by Aya Mai
Why couldn't she have fallen in love with a sweet book nerd. Because she would never have let it happen, that’s why. But why did she have to fall in love with Grayson Montgomery - Mr. Popular Player - who she would never be good enough for. Ava would always lack in some capacity. Grayson usually dated models, and Ava was no model. In six or so hours, she wouldn’t even have breasts anymore.
Before Ava had the chance to utter a word, Grayson was embracing her in an earth-shattering hug. It was warm, welcoming, and loving. Ava couldn’t help herself. She had to feel him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his body, indulging in the forbidden desire that was Grayson Montgomery.
A deep breath left Grayson, hot air blew into Ava’s ear as she felt his tense body relaxing in her embrace.
Something wet hit her neck, which made Ava pull back. The sight that greeted her stunned her and made her emotions do somersaults. Quiet tears were running down Grayson’s cheeks. He quickly wiped them away, offering her a smug smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
‘’What are you doing here?’’ Ava asked, letting go of Grayson in an attempt to stay focused and not get sucked into everything that was Grayson Montgomery. All he had to do was smile at her and she was a goner.
‘’Nicole told me what you were about to do. I had to come see you before the surgery.’’
‘’Nic, shouldn’t have done that. And I’m not changing my mind,’’ Ava said determinedly. ‘’There is proof of cell transformation in my breasts, so even though I technically don’t have cancer in both of my breasts, the chances of me getting cancer at a later point in life are big. Too big. So, it’s better for me to remove my breasts now...’’
‘’I know,’’ Grayson interrupted, taking Ava’s cold hands into his warm ones. ‘’I’m not here to tell you not to go through with the surgery. I’m here to support you, Ava. Whatever you decide on, I’m here. I’m here for you.’’
Grayson kissed each of Ava’s hands, squeezing them in reassurance.
‘’You are here for me?’’ Ava asked confused, watching Grayson’s red lips move with each word he spoke.
‘’I’m here for you,’’ he repeated.
‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’
‘’It means you need to stop being a stubborn church mouse, and instead, let me in and tell me how I the scoundrel made you break your first rule. You need to tell me you love me, sweetheart.’’
Ava gasped and tried to remove her hands from Grayson’s, but he held them firmly, keeping them prisoner while the smug smile on his face this time reached his flaming blue eyes. They burned with determination, desire, and…was that love.
‘’And I need to tell you the truth whether you like to hear it or not,’’ Grayson continued. ‘’The truth is that I love you, Ava Campbell. I feel for you like I’ve felt for no other woman before. So I’m going to be here...by your side...every step of the way.’’
Ava shook her head. She was imagining his words. This couldn’t be happening. Grayson Montgomery would never want someone like her. She was nothing but a church mouse, and soon, she would be an ugly, scarred excuse of a woman.
Grayson’s smile faltered for a moment, but then his jaw set and his eyes burned with even more determination than before.
‘’I love you, Ava. I don’t care you won’t say it back. But I’m here, and I ain’t going nowhere.’’
‘’What about the woman in the hotel room. I saw you,’’ Ava exclaimed, her voice holding more power than it had for weeks. Anger and jealousy roared through her body, she couldn’t contain her emotions anymore.
‘’It wasn’t what it looked like, and it’s not what you think.’’
‘’Seriously? You’re going to use those lines on me. Do you think I’m stupid!’’ Ava roared. It felt good to be angry; it beat feeling emotionless and miserable.
‘’No, I don’t, sweetheart. You are brilliant,’’ Grayson said sweetly, looking at her with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Why did he have to be so handsome? Even when he looked like he hadn't slept in days, he still looked so devilish good. It wasn’t fair.
‘’Grayson...’’ Ava whined, not knowing what she was about to say.
‘’She’s my half-sister.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’The woman you saw me entering that hotel room with, she is my sister. Her name is Molina Castillo. She is the outcome of one of my dad’s many affairs.’’
Ava’s mouth fell to the floor. Of all the things she had thought Grayson would say, this hadn’t been one of them.
‘’Your sister?’’
‘’My little sister.’’
‘’How did you find out? When did you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?’’ Ava asked, needing answers.
‘’Molina had tried to come into contact with me several times, but I’ve been refusing her calls because my dad warned me about Molina being a con artist scamming businessmen out of their money. Normally, I wouldn’t believe him, but he said she had already scammed him out of some money, and for some stupid reason, I chose to believe him,’’ Grayson growled in regret. ‘’Anyway, that day at the hospital when our nephew was born, Molina called me again. I heard her out and I agreed to meet with her to do a DNA test. I’ve just gotten the DNA results back. Molina is without question me and William’s half-sister. You can see the paper for yourself, but Nicole has it right now. She’s telling William about Molina as we speak.’’
‘’That’s huge news. I don’t know what to say,’’ Ava said with a smile on her face. She tried to contain it, but it was impossible. For weeks she had been miserable, thoughts of cancer, death, and Grayson playing on a loop in her head. Grayson hadn’t slept with the gorgeous woman in the hotel. The woman had been his sister. Ava couldn’t contain her happiness. Maybe just maybe Grayson’s words of love could be true. But if he loved her, why hadn’t he trusted her enough to tell her about Molina? ‘’Why didn't you tell me about her?’’
‘’I just needed a minute to process it all, and then you dumped me before I got the chance to explain, leaving me to deal with a broken heart.’’
‘’Oh.’’
‘’I love you, Ava. I need you to know that. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. But I want you to know that I’m here for you in the long run. I’m all in. I want you, and I want to be with you.’’
‘’But why?’’
‘’What do you mean why? You are amazing, Ava. You’re intelligent, driven, hard-headed, stubborn, honest, kind, remarkable, and beyond beautiful. You’re sexy as hell.’’
‘’What about after?’’
‘’After what?’’
‘’What about after...’’ Ava repeated, nodding toward the wall where all the horrible photos hung, tormenting her. What about after the surgery, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t get the words past her lips. What would Grayson feel about her when he realized what an ugly, scarred woman she would become.
Grayson followed her line of sight and gasped when he saw the photos. He let go of her hands, severing their connection. He walked closer to the photos, studying them.
Ava felt her heart break all over again. Grayson had finally realized what he had walked into. There was no way he would still want to be with her when he realized what it meant. The photos on the wall would scare him off. He would walk away from her, leaving her alone. She would have to see him at work and family gatherings, and each time, her heart would break. She had to find a way to survive it.
‘’You can leave now,’’ Ava said sullenly, giving Grayson the out she was sure he wanted. She studied the white floor with keen interest. She didn't need to see the apologetic look on Grayson’s face when he walked out of the room. The sound of the closing door would be torture enough to last a lifetime.
Why was everything in this room white? White was a cold and unforgiving color. One time she had worn a white blouse to work, and the first thing she had done was spill coffee all over herself. Grayson had laughed at her. A boisterou
s laugh. She had hated him for it, but the sound of his honest laugh had sent thrills down her spine.
She had been late for a meeting that day, so she hadn’t had the time to go home and change. She had been forced to wear her blazer on top of her blouse, and in California’s warm weather, it had been pure torture.
When the meeting had been over, she had already been running late for another meeting with a new author, making it impossible for her to drive home and change clothes. She had cursed at herself for not having an extra outfit at her office, which was something she had rectified since then.
Grayson had smiled at her and discreetly handed her a bag. The scoundrel had been so sweet to buy her a new silk blouse. She hadn’t wanted to wear it, but she hadn’t fancied dying of heatstroke, so she had worn the shirt he had bought for her. The inappropriate look he had given her all that day had left nothing to the imagination. He wanted her. Late that night after office hours, she had gone to his office to thank him for the blouse. A lot more than saying thank you had happened that night.
Grayson got down on his knees in front of Ava, obscuring her view of the white floor and the old memories flying through her mind. He took a firm hold on her hands and gazed determinedly into her eyes.
Ava knew what was coming - I’m sorry I can’t do this. I didn't know what it was that I was getting myself into. I can’t be with you. It’s too complicated. It’s not you, it’s me. We would never work. I shouldn't have told you that I love you; it was a mistake.
‘’I love you, Ava Campbell, and together we will beat this thing,’’ Grayson said with so much certainty that Ava almost believed him.
‘’You say that now, but what about later? What about after the surgery and I no longer have breasts? Or when I’m recovering and don’t feel up to doing anything? What about then?’’
‘’I swear I’ll be there for you, Ava. Every step of the way. I’m all in. I’ll take care of you.’’
‘’I don’t want you to take care of me. I know what it did to my dad when he had to take care of my mom, and I saw what it did to him when he had to take care of me. I can’t put you through that,’’ Ava sobbed. It would destroy her to make Grayson miserable, and in the end, have him walk away from her and into the arms of another beautiful, well-developed woman.
‘’Stop whining, Ava,’’ Grayson said, his voice steady and firm. ‘’I’m telling you that no matter how hard you try to push me away, it won’t happen. I love you. And I ain’t going nowhere, so get that through your thick, remarkable head of yours.’’
Ava was about to say okay, that she believed him, that she loved him, but then an overwhelming insecurity attacked her when she once again looked at the pictures on the wall. It was stupid of Ava to think that having her breasts removed would make her any less of a woman, but that was still how she felt, and she couldn’t help how she felt.
‘’What's the matter, love?’’ Grayson asked in a hushed whisper, almost as if he was afraid he would scare her away if he raised his voice again.
‘’You’ve never called me that before.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’Love,’’ Ava answered. ‘’You’ve never used that endearment before.’’
Grayson grinned mischievously.
‘’Well, get used to it, love,’’ Grayson repeated, drawing a smile out of Ava. ‘’Now quit changing the subject and tell me what’s the matter, tell me what it is that worries you.’’
‘’You,’’ Ava responded cryptically, not wanting to have this conversation. Once the words left her mouth, she could never unsay them.
‘’What about me? Do I frighten you?’’ Grayson asked, taking a step back, looking appalled by the thought of him scaring her.
‘’Yes, you scare me, Grayson Montgomery, but only because I never dreamed of developing the feelings that I have for you,’’ Ava sobbed. ‘’I’m afraid that when you look at me after the surgery, you’ll change your mind about me.’’
A knowing expression dawned on Grayson's face as if he could read her mind like an open book.
‘’You think I’ll change my mind about loving you after you’ve had your mastectomy.’’ Grayson huffed out a laugh. ‘’Do you really think that I only love you because you have a nice rack?’’
Ava flinched at his crude words, not wanting to answer them, not wanting to even think about them.
Two large and warm hands cupped Ava’s chins, making her realize she had closed her eyes at some point. Grayson forced her to look at him so he could gaze into her soul.
‘’No matter how nice your tits are, Ava Campbell, it’s not them that made me fall madly in love with you.’’
‘’I’m scared,’’ Ava replied, shaking uncontrollably.
Grayson pulled her into his arms, cocooning her in warmth and security.
‘’It’s okay to be scared, but know that I’m here for you, sweetheart.’’
‘’But what if you regret?’’
‘’I won’t.’’
‘’You can’t say that for certain, people change their minds all the time.’’
Grayson drew back, his face only an inch away from hers.
‘’Give me a chance to prove to you that I won’t change my mind, Ava. Risk your heart. Put it on the line. Let me prove to you that I’m going to be here for as long as you’ll have me. Risk your heart, Ava. Just like I am here today, risking mine.’’
As soon as the word okay left Ava’s mouth, Grayson’s lips were on hers, sealing their faith.
Chapter 13 - Ava
Three weeks.
It had been three weeks since Ava underwent her double mastectomy surgery. The surgery and the follow-up tests had been a success, meaning she no longer had cancer...or breasts.
She gazed outside from the couch she was lying on, blankets covering her pale body. She had been staying at Grayson’s apartment for the past three weeks at his command. The man had diligently been taking care of her, doing her every bidding for three full weeks, and it was driving her mad.
Ava no longer had her breasts. When she looked down her body, she was as flat as a ten-year-old boy. She hated the sight. She couldn’t even get herself to look at herself in the mirror. No wonder, Grayson neither looked or touched her. He was as disgusted by her as she was.
During the past three weeks, Grayson had been the perfect host. Too perfect. He refused to let her do anything on her own, worried she might strain a muscle. If she needed a glass of water, he got it for her. If she needed to change position on the couch, he helped her. If she needed to go to the bathroom, he peed for her. Almost. He would have done it if he could.
Ava wasn’t trying to be ungrateful. Grayson’s help had meant the world to her, but being locked up in an apartment for three weeks had her bored out of her mind. At least, she had been able to convince him to go back to work today and bring home some manuscripts for her to read. Ava couldn't wait. She needed a new manuscript to keep her entertained.
The red roses standing on the sofa table caught her eye. She had just received them from Martin Johansen earlier today. It was nice of him to think of her when she knew how busy he was with his current book tour.
The door to the apartment opened, and Grayson stepped into her view, looking his delicious self. She tied the blanket more firmly around her body, using it as a protective shield. She hated her new body. Not having breasts made her feel unwomanlike, and Grayson Montgomery was all man.
When Grayson hadn’t been at the office or having meetings with William or been busy doting on her, he had been in the small home gym he had in his apartment. He would spend hours and hours inside the gym. Ava had even woken up several times at night to the sound of Grayson hitting the punching bag.
Grayson had always had an impressive physique, but the extra time he had spent in the gym the last couple of weeks had only added to his muscles and made his jaw even more square. He looked strong, rough, and handsome. He looked even more out of Ava’s league than ever before.
‘’Hi,’’ Grayson said, squeezing her shoulder. ‘’Have Nicole stopped by?’’
‘’Nt yet. She’ll be here any second.’’
‘’Your dad then?’’
‘’No, he was here yesterday.’’
‘’Then who are the flowers from?’’ Grayson muttered, his eyes glued to the manuscript in his hand.
Ava looked at the red roses on the sofa table with a smile.
‘’They are from Martin.’’
‘’Martin?’’ Grayson asked with raised brows.
‘’Martin Johnson.’’
‘’Oh...that Martin,’’ Grayson grumbled, his eyes turning back to the manuscript in his hands. Ava thought she saw his jaw tick, and his eyes flinch a little with jealousy when she had mentioned Martin’s name, but when Grayson looked at her again, he was all smiles, so it must have been wishful thinking.
‘’I got a new manuscript that I want you to read. It’s important to me. I love it.’’
Grayson’s enthusiasm made her lips tick upward, but it also pained her that this was the first time in three weeks he had used the word love.
Ava greedily took the manuscript, itching to see what the manuscript had that she didn’t. She cursed at herself for being jealous of a manuscript. Love was stupid. It messed with people’s rational minds. She hated it. She hated the power it had over her.
‘’Who’s Annabelle Hart?’’ Ava asked, reading the author’s name out loud.
‘’She’s a new author. She’s amazing. I want her.’’
‘’You want her?’’ Ava asked dejectedly, giving the manuscript and Annabelle Hart the stink eye.
‘’Yes, and I want you to meet her. I think you two would get along great. Annabelle is an amazing author. She’s sweet and kind, and she loves books. You two are very alike,’’ Grayson said with great eagerness, not noticing Ava’s disgruntled mood. ‘’Listen, I’m gonna run out for a moment, will you be alright on your own?’’
‘’Of course, I will,’’ Ava said, muttering she wasn’t a child. But Grayson sure made her feel like one. His constant doting on her was starting to get on her nerves. Mainly because he no longer saw her as a woman, but as a child that needed constant care.