Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World- Vol. 3

by Tappei Nagatsuki

  —Subaru was not arrogant enough to think that was a problem he was capable of fixing. In the end, Subaru was just a mouthy young man lacking the length or depth of life experience to handle the job. A lecture from someone like him wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

  He put no pressure on himself. He imagined no gravitas in his words. It was simply something in him that refused to compromise: the idea that, in the end, you didn’t get the answer from someone else—you had to just roll up your sleeves and do it yourself.

  So Subaru was simply conveying to Rem his exceptionally simple feelings about the matter.

  “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be dead and dog food right now. I’m safe and sound because you were there. I’m alive now thanks to you. That’s your doing, not your sister’s.”

  “…Truly, Sister could have done it better.”

  Subaru poured cold water on her weak rebuttal as he brought his left hand over his right, which still held Rem’s hand.

  “Maybe she could have…but you were the one there for me.”

  When Rem gasped and lifted her face, Subaru put enough gratitude into his voice to make himself blush.

  “I’m glad you were there for me, Rem. Thank you.”

  “—!”

  A choked sob escaped Rem’s throat at his words. After that, Rem turned her face aside so that Subaru would not see the look on it.

  “I…I have always been a substitute for Sister…”

  “Stop defining yourself with lonely words like that, all right? You and Ram are different genres. I mean, she’s the older sister and you’re the younger sister—sometimes you’re gonna clash.”

  There would always be differences between the two. Each had their unique good points.

  Whether Rem understood what he was saying or not, Subaru’s encouragement made Rem squeeze her eyes shut.

  “Well, I haven’t really asked why she lost her horn, and since I didn’t ask I don’t know. I don’t know, so I don’t want to talk like I do know, so…”

  Subaru put his left hand on the upper part of his own forehead—patting it right where Rem’s horn grew out of hers.

  “Ram doesn’t have her horn, and you have yours, so you can just do whatever she would need a horn for. You can just be two demons getting along great. There’s nothing stronger than love between beautiful sisters, right?”

  “…Ah…”

  “So I mean, you said you were a substitute, but Ram has no substitute for you, does she? I mean, if you weren’t there for her, can you imagine the state she’d be in?”

  Rem, aghast, didn’t know this, but Subaru had seen such a future. He had seen Ram, despairing at the death of her younger sister, go mad and use all her remaining strength for the sake of vengeance.

  “…But…”

  Yet even so, Rem did not simply nod in agreement.

  “I get it. So, how about we do this? You have an idealized Ram inside you that you can never compare to no matter what you do. Let’s take that ideal Ram you have on a pedestal and send her packing.”

  “That is…easier said than done. I have always compared myself to—”

  “That’s why I want you to listen to how I rate her. My rating’s based on reality, not the ideal. Just so you know…I don’t have any talent for reading the mood at all, so I just call ’em like I see ’em, no flattery or mercy. What you see is what you get.”

  Subaru smiled at Rem, grinning as he stroked her blue hair. It tickled her, but she merely narrowed her eyes, drawing a small sigh out of Subaru.

  “Where I come from, they say, ‘Talking about the future makes a demon laugh,’ so…”

  Rem said nothing and merely tilted her head a bit as Subaru continued caressing her head and speaking.

  “Laugh, Rem. Don’t make a glum face. Laugh. Let’s laugh and talk about the future. Let’s make up for all that living in the past you’ve been doing and talk about what’s to come. I mean, even if we start with tomorrow.”

  “…Tomorrow?”

  “Yes, tomorrow. Anything’s good, all right? Like, whether it’ll be Japanese or Western food for breakfast tomorrow, or even if you’re going to put on your right shoe or your left shoe first. It doesn’t matter how trivial, there’ll be a tomorrow, so we can talk about it. How about it?”

  Subaru spread his arms, prodding Rem for an answer.

  Rem hesitated to reply for a while before lowering her brows with a conflicted look.

  “I am…very weak…so I will most likely lean on you a great deal.”

  “What’s wrong with that? I’m weak, too. I’m not very smart, I’m not good-looking, and I can’t read the mood, which gets me down even when I’m the one saying it, but I still get by because the people around me help me. We just have to lean on one another and move forward.”

  She had been unable to see a path for her to walk because she insisted on putting anything and everything onto her own shoulders. The least Subaru could do was offer his two empty hands and make the walk forward that much easier.

  Even so, he’d just been extra baggage himself more than once…but if you couldn’t see ahead by yourself, you just needed someone to share the burden with as you moved forward. That’s how he felt, anyway.

  “So let’s laugh, hug each other, and talk about tomorrow. I’ve always dreamed of laughing with a demon and talking about the future, anyway.”

  “…You truly are possessed by a demon.”

  “You bet.”

  Subaru closed one eye with the corner of his lips curled up. Rem apparently couldn’t resist making a small smile herself.

  She laughed, and as she laughed, tears poured out of the corners of her eyes. The seemingly endless tears poured out, flowing and flowing, but Rem continued to laugh even so.

  Rem laughed, Rem cried, Rem buried her face in a pillow to suppress her laughing, sobbing voice. Even so, her mirthful, tearful voice quietly filled the room.

  Subaru gently caressed Rem’s hair the whole while, his right hand grasping hers.

  Softly, softly, he stroked her hair.

  3

  He thought back to the days he had repeated over and over in his first week at Roswaal Manor.

  Subaru had a place at the mansion with a good relationship with Ram and Rem. The children of the village had been saved, and the demon beasts in the forest had been wiped out, eliminating that danger. It was a grand adventure spanning some twenty-odd days.

  Yes, it should have been cause for celebration. And if not for the girl using a finger to toy with her silver hair, in a sullen mood as she laid into Subaru, it would have been.

  “—It’s not that I’m upset. No, I’m not upset. All that happened was the patient I’d been nursing was gone when I woke up, and when I was going to go looking for him, I found out I’d been tied to the chair and left behind. No, I’m not upset about that at all.”

  A flood of cold sweat poured down Subaru’s brow as he silently listened to Emilia’s rant.

  It had already been some ten minutes since Emilia had come to the room, but most of that time had been chewed up by a mix of lecturing and venting.

  Her initial visit was out of concern for Subaru’s condition. When she was certain he was fine, she had sighed with relief and switched gears to leveling her complaints on the spot. That was Emilia’s personality for you.

  “I’m…not upset…so…”

  “Yes, Emilia-tan, you’re right to be upset with me. I’m very sorry.”

  “Sheesh, I said I wasn’t upset. But since you apparently feel guilty I have no choice… I will accept your apology, Subaru. Really, don’t make me worry like that.”

  After Subaru gave in to her pressure, Emilia accepted the apology and punctuated her last sentence with a broad, charming smile.

  It wasn’t even remotely fair. How could she say things like that and make that kind of face at the same time?

  After he’d made up with Rem, the maid had left, and Emilia had taken her place. The moment she’d arrived, he’d largely
expected how the rest would go, but now that her lecture was finished, the way there was nothing in her purple eyes but concern for Subaru made it really hard for him to calm down.

  “I have to say, Subaru, you sure get hurt a lot. And the reason you got hurt was that you came to the mansion, too… I mean, it’s only been four days.”

  “Hey, it’s not like I want all these injuries. I guess you could say the world kind of has it out for me…so, if I can at least have Emilia-tan fawning over me, it’s all good!”

  “I fawned over you plenty and you just ran off. You can fend for yourself next time.”

  “Nuaaa! I let my chance slip away! Damn it, if only Beako had done a bit of a better job!”

  Subaru shouted in anger at the coldhearted girl, having not seen a single trace of her curly hair since his recovery. Emilia pouted as Subaru’s words made her remember how he’d left her behind.

  “I told you, when I woke up after falling asleep in the chair I was tied up in it. I was flabbergasted.”

  “No one uses flabbergasted anymore…”

  “Don’t make light of it… Puck tried to keep me from going after both of you, too. I don’t know what would have happened if Roswaal hadn’t come back. Understand?”

  Faced with Emilia’s tight-lipped anger, Subaru could only feel ashamed of himself.

  Just as he had imagined, Puck attempted to keep Emilia from putting herself in danger. Apparently Beatrice had abandoned any thought of convincing her early on and had moved straight to physical restraints. Having both of them impeding Emilia must have been pretty hard on her mental state.

  Subaru knew that was exactly how he’d feel if it’d been him left behind like that. Even so, if he’d had to do it all over again, no doubt he’d have left Emilia behind once more.

  “You’ve saved me again, though.”

  “Eh?”

  “I said, you’ve saved me again, even though the whole point of bringing you to the mansion was to thank you for saving me before. Thank you very much.”

  Emilia put her hands together for emphasis as her face broke into a radiant smile.

  Subaru, bearing the full effect of it, finally felt something go plunk in his chest.

  “Err, that’s fine, really! I just did it because I wanted to, and it’s not like this has nothing to do with me, either. Yeah, that’s right. I…did it.”

  As he said it, it really sank in. That was what had fallen inside his chest. Having repeated events over some twenty days, Subaru had finally made it to the end.

  After having his heart broken and crushed so many times, his hand had finally reached that which he had long sought. He was finally able to register that feeling of I did it!

  “That’s what you say, but that won’t put my conscience at ease. I’m sure Ram, Rem, and Roswaal are all grateful to you, too.”

  “That so…? All right, let me take advantage and have my contract with Rozchi amended so that Ram and Rem are my personal maids for a while, muah-ha-ha. And then!”

  Subaru put his hand over his mouth as he made a lewd laugh. He then swayed his body left and right as he drew closer to Emilia, thrusting a finger toward her, making her recoil ever so slightly.

  “Am I going to get an Emilia-tan reward, too?”

  “Goodness, if I can afford it. If it is within my power, then… Wait, last time, you asked me for my name.”

  “Heh-heh. Do not underestimate my greed. This time I am a man unaffected by anything so weak. I am aroused by greed and avarice and a vortex of libido!”

  Though he never even got up from the bed, Subaru posed, furiously spreading his arms up at an angle.

  Perhaps seeing Subaru worked up to that degree made Emilia believe the subject couldn’t be avoided. She sat down, properly facing him.

  As Emilia awaited the inevitable, Subaru browsed the “Emilia Reward List” in his brain. He carefully went over options ranging from the bittersweet to nighttime adventures, selecting one.

  And so…

  “All right, Emilia-tan, let’s go out on a date.”

  …he would redo the promise he’d made with Emilia so many days before.

  “‘Date’…?”

  “It means we head out together, see the same things, eat the same food, share the same memories together.”

  “…You’re fine with that?”

  “I’m fine with that.”

  How many hardships had Subaru gone through to go on his long-desired date with Emilia? Along the way, various other intentions had piled up with it as he leaped over one hurdle after another, but he’d finally cleared the last obstacle and reached his wish.

  Hence, the promise was a fitting way to tie all the loops together.

  “I want to brag about you to the brats in the village, Emilia-tan. Plus, the flower bed’s just awesome. To me, it’d be special just to have a casual stroll there together.”

  “I think your definition of greed is a bit different than for most people.”

  “Don’t say that. My shamelessness will freeze that cute smile on your face yet. Oh yeah!”

  Subaru’s teeth glinted as he did a thumbs-up and a wink.

  “Yes, all right already, I’ll go on a ‘date’ with you.”

  The promise having been made, Subaru clapped his hands together and exulted.

  “Yessss! And that’s why E M F (Emilia-tan’s Majorly a Fairy)!!”

  Subaru, seeing Emilia sigh at his enthusiasm out of the corner of his eye, directed his hopes for a speedy physical recovery outside the window, toward the village where they would have their promised date.

  Visions of a glittering future danced when Subaru abruptly thought of the demon beast forest.

  The curses that inhabited his body had lost all their effectiveness. The demon beasts had been eradicated—the end of a long chain of events beginning with a single one slipping past the broken barrier.

  This time, matters had ended with one species wiping out the other. The events left a bitter aftertaste that he didn’t fully understand.

  He remembered how he was in a daze as he thrust his sword into the demon beast’s body. The memory was fresh, and the sensation of taking a life lingered on his hands.

  He wondered if he would forget that sensation someday. Surely the passage of time would make the ache in his chest subside. But until that day came, what could he do…?

  “Subaru.”

  “Yeah?”

  He looked back when she called his name.

  He wondered what Emilia would think of the meaning behind Subaru’s distant, absentminded gaze.

  Emilia rose to her feet and opened the curtains. Light flooded into the room all at once. Emilia’s silver hair was enveloped by vivid, dancing light that left him spellbound.

  Finally, as Subaru sat in silence, Emilia smiled at him out of the blue.

  “When we go on the ‘date,’ let’s bring back a flower bouquet.”

  “—Sure.”

  Subaru covered his face with his palms. There was no winning against that smile.

  He thought, before the day came when he forgot, he ought to carve it into his chest so that he could not.

  He knew it was hypocritical and would only force the pain on to him, but he felt it was the right thing to do.

  He felt like Emilia’s pretty smile was telling him so. So he did.

  Emilia and Subaru continued to spend time together with smiles on their faces.

  —Having finally and truly reached it, the morning of the fifth day continued to gently shine down upon them.

  INTERLUDE

  A PRIVATE CHAT UNDER THE MOON

  About half a day had passed since Subaru and Emilia had promised to go on a date together.

  The man’s gentle voice contained a masculine eloquence that was the product of years of experience.

  “First, I must thank you for your service during my aaabsence. The situation was salvaged thanks to your efforts.”

  His tone was casual, but its firm, unwavering resonance made R
am’s shoulders tremble.

  “I do not deserve such praise. Besides, in the end it was settled by your own hands, Master Roswaal—”

  “I mind not. Incinerating harmful beasts in the forest is no great expenditure of tiiime.”

  Roswaal waved a hand, speaking as if it was a trivial matter.

  Ram was well aware that his claim was not false modesty, hyperbole, or an empty boast. She could not say a word to refute him.

  They were speaking to each other in Roswaal’s study on the uppermost floor of the mansion. As always, their nocturnal chats involved only the two of them.

  “Leaving past events aside, let us speak of something more construuuctive. For instance, what shall become of young Subaru from here ooon, I wonder?”

  “…His body is most certainly largely healed. Lady Beatrice made many complaints, but she fully exerted herself to heal him, so…”

  “I wonder what illness has befaaallen her. I have known her for quite some time, and the boy is the first time I have seen her become so involved. Surely she could not have…? Ah, surely not…”

  Roswaal closed his blue eye as he discarded the implication of his own words. Ram pretended not to hear the quiet portion at the end, not wishing to disturb her master’s thought process as she said, “Either way, if not for Lady Beatrice, I doubt we could have saved Subaru.”

  “Perhaps we should call that young Subaru’s good fooortune. Indeed, there are few more accomplished healers than Beatrice. I am embarrassed to say that I specialize only in the infliction of harm.”

  Roswaal shook his head and tilted it to the side a little. The corners of his lips formed a thin smile. It was a transparent, mild expression, the sort that would perfectly conceal his pleasure or displeasure from anyone but himself.

  “Howeeever, I am guessing, from your stating this as the preface, that his condition is not so rooosy?”

  “Yes. Barusu has had his gate forced back to life after running dry twice in a short period of time. On top of that, he has been healed from life-threatening injuries, so…I wonder how well his gate can function after being forced open and abused like this.”