The Ink That Brands Us: A Colorado Ink Novel

by Terra Deason

  The car ride home was quiet to my surprise and by the time we reached our street I was becoming suspicious. My mom was a chatty women and I had expected a slew of questions from her, but she seemed almost anxious. It was so unlike her.

  When we pulled into the driveway the reasons became clear.

  “What the fuck is he doing here?” I demanded when I spotted Josh’s car sitting in my old parking spot.

  “Watch your mouth, young lady!” My dad exclaimed. I never used curse words in front of them, but I mean seriously? What the fuck?

  “Now Freya. He showed up a few days ago asking if you were coming home. He wants to make amends and asked if he could surprise you. I thought it would be sweet.” Sweet my ass! She never liked him, so this made no sense what so ever.

  “Mother! I have a boyfriend.” Which was just an excuse because even if I didn’t have one I still didn’t want to see him.

  “I know, honey, but I thought it would be nice to catch up.”

  “I don’t want to see him!”

  “That’s hardy fair, Freya,” she chided me.

  I wished more than ever that Jensen had came with me. One look at him and Josh would run for the hills. But it looks like I’ll have to see what I can do to make him do that all on my own. Better get in there and make my boyfriend proud.

  With one last glare at my mom, I climbed out of the car and went inside leaving my mom and dad to grab my carry on. It was the least they could do. Josh was waiting in the living room and I stopped just inside the room. When he spotted me he climbed to his feet.

  He started towards me but I held a hand out.

  “What do you want?”

  “Freya!” My mother warned behind me, but I ignored her.

  “I guess that answers if you’re still mad at me.” he chuckled nervously and shifted from foot to foot.

  I sighed and looked to the heavens for support. There wasn’t any so I looked back to Josh.

  “No. I’m not still mad at you. I’m mad that my mom let you come here without talking to me first but no I’m not mad that you broke up with me.” It was the truth.

  “I wanted to surprise you,” he said weakly.

  “Well I’m surprised, but you have to go.” I motioned for the door.

  “What? Why?” He looked hurt.

  “I have a boyfriend, so it’s hardly appropriate for you to be here. He wouldn’t like it.” I watched his face carefully as he tried and failed to hide the hurt.

  “A boyfriend? That was fast.”

  “Yeah well you couldn’t have expected me to spend all this time pining after you.”

  “I guess not.” He said it slowly like it wasn’t true. “Well, I guess I should go then.”

  “Yes. You should.” I stepped to the side so he could move past me.

  He stopped when he reached the door and looked back to me.

  “It’s great to see you Freya.” He pulled the door open and left, not waiting for an answer.

  “I’m going to unpack!” I called and grabbed my bag.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I hurried to my room. I wanted to call Jensen before I had to spend time with my parents. Pulling my phone out I noticed he hadn’t answered my earlier message. Looking at the time it was still early in Colorado so there was a good chance he went home and back to bed.

  I dialed him anyway, but the voicemail answered. Leaving a short message, I hung up and started unpacking. I didn’t have much so it didn’t take long and I crawled into my bed to take a nap. I tossed and turned on my old bed and felt a little homesick for my apartment.

  My parents insisted on taking me to my favorite steakhouse for my homecoming dinner and I was more than happy to let them. They didn’t have this particular chain anywhere close to where I lived in Colorado, so I missed it. I ordered all my favorites and was stuffed by the time we were heading home.

  “Goodness, Freya!” My mom exclaimed after I cleared my plate. “Do you not eat in Colorado?”

  “Of course. We just don’t have one of these in Denver. This should hold me over until I come back again.”

  We chatted more about school and my job. My mom finally getting to the questions she didn’t earlier. She told me about what she had been up to. I was happy she and a few of her friends had started a book club. She seemed happy about it and dad didn’t seem to mind either.

  We talked well into the night and were one of the last few patrons left in the restaurant. We were having such a great time catching up and I was glad to see they were adjusting to an empty nest just fine. Their whole life revolved around me before and I had worried how they would do after I was gone. From what I could see they were better than ever.

  I had been so exhausted from the days travel and the late night that by the time we arrived back at the house I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow. It never occured to me that Jensen never messaged me back.

  Twenty-Eight

  The next night I found myself sitting on my bed staring down at my phone, silent tears streamed down my face. The pictures I had been looking at were the proof of my worst fears come true. The number that had sent then was unknown, but the images were clear.

  Jensen never texted or called me the night before and I couldn’t reach him the entire day. I tried not to worry, but now I knew why he wasn’t answering. He clearly had been too busy entertaining someone else while I was out of town.

  Christ, I had been played for a fool.

  Saw was right when she had warned me in the beginning. She told me he was a dog and I should’ve listened. He made me believe I was different, that I was something special, but the way he was holding onto this mystery girl and the way he leaned into her told a different story.

  My stomach rolled, and I forced myself to look away. Closing my eyes, I tried to get a handle on the whirlwind that were my thoughts. Thinking rationally, I knew I should call him and confront him. But I was never good at being rational. Anger surged in me and I gripped my phone tighter before letting out a strangled cry. With all my might, I hurled my phone at the wall. I almost smiled when it gave a satisfying crunch on impact before shattering to the floor.

  My world seemed to cave in around me and I felt as if I would suffocate under the weight of it all. The urge to run, to do something was overpowering. It made me feel like a tiger trapped in a cage looking for a way out.

  I ran to my closet and dug around for an old pair of tennis shoes, then found an old pair of track pants in one of my drawers. After I changed, I bounded down the stairs and out the door. I couldn’t be sure but I think my parents had called after me. I couldn’t stop though. I had to clear my head and running was the perfect escape.

  My feet pounded the pavement as I headed down the familiar road. My thoughts seemed to fall into place with each step I took. A plan was forming, and I ground in deeper pushing myself to run harder. I never wanted to stop, to go back to the wreck that was waiting for me when I returned.

  It was well into the early morning by the time I returned to my parents. My breathing was coming in rasps and the stitch in my side was demanding to be felt but I did my best to ignore the pain. As I limped my way up the drive, I noticed that the lights were all off.

  Guilt coursed through me as I realized my parents probably had stayed up as late as they could to wait for me. To my relief the door swung open quietly, and I realized this was the first time in my life that I ever snuck into this house. I’d never stayed out this late before; I always made curfew.

  It felt foolish to creep up the stairs like I was a teenager, but I did it anyway. I was too afraid that my parents would wake up and ask me why I ran out. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not to them or anyone. It felt like if I talked about it then it was real and right now I wasn’t ready for it to be anymore real.

  Once inside my room, I stripped out of my sweat drenched clothes and climbed into the bath. The warm water soothed my screaming muscles, and I welcomed the pain. It was a nice destructio
n from the real pain that I would soon be forced to deal with.

  By the time I emerged from the bathroom the sun was up and I could hear my parents moving around downstairs. It took me a while to dress, my muscles screamed with every movement. When finished, I sat on the bed and thought over my plan.

  While running I had decided that the best plan would be the one that caused the least amount of damage. To myself mainly. It was time to go into self-preservation mode. Plus, when I thought about telling Saw it made me want to hurl.

  Her and Jensen were the best of friends and this had the potential to mess that up. Not to mention the drama it could cause at work. No. I couldn’t tell her. Not right away at least. I wasn’t sure what I was going to tell her, but I would figure out something when the time came.

  The first part of my plan was to phone my old realtor. I picked up the phone and dialed her number. When she answered I explained to her that I was no longer happy in my current apartment. I fed her some lie about it being too big and crappy neighbors.

  She seemed to buy it until I told her that I wanted to transfer my lease into my roommates name. Her voice became suspicious, but she didn’t pry. She assured me that she would have everything settled when I returned to Colorado and she would phone me when she found me another apartment. I thanked her, then hung up.

  The second part of my plan was to find another job. This one would be much more difficult and probably more painful. Colorado Ink was an amazing place, and I loved working there, but I couldn’t stay. Not with Jensen there and I knew he wouldn’t leave.

  Pulling my laptop from my bag, I opened my Skype app and clicked June’s name.

  Freya: Is the bar hiring?

  It was early, but I knew she would be up. Her response was almost immediate.

  June: Yes.

  June: Why?

  Freya: I’m looking.

  June: What about the shop?

  Freya: It’s not going to work out.

  June: Answer your phone.

  Freya: I don't have one.

  June: If I get you the job, will you tell me what’s happening?

  Freya: You make it sound so simple.

  She didn’t reply right away, but when she did, my jaw dropped open.

  June: It is that easy. You start two weeks from tomorrow. I’m assuming you haven’t given your notice at the shop, so you’ll need to do that ASAP.

  My lips trembled, but I kept the tears at bay. Now was not the time to cry. There was still so much to do. I wiped at my face and replied to June.

  Freya: Thanks. I owe you one.

  June: Well, I’ll cash in right away then. Call me.

  Freya: Can’t. My phone’s in pieces.

  My computer chimed as an incoming video call came through. I took a deep breath and accepted the call. June’s frown greeted me when her face came into focus.

  “Sweetie, I hate to tell you this but you look a mess.” I didn’t doubt her one bit. “What happened to your phone?”

  “My wall broke it.” I tried to chuckle, but choked on it. It was an effort not to fall apart in front of my friend. Especially when she was giving me this no nonsense look that demanded I tell her everything. “Jensen cheated on me.” It was barely a whisper, and I wasn’t sure she could hear me, but the look of outrage on her face told me she did.

  “Oh, sweetie! Are you sure? How do you know?”

  “Some unknown number sent me pictures of him and another woman.” Tears trickled down my cheeks and I wiped at them quickly.

  “Have you told Saw?”

  This was the tricky part. She wasn’t going to be happy about what I was going to say next.

  “No,” I sighed.

  “Let’s call her! Maybe she will let us watch when she goes over to neuter him!” She smiled menacingly, and I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it only made me feel worse.

  “No. We can’t call her.” My voice was sharper than I intended.

  “And why not?” she demanded.

  “They’re like family, June. This will go one of two ways. She will either chose his side or it will tear them apart. I can’t lose her as a friend, but I can’t be responsible for messing them up either. I can't tell her, June.”

  “Freya!”

  “In time I will tell her but for now I want it to be between us. Okay?”

  “She will kill you when she finds out.”

  “I know.”

  “Whatever. It’s your funeral.”

  “Thanks June.”

  “So, what’s the plan when you come back? Surely you aren’t just going to go back to being roommates.” She looked a little confused now.

  “I talked to my realtor and she’s looking into finding me a new apartment. I’m signing my lease over to Jensen. I have a new job and will have a new apartment soon. I’m all set.”

  “This seems a little too fast, Freya. Are you sure about this? Giving up your amazing apartment and job? Have you at least talked to him?”

  “I’m sure about this and I don’t need to talk to him. He’ll just talk his way out of it. Plus, I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t think I could even look at him right now. Moving on is the best option.”

  “So you’re just going to let that jerk have your apartment?”

  It all seemed ridiculous, I know, but I couldn’t just stay there. I needed a clean break, and this was the best thing or me. I was doing what was best for me and I didn’t need anyone to understand it. Saving myself was my main focus.

  The house phone rang, saving me from having to answer her. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Fine. Call me as soon as you’re back in town.” She gave me a stern look, then ended the call.

  I sighed, then answered the ringing phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Good morning, Freya.” It was the realtor. “I have good news. I found you a little apartment closer to the school. It’s not as nice as the previous one, but the rent is a little cheaper. It should suit you just fine.”

  “Thank you! That was quicker than I expected. I really appreciate it.” And I really did. Even if my heart was shattering into a million pieces at the same time.

  “You sounded a little.... I don’t know… something in your voice,” she mumbled.

  “Thank you.”

  “I also arranged for movers to help you. That should make the transaction go a lot smoother. I talked to your current landlord and she is faxing me the new lease agreement for your roommate.”

  “Thank you so much.” A weight lifted off my shoulder though uneasiness settled into the pit of my stomach.

  “My pleasure, darling. Stop by my office as soon as you return and I will have all the paperwork ready.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you then.” I hung up, then picked the receiver backup and dialed Macks direct line at the shop.

  “Colorado Ink, this is Mack,” he answered on the third ring.

  “Hey Mack. It’s Freya.”

  “Baby girl!” Why did he have to sound so happy to hear from me? “How’s your holiday? It must not be too good if you ringing me.”

  “Oh, it’s going good,” I lied. He made a nose in the back of his throat and I knew he didn’t believe me so I wasted no time in getting down to business. “Listen Mack, I’m calling because I’m putting in my two weeks.”

  “You’re what! Why? What happened?” He was angry. I had expected this. “Did something happen between you and Jensen?” Sometimes he had a way of just knowing things. It really was inconvenient.

  “Oh, um, no. I um, got a new job offer and um, I couldn’t turn it down.” I sputtered. I was never good at lying.

  “Damn, baby girl. I hate to lose you but if this is what you want, then I won’t hold you back.” Translation: I don’t believe you, but I won’t stop you. “The crew isn’t gonna be happy about this.”

  “Please don’t tell them yet. I’d like to do it when I return.”

  “You haven’t told Jensen or Saw?”

&n
bsp; “Ah, no.” I scrambled for an excuse. “It’s not something I want to break to them over the phone.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “Thanks, Mack.” My voice caught on the sob that was building. “I-I gotta go. I’ll see you when I get back.” Without waiting for him to respond I slammed the receiver down.

  The pain was burning me up and I felt like it was going to split me through the middle. This was all too much to handle. Just like that the life I built in Colorado was gone and I wasn’t sure I would ever get it back. And right now that was a damn shame.

  Twenty-Nine

  To say that I was a mess was putting it lightly.

  My parents knew something was up but kept their distance. Even when I insisted that I return to Colorado as soon as possible. The night before I was due to leave my mom tried to have a talk with me but I couldn’t talk about it. Not yet. I promised to call her as soon as I returned to Colorado and explain everything. She wasn’t happy, but she didn’t push it.

  Right before my plane was due to board I informed her of my broken phone and told her that I may not call her right away. She was furious and demanded that I take some money from her and buy a new one as soon as I landed. I didn’t bother arguing. Stuffing the money in my purse, I went to catch my flight.

  Unlike the last time I landed in Colorado, I didn’t feel like relieved to be home. Mostly I felt lost and for the first time I felt like I didn’t belong. Facing the unknown was scary and here I stood facing it all on my own. Thank God I was all cried out.

  Throwing my carry on bag over my shoulder, I headed to the cab area. I hadn’t told anyone I was back so there wasn’t anyone here to welcome me home. It was how I wanted it. At least that’s what I kept trying to tell myself. I didn’t believe it either.