Bike Week Blues

by Mary Clay

  Penny Sue started twirling her hair. “A dumb requirement. I went to school to find a husband. What good was swimming for that? After all, I wasn’t looking to marry Tarzan and live in a tree. Yachts with life preservers and penthouses are more my style.”

  I draped the towel over a chair and sat at the table. “Come on, how did you get out?”

  The hair twirling intensified. “You know how all freshmen were required to take the test and if they didn’t pass, they had to sign up for swimming lessons?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I was out sick that day. Lord, I thought I’d made it. Then, a week before graduation, this muscle bound physical education teacher tracked me down and said I couldn’t walk down the aisle unless I took the test. I guess they felt sorry for me, seeing how I was on the verge of tears, had already gone an extra semester to get enough credits, and was scheduled to marry Andy in two weeks.”

  Penny Sue hadn’t graduated with us because she refused to take any early morning classes. Consequently, she couldn’t get in the core courses and had to go an extra semester, dictating an August wedding instead of the traditional June nuptials.

  “Coach Hanson told me if I could get up and back the length of the pool any way, even dog paddle, and tread water for two minutes, she’d pass me. I almost had a panic attack, yet knew I had to do it. Considering the amount of money Daddy had dished out for the wedding, drowning was preferable to not graduating.”

  “You could have still gotten married,” Ruthie said.

  “No, Daddy knew I would never finish college once I was out from under his thumb, and he was bound and determined that I have a degree from University of Georgia. Not that my degree in anthropology has done a darn bit of good, but he was adamant that I would carry on the family tradition.”

  She was really twirling her hair now, the mere memory making her nervous.

  “So, you passed?” I asked.

  She let out a long sigh. “Barely. I dog paddled up and back the length of the pool. The whole time Coach Hanson paced me from the side of the pool with a long pole. I guess if I’d gone under, she’d have speared me like a fish. Anyway, then it came to treading water. I was considerably skinnier in those days, and I swear, if it hadn’t been for the buoyancy of my boobs, I’d never have lived through the test. By the end of the two minutes, only my nose was above water.” She ran her hands down the front of her torso. “Heckle and Jeckle, here, saved my life—”

  Heckle and Jeckle? The talking magpies from the old cartoons. Gawd, I wouldn’t touch that with Coach Hanson’s ten-foot pole!

  “—and the wedding.” She sighed and untangled her finger from her hair. “The wedding was great.”

  Yes, once the wedding started—Penny Sue overslept.

  “A shame the marriage only lasted eight months.” Penny Sue shook her head ruefully. “It’s amazing the difference it makes to live with someone, rather than just date. I had no idea Andy was so dumb. I don’t mean to be cruel, but that boy was truly thick.”

  Duh. Andy played tackle and was captain of the football team. Poor boy had probably become thick from butting heads one time too many. Last I heard, he was selling cars in Valdosta.

  Penny Sue stared into the distance.

  “You’re thinking about Rich,” Ruthie observed.

  “Yeah. I can’t believe he’s associated with Vulture, and especially Red. She’s crude and rude—nothing like his wife, who was the ultimate Southern belle. Soft spoken, never lost her temper, a great cook—from everything Rich told me, his wife was an absolute saint. The exact opposite of Red.”

  “Red flirted with Rich last night. He didn’t reciprocate—he walked away, remember?” Ruthie said.

  Penny Sue nodded. “I’m afraid Rich doesn’t realize Vulture is the leader of a wacko cult. If Rich does know about Vulture, he’s in over his head and doesn’t know how to get out.” She stared at us, pleadingly. “Don’t you see? I’ve got to help him.”

  Yes, I did see. Penny Sue, savior of the world, as at it again. Only this time, her good intentions might lead to some very bad results for all of us.

  “We should lay low today,” Ruthie said. “It’s the new moon. Not the time to press our luck.”

  “You’re probably right,” she allowed slowly. Penny Sue snapped the Bike Week Supplement open and went back to reading.

  I was stunned that Penny Sue gave in so easily and wondered if Ruthie could come up with an astrological excuse to abort the whole silly search. I’d ask at the first opportunity. For now, I was grateful to be off the subject of Rich. I strode to the table at the far end of the pool and retrieved my cellular phone. First, I checked the answering machine at the condo. Thankfully, there were no messages.

  Next, to fill Ted in on our new whereabouts. I hesitated before pushing the button. My feelings about him had changed since that motorcycle ride. It was so sensual, and I’d gotten such a warm feeling from hugging his waist. My face suddenly felt warm. Magawd, was I a sex-starved divorcee, or was I falling for him? No, I told myself quickly, we were merely friends. With two boys, his life was too complicated for me, and I still hadn’t finished sorting out my own life. I pushed the button and immediately got Ted’s answering service. He must be on duty. I left a simple message that we’d decided to take his advice and had moved in with Fran for a few days. If he got a moment, give me a call. Otherwise, we were fine, and had hidden Penny Sue’s car in Fran’s garage.

  Now for Ann. I looked at my watch. Three o’clock here which meant it was eight in the evening in London. Not too late to call. I took a deep breath and dialed.

  “Mom, I was hoping it was you.”

  I could hear a lot of noise in the background. Voices, plates—they must be having dinner. “Is this a bad time? I hear a lot of commotion.”

  “No, no. We’re in a restaurant. Hold on, I’m taking you to the lobby where we can talk.” I waited. “Now, this is much quieter. I’m standing by the cloakroom. Can you hear me?”

  “I can hear fine. How are you, darling?”

  “Terrific. Isn’t it great news about Daddy coming next month? I hope you can come then to meet Patrick. He’s really looking forward to meeting you both.”

  Okay, the speech I’d rehearsed. The one I’d stewed over since I heard about Zack going to Europe. “I’m sorry, Ann, but the timing isn’t good for me. You know, I have a job and they depend on me. Besides, I’m still sorting through my finances from the divorce. A trip to England would be difficult right now.”

  “Wouldn’t Daddy pay for it?”

  I rolled my eyes. Kids. It was like she didn’t understand that the divorce was final and our lives were separate now. Heck, her father was living with another woman. I guess, since he was still subsidizing her, Ann assumed nothing had changed on my end. My property settlement would eventually be increased substantially, thanks to Penny Sue’s Daddy, but the final accounting was months away.

  “Honey, your Dad’s not going to pay my way. We’re divorced.”

  I could have come up with the money if I wanted to—I knew Penny Sue or Ruthie would lend it to me. But, I sure as hell didn’t want to go with Zack. Besides, I needed to slow down this engagement.

  “Don’t you think Daddy would give you some of his frequent flyer miles? I’d like Patrick to meet you together. After all, you’re my parents, and you’ll both be in the wedding.”

  Oh lord, it was worse than I thought. Formalities aside, Ann was already engaged in her mind and planning the wedding. I stroked my forehead. Penny Sue and Ruthie had both advised me to go the extra mile, no matter how hasty I thought the engagement was. To do otherwise might draw a knee-jerk elopement. “Let me check at work and see how the schedule looks for next month. When exactly will your father be there?”

  “April 17 through the 25th.”

  “What about our agreement? Did you get Patrick’s birthday like you promised?”

  “Yes. Even though Patrick thought it was crazy, he was a good sport. I have his birth cert
ificate. Hold on, it’s here in my purse.”

  I motioned to Ruthie for a pen. She pulled out her laptop instead. I could hear Ann fumbling in her pocketbook in the background.

  “November 19, 1964. Scranton, Pennsylvania. 4:28 a.m.”

  I repeated the information so Ruthie could take it down. She winked, indicating she was already on the case.

  “Ruthie has mine, right?” Ann asked.

  “I’m sure she does.” Or, maybe Ruthie’d conveniently lost it. Depends on how the astrology went.

  “Patrick and I would love to see a copy of the horoscope. Will you send it to me?”

  “Of course. Any chance you and Patrick could come to the states for a long weekend? You could stay with me in Florida.” And maybe meet Carl. “I’m sure the weather here is a lot better than it is in England.”

  Penny Sue glanced over the top of her newspaper.

  “Mom, that would be tough. I’m an intern—at the bottom of the totem pole. Getting off would be next to impossible.”

  “I understand,” I said weakly.

  “Hey, how about if I call Daddy and ask him, as a favor to me, to give you some of his frequent flyer points for a ticket? You’d have separate hotel rooms, of course, but Patrick can probably arrange big discounts, maybe even a comp for you. I have a tiny flat and a roommate, so I don’t think you’d be comfortable staying with me.”

  Free airline ticket. Comp room. Darn, my excuses were dissolving. “Hold off until I check at work. Like you, I’m at the bottom of the totem pole.”

  Ann paused. “Never thought of that—I guess you are. Mom, Patrick’s very special, I love him.”

  My eyes filled with tears. My darling baby wanted to marry an old man. I thought of her and Zack, Jr.’s precious little handprints that I’d had cut out of the patio in Atlanta before I moved. The new owners were angry, because I’d filled the hole with a decorative tile that said Home Is Where The Heart Is. The yuppie twerps didn’t like the saying, thought it was old-fashioned. Hmph, I should have gone with my first inclination, that famous Southern saying: Eat Shit and Die! They’d gotten a great price on the house, a price that wasn’t high enough to include my sweet babies’ hands.

  Penny Sue noticed my scowl and gave me the old finger-across-the-throat motion, indicating I should stop talking. She was right. Stop on a good note. I sniffed. “Ann, all I want is for you to be happy.” And, that was the truth.

  Ruthie was already punching buttons on her computer. “What’s his last name?” she asked.

  I didn’t know. My daughter was planning a wedding and I didn’t even know the man’s last name. “I never asked.”

  “I have to give him a last name, because the program won’t work otherwise.”

  “Call him Old Lecher.”

  “I thought you were going to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

  “I said I’d try. I am trying; it’s just hard. Ann’s already planning the wedding.”

  “Come on,” Ruthie said. “I have to put something.”

  “How about O’Lech? Goes with Patrick, don’t you think?”

  “Um-m,” Ruthie muttered.

  I pulled up a lounge chair and peered at the computer. “What do you see?”

  “He’s a Scorpio. They tend to be secretive and controlling. His Neptune conjuncts his Sun, which makes him doubly so. Also, makes him very psychic which means he could be a good manipulator.”

  Ha, I knew it. He was using his psychic abilities to lure Ann into his web. “What else?”

  “You have to understand that people are not victims of their astrology. Astrology merely shows traits a person is born with. If a person learns from experience, they can transcend their charts.”

  “Come on, Ruthie, what are his traits? It’s not good, is it?”

  “He has a lot of personal magnetism, which makes it easy for him to draw people to him. Unfortunately his emotional life will probably always be a wreck and he’s prone to addiction. His love life tends to be a disaster because he doesn’t know what he wants. He goes after things for status, then when he gets them, realizes it wasn’t what he wanted.”

  The chicken salad that tasted so good going down suddenly felt like a lump in the pit of my stomach. “Any other good news?”

  “He’s rash and unpredictable. Could be violent.”

  “Violent?” That’s it. There was no way I was letting Ann marry this monster. I had to stop her. How? “What should I do?”

  Ruthie closed the laptop. “Don’t jump to conclusions. As I said, he may have outgrown all of these tendencies. As a child he may have been rash and hasty, yet, through experience, outgrown it.”

  Penny Sue put down her paper. “I think it would be wise to delay things if you can. Encourage them to live together. Really let them get to know each other. If Patrick has a dark side, it should come out. If there’s one thing I regret about my past is that I was a little hasty.”

  I looked up at the sky, certain a bolt of lightning would strike me at any moment. Did I hear Penelope Sue Parker, the woman with at least fifty soul mates—that I knew of—admit, for the second time in one day, to being hasty? Mercy.

  “I wish I knew Rich’s birthday. I can’t believe I didn’t think of asking. Ruthie, have you checked our forecasts recently?”

  Ruthie turned her head, pretending to watch a large yacht sail past. “Yeah, nothing out of the ordinary.”

  Uh huh. I didn’t buy it.

  Penny Sue didn’t notice. “Maybe we should try to find that psychic, Pauline. She lives close by, doesn’t she? I could go for a reading. How about you, Leigh? You could ask about Ann and Patrick.”

  “I’d do that.” Pauline proved to be amazingly accurate in our last reading, except, we didn’t know how to put the pieces together at the time.

  Penny Sue got up and headed to the house. “I’m sure the people at Chris’ Place will know how to reach Pauline.”

  As soon as Penny Sue was out of earshot, I turned to Ruthie. “What’s in our forecasts?”

  “All three of us have some stress—it’s one of those aspects that affects everyone at about the same age. Usually, those are no big deal. Only, Penny Sue has two fairly nasty influences right now. One indicates something sudden and the possibility of violence.”

  Oh boy. “That’s already happened, though. The dead body behind her car was sudden and violent.”

  “Yes, that could be it. Still, I have bad feelings about our trying to find Rich.”

  “Me, too. Maybe you should tell Penny Sue about her bad aspects. If she knew, she might give up the search.”

  Ruthie frowned. “I’ve considered it. But, I firmly believe that people create their own reality. So, if she expects something bad to happen, it probably will. I’m afraid telling her would be a jinx. Besides, it’s such a long shot that we’d stumble on Rich again, it may be better to forge ahead. For all we know, the police may have him already.”

  Ted might know. I snatched my cell and punched in his number. Miraculously, he answered.

  “Hi, you caught me on break. I listened to your message a minute ago. I’m relieved you decided to take my advice. That’s one less thing I have to worry about.”

  Hm-m, Ted worried about me. My attitude about our relationship had warmed considerably, did his comment mean that he felt the same way?

  “That’s the best thing you could do until we find out who has the grudge against Penny Sue’s car. Did the police take a statement?”

  “Yeah, they dug out the slug and took pictures. That’s about it. We aren’t high on the list of priorities.”

  “Don’t take it personally—they’re as overworked as I am. Luckily, no major disasters so far. A few fights, some wrecks, the usual.”

  “Right now we’re sitting by Frannie May’s pool. The weather is perfect. We were wondering if you’d heard anything about the murder? Ruthie’s been watching the paper. Nothing’s shown up.”

  “Haven’t heard a word, but things are crazy. Everyone’s busy
directing traffic and taking stolen bike reports, so there’s no time for water cooler gossip.”

  “We suspected as much. We’re curious, that’s all.” Now I felt foolish. There was an awkward silence. “Take care of yourself, Ted. Watch out for all those sexy biker babes.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t have time to notice. I’ll be in touch as soon as things calm down. Say hello to everyone for me. And, tell Penny Sue to keep the .38 in her suitcase.”

  Penny Sue never listened to us, I doubted his opinion would carry any more weight.

  “Pauline’s out of town,” Penny Sue groused as she skipped down the steps from the kitchen. Chris says Pauline leaves town every year during Bike Week. She hates the noise. We could try going to Cassadaga, but Chris says getting a reading this week is a long shot. Apparently, that’s a favorite spot for bikers.” She plopped down on her chaise. “We could have our own séance.” She looked at Ruthie expectantly.

  Ruthie held up her hand. “Hey, I’m intuitive, but I don’t do readings and I certainly don’t do séances.”

  “I was fooling about the séance part. We could do a group meditation and consult The Book of Answers, couldn’t we? I wonder if Fran has any incense to set the mood.”

  “I think Fran is more the potpourri type,” I said.

  Penny Sue pouted.

  “And, we’re not burning any more of that darned sage! If you absolutely must have something, I’ll take you to Chris’ Place. But, no sage and no smudge sticks. Scented candles are as far as I’ll go.” I looked to Ruthie.

  “Sandalwood is good for meditation and spirituality.”

  “Didn’t you tell me it was good for sex, too?” Penny Sue said devilishly. “I have a case of it at home. A shame I didn’t think to bring some along.”

  “I’m surprised that wasn’t the first thing in your suitcase,” I muttered.

  She missed the sarcasm. “With all my new biker duds, I was short on space. As it was, I had to pack some of my stuff in a box. I need another of those big Hartmanns. One isn’t enough any more.”