Disappearances
Page 26
The ship became buoyant; all the pieces miraculously slammed together. It burst out of the water and went full steam ahead with every light on and all the music playing as the stars danced and sang a chorus of their own.
He wanted to grab her and crush her in his arms. What he did, his voice shaking now, was say, “Thank you, Anna. I’ll get my horse.”
In the barn his knees shook so badly he could barely walk. His hands trembled so severely he couldn’t get the bit in Reno’s mouth. Neil Hershberger swaggered over and offered assistance, but Tim told him he could get it, he had a new horse, not used to the bit.
“That’s your excuse,” Neil snickered.
“Yeah, well, looks like I have it under control,” Tim answered, as the bit slipped between Reno’s teeth.
Looks like I do, he thought happily to himself, his teeth chattering.
Anna helped him hitch up, lifting the shafts so he could back his horse between them. They fastened the harness to the buggy, the britchment to the snaps attached to the shafts, the long, heavy straps fastened to the collar, which they slipped on to the short metal bars at the end of the shafts. Anna hopped lightly into the buggy, when Reuben called.
“Hey, what’s up, Anna?”
She put her head out of the side of the buggy, saying Tim was taking her home.
Reuben came running up to Tim, slapped him hard across the back, crowing, “So that’s what was wrong with you today!”
Tim climbed into the buggy and Reno was off with a flying leap, leaving Reuben grinning in the dark.
The trip to Anna’s house was a dream, the kind where you never want to wake up, but just stay in that pleasant state forever. He couldn’t remember what she said or what he said. He came down to earth after they were settled on the porch swing, slowly rocking, the chain creaking in time to the constant movement. His knees had stopped shaking, his teeth no longer chattered. This was, after all, his Anna. The girl he had spent hours with. How could be have gotten so crazy?
It was the leap from an ordinary, everyday friendship to a serious relationship, in which you had to let the girl know your intentions were completely purposeful, pursuing her in the way that suggested you may want to have her for your wife someday. That was a big hurdle.
But she was so light. So fragile. He really needed to know how she felt about her bulimia.
“Are you doing better, the way you said?” he asked.
She nodded.
“I am.” She said it firmly.
“You’re still thin. How much do you weigh?”
“I won’t say.”
“Come on, Anna.”
“No.”
“I’ll carry you in and set you on the scales.”
“You don’t know where they are.”
“The bathroom?”
She hesitated.
He jumped up, turned, found her hands, tugged.
“Okay. But, Tim, this is huge. I haven’t weighed myself since you got mad. At least a few months ago.”
He still held her hands. He loved holding those thin, delicate hands.
“Quiet,” Anna warned.
They tiptoed across the kitchen. He noticed the orange glow of a kerosene lamp.
Good.
They both entered the bathroom. She picked up the scales, the large black letters behind the domed plastic lid, the elongated metal covered with black treads.
“Tee-yum?”
“What?”
They were whispering now, aware of the sleeping parents in the adjacent room.
“This takes a lot of courage for me.”
“It’s okay.”
“You won’t tell anyone?”
“Only if it’s below 100 pounds. Then I will.”
She stepped up, then put a hand on his arm, lifting her eyes to his.
“I can’t.”
She had never been more beautiful. The light of the kerosene lamp obliterated any shadows, casting her perfect face in a soft yellow light, her eyes luminous, pleading with him to help her.
How could he let her know his feelings for her? His emotions crashing and banging, the cymbals of love clashed their high sounds in his heart. He only wanted to convey his love. Slowly he lifted her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the tips of her fingers, then released her hand.
Her eyes were so large. What was the light in them? Did she actually feel the way he did?
Slowly his arms went to hers, his fingers encasing her elbows. Slowly he moved his hands to her shoulders, brought her small form against his chest, then searched her eyes.
“Anna?”
It was a question. A permission? In answer, her arms came up, stopped. He bent his head, his lips found hers, lightly. A feather touch.
“Tee-yum?”
He was strangling with feelings and couldn’t answer.
“Let’s not. I have to talk to you about … ”
“It’s alright, Anna. Sure.”
She sighed and looked down at the scales.
“Up you go,” Tim whispered.
She stepped up, brought her hands to her face, covered her eyes. Tim bent, stared at the number.
“One-oh-eight!” he hissed.
A sharp intake of breath, followed by Anna bending over to see for herself.
“I … gained a lot of weight,” she said, incredulous now. “My lowest was 93 pounds.”
“It makes me happy, Anna, and relieved. You’re doing an awesome job.”
“Am I?”
Firmly, he led her back to the porch swing and told her many things. She told him many things.
Reuben came home and sat on the porch rocker, his grin wide, his eyes glistening in the starlight. He told Anna he knew Tim was going to take her home, as strange as he had been acting. When he finally went to bed, they were both relieved, resuming their conversation.
She told him about Neil. He told her of his “lost” years. She told him about going out with Neil, the times she had let him kiss her, the convictions she had now.
“Tim, I need something better. I don’t want to be hurt again. At first, being touched, being close to Neil made me feel loved, wanted, and for a girl like me, I depend so much on that physical touch. But I do want something better, I just have to have enough courage to think someone … you … you like me.”
Tim grinned. “Well, Anna, it looks like I’m the luckiest guy in the world. The rest of my life, I want to let you know how much I love you.”
Anna gasped. “Tee-yum! Those are strong words!”
“And we’re not even dating, are we?” he said, laughing. “I plan on starting next weekend, if this girl will say yes.”
Anna laughed with him, then very soft and low said, “Yes.”
So they spent the evening on the same wooden porch swing where Mark and Sadie had sat. The same stars and moon hung low in the night sky over the same low buildings nestled on the side of the hill overlooking the Aspendale Valley.
Dat and Mam lay in the same bed, feigning sleep, wondering who was spending the evening with Anna, but in traditional Amish fashion, would not venture out to ask. This was all in secret. Parents were people to be ashamed of, respected, and definitely kept in the background until a couple had been dating for awhile, at least.
Leah’s and Rebekah’s weddings were scheduled in a few weeks, and now Anna was dating. Mam sighed. Dat thought girls left the house really fast after they finally got started.
Across Atkin’s Ridge, in the house snuggled under the pines, Sadie woke with a start, opened one eye to look at the face of her alarm clock—1:23.
Where was Tim? Leaping out of bed, she hurried across the kitchen, her bare feet sliding across the sleek hardwood floor. The barn was dark. No buggy. Her breath came in dry gasps now. Where was Tim? She woke Mark, grasping his shoulder, shaking him hard.
“Mark! Mark!”
He groaned, turned on his back.
“It’s 1:25. Where is Tim?”
“I dunno.”
Clearly co
ncerned, he threw back the covers, stuck his legs into his denim trousers, buttoning them as he moved across the floor.
“Where could he be?”
“He may have had trouble with his horse. That Reno. He’s a spirited one.”
Sadie put an arm around Mark’s waist, needing comfort. His arm came around hers, his love and concern warm in his touch.
Headlights? They held their breath as the bluish LED lights turned in the drive. They both exhaled, then decided to stay up, see what had happened. The washhouse door opened, shoes were kicked off, and Tim charged through the door.
“Hey!” Mark said, from the darkened living room.
“Whoa! You scared me!” Tim said.
“Why don’t you light the propane lamp?”
Mark and Sadie blinked in the bluish light. Mark pointed to the clock and Tim grinned sheepishly.
“We thought you may have had an accident,” Mark said sternly.
“Nothing like that.”
Tim grinned again, self-consciously this time. Then, as if there were no words to tell them how happy he was, he moved across the floor, gathering them both into a bear hug, one on each arm.
“I have a date with Anna.”
His words were so full of happiness, they were like music. Mark clapped Tim’s shoulder, congratulating him warmly. Sadie hugged him back and said she was glad.
They made hot chocolate, Tim got the shoofly pie, soaking it with the warm sweet liquid, and Sadie asked if Anna hadn’t offered him a snack. He said she hadn’t, and they all laughed when Mark said that was what Sadie used to do, too. No snack.
And then, because there was so much happiness that the house could barely contain it all, they sat in companionable silence as little swirls of contentment permeated the air.
Sadie knew their future held trials, dark valleys, days of despair, but that was God’s way. He supplied the strength and courage to face each dawning day.
In the barn, Paris whooshed her nose in the feedbox, then crumpled to the clean straw, resting, content, the happiness from the house including her.
The End
—
The Glossary
Arma geld—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “money for the poor.”
Bupp-lich—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “childish.”
Chide—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “nice or normal.”
Covering—A fine mesh headpiece worn by Amish females in an effort to follow the Amish interpretation of a New Testament teaching in 1 Corinthians 11.
Cutsing—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “throwing up.”
Dichly—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “head scarf” or “bandanna.” A dichly is a triangle of cotton fabric, usually a men’s handkerchief cut in half and hemmed, worn by Amish women and girls when they do yard work or anything strenuous.
Dat—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word used to address or refer to one’s father.
Driver—When the Amish need to go somewhere too distant to travel by horse and buggy, they may hire someone to drive them in a car or van.
Fer-sarked—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “taken care of.”
Gaul’s gnipp—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “the horse’s knot.”
Goot-manich—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “kind.”
Grosfeelich—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “proud” or “conceited.”
In Gottes Hent—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “in God’s hands.”
Kannsht doo Amish schwetsa?—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect question meaning “Can you speak Dutch?”
Kalte sup—A cold refreshing snack served in very hot weather as an alternative to cookies. Made with fresh fruit, served in a bowl, it contains a liberal amount of sugar, a few slices of heavy homemade bread broken on top, and ice cold milk poured over everything.
Loddveig—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “pear butter.”
Mam—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word used to address or refer to one’s mother.
Maud—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “maid.”
Obrichkeit—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “government.”
Ordnung—The Amish community’s agreed-upon rules for living based on their understanding of the Bible, particularly the New Testament. The ordnung varies from community to community, often reflecting the leaders’ preferences, local traditions, and traditional practices.
Opp-Gott—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “almost a god,” or “idol.”
Patties down—Putting one’s hands on one’s lap before praying, as a sign of respect. Usually includes bowing one’s head and closing one’s eyes. The phrase is spoken to children who are learning the practice of silent prayer.
Phone shanty—Most Old Order Amish do not have telephone landlines in their homes so that incoming calls do not overtake their lives and so that they are not physically connected to the larger world. Many Amish build a small, fully enclosed structure, much like a commercial phone booth, somewhere outside the house where they can make calls and retrieve phone messages.
Rumspringa—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “running around.” It is the time in an Amish person’s life between age 16 and marriage. Includes structured social activities for groups, as well as dating. Usually takes place on the weekend.
Schadenfreude—The feeling of gladness at seeing your enemy suffer a defeat or setback.
Shtrubles—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “messy, fly-away hair.”
Siss kenn fa-shtandt—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect sentence meaning “That’s unbelievable!” or “That’s not right!”
Siss net chide—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect sentence meaning “It’s not right.”
Toste brode, millich und oya—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect phrase meaning “toast, hot milk, and a soft-boiled egg.”
Verboten—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “forbidden.”
Voss iss letts mitt ess?—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect question meaning “what is wrong with her?”
Ya—A Pennsylvania Dutch dialect word meaning “yes.”
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2012 by Good Books, Intercourse, PA 17534
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