[Ben Whittle Investigations 01.0] The Revelation Room

by Mark Tilbury

  Ebb closed his eyes. The ground swayed beneath his feet.

  Sister Alice reached out and took his arm. ‘You look… tired, Father.’

  Ebb tried to smile. Tried to reassure her. He liked Sister Alice. She would be spared when the bunnies burned. ‘I am tired, Sister.’

  ‘Would you like to rest, Father?’

  Ebb tried to open his eyes, but the lids were too heavy. It was as if someone had placed pennies on them after death. ‘There’s much work to do, Sister.’

  ‘That’s why you need to rest, Father. You need to be strong.’

  Ebb ground his teeth as the buzzing in his head escalated. ‘Satan is among us now. I can smell his foul breath on the wind.’

  ‘We shall fight him, Father,’ Sister Alice promised.

  Ebb forced his eyes open. Satan was blocking his thoughts. ‘Be careful.’

  ‘We shall be vigilant, Father.’

  Ebb’s eyes rolled back in his head. ‘It’s time to put the bunnies to bed.’

  ‘The bunnies?’

  Ebb fell to the floor. He twitched and jerked like a man in the midst of an exorcism.

  22

  Ben watched the group fuss around their leader. He turned his head towards Bubba. ‘Please help me.’

  Bubba stared ahead, silent and still as a tombstone.

  Sister Alice took charge of the situation. ‘Get back and let the Father breathe.’

  ‘What’s up with him?’ Sister Dixie asked.

  ‘He’s having an epileptic fit.’

  ‘He looks like someone’s plugged him into the mains.’

  Alice knelt beside Ebb. ‘Don’t be so disrespectful.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  Alice grabbed Ebb’s arms and pinned them down. ‘It’s okay, Father. It’s okay.’

  Ben pleaded with Bubba again to help him.

  Bubba mouthed something unintelligible.

  ‘He’s going to kill me.’

  Bubba shook his head. He reached out and touched Ben’s shoulder.

  ‘Will you help me?’

  Bubba took his hand away.

  ‘Why can’t you talk?’

  Bubba didn’t answer.

  ‘Sorry. Dumb question. Can you sign?’

  Bubba stared ahead.

  Ebb ceased thrashing about on the floor.

  Alice turned to Emily. ‘Fetch the Father some water.’

  Emily scurried out of the barn, her bare feet kicking up puffs of dust.

  Ebb peered up at Sister Alice. ‘Where’s the shovel?’

  Sister Alice wiped his forehead with a white lace handkerchief. ‘Shovel? What shovel, Father?’

  Ebb pushed her hand away. ‘Who are you? Declare yourself.’

  ‘I’m Sister Alice, Father. You had a – turn.’

  Ebb sat up and looked about him. ‘I was attacked.’

  ‘Attacked, Father?’

  ‘By Satan.’

  For the next five minutes, Ben watched the group fuss around Ebb, hanging onto his every word like medieval servants in the presence of a great messiah. Ben wouldn’t have been too surprised if they’d all fallen to their knees and fought over the exclusive right to kiss his feet.

  Ebb allowed Dixie and Alice to help him to his feet. He dusted himself down and tightened the black sash securing his robe. ‘Get back into line. We need to drive Satan out. The sooner we get to grips with this, the better it will be for everyone.’

  As the group reassembled behind him, Ebb pulled the hatpin from his pocket and walked over to the cross. ‘Benjamin?’

  Ben looked away.

  Ebb turned back to the group. ‘Satan scurries around inside Benjamin like a cornered rat. But let me tell you, he cannot escape the judgement of God.’

  ‘Satan isn’t inside me,’ Ben shouted.

  Ebb examined the pin. ‘Satan is inside all sinners, Benjamin. And you are a sinner. The first step towards salvation is admitting your guilt.’

  ‘How the fuck can I admit to something when I don’t even know what it is?’

  Ebb waved a hand. ‘Blah, blah, blah. I expect nothing better than puerile denial and profanity from you. Let me help you. You have many things to choose from. Let’s start with gluttony.’

  Ben stared at the hatpin. ‘Gluttony?’

  ‘Are you guilty of the sin of gluttony?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Judging by the look of you, probably not. You look like a bag of bones after the butcher’s dog has finished with them.’

  Ben’s mind refused point blank to think. He watched Ebb wave the hatpin in the air like someone attempting to cast spells.

  Ebb held the pin up and placed his other hand on his chest. ‘I admit to being guilty of the sin of gluttony once. I, too, have sinned. But let me tell you, as God is my witness, I opened my heart to Jesus. The Lord Jesus Christ brought me into the light.’

  ‘Praise Jesus,’ Sister Alice shouted.

  Ebb turned to face the group. ‘What was your sin, Sister Dixie?’

  ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of lust.’

  ‘Are you now cured of the sin of lust?’

  Dixie bowed her head. ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb looked at Sister Emily. ‘And you, child?’

  ‘Forgive me, Father, for I am guilty of the sin of sloth.’

  ‘How so, sister?’

  Emily stared straight ahead with those expressionless eyes. ‘I was lazy of mind, Father. I did not stand up for the things I believed in. I allowed myself to be led into temptation.’

  ‘Are you now cured of the sin of sloth, Sister Emily?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘Sister Alice?’

  ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of avarice. I longed for the attainment of wealth and jewels and material possessions.’

  ‘Are you now cured of the sin of avarice?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb turned to Bubba. ‘Brother Bubba was guilty of the sin of pride, weren’t you, my friend?’

  Bubba nodded his head.

  ‘Brother Bubba is now cured of his sin, aren’t you, Brother?’

  Bubba nodded, eyes staring straight ahead.

  Ebb looked at Ben. ‘Brother Tweezer was guilty of the sin of wrath. Brother Marcus, sloth. Lazy as a leech in a blood bank that one. Brother Gerald carried the sin of envy. Do you see where we’re going with this, Benjamin?’

  Up shit creek without a teaspoon, Ben thought.

  Ebb pursed his lips. ‘First thing you need to do is fess up, as our colourful American cousins might say.’

  Ben looked from Ebb to the hatpin. He was willing to “fess up” to anything right now. Anything to make this lunatic go away.

  Ebb took a deep breath. ‘Gluttony, sloth, envy, avarice, pride, wrath or lust? Take your pick, Benjamin.’

  ‘I am guilty of the sin of sloth, Father.’

  ‘A lazy spirit?’

  Ben agreed.

  ‘Guilty of picking fruit from another man’s tree?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘Bathing in the sweat of his labour?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘Climbing on the back of the weary traveller?’

  Ben struggled for breath. ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘Stealing a poor man’s bread, that he should starve whilst you fill your bloated belly?’

  Ben looked at his stomach and almost laughed. ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb bent over in front of Ben. ‘Then we must purge you of your sin, Benjamin.’

  ‘Please. I—’

  Ebb jabbed the hatpin into the sole of Ben’s right foot. Deep. Tweezer-deep, you might say.

  Ben screamed. Molten lava flowed through his foot. His shoulders erupted in a fresh ball of flame.

  Ebb stood up. ‘You are guilty of the sin of sloth. May the Lord Jesus Christ forgive you.’

  Ben writhed on the cross.

  Ebb paced back and forth like an evangelist on a stage
. ‘Admission to sin is the first step on the road to redemption. Let it be known that Benjamin has now confessed to the sin of sloth. Now we can exorcise Satan from his body.’

  ‘Satan’s not in me,’ Ben shouted.

  Ebb held up a hand. ‘Words are just wrappings for poisonous thoughts.’

  ‘I’m telling the truth.’

  Ebb waved the hatpin in the air. ‘Your truth and my truth hail from different continents, Benjamin.’

  Ben was about to protest, but arguing with Ebb was like arguing with fog.

  ‘You are no better than the mealy-mouthed scum who litter the streets on a Friday night,’ Ebb continued. ‘They all talk a good fight, fuelled by the demon drink, but put them in a uniform and ask them to fight for Queen and Country, and they’d piss their pants at the first whine of a bullet.’

  Ben tried to keep still. The slightest movement set off flares in his body. ‘Can I please have some water?’

  ‘You are in a period of fasting, Benjamin.’

  ‘I feel sick.’

  ‘You’re bound to be queasy. Satan is like a rotten tooth. Your instinct is to resist the dentist, even though you know extraction will make you better in the long run.’

  ‘I just want water.’

  Ebb turned away and addressed the group. ‘He will resist, but we shall be strong. Satan’s instinct is to procure sympathy. But we must never be fooled by his foolery.’

  ‘I’m not trying to fool any—’

  Ebb turned around and clapped his hands at Ben like a teacher trying to form order in a classroom. ‘Silence. I’ve suffered enough of your insubordination. Speak only when spoken to.’

  Ben closed his mouth.

  Ebb turned to Alice. ‘Sister?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘I want you to fetch a lighter, a flannel, and a bowl of antiseptic liquid.’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘What are you going to do?’ Ben demanded.

  Ebb turned around again. ‘Do you think I want to give Satan prior knowledge of my intentions?’

  Ben closed his eyes. He prayed to Pastor Tom’s god. A god with compassion. A god who represented the power of good. A god that would surely condemn Edward Ebb to the flames of Hell one day.

  Ebb closed his eyes. ‘I ask you to guide me, Lord, as we seek to remove Satan from this wretched mortal being. I ask you to help me cleanse Benjamin’s soul, that he may be pure and whole and ready to serve you.’

  Ebb’s bald head looked like a glass dome in the glow of the lanterns. He still had the hatpin clutched in one hand. His robe was open at the top, revealing a crop of black hair sprouting from his flabby chest.

  Sister Alice returned five minutes later with a bowl of steaming water. She placed the bowl on the ground in front of the cross and then took a disposable lighter from the pocket of her robe. She handed it to Ebb. The smell of Dettol wafted up to Ben, reminding him of his mother’s obsession with the stuff when he was a kid. Every cut and scrape would bring forth the Dettol, complete with cotton wool balls and a put-Humpty-together-again smile.

  Ebb gave an exaggerated bow. ‘Thank you, Sister Alice. Please join Sister Dixie and Sister Emily.’

  Ben watched the three women link arms, Sister Alice in the middle. Ebb then instructed Bubba to stand in position beside the cross and remain vigilant.

  Ben wondered what the hell for; he was hardly going to slip out of the restraints and spring from the cross like David Blaine, was he?

  Ebb stood before Ben. ‘Are you prepared?’

  ‘How the fuck can I be prepared?’

  ‘The Devil makes a fine fork of toasting your tongue, Benjamin. But taking hostage of your tongue will serve no purpose, other than to strengthen my resolve. Is that clear to both of you?’

  Ben asked Pastor Tom’s God to strike Ebb down. He wasn’t listening.

  Ebb looked up at the rafters. ‘This sinner has confessed to the sin of sloth, Lord. A weak spirit who leeches upon the blood of others. He has shown a flagrant disregard for the welfare of others, and a propensity towards self-obsession. What shall be his punishment?’

  Ben followed Ebb’s gaze, half-expecting to see the Devil straddling a beam. Apart from dozens of cobwebs hanging from the rafters like ghostly hammocks, the beams were as bare as Ben’s body.

  Ebb clasped his hands in front of him. ‘I ask you to guide us with your everlasting light, Lord. Guide us as we endeavour to drive Satan from Benjamin’s body.’

  ‘Let me go,’ Ben shouted.

  ‘By order of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command you to be silent, Satan.’ Ebb fell to his knees and bowed his head right down to the ground.

  For one crazy moment, Ben thought that God had answered his prayers and struck the bastard down with a heart attack.

  Ebb stayed this way for almost ten minutes, occasionally bobbing his head up and down like a chicken pecking corn. He then climbed to his feet and addressed the three women. ‘Jesus has spoken.’

  ‘Praise Jesus,’ Sister Alice shouted.

  Tears shimmered in Ebb’s bloodshot eyes. ‘Jesus has accepted Benjamin’s confession. Praise Jesus.’

  ‘Praise Jesus,’ the three women agreed.

  ‘But Jesus has warned us to be wary. The lazy are inclined towards deception. We must leave no stone unturned in Benjamin’s rehabilitation.’

  ‘We shall watch him closely, Father,’ Alice said.

  Ebb turned to Ben. ‘Are you ready to reject the ways of Satan?’

  Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, Ben’s mind chanted like a mantra.

  ‘Answer the Father,’ Sister Alice said.

  Ben was ready to crawl across hot coals to get off the cross. ‘Yes.’

  Ebb rambled on: ‘Jesus has told me you are to complete fourteen days hard labour and fourteen days of fasting following the Night of Naked Reconciliation. Do you accept Jesus’s ruling?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Ebb held the hatpin held out in front of him like a sparkler on Bonfire Night. He heated the tip of the pin with the lighter.

  ‘What the fuck—’

  ‘It’s time for you to leave, Satan,’ Ebb announced. ‘Jesus has instructed me to mark you with the sign of the cross.’

  ‘No… please… don’t….’

  Ebb ignored him. ‘You will leave Benjamin’s body, Satan. By the order of the Lord Jesus Christ. You are not welcome here.’

  ‘N-n-n-no.’

  Ebb scratched the red-hot tip of the pin across Ben’s hairless chest. The skin sizzled and scorched as the hot metal burned into the flesh. Ebb then drew the pin down towards Ben’s naval.

  Ben screamed and twisted his head from side to side. Spit frothed in the corners of his mouth.

  ‘Jesus suffered for you, Benjamin. He suffered so that a sinner like you might be saved.’

  Ben opened his mouth to scream again, but unconsciousness afforded him temporary respite. His head rolled to one side, resting on his right shoulder.

  Ebb turned to Bubba. ‘You stay with him until I relieve you.’

  Bubba nodded.

  ‘Sister Alice, Sister Dixie? Go to my quarters and release Madeline. Take her to the Sisters’ Room and see that she’s comfortable.’

  ‘Is that wise, Father?’ Alice asked.

  ‘Why do you ask?’

  ‘Is she purged?’

  Ebb regarded Alice as though she’d just questioned his sanity. ‘Jesus Christ told me to release her.’

  Alice bowed her head. ‘Yes, Father. Sorry, Father.’

  ‘I’ve got urgent business to attend to, so if you’re done with the questions?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb turned to Emily. ‘You can sanitise Benjamin’s wounds. Then you are to return to the Sisters’ Room. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb dipped the tip of the hatpin into the bowl of water and then walked out of the barn into the cool night air.

  23

  Ebb panted and wheezed as he reached the top
of the fifty-foot tower. Either those steps were getting longer, or he was getting shorter. As soon as the weather cooled, he would embark on an exercise programme designed to offload weight. Not that he was fat. Not in relation to some of the gluttonous lard-arses waddling up and down the High Street, the contents of Pizza Hut jiggling in their jogging bottoms. The Lord had profound rules regarding gluttony.

  Ebb blamed his propensity towards carrying a few extra pounds on a faulty gene inherited from his unknown father. It certainly hadn’t come from his stick insect of a mother.

  Marcus lurched around the corner. ‘Father? What brings you up here?’

  Ebb scowled and stared down the barrel of the rifle. ‘Will you point that blessed thing in another direction?’

  Marcus lowered the gun. ‘Sorry, Father.’

  ‘We’ve got problems.’

  ‘Problems?’

  Ebb was sorely tempted to poke him in the eye. Why did he always have to respond to a question with a question? Apart from being infuriating, it was damned well rude. ‘Yes, problems. You know, puzzle, puzzle, riddle, riddle?’

  ‘Sorry, Father. Is it the new recruits?’

  ‘This isn’t the army, Brother Marcus.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘And stop saying “sorry”. It’s tiresome. It makes me believe you’re hiding something.’

  ‘I’m not hiding anything, Father.’

  ‘The guilty flee where none pursues. Perhaps you’ve been having a toke on the wacky-baccy?’

  ‘No, Father.’

  ‘I hope not. Polluting your brain with that smog might prove a dangerous pastime, Pixie-pea. It’s a long way to fall from the tower, don’t you think?’

  Marcus looked at the sheer fifty-foot drop. ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘There used to be a lock keeper at Briers lock. Len Bunyan. Big Lenny, they called him. Big buffoon, more like. He was partial to a drink. So partial he ended up falling into the lock and drowning. Do you see the point I’m trying to make here?’

  ‘Yes, Father.’

  Ebb moved from water to flames. ‘If you play with fire, you get burned.’

  Marcus looked at him with those I’m-up-to-something eyes. ‘Yes, Father.’

  ‘And we all know what happens to bad bunnies. But I haven’t climbed all the way up here to lecture you on the dangers of drug abuse. Suffice to say, a fool and his brain are soon parted.’