SAFE (Men of the ESRB Book 1)

by Shiloh, Hollis

Delacruz watched us carefully, and I'm sure he knew something was up, but he spoke suddenly, backing us up. "We'll take care of that," he said. "We have our own experts. Come with me, you two."

  He marched from the room above Captain Quill's startled protest, and we followed.

  Delacruz took us to a large white van. Several armed guards hopped in, very no-nonsense looking men with guns and dark glasses.

  "We're going to look after you now," promised Delacruz, speaking to Sky in a clear, gentle voice. "And we won't take your partner away."

  He raised his eyes then and looked at me, and I saw several things pass over his face. "No more lies — not to me." He swallowed visibly. "You'll be working with Skyler from now on, no matter what. He's going to have to be re-licensed — working with you, as the other half of a partnership. And I expect to be told the full story of what happened when you were captive." He looked at Sky again and said fiercely, "You will eat something."

  Sky gave half a sob and leaned against me, closing his eyes. His whole body began to shake, and he couldn't stop.

  Delacruz didn't touch him, didn't look concerned, just moved back up to his seat, balancing easily even as the van was driving. He seemed to have nerves of steel.

  I glared after him and held on to Sky, trying to soothe and comfort him. "It's all right."

  "I — I know," he managed at last. "It — It finally is." He looked up at me, eyes swimming with tears, and managed a watery smile. He hugged me as tight as he could, and I held him close as we went over a bump in the road.

  Whatever happened, I wouldn't leave his side again.

  #

  The agency got us looked at by their own medical experts who were no-nonsense and didn't seem to scare Sky quite as much as I'd expected.

  They patched up his arms without a word, ordered at least two weeks of rest, some mandatory counseling, and a better diet. Apparently his heart rate hadn't slowed down to a normal level yet.

  "No caffeine till we check your heart again," said one expert. "I don't like the sounds of that."

  Sky agreed quickly to everything, like a bullied kid who expects things to be much worse and just doesn't want to be hit. I knew he'd received help in the past from the medical profession, and he'd done all right with the agency before, but now he was really scared about the scratches on his arms and his mini-breakdowns. He couldn't hide truly it from them, so being extra cooperative was his only defense.

  Delacruz and company set us up in a room with an armed guard and ordered us to get room service and a lot of sleep. There was no talk about separating us even for a moment. I stayed in the bathroom with Sky while he showered, although I didn't step in with him and try to either intrude or comfort.

  I'm fairly sure he wept himself hoarse in there, but he seemed more whole afterwards, when we changed places, and I showered and he waited for me.

  He didn't want to leave my side for the next twenty-four hours, and I was more than amenable to that. I suspected the place was bugged, but maybe I was being paranoid.

  I figured we were caught now. He had let something slip about having a higher rating than he'd been registered as, or else they'd found out from someone at the precinct. When I looked at him and phrased it carefully in my thoughts, he narrowed his eyes and nodded.

  He was pretty sure, then, that they knew.

  He'd become a more valuable resource. At least we were in this together, a unit, and I wasn't just an optional extra anymore. I was okay with our lives changing, if I could just keep him safe from now on.

  We ate a lot, slept a lot, and when we were both feeling up to it, we made quiet, discreet love in the big hotel bed. We stayed close, no matter what. He could sleep with me holding him safe. I could sleep, too. That had to be enough for now.

  #

  Two days later, I was sitting at the hotel room table, discussing my new job, benefits, title, and payment with Delacruz. I should've been thrilled, because it was all pretty good news, but I kept trying to steer the conversation elsewhere.

  I wanted to know if they were going to finally catch Gruver and put him away for life.

  We'd already heard about our captors. Most were looking to face fairly hefty sentencing, and not just because they'd kidnapped Sky. They were part of the largest drug-dealing network in the area.

  Our main captor had gotten the bright idea from an associate of his to use Sky. That associate? Our very own desk sergeant Klein. He'd also figured out how to get Sky out of the building without being seen.

  It had been easy. He'd just told Sky to go out the side door to meet me. Men in a van, disguised as cleaners, had driven up and snatched Sky as soon as he sent the signal. It had been well organized and well executed.

  Apparently Klein had been on the man's payroll for months, feeding him juicy tidbits from the department. Here we'd thought he hated Sky for more mundane reasons. Perhaps, like me, he'd had something to hide all along.

  Sky felt guilty about falling into the trap so easily, but he hadn't suspected Klein, hadn't read guilt from the man — just the usual dislike of him. He felt terrible about that. And though I hadn't been back to the precinct, I had no doubt that everybody in the department felt betrayed by Klein, no matter how they felt about me or Sky.

  So everything was more or less solved about Sky's latest captivity. But they still hadn't caught Gruver.

  I kept trying to get more information about that.

  Halfway across the hotel suite, far enough away to give us the semblance of privacy and pretending he wasn't paying any attention to us at all, my jittery boyfriend was sitting on the bed, drinking a can of non-caffeinated soda.

  "We are certainly looking for the perpetrator in question," said Delacruz stiffly. He was annoying, once you got to know him. He just wanted me to sign all the forms, and wouldn't give very many straight answers.

  And I needed straight answers — and gay ones.

  Could we get married? Would we ever be separated? Would they only put us on jobs where we wouldn't have to face any kind of bullshit over being gay?

  Hell, when I came out of the closet, apparently I came out with all guns blazing. I'd already hinted I wanted to marry Sky while we were captive and now that we weren't, I was actually making plans. I hoped I wasn't getting ahead of myself, and when things settled down enough, I would definitely ask him properly.

  But yeah, I wanted to be all out and proud and shit now and not have to work for any homophobic bosses ever again. If I wasn't going to hide anymore, then I didn't want to have to be ashamed or afraid either.

  I would miss some things about my home and this city, and working for the department, but I wouldn't miss that constant tightness around my chest, hoping I could keep a part of myself hidden and safe, and never knowing if I would quite succeed.

  Skyler took another sip of his soda, eyes meeting mine across the room. He looked very aware — and not of the discussion. That little bugger, he was reading my thoughts again, wasn't he? I felt a big grin spreading across my face. Even from across the room?

  You heard that? I thought. I'd been thinking about marrying him, but I'd never gotten the impression he was hearing more than my feelings after our rescue. We'd both been pretty traumatized by that whole thing, and just functioning on any level had been the primary goal, not whether he could power through at full thought-reading empathic strength or not.

  Now he nodded at me shyly, his grin spreading and his eyes gleaming. He looked very sweet, pure, and cute — until he spread his legs to give me a good view of his package in his tight jeans sitting on the bed, waiting for me to finish.

  I cleared my throat and turned back to Delacruz. He looked irritated with my distraction, but didn't seem to realize we'd been communicating around him.

  "The accused will certainly be prosecuted to the full extent of the law when captured," he said in a slightly pompous tones, then added, "You don't need to worry about that now."

  "But I do. It's my job to protect Sky." I gave him a stern look. "T
hat's why I'm here, isn't it? I mean, to help take care of him."

  Skyler got up and walked over behind me, then put a hand gently on my shoulder. He moved so elegantly, even just crossing the room. He had such unconscious grace about him, I didn't know how anyone could do anything but stare at him all the time.

  "We want the job," he said now softly. "Both of us. But you need to keep us in the loop. It's scary to know he's out there. Or if you catch him, I need warning that I'll — I'll have to testify soon, things like that." He swallowed visibly.

  I reached up and put my hand on top of his.

  "We will keep you both updated on the Gruver situation," promised Delacruz, thawing a little at our united front. "Now let's get this paperwork finished so we can go."

  "We … we're going, then?" asked Sky in a soft, disappointed voice. We both looked at him. He gulped and ducked his head. "I thought we'd get to finish the house," he said in a small voice.

  Delacruz hesitated. "You do need a few weeks of rest. You may as well have it here. But you will be retested and reclassified, and there will be no faking the results to get a lower score so you can stay here. You'll go where we assign you — pending appropriate treatment, of course, and always where you will be treated decently. We will look after you — but there's to be no more lies and faking."

  "Good," said Sky. "But we want to get married, too."

  I whipped my gaze around to gape at him. He'd just said it like that, out loud, so confidently? His gaze sparkled at me, eyes gleaming happily. "It's okay," he promised. "I don't mind being the one to say it." He squeezed my shoulder.

  I'd been trying to find the perfect way to ask to be sure it was okay with the agency. He was still the brave one after all.

  And then I didn't care who was watching; I pulled him onto my lap and kissed him thoroughly, leaving him damp-mouthed, affectionate and warm-eyed and a little giggly. His arms around me felt like they belonged there forever.

  Delacruz grumbled something about it being a free country, but I hardly listened. I just kissed Sky again, and a lot.

  "I can see you're not going to concentrate right now," said Delacruz, "but these papers do need to be signed." He huffed as he folded everything away and left us in peace, however briefly.

  I barely noticed.

  #

  The captain stopped by the room before they let us go. I couldn't have been more surprised for any reason.

  I talked to him alone, since Sky was getting his counseling at the time. It took place in a room down the hall, with a man who looked rumpled and rushed, as though he'd been flown in specially from some ways off. He was an expert of some kind, and something about him must have been perfect for this job, because Sky was immediately at ease with him. To me, he just looked like a gentle, bespectacled guy with off-red hair and an awkward beard, but one look at him and Sky immediately relaxed. I'd never seen him like that with anybody. Even with me, it had taken time before he felt really comfortable.

  Anyway, we'd both felt safe for him to be alone with the therapist, talking in another room with a guard outside the door. The ESRB was keeping the security tight in the hotel. They hadn't mentioned how many rooms they'd rented or for how long, but they were keeping things buttoned up tight, and there was a general air of nothing being too much trouble for us. Sky, really — but I was included.

  I was part of the package deal now, and that was going to take some getting used to. Sky was so unassuming and unsure of himself, it was going to take some getting used to for him, too. He was used to being a poorly performing, untrustworthy Four, not somebody they thought might qualify for Two or even higher on better days.

  It was going to be a lot of work. We would need to have each other's backs no matter what.

  And no more criminals could have an opportunity to capture him. He'd become even more valuable than he had been. I didn't like to think about what it had cost them to bring this much manpower into play getting us out.

  I did, however, like to think they might put even a fraction of that amount towards keeping Sky safe. There was only so much I could do alone when he was so valuable and desired by others for his skills. I think it scared the shit out of both of us to realize. If he was really stronger than his current rating, the quality of his enemies would probably go up too. Instead of bumbling gangsters and crazy ex-boyfriends, would he have to deal with international villains? Evil billionaires who wanted an edge up on the competition?

  Did we have any chance on our own? Nope — we needed to be kept safe on all sides, and the ESRB had the resources to help with that.

  Did I want them to maybe think about that really carefully before they assigned us anywhere or put him under pressure with more training and testing? Was that maybe a good reason to hold off on signing on their dotted lines for as long as I could? I'm not admitting anything, mind you — but if they got used to me dragging my feet and insisting on the best for Sky, maybe they'd think about him first instead of last.

  Somebody had to.

  Anyway, when the captain came to talk to me, I wasn't exactly thrilled, but I was surprised.

  They let him in, and he sat down awkwardly opposite me at the little table. The chair creaked under his weight, and we looked at each other uncomfortably, me warily, him with a hint of dislike mixed with humility.

  He drummed his thick fingers on the small table, making a weird echoing noise. "You guys coming back?" he asked abruptly.

  I shook my head. "They want to re-test, send him elsewhere. I'll be going too."

  He grimaced and raked a hand back through his thinning hair. "Damn it. I wanted this to work. I wanted to keep an empath on staff." He looked at me. "I don't suppose you have any pull with them yet?"

  I shrugged. "Doubt it." I was cold to him. I had nothing to say and no desire to put myself out there. He wanted Sky back because he was a powerful tool. I understood. I just wasn't going to help. Sky was first for me, and he wasn't going to be safe at the precinct anymore.

  He sighed. "You know, if you'd told me the truth earlier…"

  I shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I tried to do the best I could. It didn't work, but…" I let my voice trail off. I was done looking back. Something about being captive and fearing for my life, fearing for Sky's … it put everything else into perspective.

  His safety? That was top priority from now on. Hurt feelings meant nothing to me — mine or anyone else's — in comparison.

  He gave me a half-glaring squint and drummed his fingers harder. "If you're worried you'll get shit from the department for being a queer—"

  "No," I interrupted. "I don't care about that." I didn't have to anymore. It felt like I'd been a different person when that was my primary goal in life, not getting outed. Now I was so glad to be free of the closet I was planning to marry another man. It was refreshing not to have to care what anyone thought, not to be afraid all the time.

  He sighed. "Hold a grudge, do you?" He got up. "I'm not saying I handled everything perfectly, but you guys are useful, and we can work on improving his conditions and protection, same as before, only better. Nothing has to change."

  "Everything changed," I told him, looking him in the eye, but not rising. He towered over me, but I didn't care. He wasn't my boss anymore. I hadn't resigned or been fired; I'd been snapped up by the agency. There were a few more papers to sign, wrangling out particulars, but basically, I'd been drafted. I was Sky's own personal assistant or whatever they'd end up calling me. Just another cog that would help things work right.

  Official title: Cog in the Machine. That would be interesting. Better than resident closeted cop, I guess.

  He glared at me, and actually — I swear — bit his lip. It looked so odd on the captain. "If you're worried your career will suffer…" he ground out harshly.

  "It's not about me. It's Sky. Everybody knows now. He's too powerful to work here. He's not going to be safe. I have to go along and protect him wherever he goes. I'm — I'm not trying to get revenge. I'm not being pe
tty. Look, you had to know his growing skills would get out someday. Maybe not like this. You had to know they wouldn't let you keep him forever."

  We stared at each other. The captain was glaring. I didn't back down, though.

  "You need an attitude adjustment," he growled, and turned away to leave the room. "Oh, by the way," he added harshly. "How long do you think they'll let you keep him? An average Joe cop he had a crush on." He snorted disparagingly. "I might not be gay, but even I can see a guy like that could do better than you."

  He left me with those pleasant words to ponder.

  I snorted and scraped my fingers back through my hair, feeling strangely rattled.

  It was true: Sky could do immensely better. I'd never been more than average looking and of medium intelligence. There was nothing particularly brave or good about me. I was just an average guy, as the captain had said. Even sub-average in some ways.

  But that didn't matter. Sky had picked me, and he'd keep me for as long as he wanted.

  I hoped forever. But I would settle for as long as he wanted me.

  #

  "Hunt?" asked Sky, walking back into the room after his counseling session had ended. His face looked open, refreshed, and he walked with a spring in his step, as if he was feeling brave and glad and alive.

  If I hadn't known better, and known he'd never cheat on me, I'd think he'd just gotten laid, or at least been kissed. I was thinking morbid thoughts because of the captain's words, true as they'd been. They'd sent my thoughts in sad, dark directions.

  He stopped halfway across the room, like a deer scenting something, and stared at me, his eyes growing larger. "Oh, no," he said softly. "Nothing like that. Everything's fine. I promise."

  He walked over and wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me trustingly, tenderly.

  I was amused, but I kissed him back, holding him close, savoring how sweet and familiar he tasted. He'd been drinking some more of that awful orange soda he liked; I could taste it.