I am surprised to see you are still awake,” Nichele smiled, moving to allow enough room to close the door behind her. “You really should get some rest. I can watch over the child for a while, if you like.”
Heaving a tired sigh, Kaori shook her head, staring down at the baby still wrapped tightly in the blanket Enslye placed around her after she was born. “I am not quite ready to let her go,” she replied wistfully, leaning forward to rest her cheek against the soft skin of the child’s forehead. “You may stay, if you like, though,” she added, lifting her eyes to catch Nichele’s steady gaze. “There was something I hoped to speak with you on. Perhaps now would be a good time.”
Curious, Nichele stepped further into the room, her strides less dainty than those of the other ladies who had taken up residency at the Vor’shai palace. A reminder of her lower status prior to the war. Lacking in the social graces and gentleness of a noblewoman. It was one of the qualities Kaori appreciated in her. Something about her underprivileged upbringing made he
r seem more trustworthy. Less inclined to fall into the cruel gossip of the other ladies at court.
In the dim light of the few candles lit throughout the room, Nichele made her way to the high-backed chair positioned next to Kaori’s bed, carefully lowering herself onto it in fear of making too much noise. She looked nervous. Unsure of what business Kaori might have in desiring to speak with her. “Have I done something wrong, Your Majesty?”
Kaori couldn’t help but laugh, aware of how ominous her words must have sounded. “Do not worry, Nichele. I am not upset with you. On the contrary, I have done a great deal of thinking, and have decided that I am impressed with the loyalty you have shown since we first met in Voiene. It occurred to me that your family may not have been properly compensated for the work you have done in aiding our people.”
“I did not do any of this for compensation…”
“No, you did not, and that is exactly why I decided you are more deserving of recognition.” Lifting her head, Kaori cast a pleasant smile at Nichele through the candlelight. She wasn’t sure if this was the best setting for what she intended to do, but it was the only opportunity she foresaw having for quite some time. It was important she make her decision known before life returned to its hectic pace come morning. “I mean no disrespect, but I recall mention of your family being of little wealth and status. While you are well cared for here at the palace, I cannot help but think of your siblings who remain in Voiene. How do they fare now, after the war?”
Drawing in a deep breath Nichele lowered her eyes to stare down at the floor, giving a half-hearted shrug in response to Kaori’s inquiry. “They fare well enough, I suppose,” she frowned. “I send money whenever I can, but I fear it is not as much as I would like. My mother remains in care of five children in my absence and my father’s health is failing. He has not been able to work in some time.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning Page 91