“Damn it, Ocean, why won’t you kiss me?” I knew he wanted to, but he was holding back.
“If you let me get that far, baby, I won’t stop, and I know you’re a virgin, and I can’t do it this way. I just don’t want you to take me into your body. I want you to take all of me—all of my insecurities, all of my demons—along with all of my heart. You have to be able to take me all in, baby.”
I gave up and rested my head on his shoulder. “Can we go now I’m hungry?” I finally said, and he started laughing.
“Anything you want, baby.” He went to release me from his rapture, but I held on tighter around his neck, afraid I would crumble once he let go.
“Not yet, Ocean, don’t let me go yet… I’ll sink.” He lifted me off the wall and walked toward the door where my phone and headphones laid. He bent down with me still in his arms. He handed me the phone, and I took it. Wrapping his arms around me again, he started to walk and my breathing mellowed out into a steady and even pace.
“I’ll never let you drown in this ocean, baby, I promise.” I kissed him on the neck and closed my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ocean
The walk back to our room was soothing. I didn’t think I would snap so fast, but having her clinging to me in my arms made it all worth it. All it took was one cheap jab where it hurt, and I was confessing my undying love to this Brazilian goddess, who somehow thought she was just an average nobody. This woman had the power to make and break men, and she carried herself as if she didn’t even exist.
When we got to her room, I wanted to help her get out of her clothes and shower, but she refused. I didn’t push it, because I didn’t think I would have held it together with her wearing any less clothing then what she had on at the time. I told her I would have dinner sent to her room and that I would call her later once she was situated. It would be a late dinner considering it was twenty minutes past nine, but after what just went down, she was starving, and so was I.
I kissed Liv on the neck where her pulse beat the strongest, because for some reason feeling her heart beating so close to my lips gave me a high I’ve never felt before. Leaving her room, I closed her door gently behind me, swiped my key, and entered my room. I heard Law’s loud ass snoring from the far side of the room. He fell asleep watching TV and eating his dinner, I guess. Pig! I always got stuck cleaning our hotel room when we traveled competing, and here I was doing it again. Whatever! I figured I’d clean up his mess for him, given what he went through today.
While I was straightening his bed, the bastard farted in my face! I loved my cousin, but boy, was he one sick bastard. I grabbed the sheets under him, gripped them tight, and in a fast jerk, I flipped his ass off the bed, and he in his dead weight hit the ground hard.
“What the fuck!” I couldn’t stop laughing because his face bounced off the floor like twice. Damn that shit was funny.
“What the hell was that for?” he asked rubbing the side of his face as he sat up and leaned against the mattress.
“That was for being a pig, man. I forgot how disgusting rooming with you was.” Law looked at me and cocked his head to the side.
“What’s going on, Ocean? You look like you ran into a leprechaun, and he led you to the pot of gold.”
I threw myself on my bed, rolled onto my back, and stared at the ceiling. “You better not give me shit about this, but I sort of told Liv how I feel about her.”
He jumped up off the floor and onto his bed flopping onto his stomach propping his head I his hands.
“You look like a fucking girl man, stop.”
He rolled his eyes. “So tell me what happened, and don’t leave out the juicy details.” I couldn’t resist reliving what just happened between Liv and me, so I caved and told him everything—minus the x rated commentary I had going on in my head. I swear, Law should have born a girl. There was no way this grown ass man should be so giddy about gossip. When we finished our gossip session, I got up and headed for the showers because after talking about Liv, and what had happened, I needed a cold one.
Lawrence
Seeing Ocean talk about Liv the way he was made me extremely thankful that I met that crazy girl. There was no doubt that she was special. She also had some major issues and was always looking for a fight, but hell, who didn’t have issues these days? I know I had a shit load of them, and Ocean had the kind that required rehab time. I grabbed my toothbrush from my bag and brushed my teeth in the sink. No way was I going in that bathroom after what Ocean had just told me. If he wasn’t whacking himself right now, well, then he was just flat out gay.
I washed my face and grabbed my phone. The notification light was going off like a fireworks show. I could only imagine what my mom would have to say to me after going MIA for so long. I needed to call her, and avoiding her was only gong to make her angrier. She’d probably moved all my shit out of the house and on to the side of the road by now. I changed into some loose jeans and a white tank. I pulled on some socks and Ocean’s kicks he left by the foot of his bed. Yeah, it would piss him off, but after sending me flying off the bed, I figured he’d be all right.
I banged on the bathroom door. “What!” Yeah he was handling his business.
“Going downstairs to make some calls. Don’t wait up, honey!”
“Fuck you!”
“You wish,” I shouted back as I headed out the door. A part of me wanted to knock on Sunshine’s door and give her a huge hug and kiss for taking care of me today during and after my nervous breakdown, but after what Ocean just put her through, I’d wait until tomorrow.
The hotel was quiet and it was only ten o’clock. I made my way out to the courtyard were some families were still hanging out in the pool. I pulled out my phone to face the music, and I had 23 missed calls.
I was surprised to see that only two were from my mom, and the rest were from a number I didn’t recognize. Maybe the lawyers, I guessed. My mom left a voice message almost a minute long, and I deleted it. I didn’t want to hear the list of names she was calling me. There was another voice message from the unknown number, so I decided to listen to that one first before making any phone calls. I took a seat under a gazebo and pressed play.
‘Lawrence, this is your father. I thought about what happened today, and I’m sorry things had to go down the way they did. I just wanted to tell you in person that the house is no longer my concern or my wife’s. I will no longer continue to contact you or your mother. If you need anything, you certainly know how to find your old man. Goodbye, son.’
At least this time, the bastard said goodbye. I saved the message just in case and then I decided to face my fears, and called my mom. She answered on the first ring, and I felt like a little kid about to be reprimanded for ruining his super.
“Are you okay, Lawrence?” Yep, she just called me Lawrence, god help me.
“Hi, Mom. Yes, I’m okay, how are…”
“Do you have any idea how worried I was about you kids, Lawrence? I gave in to your little Donkey Kong quest figuring you would have enough brains to call your own mother and keep her informed. Then I get and call from your father that you broke his nose AGAIN! AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE PAST FEW HOURS, LAWRENCE GRANT HAWTHORNE?”
“Mom, I’m sorry, I jus…”
“SHUT UP! You finish whatever business you have in Boston, and you bring your ass home! Do you hear me, Lawrence?”
“Yes, Mom, I hear you loud and clear.” She was about to yell at me again but then caught herself. I could here her sniffling and felt like shit knowing I was making my mom cry for me, because I lost my head and made her worry so badly.
“I love you, Mom, and we’ll be home soon.”
“Love you, too. Now get your ass home!” were the last words I heard before she hung up. Well, now that that was out of the way, I turned toward the pool and saw two girls looking at me and giggling.
They were both blonde, and from what I could make
out, had great tits. One of the girls bounced up out of the water and her bikini looked like licorice strings. Damn, she had a cute body. I smiled at them, and the cuter one waved me over. Oh yeah… Ocean wasn’t the only one about to cop a feel.
Chapter Thirty
Livie
When Ocean left me in my room, the air was sucked out of my lungs, and out of the room, for that matter. It hurt to breathe without him with me. This was going to end badly; I could feel it in my bones. I was already too dependent on the feeling he gave me. What Ocean gave me was too real, too raw, and I didn’t deserve that kind of trust. He wanted to give me all of him, and I wanted to take it all, down to the very last drop of his ocean. I knew I didn’t deserve him, and once he found out the truth, he’d run, but I was being selfish with him.
Knowing that he was going to be returning to my room soon, I made my way to the shower. I didn’t want to wash away the smell of him, but just knowing that he would be back soon gave me the push I needed to shower. I longed to be in his arms again, and the sooner the better.
I turned on the hot water and jumped right in. As the sting of the hot water assaulted my sensitive skin, my body rocked with goose bumps. I loved the way hot water numbed my entire body. I spent more time than usual washing and caressing my lady parts—mainly because I was imagining my hands were Ocean’s roaming all over my soapy flesh. When the hot water started to run out, and the cold water started coming out, I ended my TLC time. Good thing I’m a fan of waxing.
I cut off the cold water and stepped out reaching for my towel, and of course, I didn’t grab it on the way in because I was still high off Ocean. Shit. I’m pretty sure if Ocean or Law stopped by while I was in the shower, they would have at least knocked to warn me or make some kind of noise. I tiptoed to the door and placed my ear against it. The only sound I could hear was my own breathing, and the air conditioning circulating throughout the room. I grabbed the door handle and pulled the door back a couple inches.
“Hello, anybody in here? Ocean? Law?” No response. My bed was only a couple feet away, but with my lack of luck, someone would walk in on me. I looked down at my scars and sighed.
Ocean
I grabbed the take out bags of Chinese food I had room service drop off, and headed out the door to Liv’s room. I swiped her room key, pushed the handle, and kneed the door open. What I saw on the other side of the door had my heart banging against my chest and head spinning violently.
Right in of me stood Liv dripping wet from heat to toe fucking naked!
When our eyes met, I could see the terror setting in, and it wasn’t because of the fact that she was naked. No, it was because of those scars all over her thighs. Her head snapped down as she zeroed in on my gaze, and she started hyperventilating. Liv was frozen in time trying to decide whether to run or fight… and I was hoping she would do neither.
I set down the bags on the floor as quietly as possible and turned to make sure the door was locked. Her breathing was crazy and frantic, and the tears where flowing from her beautiful eyes like a broken dam.
“Liv, baby, calm down. You’re going to pass out.” I took a step forward, and her head jerked up to look at me. Her eyes were pleading, but the rest of her was ready to fight me off. She took a step back, watching me carefully.
“Baby, I’m not going to hurt you. Please calm down. It’s me, Ocean.” I took another step and she snapped. By the time my foot hit the carpet with my next step, she turned to bolt back into the bathroom. I lunged for her before she could get through the bathroom door and grabbed her from behind.
“LET ME GO! LET ME GO! GET THE HELL OFF ME!” She kicked, screamed, and her body flailed around as she tried to get away. If she would have calmed down, I’m pretty sure she could have gotten away, but she wasn’t thinking clearly. All she wanted to do was hide from me, but it was too late, and I wasn’t about to turn my back on her now. She was mine, and I wanted her, scars and all.
“Liv, come on. It’s just me. You don’t have to fight me. I don’t care about the scars. I only care about you!” She reached for the frame of the bathroom door and when she got a good grip, she pushed hard against it and sent us flying backwards. I fell back, but the side of the bed broke my fall.
She wiggled out of my grip as she got up to run into the bathroom again, but I grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face me. She took a swing at my face, but I dodged it. She was predictable when she was angry.
“Get your fucking hands off me! And leave me the hell alone! GET OUT!” I pulled her hard against my chest and she nearly head butted me. “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. GET OUT, OCEAN!”
“I love you, too, baby.” I picked her up by the hips turning our bodies and slammed her onto the bed. She landed on her back and took the opportunity to kick me in the stomach, which knocked the fucking air out of me. Satisfied with her result, she continued kicking at me, but I managed to get a hold of both her ankles. I pushed her legs apart and came down hard on top of her. I straddled her hips, practically sitting on her, and I grabbed both her arms and pinned them above her head. If looks could kill, I was going on my hundredth death by now.
“LIVIE, RELAX! You don’t have to fight me, Liv. I won’t judge you. You can trust me.”
I held her down and watched the anger and her fight leave her broken in tears. When I felt her body go limp underneath my weight, I propped myself off of her and pulled her onto my lap so she straddled me, and I was leaning up against the headboard. I took her swollen face from her forceful crying into my hands and held her still.
“Livie, I’m here, don’t fight me, baby. I’m right here, and I’m not leaving you.” She shook her head from side to side.
“No! You have to go. You can’t see me… my sc… you just can’t see me. Leave, Ocean, please. Please leave me.”
“I said no, Liv. I. AM. NOT. LEAVING. YOU! Get that through your fucking head, Liv. I’m staying, and I want you.”
“Don’t lie to me. I know what you’re thinking, Ocean! You think I’m crazy, and I’m a horrible person for cutting myself. You don’t have to lie to me! LET ME GO AND GET OUT!” She raised her hand and smacked the shit out of me.
“FUCK!” I pushed her forward and climbed on top of her settling between her legs and pinning her down to the mattress. I pinned her hands above her head again, and she struggled to get free. I grabbed her chin with my free and hand, and held her still.
“You don’t get to make that choice for me, baby. You are mine, Liv. The sooner you let me in, the sooner I can help take away the pain, baby. I’m not leaving you.”
She stopped trying to get loose, and her tears started to slow. She closed her eyes. Even in her moment of darkness and weakness, she still looked beautiful to me. Her caramel skin was flawless, her breasts were perfect, and if I could, I would have her naked all the time. Her body was a fucking masterpiece, and I wanted to claim it for me.
Once she had her breathing under control, she slowly opened her swollen and red eyes. “Ocean, please just go. I can’t do this… it hurts too much. You don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong, Liv. I want to be completely yours, and I will be, but you have to let me in. We can do this together. I can help take the pain away baby. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.” Her eyes looked up into mine for the first time, and the pain I saw in them just about tore my heart out.
“Ocean, take the pain away, please… now, just make it stop.” She arched her back and pressed her body up to mine and in response, my dick jerked against her leg. I wanted to take her so badly, but I knew this was not the way that I wanted to do it. She would regret it if she let me, and she’d hate me for it.
“Liv, I can’t do that. This isn’t what you want, baby, not like this.” Her tears started flowing again.
“You can make it stop, Ocean, please, please just make it stop!”
She grabbed my head and brought it down to her neck, and I put my lips on the sweet spot that I loved—the one place on
her body where my lips could feel the beat of her heart, as if it were beating against my own heart. I slid my tongue along the base of her neckline down to her collarbone, and I felt her body relax completely. She wrapped her legs around my hips and pushed against me.
“Please make it stop, Ocean. Please,” she begged me, and I was having a hard time convincing myself that she really didn’t want this. I couldn’t give in. I had to be stronger for us both.
“Liv, I can’t, baby. You’ll hate me later if I do. You don’t have to do this, Liv.”
She whined and pushed harder against me. She started up again wiggling and trying to get up from underneath my weight.
“MAKE IT STOP. MAKE IT FUCKING STOP, OCEAN!”
“Okay, okay! Liv, baby, stop!” Her body stilled, and I used my elbows to shift my weight. I ran my fingers through her hair, and she moaned. I kissed the base of her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses up to her mouth. When I kissed her lips, they immediately parted and accepted my tongue into hers. Her arms came across my back, and she started kneading my back using her nails to drag her fingertips up and down the length of my spine. I groaned into her mouth and pressed myself against her thigh.
“Yes, Ocean, please, please.” I pulled back and looked into her wild and fierce eyes.
“Baby, I can’t give you that yet, you’re not ready.” Before she could yell at me, I crushed my lips down on hers again. Her body melted into the mattress, and I moved my lips down to her throat. The moans that were escaping out of her mouth were crazy sexy. I was glad she was not a quiet lover. I wanted to hear how I made her feel, and I wanted to hear my name roll off her tongue in breathless moans.
Oceans Collide Page 14