by Aya Mai
Epilogue - Seven years later
Grayson
Water dripped down on his face. It seemed cliché to Grayson that of all days, it had to be raining today. They lived in California for fuck’s sake. It never rained here. Except for today, creating the perfect setting for a funeral. Life was playing a mean joke on him and on all the people gathered here today.
Anger filled every fiber of Grayson’s being. Life wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be standing here. It was all a horrible dream that he knew he would never wake up from. At least, he had his girls. Emma was already six, and little Ashley had just turned three. Time flew by when you were happy and living in bliss. Grayson’s two daughters clung to his hands. The connection gave him the strength he needed to get through today.
As the people gathered around the casket, watching it get lowered down in the cold, dark ground, the song ‘Nothing compares 2 U’ played in the background. His family had never been particularly religious people and hadn’t known what song to choose. It was Nicole who had suggested the song with Sinéad O’Connor. It was the song that had been played at Nicole and Ava’s mother’s funeral. Grayson had talked to his mother about the song, and they had immediately agreed that it was the perfect choice.
The thought of his wife brought a smile to Grayson’s face and an instant longing for her erupted in his chest. 3254 days. He had known and loved his wife for 3254 days. He squeezed his daughters’ hands and hoped they weren’t old enough to remember this day. He had considered leaving them with a nanny, but that seemed cold and heartless. He wanted them there with him for his own selfish reasons. He needed their strength and their love.
Grayson removed his gaze from the soon to be fresh grave and looked up in the sky, the soft raindrops wetting his skin, the high humidity making it hard to breathe. He looked back down and gazed over at his mother that was standing next to him. She was crying. Grayson immediately felt guilty and filled with shame. He should be crying as well. It was a sad day. The loss had destroyed him, but he just couldn’t seem to find any tears to give to the world. The anger he felt was constant and all-consuming.
As the funeral celebrant spoke his parting words, Grayson looked over at his brother, who was standing on the other side of their mom. William was surrounded by his own family, Nicole and their three children. The sight of Nicole made Grayson think of Ava again, not that she ever was far from his mind. Nicole was as kind as Ava, but they didn’t resemble each other in looks at all. It made him miss Ava’s smile and delicious strawberry-scented hair. At least, his two girls had inherited their mother’s beauty.
Over the years, Grayson and William had grown closer to their mother. She wasn’t really a mother in the traditional sense, but now, she was there for them and her grandchildren. The kids loved to hang out with their grandma. Grayson looked down on his two angels, hoping nothing would change after today. Hopefully, they were still too young to remember this horrible day.
Unfortunately, Grayson wasn’t young enough, he would remember this day for the rest of his life. The death had come as a surprise, but in hindsight, he should have known something was wrong. For days he had wondered how he hadn’t been able to see the signs, to see the sickness.
A Hispanic woman caught Grayson’s eye when he looked over his mother’s head. He had to do a double take to be sure that what he was seeing was real. His half-sister, Molina Castillo, was standing in the back, her eyes filled with tears. Grayson gave her a thankful nod, telling her without words how much it meant for him that she was there. His mother didn’t much care for Molina, but she had become a part of Grayson and William’s lives.
Grayson was sure Molina would sneak off before his mother would see her, just as she had snuck into the funeral. Grayson took a deep breath, Molina’s support hit him harder than he had expected. He knew she had wanted to attend the funeral to say her own goodbye, but Grayson hadn’t had the strength to argue with his mother regarding Molina attending the funeral. Once again his mother had managed to get her wishes, which was something the woman was good at.
Occasionally, Grayson wondered if he wasn’t more like his mother than his dad when it came to doing business, because in recent years, he had been pleasantly surprised by his mother’s cunning business skills. She was always effective, fair, and mean when needed to be.
The funeral celebrant was the first person to reach him and the Montgomery family, offering his condolences. After that, every attendee walked past them, shaking their hands, offering their love, support, and condolences. Many people had shown up for the funeral. He didn’t even know half of them. All their faces blended together.
‘’My condolences,’’ an elderly woman offered. Grayson had seen her before, but he couldn’t remember her name. ‘’I’m sorry for your loss. Sickness is a horrible thing, and at such a young age. It’s just awful. I...’’
‘’Thank you for your condolences,’’ Grayson interrupted the elderly lady, who seemed to be one of those ladies who could chat for days. He wasn’t in the mood to chat, quite the opposite actually. He wanted this whole thing to be over with as quickly as possible so he could go drown his feelings in alcohol.
When the line ended and the last person had given their condolences, Grayson sat down on his haunches and hugged his daughters, crushing them against his chest, his entire body exploding with happiness that he had them.
‘’Are you guys joining us at the mansion?’’ his mother asked, her makeup still intact and her hair perfectly styled. The black dress she wore stood in stark contrast to her pale skin. ‘’William and Nicole and the children are coming over and staying for dinner, wouldn't you guys like to join us?’’
Emma and Ashley jumped in joy, always wanting to spend time with grandma in her big castle as they called it. The house was a mansion. It was huge, but not quite a castle.
‘’I guess that settles that then,’’ his mother said, grabbing Emma and Ashley's hands, looking at Grayson with raised brows, daring him to refuse her wish. He couldn’t help but smile at her. His mother was one hell of a businesswoman. She was a Montgomery. She always got what she wanted and never took no for an answer.
‘’We would love to, Mom. But if it’s okay with you guys, I would like to spend some time alone.’’
‘’Grayson,’’ his mother admonished sadly. ‘’I don’t think it’s wise for you to be alone right now. None of us should be alone right now.’’
‘’I just need a couple of hours, okay? How about I go back to the house and pack some things so that me and the girls can stay the night at yours, how does that sound?’’
‘’Well, I would appreciate it. Thank you, honey,’’ his mother said, placing a motherly kiss on his cheek.
Grayson hugged his daughters’ goodbye before sharing a manly hug with William, both of them slapping each other on the back.
‘’I’m sorry, brother,’’ William said, which Grayson quickly returned with a likewise.
Nicole jumped into Grayson’s arms, hugging him tightly, crying against his chest. ‘’I’m sorry about your loss…and your shirt. I've ruined it with all my crying,’’ she stuttered and wiped her eyes when she drew back from him. ‘’I’m so sorry, Grayson. I’m bad with funerals. I can never control my sprinklers.’’
‘’Thank you for your words, Nicole. And don't worry about the shirt, it’s just a shirt. I won’t be wearing it again anyway.’’
Nicole gave him a sympathetic smile. Grayson had tried to catch a whiff of Nicole’s scent, but her hair didn’t smell of strawberries. It smelled differently, not bad, but not like Ava. Grayson just had to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t here with him. He didn’t blame her, but he did miss her furiously. It wasn’t even four days ago he had held her in his arms while lying in bed, snuggling together in the early morning hours.
‘’Come on, girls. Let’s go home to my place,’’ his mother said, both his girls kissing him on the cheek before following their grandmother toward the waiting town car.
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br /> ‘’I’ll see you all later,’’ Grayson said, putting on a brave face. He couldn’t wait until he was alone. A couple of hours was all he needed.
‘’Call us if you need anything,’’ Nicole said before her and William and their three children went to their car and drove off to the mansion that had been his and William’s childhood home.
Grayson didn’t feel like going to the mansion. He didn’t want to be surrounded by the memories that place held. He didn’t want to go back to the house either. He didn’t want to do anything at all. The thought of Emma and Ashley was all that kept him going. He needed to be there for them. He probably needed them more right now than they needed him.
The drive back to the house was short and uneventful. The place was empty. Grayson hadn’t expected anything else, but it seemed emptier than empty. There were no signs of people having been here recently. There were no discarded clothes on the floor, no toys haphazardly thrown around the place, and no laughter to be heard. The place seemed dark and cold.
He rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his wet hair, small droplets of water flying everywhere. He yanked his tie off so he could finally breathe again. The tie had felt like a noose around his neck during the whole funeral. He pulled off his suit jacket and hung it on the chair in his home office. He sat down after having poured a scotch, nursing it in his hands, the sour taste burning on his tongue.
Exhausted, Grayson leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, trying and failing to come to terms with today’s events.
Quiet tears slowly made their way down his chins. He hadn’t cried at all, not when he had been informed of the passing, not in the hospital, or during the funeral, but now he cried. For a short period of time, he had worried something inside of him had been broken due to his lack of tears. But now, in his loneliness, the tears fell freely, and he did nothing to stop them. He didn’t have anything or anyone to worry or care about at the moment. He was all alone. There was no one he needed to be strong for. Here in the darkness of his office, he could let the weakness he felt in his joints overtake him until he had to go back to his mother’s place and once again be strong for her and his children.
Two warm arms coming down Grayson’s chest from behind him, a head nuzzling against his neck, a mouth placing wet kisses on his throat, and hair that smelled of summer and strawberries made Grayson snap his eyes open, realizing his dream wasn’t a dream, but reality. He must have dozed off after having finished his drink.
Grayson immediately and without hesitation grabbed the wandering hands and gently guided the person around the chair and in front of him, taking the woman into his arms, placing her securely in his lap as he inhaled that familiar scent of strawberry again.
‘’What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t flying in before tomorrow?’’ Grayson asked, looking up into the beautiful face belonging to his wife.
The sight of Ava made his heart feel lighter than it had in days, her presence calmed his raging emotions.
‘’I caught an earlier flight, but I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the funeral. I really wanted to be there for you and the rest of the family.’’
‘’No, it’s okay. They understand,’’ Grayson assured her. No one blamed her. Ava had been stuck in London on business and wasn't supposed to come home until tomorrow.
Grayson had looked forward to picking her up from the airport, but he was even more thrilled that she was here now. He needed her. He had always known how important she was to him, how lost he would be without her, and knowing her history with cancer, it made him realize how easily it could have been her in that casket today instead of his father. The thought made his eyes burst with a new set of tears.
Eric Montgomery had suffered a stroke and had died in his office. Alone. Grayson was now more than ever thankful for his brother, mother, and for Ava. They had all changed him for the better. If they hadn’t been in his life, he would have become his father.
‘’Don’t cry, honey,’’ Ava muttered, kissing him and placing one of his hands on her round belly. The sight of their wedding bands on their joined hands, resting on her pregnant belly made Grayson shake with joy.
‘’How are my baby boy and my baby mama doing?’’
‘’We’re doing just fine.’’
‘’No more traveling, right?’’ Grayson asked. He had hated the idea of her going to London in her condition. She had attended a three-day long international book conference in CPH’s name.
‘’I promise, no more traveling.’’
The words satisfied Grayson, but for some reason he couldn’t stop his eyes from tearing up. He couldn’t let go of the thought of Ava in a casket, having lost her life to cancer. He tried to focus on the fact that she hadn't had cancer since her run-in with breast cancer all those years ago. However, sometimes it still felt like it was yesterday they had battled the disease.
‘’How are you holding up? And where are our two little hellions?’’
Grayson relaxed under Ava’s touch as she ran her hands through his hair. His wife always knew just the thing to calm him down.
‘’They’re at Mom’s. William and Nicole and their children are there as well. I promised Mom that I would stop by later and spent the night there so she wouldn’t be alone.’’
‘’We can all spend the night there. Emma and Ashley would love it. But don’t worry so much about your mother; she is strong and feisty.’’
‘’I know. I’m glad we've grown closer over the years. She’s completely different as a grandmother than she was as a mother.’’
‘’You do know that she has always loved you in her own way, right?’’
‘’Yeah. At least now I understand her behavior. As kids, me and William loved playing with dad because he was never home very much. But as we grew older and stopped playing, he wasn’t really a dad. He was never there. He was always working or sleeping around. Looking back, I see things so much clearer now. The love and respect I have for my mother has grown considerably.’’
Grayson looked up at his wife, making sure she was still there in his arms and not a figment of his imagination. She moved around in his lap, making his cock spring to life, a tiny moan leaving him. Ava gazed at him with a smug smile, knowing full well what she was doing to him.
‘’I love you, Ava Montgomery. I hope you know that and never doubt it or me. I promise I’ll never be like my father.’’
‘’I know. And I love you too, Mr. Montgomery.’’
‘’William was always the oddball in our family, he always did his own thing and didn’t need validation from anyone. He knew what he wanted to do, and he didn’t care if other people found him weird. William was never impressed with dad. I, however, thought he was a hero.’’
‘’Most kids don’t think their parents can do no wrong.’’
‘’One time on my birthday, dad didn’t show up. Mom said he was stuck in traffic. I remember being so mad that I screamed at her, calling her all sorts of things, telling her I only wanted my dad and not her. I was so horrible to her that day. It wasn’t until I grew older that I figured out it had been a lie. My dad hadn’t been stuck in traffic, he had just forgotten about me. She had lied for him so I wouldn’t hate him.’’
‘’You were just a child, Grayson. A child who wanted their dad,’’ Ava said, trying to ease his guilt.
‘’I made her cry that day. Mom could easily have told me that Dad had forgotten about me because he was busy screwing his latest fling, but she didn’t. She knew it would break my heart. Instead, she put on a brave face and gave me a great birthday. I reckon my words must have broken her heart. I guess my behavior when I grew older reminded her so much of my father that she found it hard to be around me. She did tell me one time that every time she looked at me, she saw dad.’’
‘’You are no longer the man who worked for Eric Montgomery, and you’ll never be again. You are my husband.’’ Ava leaned in, kissing him quickly before leaning back. ‘’And your mom loves you, Gra
yson, and so did your dad in his own fucked up way.’’
‘’I’m not so sure about him. He only really loved himself and those who were willing to do his every command. For years, I thought he would change and reach out and be a good dad and grandfather, but he never did. He remained the successful and heartless businessman. I always thought we’d figure it out and come to an arrangement of some sort, but now it’s too late. I don’t even know what it was that I wanted from him.’’ Grayson chuckled sinisterly. ‘’Besides, I could have just as easily reached out to him and been the one to take the first step in improving our relationship, but I never did, and now I’ll never get the chance to do it. Eric Montgomery died alone in his office, Ava. No one noticed or cared that he didn’t make it home from the office that night. That fate could easily have been mine.’’
‘’That will never be you, honey. You have me and Emma and Ashley and soon a baby boy. If you don’t come home one night, I’ll hunt your ass down,’’ Ava responded with conviction, her nails scraping against his scalp, his church mouse showing off her claws.
Grayson laughed and hugged his wife fiercely. His laughter died down when he once again was flooded with old memories that he hadn’t shared with anyone before, not until now.
‘’One year on my parents wedding anniversary, she was sitting in front of her vanity in a new dress, her makeup and hair perfectly done. I remember thinking she was beautiful. I gave her a drawing as a present. She just looked down on me and started crying, hugging me to her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said nothing. She said her tears were happy tears because she loved my drawing so much. She said it was the best gift she had ever gotten. I was too young to understand her lies; I just told her she was being silly.’’
‘’Do you know the truth now?’’
‘’I’m afraid so. Dad didn’t come home on the night of their wedding anniversary because he had been too busy fucking his secretary. Then the next day at dinner, he had surprised Mom with an expensive diamond bracelet. She hated it because she knew what it represented, but she wore it with a big fake smile. I guess she was a pro by then. The bastard bought her a lot of expensive gifts, all of them holding a double meaning.’’