Of Introductions and Abductions

by Robert Dahlen

  “So!” Wrexham said, rubbing his hands. “Come to witness my impending triumph?”

  “You're almost finished with the Sunday crossword?” Michiko said.

  “So you actually came to mock me. As usual.”

  “No,” Beth said. “We're here to accuse you of framing the hobgoblins for Puck's kidnapping as a pretense for invading the Hoblands.”

  Wrexham laughed. “Ah, Monkey Queen, your friend is so amusing. Don't you think so, Puck?”

  “She always seemed quite mad to me, my liege,” Puck said with a sneer.

  “Not this time,” Beth said. “Michiko?”

  Michiko nodded. “To begin with, Duke, your house has coveted the Hoblands for decades, right? Ever since the Uprising?”

  “I have honored the Compact,” Wrexham said. “The hobgoblins chose not to.”

  “Robyn?”

  The faerie emerged from behind a tree. “With all due respect, Duke,” she said, “I have spent a great deal of time recently in the Forest Guard near the Hoblands, observing the hobgoblins. They have not violated the Compact.”

  “Except in the matter of my kidnapping!” Puck shouted. “Which Duke Wrexham rescued me from!”

  “A rescue that no one witnessed,” Beth said, “and that no one knew about until you two showed up after we visited the hobgoblin warehouse nearby. Which was after we had to break through a barrier spell, which the hobgoblins couldn't have created, to find evidence that was planted there.”

  “And I would have walked right into that barrier,” Michiko said, “if Beth hadn't seen something there.”

  “Which means that the barrier wasn't a safeguard,” Beth said. “It was a trap for the Monkey Queen.”

  “Which reminds me,” Michiko said. “I fought several hobgoblins in front of that alley. During the fight, I hit one of them on the right side of his face.”

  “I had disrupted their seemings earlier,” Beth said, “but they still looked fuzzy to me. I didn't realize it at the time, but they had overlaid one seeming on top of another.”

  “And Beth noticed something odd at the party,” Michiko said. “Cantwick had a seeming covering his face. Why would he need one?”

  Beth picked up on her cue. She glanced at Cantwick, looked beneath the surface and blinked. “That's why,” she said as the seeming vanished, revealing Cantwick's black eye.

  “So, Cantwick,” Michiko asked, “where did you get that shiner?” The faerie reflexively covered his right eye. “From fighting me,” she said, “while you and the others were disguised as hobgoblins. Just like the faeries who kidnapped Puck.”

  “And there's your conclusion,” Beth said. “Duke Wrexham was behind Puck's kidnapping, and set things up to pin the blame on the hobgoblins. He was going to use it as justification to attack the Hoblands, and to get his revenge on Puck.”

  “I've had enough of this nonsense and supposition!” Duke Wrexham said, folding his arms. “Guards!”

  “No.” All eyes turned to Robyn. “As a captain of the Forest Guard, and acting with legal authority, I am ordering you to stop, Duke. Please continue, Monkey Queen.”

  “Thank you!” Michiko said. The Duke looked apoplectic as Michiko continued, “The supposition, then, is that Duke Wrexham staged the kidnapping. But if he did, why would Puck be in on the plan? He hated Wrexham.”

  “But we have an answer,” Beth said. “Duke Wrexham, I'm sure you remember your former chief chef?”

  With that, a tall, awkward-looking faerie soldier stumbled up. With a blink, Beth removed Gregor's makeshift seeming. “Um…good morning, Duke?” Aloysius said.

  “Since he left your employment,” Michiko said, “he's been here on Earth, working in an Emigre cafe. The same one where Puck has breakfast every Sunday.”

  “Now since Puck was kidnapped and rescued,” Beth said, “his behavior has changed. Besides hanging out with someone he used to actively dislike, he was cold and mean-spirited to his friends. But there was another change. Aloysius?”

  “Yes?”

  “Before the kidnapping, what did Puck eat for breakfast every Sunday?”

  “The Flaming Pits of Hades omelet,” the chef said. “With extra jalapenos.”

  “Enough!” Puck shouted. “What does this—”

  “She's not finished!” Michiko screamed with a smile. Caught by surprise, Puck fell silent.

  “Thanks,” Beth said. “Now, Aloysius, what did Puck have for breakfast yesterday?”

  “A Belgian waffle,” he said. “With whipped cream and blueberries.”

  “And he finished it?”

  “All of it.”

  “You are a ridiculous little fool, girl,” Puck said, glaring scornfully at Beth. “So I decided to eat something different for breakfast. Why are you treating that like a major revelation?”

  “Because I know the real Puck well enough to know that he's allergic to blueberries.” Beth smiled from ear to ear. “You're not Puck.”

  He screamed and took one step towards Beth. She reared back and threw open her purse. “Gregor!” she shouted. “Now!” Gregor popped out of the bag and spoke three words in an ancient tongue. Puck fell to the ground, writhing in agony. As he did, he started to change, to grow.

  “He's a shapeshifter,” Michiko said. “He and Duke Wrexham plotted together to get the Duke his revenge on Puck, and help him with his plan to take over the Hoblands. They kidnapped the real Puck.”

  “What happened to him?” Aloysius asked.

  “Gregor's spell,” Beth said. “It's forcing the shapeshifter back into his natural form.”

  As she finished, the shapeshifter rose, all traces of Puck gone. He was hairless, with teal green skin, the barest hint of ears and nose, and oversized, cruel black eyes. He glared at Michiko and Beth but said nothing.

  Wrexham walked up to him. “This—this is just another seeming!” he said, smiling unconvincingly. “A trick by the Monkey Queen and the hobgoblins! This is why—”

  The shapeshifter grabbed Wrexham. “I grow tired of your prattling, Duke,” he said with a sneer. He hurled the faerie into Cantwick and his men nearby, sending them sprawling.

  He spun to face Michiko. “As for you, Monkey Queen, if you ever want to see your friend again, you'll have to catch me.” He turned and ran. Michiko sprinted after him, with Robyn hot on her heels.

  Beth followed after them, trying desperately to keep the others in sight. She dashed out of the plaza and into an alley where she saw a black door-shaped shadow at the far end. As she watched, the shapeshifter stepped into it. “A porth,” Beth said as Michiko and Robyn chased him through.

  “Girl,” Gregor said, “you do know this may be a trap.”

  “I know,” Beth said. “It couldn't be any more obvious if there was a big neon sign saying 'trap here'. But Michiko may need your help, and someone has to carry you.” She swallowed hard and walked into the porth.

  Chapter Eleven

  Aloysius had activated his seeming and slipped away in the chaos following the shapeshifter's unmasking. He made his way across the plaza, where the others were waiting. “What word?” asked Scylla, who was now wearing black robes over armor, with a sword at her side. Mandy and Mec were next to her; Windsor was off to the side, keeping watch.

  “It's not good.” Aloysius sighed, his seeming disappearing. “Michiko was right, but the whatever it was that was pretending to be Puck ran off, and she went after him with Beth, Gregor and Robyn.”

  “And the Duke?”

  “Still planning on opening the auldgate to the Hoblands.”

  “All right. We need to figure out how—”

  “Scylla!” Windsor said. He pointed; the others could see someone running off into the distance, fiddling with his belt. “Hobgoblin.”

  “What is he doing here?” Mandy asked.

  “No good,” Mec said. He pointed behind a bench.

  They hurried over and saw what the hobgoblin had left there. It was a round bronze sphere adorned with spikes and wires. It was
glowing. “What is that thing?” Windsor asked.

  “Whatever it is, it looks…wrong. And frightening.” Mandy shivered.

  “It should.” Mec looked back at the others. “It's a hobgoblin bomb.”

  “Oh Lords and Ladies.” Mandy paled.

  Scylla scowled. “That must have been Krexx. He must have heard about the invasion and thought this would stop it.”

  Mec was already taking tools from his belt. “Scylla, I'll need a protective sphere around me and the bomb,” he said. “With an airhole, please, but set it to seal if the bomb goes off.” The faerie gestured and narrowed her eyes, and the air around Mec and the bomb began to shimmer and solidify.

  “Be careful, sweetie,” Mandy said.

  “I'll try, but the problem is, hobgoblin bombs are unstable.” Mec's voice echoed inside the shield as he eyed the device. “Even the makers don't know when they'll go off or how powerful they'll be, due to the mechanical components not always being compatible with the magical ones. And it looks like this was thrown together quickly, so it'll be even more unstable.”

  “So that means…” Windsor said.

  “It could take out just the plaza, or the town and the surrounding woods, or everything in a fifty mile radius.” The gremlin knelt in front of the bomb. “And it could detonate any minute now, so let's hope that this is set to go off later, rather than sooner.”

  “Can you defuse it?”

  Mec pried a panel off with the blade of a screwdriver. “I'm pretty sure I can. I'd feel a lot more comfortable if you guys were somewhere safe, though.”

  “Where?” Mandy asked.

  “Try Los Angeles.” Mec lowered his goggles and started to work.

  Beth sighed with relief as she stepped through the porth without being assaulted. She saw the lightpath at her feet and whispered, “Gregor, stay down. There could be more shadow rooks.” Gregor nodded as Beth closed the purse and started down the passageway.

  She followed the lightpath silently, glancing around in the darkness, trying not to jump at every echo. After what felt like a century, she finally caught up with Michiko and Robyn. “There you are!” Michiko said.

  “We seem to have a problem,” Robyn said. She pointed down at the ground, and Beth saw that the lightpath ended a few yards away from them.

  “So,” Michiko said, “did anyone bring a flashlight?”

  “I've got two.” Beth dug into her jacket pocket; as she did, her purse slid down her arm.

  A long, snaky tail suddenly slithered out of the darkness and coiled around Michiko's arms and torso, quickly tightening. Her staff flew out of her hand, hitting Beth's arm and sliding to the floor; Beth winced as her purse slipped off her arm. Michiko struggled against the tail, but it lifted her up and whipped her around before slamming her to the ground. She lay face down and still.

  The shapeshifter emerged from the shadows. His new form was half-humanoid, with a long, thin but muscular snake-like tail replacing his lower torso and legs. He unwound his tail from Michiko's limp form and smiled cruelly.

  “Michiko!” Beth screamed, running towards her. Before she could get to her partner, the shapeshifter backhanded her in her stomach. Beth fell to her knees, gasping in pain.

  Robyn raised her sword and took a step towards the shapeshifter. “I would recommend against that,” he said. He snapped his fingers, and two ogres stepped from the shadows and flanked him. “My mistress wants all of you alive, but I may not feel the same way. Drop your weapon now, or the humans die here.”

  With a look of disgust, Robyn laid her sword on the ground and stepped back. As she did, her foot bumped into Beth's purse; she instinctively kicked it back and away.

  The shapeshifter picked up Michiko and threw her over his shoulder. “You two each escort one of the women,” he said to the ogres. As one grabbed Robyn and the other lifted Beth, he added, “Bring their weapons.”

  The ogre carrying Robyn picked up her sword. The other bent and tried to lift Michiko's staff. “It's too heavy,” he said, grunting from the effort.

  “Weakling!” The other ogre chortled. “It's just wood!”

  The shapeshifter walked over and tried to lift the staff. Despite his efforts, it stuck as if it had been welded to the ground. “Leave it, then,” he said. He set off back into the dark, the ogres following with their captives.

  Windsor had gone to search the plaza for other hobgoblin bombs. Scylla was concentrating on maintaining the shield around Mec. Mandy chewed her knuckle nervously, tears rimming her eyes. Aloysius was behind her, trying his best to comfort her.

  As they watched, Mec carefully reached inside the bomb with a pair of tweezers. He slowly lifted a glowing orange gem out. He yanked a small glass containment jar from his belt, popped the hinged lid open and gently set the gem inside. He closed the lid and spoke softly; the lid sealed in place.

  The bomb stopped glowing.

  “All clear,” Mec said with a smile as he started to put his tools away. The protective sphere vanished.

  “That's it?” Aloysius said.

  “That's it.” Mec stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “We're all safe.” Aloysius sighed and wiped his brow. Mandy ran over to Mec and hugged him.

  “Thank you for not blowing us up, Mec,” Windsor said as he rejoined the others.

  “My pleasure,” the gremlin said as he picked up the deactivated bomb. “See anything?”

  “I did. It's not another bomb, but it's still not good.”

  “The auldgate's open?” Scylla asked.

  “Not yet,” Windsor said, “but from what I could hear, it won't be long. And a half-dozen of Wrexham's elite guard are surrounding the wizards.”

  “So getting to them would be a bit difficult.”

  “It may be getting worse,” Aloysius said. “Look.” He pointed at a group of patrolling faerie soldiers. They had seen him and the others, and were marching towards them.

  Mandy gulped. “I thought you meant the other soldiers coming up behind us.” She pointed to another patrol.

  “Can I go back to bed now?” Aloysius asked.

  “Robyn?” Beth said. “I think she's coming around.”

  Michiko groaned and shook her head. “Did anyone get the number of that aircraft carrier?” she said.

  “Are you all right?” Robyn asked.

  “I think so.” Michiko started to stand, but dropped back to her knees. She looked down and saw the shackles on her wrists and ankles.

  Beth rattled her shackles. “They weren't taking any chances.” Next to her, Robyn, also shackled, nodded.

  “This isn't a good thing, is it?”

  “No.”

  “So what happened?”

  “The shapeshifter ambushed us,” Robyn said. “He knocked you out, then threatened you and Beth if I didn't surrender.”

  “And,” Beth said, “he had two ogres with him. I think one of them was the ogre you rescued me from the night we met.”

  “Sunshine?” Michiko asked.

  “Pardon?” Robyn blinked.

  “Private joke,” Beth said. The faerie nodded.

  Michiko glanced around the room. It was small and was being used for storage, with bedding and cleaning supplies scattered about. There were two doors on opposite walls. “Any idea where those doors go?” she asked.

  “No,” Robyn said. “We've seen the shapeshifter and the ogres going back and forth.”

  “How did we get in?”

  “The porth is behind you,” Beth said.

  “Where's my staff?”

  “It's back through the porth. No one could lift it, so they left it behind.”

  “Okay,” Michiko said. “Where's Gregor?”

  “Don't you remember?” Beth said. “We left him with the others, so he could try to keep Wrexham from opening the auldgate to the Hoblands.” Robyn nodded furiously.

  Michiko raised an eyebrow. Then, she asked, “So, which door goes to the bathroom? I…I really need to pee.” She blushed.

  �
��You too?” Beth said.

  “Dibs on the bathroom!”

  “Well, I didn't need to go,” Robyn said, “until you two mentioned it!” Michiko laughed.

  “I'm giving them five minutes,” Beth said. “Then, I'm going in one of those buckets.” Michiko laughed again, and Robyn smiled slightly.

  One of the doors flew open. The shapeshifter, back in his human form, strode in. “You're awake, Monkey Queen!” he said. “That's good news. My mistress is waiting.” He smiled cruelly.

  “Halt!” the patrol leader said. “State your names and purpose.”

  “No archers?” Scylla said. “How fortunate. Mandy? Do you remember what Michiko told you to do?”

  The pixie nodded and exchanged nervous smiles with Mec. Then, she spread her wings and took to the sky.

  The faerie soldiers stared at her for a moment. Then, they turned and advanced on Scylla. “Gentlemen,” she said. “Before you come any closer, a warning.”

  The soldiers stopped. “Good,” Scylla said. “Now, you will notice that one of my companions is, to put it mildly, frightening. Another is a gremlin, and trust me, he has more tricks than he has sanity.

  “The faerie next to me is Windsor. You may have heard of him. He's here on Earth because he's wanted in three houses for various crimes of property and propriety. But each of those houses wants the other two to make the first move, for no one in any of them wish to face him in a swordfight.

  “I'm sure you've heard of me. I am Scylla. I'm the Emigre who the Dukes don't want to return. They fear me.” She smiled and laid her hand on the hilt of her sword. “So should you.”

  The soldiers took a step back. Windsor started to draw his sword. The soldiers stepped back further. Aloysius cracked his knuckles. Mec brandished the deactivated bomb and cackled madly. The soldiers turned and ran.

  “That worked,” Mec said, lowering the bomb.

  “Thank goodness,” Aloysius said. “I was about to throw up.”

  “What now?” Windsor asked.

  “We retreat,” Scylla said, “and we hope that Michiko's plan B works.”