Amanda Quick - Mischief.txt

by Mischief (lit)

  heartless jade."

  She was deeply troubled. I was her friend for several years

  before she went to London. I do not deny that certain changes

  came over her after she left Upper Stickleford."

  Changes?"

  I confess I was concerned, especially when she ceased to write.

  But I thought that those changes were caused by her marriage."

  Something in her voice alerted Matthias." You've altered your

  opinion? You no longer believe that Vanneck was responsible for

  Lucy's unhappiness?"

  Vanneck had a great deal to answer for," Imogen assured him.

  But I now believe that Lucy had other problems."

  What the devil are you talking about now?"

  I have been thinking about what I have read in her journal thus

  far. As I told Aunt Horatia, I have come to the conclusion that

  Lucy was ill."

  Matthias was stunned.""

  I believe that her state of mind was not a healthy one. She was

  always plagued by a high-strung temperament. At times she

  suffered from bouts of melancholy. But her moods became far

  more volatile after she married Vanneck. The tone of her journal

  reflects her increasing agitation. And there is no doubt but that

  she became obsessed with Alastair Drake."

  Matthias gazed at her in stark disbelief." Let me be certain that

  I comprehend this fully. You have concluded that Lucy may have

  been mad?"

  Not in the manner that we associate with those poor souls who

  end up in Bedlam. She did not see things that were not there nor

  did she hear strange voices. Her writings in the journal are quite

  lucid. Indeed, when I visited her here in London she was always

  rational. But I see now that something was very wrong. Her

  consuming passion for Mister Drake does not seem ." Imogen hesitated, obviously searching for the right word." Healthy."

  She was committing adultery," Matthias observed derisively.

  Perhaps that worried her. After all, she had not yet given Vanneck

  his heir. He would have been furious if he had learned of her

  indiscretions. The good wives of the ton always provide their lords

  with an heir before they take up a career of illicit liaisons."

  " No, there is more to it than a concern that Vanneck would

  discover the affair. She wanted Alastair Drake with a single-mind

  edness that does not seem natural. She was furious because he did

  not agree to run off with her."

  Matthias got to his feet behind the desk." If I listen to any more

  of this babble, I shall likely go mad myself. Imogen, your aunt

  came to see me today."

  Aunt Horatia paid a call upon you?" Imogen gave him a quizzical look." How odd. I went to see her this morning. She did not

  mention that she intended to speak to you."

  It was no doubt your visit to her that inspired hers to me."

  Matthias's jaw ached from the tension that gripped every muscle

  in his body." After you talked to her she realized at once, although

  you did not, just what I had done when I gave you Lucy's journal."

  I do not understand."

  That much is obvious." Matthias flexed his hands and flattened

  them on top of his desk. He leaned forward slightly and forced

  himself to look straight into Imogen's clear eyes." I made you read

  Lucy's journal because I wanted you to face certain facts about

  your so-called friend. I wanted to force you to see her for what she

  was. God help me, I practically blackmailed you into reading the

  damned book, even though I knew you would be hurt by the truth.

  It was a cruel, callous act on my part."

  Imogen's eyes never wavered." I do not believe that for one

  moment."

  Damnation, it's the truth," Matthias said savagely." Look at me,

  Imogen. See the truth. Surely you must realize that in giving you

  Lucy's journal, I demonstrated just how cold-blooded I am."

  Matthias"

  The day we met you said that I was not the man you had

  believed me to be. You were right." Matthias did not take his eyes

  off her." You did not know then just how right you were."

  A terrible silence fell on the library.

  The chamber was suddenly filled with ghosts. They surrounded

  Matthias, mocking him with their voiceless mouths, scorning him

  with their empty eye sockets. Their soundless laughter rang in his

  ears.

  Why destroy her illusions? They served you well enough, did

  they not? You did not hesitate to warm your ice-cold soul with the

  heat of her sweet passion. You reveled in the false image of yourself

  that you saw in her eyes. Why could you not leave well enough

  alone? Now you have ruined everything.

  Matthias did not need the old specters of his haunted past to

  tell him that he was a fool. But there was no going back. He had

  told Horatia the truth that morning. He could not live a lie. Not

  with Imogen.

  What are you trying to say, my lord?" Imogen asked carefully.

  Do not be obtuse. I am called Cold-blooded Colchester for a

  reason. I earned that name, Imogen. I am not the kind, noble, high

  minded man you believe me to be. I do not possess delicate sensi

  bilities or refined emotions. I proved it when I forced you to read

  Lucy's journal. A kind, thoughtful husband would not have black

  mailed his wife into learning the truth about a woman she once

  called friend."

  Imogen studied him for an eternity with eyes that seemed to

  burn through his skin. Matthias braced himself for the endless

  night that waited to engulf him.

  And then Imogen smiled. It was the smile of Anizamara herself.

  It glowed with the warmth of the sun.

  It strikes me that you have taken this whole thing much too

  seriously, Colchester," Imogen said." I suppose that is only to be

  expected of someone who possesses such a sensitive temperament."

  Too seriously?" Matthias went swiftly around the desk and

  seized her by her arms." What is the matter with you? What sort of

  mirror does it take to show you what I am?"

  She reached up to touch his cheek with trembling fingers." I

  have already explained that you and I do not always see the truth

  in the same light."

  His hands tightened on her arms." What truth do you see when

  you look at me?"

  I see many truths. The most important of them all is that you

  and I are very much alike in some ways."

  For God's sake, we are opposites, not kindred spirits."

  You once told me that we had passion and Zamar in common,

  if you will recall."

  Desperation and hope swept through him with the force of a

  wild, uncontrolled fire." We share those things, but they do not

  make us soul mates. They do not make us alike."

  Ah, now, that is where you are wrong, my lord." Imogen's eyes

  were brilliant with an unreadable emotion." You are a man who

  prides himself on responding to logic, so let us consider this in a

  logical fashion. We shall consider passion first. It speaks for itself,

  does it not? I have never felt what I feel for you with any other

  man."

  You have never lain with any other man. How can you know

  what y
ou would feel with someone else?" He could barely speak

  the words. The image of Imogen in the arms of another man now

  that she had given herself to him was excruciatingly painful to

  contemplate.

  Hush, my lord." Imogen closed his mouth with her fingertips." I

  do not need to experience the act of love with another to know

  that what you and I share is quite unique. But enough on that

  point. Let us proceed to the subject of our shared interest in

  Zamar."

  You think that our mutual interest in ancient Zamar binds us

  together in some grand, metaphysical manner? Madam, you have

  been reading too much Coleridge and Shelley. There are a

  hundred members of the Zamarian Society who share our inter

  ests. I assure you, I do not consider myself bound to any of them,

  metaphysically or otherwise. I do not give a bloody damn if I

  never see a single one of them again so long as I live."

  Matthias, don't you understand? It is not the study of Zamar

  that joins our spirits on the metaphysical plane. It is the fact that

  we both sought its secrets for the same reason."

  What reason is that?"

  Imogen stood on tiptoe and brushed her mouth against his.

  Why, to escape the loneliness, of course."

  Matthias was bereft of speech. The shattering truth of her

  simple observation hit him with the force of dawn on the lost

  island of Zamar. Everything was suddenly illuminated in a light

  that was so spectacularly clear, it seemed unnatural.

  He had used his quest as a means of holding his ghosts at bay.

  It had not occurred to him that Imogen might have been battling

  her own gray specters.

  Don't you see?" Imogen persisted softly. The search for the

  secrets of ancient Zamar filled up the empty places in our lives. It

  gave us passion and purpose and goals. What would we have done

  without Zamar?"

  Imogen He swallowed heavily.

  I know what Zamar is to you, Matthias, because it is the same

  thing to me. Indeed, I owe you more than I can ever repay because

  you did what I could not do. You discovered that lost island. Your

  researches and writings opened doors that I was in no position to

  open. You will never know what your explorations did for me.

  They brought a grand mystery to Upper Stickleford. I gloried in

  the search for solutions to the enigma of Zamar."

  Matthias finally found his voice." It is not enough."

  She stilled in his grasp." You said that it was enough, my lord.

  You said that it was a better basis for marriage than most couples

  had."

  I meant that it is not enough to explain why you persist in crediting me with a nobility that I do not possess. Surely you did not

  marry me because I found ancient Zamar. What if Rutledge had

  returned after the second journey instead of me? What if he had

  opened the doors for you? Would you have married him?"

  Imogen grimaced." No, of course not. I've told you why I

  married you, Matthias. I love you."

  You said that only because you thought I was in danger of

  getting myself killed in a duel. You were distraught that night.

  Emotional. Fearful. Agitated."

  Nonsense."

  And, God help me, I took advantage of your overwrought

  condition to coerce you into marriage."

  How dare you, sir? You did no such thing. I was in full

  command of my faculties when I agreed to marry you. How many

  times must I explain that I have excellent nerves? I do not become

  overwrought. The fact is, I loved you then and I love you now."

  But, Imogen"

  Her eyes narrowed." You are the most stubborn man I have ever

  met in my life. I cannot believe that I am standing here arguing with

  you about my feelings for you. One would think that we were quar

  reling over some obscure reference in a Zamarian scroll."

  Matthias stared at her." I find your love for me to be far more

  incomprehensible than any mystery of ancient Zamar."

  Some truths one must simply accept because they are self

  evident, my lord. Love is one of those truths. I have given you my

  love. Will you take it or reject it?"

  Matthias looked into her clear blue-green eyes and saw no

  ghosts." I may be stubborn, but I am not stupid. I accept your gift.

  God help me, it is more valuable than anything I discovered in the

  library of lost Zamar. I swear to you that I will cherish and protect

  it."

  She smiled a mysterious smile that held all the secrets of his

  past, present, and future." I would not have given you my love if I

  had not believed that you would take excellent care of it."

  He wasted no more time attempting to comprehend the

  womanly secrets of her smile. He pulled her into his arms and

  crushed her mouth beneath his own.

  Chapter 18

  Imogen heard a rasping, inarticulate groan and realized it had

  come from Matthias's soul. He swept her up into his arms and

  carried her to the dolphin sofa. His eyes met hers as he set her

  down amid the silken pillows. She saw the unmistakable gleam of

  desire mingled with an almost unendurable longing in his gaze.

  She was both astounded and intrigued." Matthias? What are you

  about? Surely you do not intend to . to make love to me here?

  Now?"

  I have often sat in that chair behind my desk and wondered

  how you would look lying naked here on this sofa. It was a form

  of self-inflicted torture."

  Good heavens."

  I have been waiting for an opportunity to make my fantasy a

  reality." Matthias lowered himself down onto the cushions beside

  her and reached for her." I believe today is the day."

  But it is the middle of the afternoon and we are in the library."

  Matthias nibbled her earlobe as he began to unfasten her gown.

  The ancient Zamarians often made love during the day."

  They did?"

  Most assuredly." Matthias loosened the bodice of her gown." I

  have it on the best authority."

  That would be your own authority, would it not? You are the

  foremost expert on the subject of ancient Zamar."

  I am delighted to hear you admit it, I. A. Stone." He bent his

  head to kiss the swell of one breast.

  Sweet anticipation swirled inside Imogen." Lovemaking in the

  afternoon. How very unusual. You did write that the Zamarians

  were an uninhibited lot."

  For want of a better word." He reached down to tug Imogen's

  skirts up to her waist.

  Delightful sensations bloomed inside Imogen. She felt light

  headed, almost giddy. She had given Matthias her love and he had

  vowed to cherish it. Colchester was a man of his word. He was

  also, she told herself, a man who could learn how to love.

  It was up to her to teach him.

  At that moment he found the hot, moist place between her

  thighs with his powerful, elegant hands and all thought of the

  future fled temporarily from Imogen's brain. She surrendered

  to his exotic Zamarian lovemaking techniques with joyous

  abandon. Matthias stroked her until she was breathless. Until

  she shivered in his arms. Until she twisted a
nd turned in his

  embrace.

  She fumbled with his breeches, freeing his rigid staff. He pushed

  himself between her fingers and shuddered with pleasure when

  she caressed him.

  I love you," she whispered.

  Oh, God, Imogen." Matthias rolled on top of her.

  He drove himself into her, crushing her into the pillows. She

  clung to him, glorying in the weight and strength in him. Her

  fingers sank into the muscles of his shoulders. When he found his

  release deep inside her, Imogen heard him whisper her name.

  It was enough for now.

  Lucy's journal ended with unnerving abruptness. An ominous

  sense of foreboding descended on Imogen as she read the last few

  entries.

  My dear, charming Alastair is the most handsome of men,

  but he shares the common weakness of his sex. He talks too

  much in bed and his chatter concerns naught but himself. He

  no doubt assumes that I did not notice his small slip of the

  tongue the other night. Perhaps he thinks that I did not

  comprehend the implications of what he said as he

  succumbed to the ennui that afflicts men in the aftermath of

  spent desire. He may have actually convinced himself that he

  did not say it aloud. But I am no fool. I heard and I under

  stood. Alastair is my true love and I will force him to

  acknowledge that we are meant for each other. We shall go

  to Italy and live the golden, glorious life of lovers who are

  destined to be together.

  I am so consumed with excitement that I can scarcely

  breathe. My hand shakes as I write these words. The Bow

  Street runner I hired to investigate Alastair's small indiscretion has finally returned from the north. The information he

  has provided is more useful than I had dared to hope. My

  naughty Alastair is not at all what he professes to be. I am

  certain that he will do anything to keep the truth from

  Society. Anything. When I tell him the price of my silence, he

  will surely pay it. He may be angry at first, but when we are

  safe in Italy he will come to the realization that we are fated

  to be together for all eternity. He will forgive me eventually

  for what I am obliged to do. It is for his own good.

  A chill went down Imogen's spine as she closed the journal. She

  sat quietly for a long while, gazing unseeingly out the window of

  her bedchamber.

  There was no question about it, she thought. Toward the end,

  Lucy had been living more and more in a strange world of her own