by B. M. Hardin
Whatever he was dreaming about must have really been something because every so often he would smile or make a light groan. He must’ve been dreaming about me. Continuing to watch his facial expressions, I couldn’t help but let out a light giggle. Little did he know, plan interrupt a good dream, was in full effect.
Placing him inside of my mouth I didn’t waste any time getting down to business. I sucked and slurped as if dick sucking was going out of style and as we all know…that will never happen.
Devon began to moan and squirm, but didn’t open his eyes. I could sense his excitement which was causing me to become even more aroused. I waited for him to grab a fist full of my hair, but he gripped the back of my neck instead.
Even better.
I continued the task at hand and I wouldn’t stop until the race was won. I wanted to taste him and every ounce of fluid that his monster would spit out of his mouth. Devon’s moans grew louder and louder and my ego shot through the roof. I was a dick sucking pro and no one could tell me otherwise. His moans continued to fill the air and it was like music to my ears until I heard…
“Damn, suck dat’ dick---Diamond,”
Diamond? What the—who the fuck is Diamond?
Oh, now I remember…mall, ring finding, ex-boo bitch Diamond!
***
I watched Devon pack his bags. He had pleaded and begged all morning but there was nothing that he could say that would change my mind. He had insulted me in the worst way…and that was unforgivable, at least for the time being. He stated that he had no idea why he had called out her name. He said he couldn’t even remember the dream he was having after I tried to bite the head of his dick off. In an attempt to clear his face, Devon had even called her, Diamond, to confirm that they were not sleeping together or fooling around but nothing he said convinced me. I didn’t care why he said it---the point was he said it. If he wasn’t fucking her…why the hell was he dreaming about fucking her? In my mind, it was all the same. And he had messed up. Devon knew I had trust issues…and this situation definitely proved that being faithful was a waste of time. But regardless of the situation, his ass belonged to me. No he wasn’t under contract but I had worked full time, and over time to make a man out of Devon and I be damned if another bitch would have him all to herself…I don’t think so. Little did she know, I made him, and he would always belong to me! Break up and all, whenever I wanted that dick---his dick…I could have it. So she might as well be willing to share it. It was just that simple.
On the outside and as far as he knew, I hated the ground that he walked on. But internally, I still loved him. I was a tad disappointed that we even had to go through yet another issue in our weird relationship. But the whole ordeal had sent me five steps backwards with putting my trust in him. Yes, I loved him, but he wasn’t going to make a fool out of me…I wouldn’t give another man the satisfaction. Especially not Devon, I had been way too good to him.
The way I saw it was if he did truly love me and if he was telling the truth, which maybe he was just having a dream of the past, or whatever, the truth would definitely show up and show out, but in the meantime…I was going to have some me time---and by that I meant screwing around and not having to answer to anyone.
And I was looking forward to it.
I still had the guy, Eric, under a dirty bonds contract but I hadn’t sexed him in over a month and didn’t plan to anytime soon. He wasn’t who I wanted.
I wanted…Kareem.
We hadn’t spoken since the day I left his house. He had called once or twice but after that, nothing. Basically, it was up to me to make the next move.
After all, he was under contract.
***
“So, can you help get me out?” he asked me, somewhat in an irritable tone. I eyed the piece of eye candy that sat in front of me. He was sexy…as hell, but something about him turned me off. He just wasn’t exactly my type. And besides, I had other plans in mind.
“Yes, I think I might be able to get them to lower your bail and get the ball rolling to get you out,” I answered him.
He was quiet for a while. He was actually quite strange. Though he was only in on drug charges, he definitely gave off the vibe of a murderer or something of that sort.
“Oh, so I’m not good enough to get under one of your little dirty bond contracts?” he asked.
What? How the hell did he know about that?
“What are you talking about?” I asked him innocently.
“The streets talk…hell what you think I called you for?” was all he said.
Leaving the jail house I was quite disturbed. I wondered which of the mouthy men I had been with had actually gone around telling folks about our little agreement. Thinking back, I remembered Reese making the same exact statement about the streets talking but I had no idea that there was actually some truth behind it. I did the dirty bond contracts for personal reasons, some might even say I did them because I was bitter but no matter what the reason behind it was, I didn’t want the whole world to know about it. I definitely felt some kind of way. Being completely in my feelings, I decided that I would go home and give the situation a little more thought but for some reason, my car accidently pulled up in front of Kareem’s house. Though I was still on the fence concerning him, and somewhat against my better judgment, I figured that it was about time to reach out to him. Besides, Devon had been gone for a few days, so it was about that time.
Hey,” I said when he answered the phone as if he was my high school crush.
“Hey, how are you?” he asked, somewhat with a mixture of shock and concern.
How was I? Now, that was by far one of the hardest questions that I had ever had to answer. Honesty, I didn’t have a clue what the answer to it was.
My life was a complete wreck.
“I’m fine. I was calling to see if we could talk,” I asked. I felt that asking him for some right off might make me sound like some kind of pervert. At the moment and at the news of finding out that I was some bondsman slut, conversation might very well do some justice. I just needed some kind of attention.
Kareem agreed to talk and I waited a few minutes to knock on his front door as if I wasn’t already parked outside. In the end, I was glad that I had asked for conversation--- first. I found him to be quite interesting. On top of being very good with his hands and designing things, he could also sing, cook, and he loved poetry. Kareem was originally from a country, small town called Gastonia, North Carolina. Kareem attended and graduated at the top of his class from Duke University and then moved to Georgia. Here, he found and married his wife. They had two boys, which one of them wasn’t his…technically. She had had an affair but he had forgiven her and raised the boy as his own; which was one reason why he had found it hard to believe that she of all people would have taken Carter’s word over his and left him. He said that he hadn’t seen or heard from her since the divorce was final months ago. She hated him so much that she wouldn’t even speak to him. Her sister was the liaison between the two; even when it came to him seeing their kids. Kareem stated that he worked for a top notch engineering company for years before Carter had gotten him fired. Between giving to his ex-wife and other expenses, he had gone nearly broke until he decided to do something about it. With a hope and a prayer, and with what he had left, he started his own firm. After months of hard work, he was finally reaping the benefits of success---sort of. Basically, he wasn’t struggling like before. He still had a long way to go but he was also a long way from where he used to be. Being that Kareem had opened all the way up, I felt the need to give him a little of my history. Mine wasn’t as interesting, but nevertheless, I told him what I wanted him to know. I actually found that he had a sense of humor; one like I had never experienced before. He made me laugh so much that my stomach hurt. I hadn’t laughed so hard in years. It was definitely something I could get use to. It was refreshing to see him open up and become comfortable around me. My assumption was that he acted so nervous before because he knew
he was hiding something. But now that it was out in the open, and technically since it wasn’t what it had appeared to be, he seemed to be just fine.
I watched him in admiration as he talked. I waited on a joke or for him to tell me another interesting fact about himself. I almost became upset when he had to take a phone call. I took that time to head to his bathroom to freshen up. Hopefully the conversation part was over and we could do something else---something that required less communication…and more demonstration.
My phone began to vibrate and I saw that it was Devon. I ignored him and waited for him to call back over and over again like he usually did but this time he didn’t. Taking my eyes off of the phone for only a second, it began to vibrate again.
But it wasn’t Devon…it was a private number.
Out of curiosity, or maybe it was for entertainment or maybe the thought that it could maybe possibly be important. Whatever the reason was…I answered.
“So who's man are you fucking now?” she asked. I frowned at the sound of her voice. I hadn’t heard from her, whoever she was, in awhile and I was hoping she had forgotten about me…but I guess not.
“Not yours,” was all I said and hung up in her face.
How in the hell did she know I was with someone? She must have still been following me; which meant she probably knew where I moved too.
Damn it.
I rushed out of the bathroom and headed toward the living room window. Kareem was nowhere in sight. I glanced out the window to see if I seen any car that looked out of place, but nothing caught my eye. If she was ever brave enough to show her face, I swear I had about three beat downs with her name all over them. I mean, if she thinks I screwed her man, which I’m not doubting that I did, chances are she’s right, but why not approach me and ask me about it already? Depending on how I’m feeling that day, she may get the truth. But to stalk me, for months, was just plain out ridiculous---and stupid if I might add. But I tell you one thing, if I ever got my hands on her…
“Uh, what are you doing?” Kareem asked.
I turned around to see Kareem, now undressed, well wearing only his boxers. He was holding handcuffs in one hand and whipped cream and strawberries in the other. I smiled at him, but said nothing; and neither did he. He simply turned around and headed toward his bedroom and like a little puppy dog…I followed.
***
It was the Fourth of July and I was enjoying watching the fireworks from my bedroom window. The light breeze chilled my cheeks and caused my eyes to flutter. It was the first night in awhile that I was all alone and I was actually enjoying myself. Kareem and I had been spending a lot of time together the past month or so. I mean indoors and outdoors. If you saw us in public you would have sworn that we were a couple and madly in love. We held hands, took long walks in the park, kissed in public places and anything else you could think of. Every time he touched me, or kissed me, it always felt like the very first time. Kareem would sing to me and write me poetry. He would even help me with laundry or wash my hair. Those simple, yet signature things about him, had me on cloud nine. There had been plenty of times that I had forgotten that this, whatever we had, was a business deal and at the moment I just didn’t care. It was something about him that made it so easy to love him…like him…or whatever. He seemed to do everything just right. I was sure that he had flaws and there were even minor things that I particularly wasn’t too fond of but for the most part he was the ideal husband…my ideal husband.
Without my permission and maybe even a little too fast, a part of me had already fallen for him but---the other part of me, as well as my heart, still belonged to Devon.
Devon and I had talked only a few times and lord, he sounded miserable. He missed me…and honestly I missed him too---when I had time to. Every time we talked he tried his best to explain the situation over and over again and he assured me that it was all some big mistake. Really, I was over him calling me her name. I wasn’t mad at him anymore for the most part and I believed him when he said wasn’t having sex with her. Hell, he barely had sex with me when we were together. He was starting to break me down but because I was also into Kareem, I felt that it was best if I still kept a distance from him; just until I figured it all out.
I smiled at the children voices that I could hear in the distance, just before the fireworks sounded again. It reminded me of times that my sisters and I shared, which eventually led to me thinking about my Daddy. Every once in a while, I found myself thinking about him. I wondered what he was doing down in Mexico; if he was happy, if he was still alive. I wondered if he was remarried or if he had other children. I wondered if he missed us or if he even remembered us. Hell most of all, I wondered if he still loved us or if he had ever really loved us at all.
Tears began to roll timidly down my face. At that moment, I wished Devon was with me. He was always there to comfort me when I got in one of my little moods about Daddy. He was the only one that I had ever truly opened up to about it. There were things that he knew that Carter didn’t even know. There were things that I had told him that I had never bothered to tell my sisters.
I almost picked up the phone to call him but decided against it. For now, I was just going to lie around, clear my head and enjoy the view.
At some time or another I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was waking up to the Georgia sunlight shining in on my now dry face. I had roughly ten missed collect calls, and secretly, I was happy that I had missed them. I didn’t want to do any bonds, I didn’t even want to go outside; I simply wanted to be left alone. My sisters as well as Kareem had also called. Hell even Eric, my almost non-existent man under contract, had called.
Everyone had called…except Devon.
Why hadn’t he called me?
Since we had been back on talking terms he called fairly often like he always had before. I’ll admit he was a lot more insecure than most men. But for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I was working on getting down to the bottom of the issue but he didn’t seem to like when I questioned him on it.
I immediately assumed that since he hadn’t called me, that he must have been too busy; or he was most likely getting busy…probably with that bitch Diamond. The very thought of him having sex with anybody other than me, made me jealous. No one else deserved to have him…I was responsible for what he had become; that was all me.
That did it. I was calling Devon to rain on his little parade.
So much for my day to myself.
“What are you doing?” I questioned him and listened closely to his background.
“Nothing,” he replied rather dryly.
“Why haven’t you called me?” I asked him, feeling just a bit of anxiety, not knowing what his answer was going to be. I didn’t like this feeling; not one bit.
“Because,” he said.
I placed my hand over my mouth to keep from flying off the handle and to keep from calling him everything but a Child of God.
Why in the hell was he short answering me?
He must be with some bitch---that bitch.
Yeah, that’s the only explanation.
“Devon---“ A knock at my front door had saved his ears from the verbal ass whooping that they were about to receive.
“Hold on,” I yelled both at Devon and at the person knocking away at the door. I opened the door without bothering to check to see who it was.
My face lit up as I smiled at the man standing in front of me.
Devon.
“What are you doing here?” I asked still smiling and hanging up my cell phone at the same time.
“I needed to see you. Glad you seem happy to see me,” he responded inching closer.
Damn it…he’s right. I’m supposed to still be mad at him.
But I wasn’t.
I quickly removed the smirk from my face and started to back away as he continued to approach me. He kicked the door closed behind him and reached out to me, but I shook my head. It seemed like such a long time
since I had seen him or since he had touched me. It had been quite some time since we had had sex and I was dying to feel him inside of me, and for him to pound on me just like he used to but he had messed up big time.
And he knew it too.
“Look, I can’t take back calling you her name. Shit, I don’t know where it came from. We hadn’t dealt wit’ each other in years…since before I was married. I swear I ain’t touched dat’ girl and don’t want to. I want you, hell I miss you. I love you,” Devon said sincerely.
I believed him. But taking him back would mean pulling back from Kareem and I just wasn’t sure that I wanted to do that. To be honest, I think in some odd way, I had fallen for them both, for completely opposite reasons.
“Devon, look---well---you know what, okay, maybe we could start over. Maybe we could take things slow,” I suggested. Hell at some point you have to tell the truth and shame the devil…and the truth is I loved him; even if I didn’t want to.
The look in his eyes from my suggestion had me convinced…this man loved me more than I could probably ever love him. Maybe that was a good thing. I had given all my love to a man and things hadn’t worked in my favor. But maybe things would work out better for me if the tables were turned.
“I guess that will have to do,” was all he said and then before I could take action…he kissed me.
Devon kissed me like he had never kissed me before. His kiss was so powerful and so full of passion that it made tears fall from my eyes. He started to rip off of my clothes and I got all excited inside. This was the side that I liked of him, but this is the side that he kept most hidden. Sure, he would beat it down, but this was the side of a crazy, sex craving maniac…the side that I could most relate to.
His kisses moved from my lips and made their way down my trembling with anticipation, body.
Laying me down on the couch, Devon dropped to his knees. He began to taste me but it didn’t last long, just enough to get my juices flowing. He commanded me onto my knees and positioned himself on the couch behind me. He entered me, forcefully, and didn’t bother to waste much time. I attempted to throw it back but it was no use. Devon was running this freak show, and the only option I had was to take this beating like a woman and submit.