Heart's Design: A Contemporary Christian Romance

by JoAnn Durgin

  “I can just imagine how excited she is. Is she coming to help you out when the baby arrives?” Caroline snuck a carrot stick from the appetizer tray on the table and dipped it in the ranch dip.

  Liesel nodded. “Just try and keep her away. I know she’ll be a big help, but her arthritis is getting worse, I’m afraid. Dad’s not coming until sometime in the spring or summer. His heart’s still too weak for travel and he doesn’t want to take any chances. I know Mom hates to leave him, but”—she lifted her shoulders—“it’s one of those decisions they made together.”

  “It will be wonderful to see her.” Caroline munched on the carrot as she continued slicing the bread. Noticing that Liesel winced and reached for the kitchen counter for support, she dropped the knife and rushed to her side. “Are you all right, or is that a really stupid question to ask a woman who’s due any time now?”

  “You’re fine. Hold on,” Liesel croaked through clenched teeth. A moment later, she straightened up again. “Probably just more false labor. I’ve been having it off and on all week. When it’s your first baby, it’s kind of hard to tell sometimes.”

  “I wouldn’t know, but if you get the sudden urge to push, we’d better head for the hills. The hospital, that is. Go sit down and tell me what to do. I give you permission this once.”

  Liesel gave her a tired smile. “You’re cute. Really, you are. You look very stylish in your jeans and that green sweater looks great with your coloring.”

  Caroline hoped it didn’t look like she was trying too hard, but they were her best fitting jeans. She’d paired them with an ivory silk blouse, a long, heather green cardigan and brown ankle boots with more of a heel than she normally wore.

  “The fact that you have such a disgustingly great figure isn’t helping my sense of self-esteem any right now. And those boots make you look even taller.”

  “You are the most beautiful, glowing expectant mother I’ve ever seen, Liesel Mattingly! Don’t ever let me hear you talk about yourself that way.”

  Liesel burst out in a fit of giggles. “That was my shameless attempt to get a compliment. Thanks, I needed it. Is that one of yours?” She motioned to the pendant circling Caroline’s neck.

  “Yes, and”—Caroline pushed her long hair aside—“may I present the earrings.”

  “Perfect color match for the sweater. Glad to see you’re making a few things for yourself now.”

  “It’s called advertising, my friend. People see me wearing the jewelry around town and they ask me where I got it, I tell them, and I usually get an order or two every time I leave the house. Not that it’s my prime motivation for leaving the house.”

  “Well, I know I’m sitting here right now wondering how I can convince you to make one for me in the same design in a blue stone.”

  “Done. Consider it a belated anniversary gift to you.” Caroline resumed cutting the bread and then began adding the garlic spread.

  “Honey, the double wedding ring quilt you gave us should cover us until our silver anniversary. I still can’t believe you did that.”

  “Maybe I somehow knew how important you’d be in my life in another two years. No,” she said, darting a smile at Liesel, “more like God knew. I’m learning He’s amazing in that way.”

  “I feel the same way, girlfriend. And yeah, you never know what He’s going to be up to next.” They shared a smile. Liesel had marched over to Caroline immediately after the morning worship service on her first Sunday attending Evergreen Community Church. The slightly shorter blonde had thrown her arms unceremoniously around Caroline’s neck and thanked her profusely for the quilt. Liesel claimed that a process of elimination had helped her figure out she’d been the giver the quilt.

  Caroline checked the oven temperature. “Should I go ahead and put the bread in?”

  “Sure, but set the timer for ten minutes. Paul hasn’t called so I’m sure the guys will be here any minute. He usually only calls if he’s running late. They went over to the new rec center to check out the basketball court. Knowing them, they probably shot a few hoops while they were there. To test it out. Can’t say that I blame them.”

  As she put the tray of bread in the oven and set the timer, Caroline heard Liesel start her breathing exercises under her breath.

  “Maybe this dinner wasn’t such a good idea,” Caroline said, eyeing Liesel.

  “Hee-hee-hoo. Hee-hee-hoo.” Her friend rubbed one hand in a circular pattern over her belly. “You sound just like Paul. Nonsense. It’s not like I’m going to sit around eating bonbons and barking commands.” She laughed. “Maybe I should try that, after all. Doesn’t sound too bad.”

  The front door opened and Caroline heard the sound of male laughter. Her heart thundered in her chest when she heard Seth’s voice. She’d recognize that laugh anywhere. If she weren’t so terrified, she might be amused at the image she and Liesel must present—both gasping for breath in the kitchen—but for completely different reasons.

  She couldn’t run away now. Seth Barnes was in the next room, and the only thing separating them was the swinging kitchen door. Toby had made and installed it, actually. Not that it mattered right in this moment. What mattered was that Seth. Barnes. Was. Only. A. Few. Feet. Away.

  “We’d better head on out there. Oh, and by the way,” Liesel said, starting for the door, “I’m not sure if Paul told Seth that you’d be here.”

  Ah yes, the element of surprise. How fun. Grabbing the tray of dip and fresh vegetables, Caroline pasted on a smile.

  For better or for worse, Seth Barnes, here I come.

  Chapter 17

  ~~♥~~

  Seth was engrossed in a conversation with Paul as Caroline followed Liesel into the living room. Settling his gaze on his hostess, Seth pulled Liesel to him, as close as her belly would allow, in a big bear hug.

  Dressed in jeans, work boots, and a red flannel shirt over a white T-shirt, Seth looked…so good. Better than ever if such a thing were possible. Two years had only refined his attractiveness. Who was she kidding? The man was gorgeous. Caroline caught a glimpse of that endearing dimple. The only sign that he was slightly older were the beginnings of smile lines around his pale blue eyes.

  With his arms wrapped around Liesel, Seth spied her standing in the doorway. His gaze traveled the length of her as if he couldn’t believe it was really her. “Caroline?” His eyes widened.

  “Hello, Seth.” Still carrying the appetizer tray, she stepped closer as he released Liesel. “Small world.”

  He stared at her for a few more seconds. “I didn’t expect to see you. Here. Tonight.”

  She held up the tray. “Carrot?” Maybe she’d hung onto the tray as a subconscious barrier between them, preventing physical contact.

  Seth cracked a grin. “No thanks. I’ll pass until dinner.”

  “Then please excuse me for a moment.” Walking into the dining room, Caroline set the tray on the table. Liesel and Paul had conveniently disappeared into the kitchen. Within seconds, she stood before Seth again. Unsure what to do with her hands, she clasped them together in front of her, feeling like a kid.

  “It’s really good to see you, Caroline. I’d heard you’d moved here.”

  “I’d heard you’d gone to California.”

  “Yes. For work.”

  “Did you enjoy it?”

  “Loved it, but it’s not home. How was your first year of law school?”

  “It went well, thanks, but I’m no longer a Harvard Law student.”

  He nodded. “I hear you’re designing jewelry and have a real talent for it. I’m glad you’re following your dreams.”

  “Me, too.” She raised her chin. “I’m also a Christian. I started reading your Bible and it led me to a small study group where I met a lovely girl named Ana. She’s Hindi, was Hindi—I’m not exactly sure how that works—and she loves the Lord.”

  Seth’s eyes lit and he quickly pulled her into the circle of his arms. “You don’t know how happy that makes me,” he whispered in
her ear. “You don’t know how I’ve prayed for you.”

  “Thanks.” Being in this man’s arms seemed as natural as breathing, but she couldn’t do it without wanting more. She pulled back and he released her. “I trust in His promises, and He led me here. I had to get out of Boston. I was suffocating there. Not allowed to breathe.”

  “I know.” She could tell Seth did understand, as much as anyone she’d ever met.

  “If I’d stuck around, Mother was going to push me into dating a guy named Biff.”

  Her attempt at humor fell flat as Seth tilted his head, studying her with great intensity.

  “What?”

  His gaze held a question. “Caroline, why didn’t you answer my letter?”

  She shook her head, confused. “Which letter is that?”

  “I wrote a long letter and mailed it two weeks after we first met. To your home address.” Seth appeared equally perplexed. “You didn’t receive it?”

  “I’m sure I would have answered if I had. I received a short note saying you were glad we’d met and then the flowers—the gorgeous wildflowers—for my birthday. Thank you for remembering.”

  “That’s the thing. I couldn’t get you out of my head, but there were…complications. I explained it all in the letter. For once in my life, I wrote that letter by hand and I don’t have a copy.”

  “I understand. You don’t owe me any explanations. Besides, that was two years ago. A lot has happened in two years.” She glanced at his left hand.

  “I’m not married.”

  Her cheeks flooded with warmth. “I’m not usually so obvious.”

  “Listen, we need to talk, but this isn’t the place. Just know that I sent a letter.”

  “A Dear John letter?” Shaking her head, Caroline stepped back and lowered her gaze. She couldn’t look him in the eye and hear him tell her why they could never be together. Which was crazy since he’d never made any promises. Only that he hoped they’d see one another again…one day.

  Seth shook his head slowly, and what looked like sadness filled those blue eyes, deeper and richer than she remembered. “Are you free on Saturday?”

  The request threw her totally off-guard and Caroline wasn’t sure how to respond. “Why?” That was the best she could manage.

  “Have you been up to Old Speck yet?”

  “Old what?” She shook her head. “I haven’t heard of it.”

  “Old Speck is the third highest mountain in the state. If we hike up Old Speck Trail and then come back down the Firewarden’s Trails, it’s about five-and-a-half miles total. It’s best to get an early start. I can come pick you up, and I’ll bring a picnic lunch. All you need to do is say yes.”

  “So,” she said, chewing the inside of her cheek, biding her time. “You want to take me up on the top of the third highest mountain in Maine to tell me something.”

  “Well…yeah.” A hint of a grin appeared, making him difficult to resist. “I could take you to dinner if you’d prefer.”

  She tilted her head. “Wouldn’t that make it seem more like a date?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Are you dating anyone?”

  He blew out a sigh and looked the other way. “This seems to be a running theme between us. Yes, I’m dating someone, but like I said, I explained everything in the letter. This isn’t a date. It’s you allowing me to explain why I didn’t try harder to communicate with you or to see you.” He glanced away for a moment before returning his gaze to her. “I hope you’ll give me that opportunity.”

  “You’re not making much sense.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry about that.” He ran his hand through his hair.

  Understanding dawned. “Basically, you want to tell me why you can’t date me.”

  Seth nodded slowly and Caroline’s heart—her fickle, fickle heart—dropped to the hardwood floor.

  “Was I completely off-base to believe that we shared some kind of special connection when we met two years ago, Seth? Just tell me that much please. Allow me the courtesy of answering that question.”

  He stepped closer and took hold of both her hands.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” She pulled her hands out of his grasp.

  “No, you didn’t imagine it, Caroline. I felt the same things you did. You want the truth? After we met, part of me was ready to go home and break it off with Jenica. Maine and Boston aren’t across the country from each other. I hate the thought of a long-distance relationship, but I was willing to try. But then the more rational part of me took over. There were two reasons why I couldn’t pursue a relationship with you.”

  “Neither are Boston and Maine close enough, it would seem.” She couldn’t help it and the words slipped out of their own accord. But they were honest. “I’m the same girl now that I was then.” Then the truth hit her and she hung her head. “No, I’m not the same.” She lifted her chin. “I am a new creature in Christ. One of those reasons was because I wasn’t a Christian, wasn’t it?” The whole unequally yoked theory she’d once tried to explain to Paulina. She’d thought she was talking about egg yolks and chickens, of all things.

  “Yes.”

  “And the other?” Did he know how much it took out of her to ask? “I’m thinking it must be a pretty big reason if it trumps the not being a Christian reason.”

  “They’re both important reasons, but I need more time to tell you. And there’s something at home I want to bring and show you.”

  “Oh, so you have exhibits? Like in a trial? Or show and tell?”

  Seth snapped up his gaze and his eyes narrowed. She’d struck a nerve with that question. Maybe she could have softened her approach a bit, but the man was infuriating. Gorgeous and infuriating did not make for a good combination.

  “I’d really like to know what happened to that letter,” he said. So, he’d chosen not to answer. Fine. Two could play this game.

  A vision of her mother popped into her head. Mother knew about the letter. That’s how she’d known Seth’s name. Staggering forward, Caroline reached for the nearest chair and put both hands on the back of it to keep her balance.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Seth stepped forward, probably prepared to catch her should she sway or fall on the floor. “Caroline?”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said, holding up one hand, keeping him at bay. “I need to ask you a question. This might sound strange, but I have my reasons. Did you put your name in the return address on the letter you sent?”

  Surprised registered in his blue eyes. “I guess so, but I can’t be positive. I usually do. Why?”

  “I think I might know what happened to the letter.” Could her mother have been that intrusive in her life as to take Seth’s letter and not give it to her? Even more, had she read it? The thought sickened her and Caroline moved one hand over her stomach.

  From behind them, Paul grunted. “I hate to break up your reunion, but our dinner is served. That is, if you’re ready to eat.” He looked from one to the other of them. “If you’d rather wait, we can keep it warm in the oven.” Holding up both hands, Paul started to back out of the room. “You two take as long as you need. Just let us know.”

  “Of course. We’ll eat now.” Caroline escaped into the kitchen to help Liesel carry the dishes out to the table. “Put that down,” she scolded her friend as Liesel pulled the heavy lasagna dish from the oven where it’d been warming.

  “Well, how was I supposed to know how long you’d be?” After lowering the dish on a towel spread out on the kitchen table, Liesel removed the oven mitts. Her face was scrunched into a frown. “Friends tell each other things, you know. I thought we were growing really close.”

  “We are, Liesel. I meant what I said a few minutes ago. You’re my dearest friend. The Lord brought me here to Evergreen the first time, and I know he brought me here again. I just didn’t know what to expect with Seth.”

  “What I witnessed out there between you two was no small, passing acquaintance. I know Seth
was on a ladder with his face in your…”—Liesel waved her hand at her bosom—“you know. That was quite the story and, as you can imagine, people had a heyday with that one. Then I heard you two were in Java Joe’s looking all moony-eyed. Then you were sitting in the swing together right here on our porch and holding hands.”

  “We weren’t holding hands. Well, maybe… But it wasn’t romantic. Liesel, Seth cared enough about me to get to know me and he gave me his Bible.”

  “And you didn’t feel that was important enough to tell me?”

  “It’s not that.” She couldn’t find words adequate enough to explain what had happened between her and Seth two years ago. “You know how there are certain things, certain relationships in your life that are difficult to explain? My connection with Seth is like that. We shared some special moments, as tacky or as reality TV-like as that might sound, here in Evergreen when we first met. The weekend of your wedding.” She sighed and gave Liesel a helpless look. “But then I went back to Boston and Seth went home and then off to California or wherever else in the world he’s been globetrotting in the last two years. He had a girlfriend then and apparently he has one now.”

  “Caroline, all I know is, the tension in the living room between you and Seth was thicker than the morning fog over the mountains. And it sure looked like romance from where I was standing. There’s something simmering there between you two that hasn’t played out yet. But it will.”

  She’d need to ponder those words. But not now. “We’d better take the food to the table.”

  “Liesel? Everything okay in there, sweetheart?”

  “Yes, honey. We’ll be right out!” Liesel’s brow creased and she stumbled forward, grabbing onto the edge of the table for support. Seemed there was a lot of that going on in the inn tonight. “Go get Paul. I think it’s time to go to the hospital.” Beads of sweat glistened on her forehead.

  “Sure. Let me help you sit down first.” Caroline attempted to pry her friend’s stiff fingers away from the table to lead her to a chair.

  “No,” Liesel gasped. “Just get Paul. Please.” She leaned against the table, bracing herself with both hands.