Skinnydipping

by Bethenny Frankel

“I liked working with Andy, too!” Shari echoed, looking annoyed that she hadn’t spoken first.

  “I often couldn’t even understand what he was saying—and I’m not sure I would have wanted to,” said Marcelle. “Wait, I wrote this down.” She looked at a pad of paper in front of her. “He said, ‘I represent the paragon of the coming millennium for personal development in domestic marketing.’ What does that mean? I don’t even know what that means.”

  “He talks quite a lot, so we got quite a lot of information about him, but when he said things like, ‘Someday, I’m going to be running this company,’ well frankly, Sybil, I have to say I don’t think I would trust him to be a team player,” said Ruth. “And I certainly wouldn’t want to give him any power.”

  “Can I just say something in my defense,” Andy said, frantically. “I’m completely trustworthy. I don’t know what you heard, but you must have misunderstood. I wasn’t plotting against anyone.” Shari made a little snorting sound. Andy turned on her. “If anybody is a plotter, it’s Shari,” Andy said. “She’s the one you can’t trust. She’s nice to your face, but she’ll cause major friction on a team because as soon as your back is turned, she’ll exploit all your vulnerabilities for her own gain. She’s been doing it throughout this entire experience—especially to Faith, her supposed best friend. She’s been telling people not to speak to her, to try to get her eliminated. At the very beginning, she told Nadine never to get on a team with Faith because Faith would screw her over. She told Katie that Faith was spreading rumors about her party-girl past. She told Jodi Sue that Faith thought she was a moron, and maybe Faith did think Jodi Sue was a moron, I know I certainly did, but this is all while Faith’s thinking Shari is her BFF.”

  I stared at Shari. Could it be true?

  “I think you’re projecting,” said Shari calmly, not looking at me. “Because you’re describing yourself, not me.” But she looked rattled, like she’d been caught off guard and had lost control of the situation. Shari hated to lose control of any situation. If it was all true, she’d certainly been a master at hiding it. But not from Mikki. I remembered Mikki’s whispered warning before she left: Watch out for Shari.

  “At least I’m not a liar,” Andy said.

  “I’m not a liar,” Shari said. “I’m a good friend.”

  “Yeah, if by good friend you mean backstabber,” Andy said.

  “Andy, who do you think should be sent home?” Sybil asked.

  “Obviously Shari,” he said without hesitation. “Faith has integrity. Shari just wants this for the power and the social prestige. She has no real interest in your company, or anyone but herself. And you can’t trust her.”

  “Look who’s talking,” Shari said. “You’re the power-hungriest of us all. You’ll throw anybody under the bus to keep yourself safe. And you have no message.”

  “I work hard,” he said. “That’s my message.”

  “Faith, what about you?” Sybil asked. “Who do you think should be sent home?”

  I was feeling a little stunned and conflicted. Could what Andy was saying really be true? I felt loyal to them both, even though it wasn’t in my best interest at this moment. I had to be objective! The only thing I could do was speak the truth, as far as I knew it. What Andy said was hearsay. Shari was good. She’d never fallen down on a challenge. She was consistent and competent. I had no personal proof that she’d been backstabbing me all along.

  And Andy? I really had thought he should be the one to go home, but suddenly I was questioning myself. But I had to be true to what I believed.

  “I love Andy. I think he’s got a very unique personality,” I said. “He’s incredibly creative and ambitious. But I also think he’s a loose cannon. I don’t know how consistent or dependable he is. I think … I think …” I almost didn’t say it, but then I did: “I think Shari and I would make for a far more equitable and interesting face-off.” I turned to Andy. “I’m sorry—don’t take it personally.”

  He shrugged, looking offended. “It’s all good. I’m your biggest defender, but whatever.” I was sick to my stomach, especially seeing the look of hurt and disappointment on his face.

  “Shari, who do you think should be sent home?” said Sybil. Shari was quiet for a moment. What would she say? Would she redeem herself, prove Andy wrong? Prove that she really was my friend?

  She looked directly at Sybil and said, “Well, I wouldn’t trust Andy farther than I could throw him, and believe me, I couldn’t throw him very far.” She laughed. “But …” She paused, looking at me for just a split second. “I think Faith is the one who should go home at this point.”

  What?

  I stared at her. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Or could I? Was she naming me because she thought I was her biggest threat? Because she knew she could beat Andy? Maybe she really had been the game player, the backstabber, the fake friend. Shari continued: “At least Andy has the kind of experience a network like this requires. He’s got a dynamic personality and as a chef with an established reputation and clientele, I could envision him as the exciting, controversial star of his own show.”

  What was she doing? I was dumbfounded. But she wasn’t finished.

  “And honestly, I don’t think Faith can be trusted. She’s got weaknesses that haven’t even been revealed on this show yet, and I believe she’s hiding important information from you, Sybil. Important personal information.”

  My blood ran cold. She wasn’t … she wouldn’t … “Frankly,” Shari went on, “Faith put me in a very awkward position by confiding personal information to me that I felt should be revealed to you, Sybil.”

  I couldn’t believe she was saying it. Don’t say it, Shari, please don’t say it, I prayed silently.

  “What kind of information?” said Sybil, raising her eyebrows at me.

  Shari shook her head. “I’m not the kind of person to betray a secret, I’m a good friend, but I’m just saying, she isn’t what she seems, in ways that directly impact you, Sybil.” She wasn’t looking at me. “In ways that impact … your son. If only you knew what went on between them …”

  Sybil looked at me with narrow eyes, then glanced at the camera. “Faith, is there anything you would like to say to this?”

  I stared at Shari. She stared back at me. Her face was completely cold, completely devoid of emotion or empathy. She gave me the tiniest smile—an evil smile. I didn’t even recognize her. I looked at Sybil.

  “I …” I swallowed. “I happened to meet Harris … I mean Harry … a few days before I was cast on the show,” I said. “It was a total coincidence. I didn’t have any idea who he was, and we didn’t part on good terms. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything …” I realized as I said it that I wished we were. But that didn’t seem likely now.

  Sybil sighed. “I see,” she said. “Well, I don’t think that really has anything to do with the business at hand, and wasn’t a particularly appropriate subject to bring up in this setting.”

  I looked up. Really? She wasn’t going to hold that against me? It didn’t seem possible.

  Shari looked disconcerted, like her ace in the hole had failed her. She continued on at rapid-fire pace, trying another approach. “Well, in any case, Faith doesn’t really have anything you could build a show around. I mean, muffins?” She chuckled nervously. “Please. Nobody wants to watch a show about muffins. And she doesn’t fit in here. Frankly, she’s a bit lowbrow for your network. I, on the other hand, understand what’s appropriate, what’s beautiful, what people want.”

  Finally I had my voice back. “Lowbrow? Did you just call me lowbrow?” I said. “With Andy over here talking about threesomes and his twelve-inch cock for the past two months?”

  Andy grinned, proud of himself even after everything we’d said about him. Sybil cleared her throat. I’d said too much.

  “See?” Shari said to Sybil. I’d just proved her point. “Lowbrow. And now she’s going to sell out Andy.”

  “Excuse me, but you
’re selling me out.” I turned to Sybil, trying to stay rational and not sound like I was pleading. “I think I’ve proved many times over during the challenges that I have the kind of ambition and spirit to make a show into anything. Sybil, I’ve always envisioned myself as your protégé, someone who could take your message to a whole new generation of women who might not know about it yet—young women who crave meaning and quality and validation in their lives.” I was fighting for my life now. I’d never imagined it would come down to begging. “I understand you,” I said. “And I understand what you try to do with your company. And I understand exactly what the next generation of women wants. I would be the most valuable employee you could imagine. Please.”

  Sybil looked at me, but didn’t say anything. Marcelle was nodding and smiling. The camera operators looked riveted. At least we’re making good TV, I thought cynically.

  I turned on Shari. “I always thought you deserved to be here because you’re good at these challenges, and I do think you deserve to be in the final two. We’ve been through a lot together, you’ve been such a good friend to me, and I won’t pretend to understand why you’re saying these things about me now, except to say that I was warned about you, and I didn’t listen because I trusted you.”

  Shari looked genuinely surprised. How could she not suspect that at least some people might notice her treachery and report it? I sent up a little prayer of thanks for Mikki’s heads-up. “But you’re not the right person to win,” I said.

  “Oh, I’m the right person alright,” she said, smugly.

  “No, Shari, you’re not. What do you have to say? What’s your expertise? You don’t need the money, you can wipe your ass with hundred-dollar bills if you want to. Are you just bored? Are you just looking for something else to brag about?”

  “I would be perfect for a show on Sybil’s network,” Shari said. “How dare you imply I don’t need or deserve to win this show. I’m the best one here.”

  “What’s your show going to be about?” I shot back. “Being a housewife? Who would ever want to watch a show about being a housewife?”

  Sybil looked at the three of us and smiled. “Never underestimate the power of a housewife,” she said.

  I was really panicking now. I thought I was going to be sick right there in the room. Had I blown it? Was she going to cut me? I just couldn’t believe Sybil would send me home after keeping me here for so long. But we’d all been here just as long. And somebody had to go.

  “Shari, Faith, Andy, you’ve come a long way in this contest, and each one of you has distinguished yourselves. You’ve outlasted everyone else, but one of you has to go home today.” She paused for what seemed like five full minutes, although it was probably only twenty seconds.

  Finally, she spoke. “Andy, you’ve been unpredictable from the start. Your volatile behavior and uninhibited style have been the source of a lot of creativity throughout these challenges. You’re a hard worker, and there are a lot of successful, passionate, volatile people out there. I’m sure you’ll be successful in whatever you do. However, I’m afraid you aren’t right for us here at Sybil Hunter Enterprises. I’m sorry, Andy, but you’re just not necessary. Good-bye.”

  Wave after wave of emotion passed over Andy’s face. He nodded and stood up. “Thank you, it’s been an incredible opportunity,” he said. He reached out his hand, and Sybil shook it firmly, looking him directly in the eye. “Good luck to you. I’m sure you’ll do well.” He didn’t look at Shari or me, just turned and walked out of the room. And then he was gone.

  I looked over at Shari with new eyes. I saw her now for what she really was: cunning and mean, and solely out to win the game. Well, I could be cunning, too. She smiled innocently at me, a “can you believe we did it?” expression, but it was too late for that. She had probably been sure it would come down to Andy and her, and now it was me. That wasn’t what she’d planned. That was my advantage. Because now I knew who she really was—a snake. Someone I could never trust again, no matter what else happened, whether or not she ever apologized. I was through with her.

  “Congratulations, Shari and Faith,” said Sybil. “You are the final two. There is one last challenge to complete, and you will each get to choose three of the eliminated contestants to work for you. Choose carefully, as the employees we all hire can make or break us.”

  She looked at me. “Faith, your challenge will be to produce an indoor charity carnival, in conjunction with the Rainbow Ice Cream Company, to raise money for one of my favorite organizations, the Dreams Come True Foundation. The event must include a private reception for celebrity guests but will be open to the public. You must use all your skills and resources to create a memorable and profitable event.”

  She turned to Shari. “Shari, your challenge will be to produce a star-studded baby shower for my cousin, the film actress Natasha Darius, which will also raise money for another one of my favorite charities, the Babes in Arms Foundation. The shower will include guests Natasha selects as well as celebrities you recruit, who will be willing to donate money to the charity. You will each have a budget of five thousand dollars. You will have two days to complete your challenge. Now, I suggest you go back to the Loft and get some rest.”

  She stood and walked out of the room, followed by Alice and Ian. “Good luck,” Alice said to us. “Chins up!” She winked at me. She of all people must know what it’s like to be under Sybil’s thumb.

  Shari and I walked back to the Loft together without saying a word. Finally, when we got back inside, I turned on her. “Really?” I said.

  “What?” she said.

  “I thought you were my friend. I guess I was really dense to think that.”

  “Oh, Faith, stop,” she said lightly. “You would have done the same thing.”

  “No, Shari. I wouldn’t have, and didn’t, because they asked me who should go home first, and I knew it should be Andy.”

  “You sold out Andy,” she said. “I didn’t do anything different than you did. You just don’t like it because I chose you to go home first.”

  “It’s not the same. I didn’t say a single thing to Sybil Hunter that I hadn’t already said to Andy to his face at one time or another. But you… you stabbed me in the back. You turned into somebody I’ve never even met. What happened to ‘It’s you and me’? Do you really think I’m the one who should go home?”

  “Yes,” she said, “I do. I want to win, and you’re the one standing in my way.”

  “So it is a game to you. It’s a strategy.”

  “Don’t even pretend it’s not just as much of a game to you,” she said. “I see how you play the game. You’re always plotting how to win. You just have a different strategy than I do.”

  “I don’t worry about anyone else,” I said. “That’s my strategy. I always want to compete against the best. I said Andy should go home because he’s not as good as you. You’re the strongest opponent.”

  “At least we can agree on that,” Shari said.

  I could see that things had changed between us forever. “Who are you going to pick for your team?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “Pick whomever you want. It doesn’t matter. I can guarantee you, I’m going to win, no matter whom I choose. They all love me, and that’s more than you can say. There are consequences, my friend, to being so truthful all the time.” She slammed the bedroom door behind her.

  I sat down on the couch, feeling completely alone in the huge Loft that once held twelve hopeful contestants. And now I had to choose three of the people who probably hated me to come back and help me. Chaz was my first friend, but he hadn’t wanted to be there, so I didn’t think he would want to come back, and he was so easily stressed that I couldn’t imagine he would provide the kind of help I needed. Sadie had been cut too early to understand the pressure of what had to be done. Katie and Nadine definitely hated me, probably because of Shari, and Linda was too bossy and volatile for me. Christophe and Mikki were useless unless they were together. And even then
, they weren’t particularly helpful. Nice isn’t the same as helpful. And they were probably on their honeymoon by now.

  Although I was hesitant to turn around and hire him after saying he should be sent home, I wondered if I should choose Andy. What better environment for him than a carnival? He was big and over the top. Monica was a boozehound, but we’d parted on good terms, so she might actually be willing to try to help me. Or at least, not to stab me in the back. And … I hated to admit it, but the only other person I could really think of that knew me and knew how to work with me and hadn’t totally despised me from the start was Jodi Sue. Andy was right, I did think she was a moron, and I knew she was pissed off at me for what I’d said about her after the food truck challenge, but she had more experience than Chaz or Sadie, and she understood the pressure and the rhythm this task would require. And she was the only other one I’d really worked with before. I’d never been on a team with Linda, Nadine, or Katie. At least Jodi Sue was a known quantity.

  I wasn’t remotely sure it would work, but they were the only choices I really felt I had. Andy, Monica, and Jodi Sue, a team of lesser evils. After a few minutes, Shari came back out of the bedroom in her robe to make some tea. She didn’t offer to make me a cup. We didn’t speak until the phone rang. I answered it.

  “Hello, this is Polly. I need to know the team members you’ve chosen. I’ll have them in the conference room to meet with you at nine tomorrow morning.”

  “Hi, Polly,” I said. “I’ve decided on Andy, Monica, and Jodi Sue.”

  “Really?” said Polly. “Are you sure?”

  “As sure as I’m ever going to be,” I said.

  “And who has Shari chosen?”

  I handed Shari the phone. She murmured a few words, then I heard her say, “Katie, Nadine, and Linda.” She hung up the phone and took her tea back into the bedroom.

  I sighed and lay back on the couch. I didn’t want to go into that bedroom, where Shari was sleeping. I didn’t want to sleep where any of the others had slept, either. I could sleep out here. It was only for a few more nights. I shifted so I wasn’t lying on the microphone pack on my back. I couldn’t wait to take that thing off. I couldn’t help but wonder where Harris was right at that moment. Was he in bed with Christine? Was he out at a club looking for the next girl, or was he home thinking about me?