Our Song

by Savannah Kade

  Holding the phone down in front of himself he clicked the call off. He’d made it through round one. How many more rounds he had to go, he didn’t know.

  He walked across the gravel and in through the back door of the theater. Hands were everywhere, running wires, setting up drums, adjusting lights. In just a few hours the lights would be turned down and people would be finding seats and buying beer. The lights wouldn’t even go dark before Wilder came out. And no one knew who the opening act was.

  Except Kelsey. And she was in Nashville.

  He woke up in time to beat everyone else to the front of the bus. He was dog tired, but he had reason to be awake. He was watching the flatlands of west Tennessee start to buckle and roll. On the east side of the state, the land would give rise to the Smokies, but he wouldn’t go that far.

  Nashville was only about an hour away. A scene from a movie came to mind of a young couple standing on a Nashville roof top and yelling at the top of their lungs, “Look out music city, ‘cause I’m here now and I ain’t never goin’ back!”

  He’d wanted to do that when he arrived. But he’d been so wired from the drive from Texas. And he wanted to find a place to live. He had put it off, thinking there’d be another day. But he still hadn’t yelled from the rooftop, and here he was, pulling into town, on his tour bus, with his face plastered three feet high on the side.

  He’d been looking at that picture every time he’d stepped off the bus these past few days. In it his hair had fallen in his face. His head was turned, and he looked back at the camera cautiously. He’d wanted to find a tiny reflection of the camera and Kelsey there, but he couldn’t. He wondered if that was what she saw when she saw him—the old shirts, and the young rebel expression.

  They passed the road sign saying ‘Nashville 30mi’, and he hauled himself off the ‘couch’ and went down the hall rattling doors. “Time to get up and pack, we’re almost there."

  Craig liked to grumble, but he was a talented songwriter and a brilliant man. And he would never let it be said that he wasn’t sharp enough to be the first one in line for the shower. One by one, they came out front as they got closer to home.

  Familiar restaurants rolled by. People on the street ignored them, except for a little girl in a stroller who waved at the bus. Ben took them through the streets in the same order he had before. That meant TJ and Craig were the first ones off.

  TJ gave him a hug. “Welcome to the big time, brother.”

  JD hugged him back, thinking that the little kid he had tormented was grown. “Thanks TJ.”

  “Thanks go both ways, big brother.” He and Craig each hopped the last step down to the ground in front of the apartment complex. Some girl walking out saw the tour bus and soft cased guitars slung across their backs and gave them the full eye up and down, followed by an impressed smile.

  Get used to it, little brother, he thought.

  Alex and Bridget were next.

  She hugged JD tightly and Alex slung both their bags over his shoulder as he descended the stairs. He saluted with his drumsticks and a smile. JD wondered how Alex was going to explain his new bride.

  Last one on, he dialed Kelsey.

  She squealed and didn’t bother with ‘hello’. “Where are you!?”

  “Two blocks away.”

  “I’ll be right there!” The line went silent.

  JD slipped into his jacket and wearily dragged his guitar to where it fit casually across his back. Holding onto the bars behind Ben, he waited on his feet.

  He saw her standing on the corner, waving as the bus neared. Of course, she couldn’t miss it if she tried. The trim was painted the same brown-to-orange and vivid midnight she had picked out.

  Even before they got near the curb, JD had his duffel in hand. He looked for the kids, but since it was ten in the morning, he wasn’t surprised not to see them. For a moment he was glad to save the jumping and excitement for later, glad that it was just Kelsey now, as weariness settled even further into his bones.

  As the bus ever so slowly pulled to a stop, Ben flipped a switch and the doors opened, letting in a gust of cold air and the huge smile on her face.

  JD didn’t know how he got to the ground, but his feet were planted and the duffel was dropped and Kelsey was in his arms before he consciously thought about it.

  As she slipped her arms under his jacket, he rested his cheek against her head, oblivious to the cold, aware only of her in his arms, holding him as tightly as he held her. He breathed in, letting the smells of her soak in, and the feel of her alter everything within him.

  It was the first time that he’d touched her since he’d known. He wanted to stay here on this curb, like this, for however long he could. But she stepped back, letting the wind in between them. She grabbed his hand and reached down to get the duffel bag for him.

  He was laughing even before she attempted to stand upright with the bag in her hand. She gave another good tug and only got the front end of it up. “Lord, what’s in there?”

  “Everything.” He brushed her fingers away from the handle, without letting go of the hand she held, and hefted the bag. He liked that he could lift it when she couldn’t, even if it was a little caveman of him.

  The wind came at them as she led him back to her place, but he didn’t care as long as their fingers were intertwined. She tugged him along, and he went more than willingly, willing to simply enjoy the feel of her skin for as long as she gave it.

  Her voice carried on the wind, back to where he trailed her. “You look . . . tired . . .?”

  So much more. But he couldn’t say it.

  Turning around, she faced him, seemingly unconcerned that he refused to let her hand go. “What do you need? Food? Water? Sleep?”

  “D, all of the above.”

  “All right.” She laughed at him, “What do you want? We can get a steak, or Mexican, we can go to-”

  “No!” He cut her off, planted his feet and refused to go another inch. “No restaurants, no fast food, and no wheels. What I wouldn’t give for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

  She tugged at him. “I have that. I also have some leftover lasagna in the freezer. It doesn’t go quite as fast without you around. Would you like that?”

  It sounded like heaven, and he didn’t respond with anything other than a sigh.

  She finally unclasped her fingers from his to open the front door, and ushered him inside in front of her. As he passed by, she lifted the guitar from his back and carefully propped it inside the front door. He let his duffel thud to the floor just beyond the front entryway, happy in the knowledge that he understood her well enough to know it wouldn’t matter.

  She ushered him to the table, and offered him tea, which he took. “I’m sorry I don’t have a beer or anything.” She wrinkled her nose.

  “Please.” He downed half the iced tea in one gulp, “We had a beer or two after every show. That, combined with the really bad eating habits we had, was enough to make me quit. Tea is perfect.” He liked her fussing over him. She may not feel the way he did, but she cared, and he’d take what he could get.

  “The lasagna won’t be ready for another hour. I have to thaw it, then heat it up.” Her head tilted to the side. “You want to go lie down, and I’ll get you when it’s ready?”

  Nodding, he stood up and stretched, tall iced tea glass in hand. She took it from him and put it in the sink before following him down the hall. He turned toward the office, where every light was on, and photos adorned the walls.

  His eyes trailed from one to another. She must have hung photos from the jobs she’d done while he was gone. He didn’t recognize all the faces, but he recognized her hand in all of them. Another photo was open on the computer screen and in the process of having some digital altering done. There was a box around a shadow, but he didn’t know what it was for. He realized he had interrupted her work-

  “Not in here,” Her voice came from right behind him and he turned to look at her. She pointed down the hall to
her room. “I have to work. Take my room.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yup.”

  He was shocked how disappointed he was when she turned to go to the other half of the house, presumably to start the lasagna she had promised.

  Alone, he wandered through the partially open door, into the sunny room with the red comforter and thought he’d never seen anything so inviting in his life. Every last drop of energy in him died and refused to reignite.

  He toed off his shoes, and peeled his shirt, leaving it in a puddle on the stuffed chair. It looked a bit out of place there, too masculine and messy for the French country print of the upholstery.

  He peeled back the covers that were still mussed from this morning. As neat as she was otherwise, the woman couldn’t seem to make a bed. He crawled in.

  His last thought was silent behind his moan. Oh God, the whole bed smelled like her.

  Chapter 24

  She did have to work. But that didn’t mean she’d had to give him her bed, did it?

  Kelsey clicked the mouse and made up for the failings of the sun. Minus her print costs, the new work would leave her with a decent chunk of change.

  Not like when she’d closed that house in DC, but enough. Half went into her regular account and the other half went into savings. Things were still tight, but she was getting along okay.

  The timer dinged at her, nearly startling her out of her seat. Time to pull the lasagna out of the oven. Happily ignoring what else the timer signified, she breathed in the smells of the kitchen and pulled open the oven door.

  She set the dish on the stove top to let it cool, and the cheese on top gave off the slightest of sizzles as it gave up a couple hundred degrees of heat. Lasagna always took a while to cool.

  It was now unavoidable. Kelsey turned toward her bedroom, reminding herself that it was all okay. She’d seen the man in his boxer briefs, so this couldn’t be that bad. Or could it?

  How was she going to react to seeing him in her bed?

  With the shades pulled, it meant she could only make out the edges of him under her covers. Well, halfway under, and whether or not he was clothed was anybody’s guess. The part she could see certainly wasn’t.

  She told herself she wasn’t admiring him, just letting her eyes adjust. He was lean and muscular, and looked stable and wild all at the same time, even with his eyes closed and his mouth just a little open. She fought the urge to grab her camera, and decided she couldn’t put it off any longer.

  Sitting on the side of the bed, she reached out one tentative hand to touch his skin and shook him. “JD, the lasagna’s ready. Time to wake up.”

  “Hmmmm?” He rolled over onto his back, and for just a moment, when his eyes first opened she wasn’t sure what she saw in them. But it didn’t matter. Who knew where he was when he first woke up?

  She pulled her hand back, and tried to ignore the bared chest he’d exposed to her. “Are you still hungry?”

  “Mmmmm hmmmm.”

  He blinked a few more times and closed his eyes as he used his arms to push himself almost to sitting. She watched with a bizarre fascination as the covers fell back and revealed . . . jeans.

  That was probably a good thing. Who knows what would have happened if she had jumped him? Not for the first time, she wished he’d been born five to ten years earlier. But wishes didn’t change things, and she was a master at accepting what she had, and making the most of it. She would simply do the same now.

  Pushing off the bed, Kelsey walked out of the room, calling back over her shoulder, “Meet me in the dining room when you’re ready. I’ll be the one with the steaming plate of pasta.”

  “Mmmmmm.”

  Shaking her head as though that might stop the images burning into her long term memory, she went about being domestic. She’d been everybody’s mother since Andy was three-ish and first diagnosed. Her own mother didn’t handle it well, and so Kelsey simply took over.

  Grabbing two plates and two glasses and two forks, she helped herself to a square of the lasagna. She hadn’t planned to eat this early, but she was hungry now that she smelled it. Pouring herself ice water, she sat down and waited.

  She was just wondering if he’d fallen back asleep when he walked out, still shirtless, blinking those amazing eyes. Thankfully, he reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a clean shirt before heading any closer to the table. She didn’t think she’d eat all that well if he insisted on sitting down to lunch that way.

  He tugged it over his head as he went by, and a flash of skin at his waist was close enough for her to reach out and trace her fingers along. But she didn’t. Kelsey blew on the bite she had carefully cut, and waited for him.

  When he sat down across from her he looked up. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Feeding me. Letting me sleep. Not jumping down my throat wanting all the details.”

  She shrugged. That’s what friends were for. But she didn’t say it. Instead she raised her glass to him. “Here’s to Wilder’s first ever tour.”

  He clinked his glass against hers, even though his expression was tentative. “Many happy returns.” He let out a sigh. “I can’t wait to get back to normal.”

  “Yeah, aren’t you guys going to start cutting your album tomorrow?”

  He rubbed his hands over his face. “I know, be careful what you wish for.”

  “So tell me about it.”

  He lifted a forkful of pasta to his mouth and started in, “There were groupies. Everywhere. And, I love women as much as the next man, but as a species . . .” He shook his head, “I don’t want to offend you, but women in general are nucking futs.”

  She laughed at him. “But men are better?”

  “Oh, God, no. Case in point, Alex.”

  She raised her brows, and chewed a bite of lasagna.

  “Remember I said he stayed in Vegas with that girl? Well, I didn’t tell you the whole thing, I wanted to tell you in person, because it’s crazy.”

  Kelsey waited for a Fatal Attraction story, but wasn’t prepared for what she heard.

  “He showed up at the Phoenix Airport the next morning married to her. Her name is Bridget and he just told his parents about her something like an hour ago.”

  “Did she come back with you?”

  “Yes.” He was still shaking his head over that one, apparently thinking much the same as she did about Alex. “She’s really very likable.”

  “But he just met her at the concert and then ran off and married her that night?”

  “Yeah.” He stood to help himself to another serving of lasagna, the first had disappeared a few sentences earlier.

  When he returned, she shrugged, “Well, you know what they say—still waters run deep.”

  JD laughed like she’d just told the best joke in the world, and Kelsey had to blink a few times. Finally, he got it together enough to speak. “She’s hot. And she threw her red lace thong right onto one of his drumsticks. I think that’s about as shallow as water can run.”

  Kelsey conceded her point, and silently admitted how happy she was to have him back.

  The kids climbed him like a jungle gym when they came to the gate and saw JD there. Daniel made sure he was staying for dinner, and JD looked at her for answers.

  “Of course, you’re invited.”

  “I don’t want to impose.”

  Andie laughed, “It’s not a problem, they love having us!”

  Kelsey had to laugh, too. How many times had she told JD exactly that?

  They all trooped the two blocks to Allie’s daycare, where she gave a shrill yell and launched herself into his arms. JD made it worth her while by scooping her up in a bear hug that almost crushed her.

  Kelsey was pretty certain that her kids didn’t understand that JD wasn’t theirs.

  It was Sunday morning when Kelsey was getting ready for church that she realized that it had been four days since JD returned home, and this was the first outing she would take her k
ids on by herself.

  She was glad to have only Daniel and Allie with her. She needed the peace of the service, and the moments by herself while the kids were in their Sunday school classes.

  The sermon drifted in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t all that interesting, and she knew it would have a point—they always did—but she didn’t feel like waiting around for it. Instead her thoughts turned to wishes. Keen ideas of JD sleeping in her bed the first day he’d been back. He’d only been there an hour, but she swore she could still smell him. That tormented her on a nightly basis.

  She shook herself out of it in time to hear the moral. It was about how God tests us, in sometimes unusual ways. Amen to that, Kelsey thought.

  She stayed and talked to the other parishioners, many of whom had noticed she was missing last week. She’d have to ask JD if it was okay to bring his daughter to church with them when she had her.

  They went and fed the ducks at the pond, which they did most weeks. The ducks seemed to recognize them, although Kelsey struggled with feeling a little incomplete. Andie had been here with them last week, not to church, but to the duck pond. For a brief moment she catalogued how different her life would be right now without JD and Andie in it. The sheer number of things that were affected was scary. There were so many things she would miss if JD were to stop speaking to her, or feel uncomfortable.

  That alone was impetus to keep her feelings to herself. If JD made any moves, she’d gladly return them, but that was a big if. And she didn’t see it coming on the horizon.

  Monday morning the front door opened at 7:30 and Kelsey was alarmed that it felt like the sun shone just a little brighter with JD and Andie in the room. She was way too attached, and she had no way to extricate herself. She knew she would have to ride it out.

  After they’d dropped the kids off, JD took her out for breakfast before going in to the recording studio for the day. Brenda called her and asked her to do the photos for the album cover. The guys had met with her usual photographer, and Brenda didn’t like anything he’d given her. Kelsey was pleased to hear the woman say it didn’t compare to what she’d captured. Of course, the caveat was that she knew these guys by heart, so it wouldn’t translate into any other work. But hey, you don’t look gift horses in the mouth.