If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1)

by Preston, Sara

“It’s been a long time.” She looked away from him. “I mean six years long.”

  Julian quieted her with another kiss. His cock pressed into her stomach and he fought for control.

  He trailed kisses up her jaw line, before nipping at her earlobe. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop now.”

  “I-I—” Her whole body shuddered when he pressed his length against her. “I’m scared.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  Julian gulped, blinking rapidly. “Never.” He had never been so touched by mere words before.

  He wrapped his fingers around the black lace of her panties and ripped the garment from her body. He moaned as the head of his dick pressed against her hot center, her wetness captured him. “Last chance, Liza,” he whispered in her ear, lifting her off the ground.

  “Be gentle.” She gripped his shoulders as he slowly lowered her onto him. The feel of her nails grating into his skin only enticed him more. She gasped adjusting to his size.

  He pushed with a little more force.

  She cried out as he buried himself to the hilt.

  Heartless bastard. He pulled out, the realization he’d gone too far, hit him like one of dad’s smacks in the back of the head.

  “No,” she half whispered, half moaned as he lowered her to the ground. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” He raked his hand through his hair. His cock ached with need, but he refused to force her.

  “Don’t stop.” She grabbed his shirt and pulled him toward her.

  “Are you sure?” He was once more at the precipice knowing this time there was no turning back.

  “Yes.” She nodded as she reached out to grab his cock.

  He pushed her back against the wall again, lifting her off the ground. This time there was no hesitancy, he drove in once more and she moaned. She moved with him as best she could. He watched her eyes as she came closer to the edge. Two more strokes, they were both over the edge. “Julian.” Her eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp intake of breath.

  His mouth opened and his eyes drifted closed as he came. The sensations rolling over him and drowning him in pleasure. His legs weak, he lowered her to the floor and sank down beside her.

  “That was—” She paused as her breaths came in gasps.

  “Incredible . . . Mind blowing.”

  “Fantastic.” She dropped her head to his shoulder.

  “Will there be a round two?” He wrapped his arm around her.

  “Definitely.”

  His dick twitched at the thought of it.

  “Maybe we’ll make it to your bedroom next time.”

  “Maybe.”

  *****

  Julian rolled over to find the other half of the bed empty. He sat up, tossed back the covers, and set his feet down on the antique Persian rug. Their second time had been as intense and urgent. They’d barely made it to the bedroom. He yawned and rested his head on his hands. Liza deserved so much more than a damaged man like him. Hell, he couldn’t even go slow and make love, no it was crazy hot sex. He stood, glanced around the room until his gaze fell on her. She sat in a chair in the corner, staring out the window.

  He walked across the room, pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and sat down across from her. “You okay?”

  She nodded, but didn’t say anything. Her fingers rubbed the jade heart of her necklace. She was wearing his shirt.

  “Liza.”

  She continued to stare out the window.

  He blew out a breath and drew her onto his lap. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No.” Liza pressed a kiss to his nose. “We were both there, Julian. It was sex, albeit great sex.”

  “It was a helluva lot more than that, Liza.”

  “Come on Julian, it was sex.”

  “Not to me. What’s going on? I’m the one with bipolar disorder, not you.” He ran his hand down her arm.

  “It was incredible, both times.” Liza met his gaze and shook her head. “Monica’s comments keep running through my head. I did everything I could to entice you this evening.”

  “You certainly pulled that off.”

  Her eyes twinkled and she rested her head on his chest. “I didn’t like it when you told me no yesterday. So that, coupled with our rendezvous and Monica’s comments start to make sense. I mean I wanted it. I went out of my way to get it.”

  “What’s wrong with wanting sex? We all have needs and desires.”

  “Easy for you to say, Mr. Two-Date-Rule.” She lifted her head.

  “This is different. We’re in a relationship and we’re both consenting adults. I don’t see the problem here.”

  “Do I even want to ask you how many women you’ve slept with?”

  “No.”

  Liza held up three fingers. “You’re number three. And I was twenty before I had sex the first time.”

  “Late bloomer?” He winked and peeked down her shirt. “Cause you’re definitely not lacking anything in the tits department now.”

  She playfully smacked his bare chest. “Julian!”

  “I think I prefer you screaming my name in pleasure.” He toyed with the bottom of his shirt. She looked sexy. Her naked bottom pressed against him.

  “Down tiger.” Liza winked and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m not ready yet.”

  “Really?” He traced the collar of his shirt dipping his fingers inside where it v-ed at her cleavage. Leaning in, he nipped at her earlobe. “I figured we’d take it nice and slow this time.”

  “Nice and slow?” She laughed. “Can we go at that speed? We tend to get a little carried away.”

  “Sounds like a challenge, princess.” Julian stood, picking her up with him. “And I have to say, I love challenge.”

  “I think I’m well past the princess stage.” Liza circled his nipple with her finger.

  “I think you’re every bit a princess.” He placed her on her back on the bed, before he slipped between her thighs.

  *****

  March 26th

  The alarm on her phone beeped from across the room. “Shit.” She checked the time. Five AM, she had to head home soon if she wanted to get to work on time. Lord knew how she was going to make it through her visits until eight this evening.

  “Are you going to be able to walk?” Julian winked, running his fingertips down her legs.

  “I doubt it. I’ll look like I’ve spent the weekend on a horse.” Liza sat up and draped her legs over the bed. No matter how weak her legs were she had leave.

  “Just call me Trigger.”

  Liza laughed. “You’re hysterical.”

  “Thank you.” He beamed. “Call in sick. We’ll spend the rest of the day here. I’ll teach you all sorts of new tricks.” He reached for her, but she smacked his hand away.

  “As tempting as it sounds, I need my job.” She stood and had to catch the nightstand to make sure she didn’t fall. Getting dressed was going to be fun.

  “Shower?”

  “I’ll take one at home. If you and I get in the shower, we’ll end up here. If we end up here, I’m going to lose my job.”

  “Come on, Liza, you don’t want to go into today.”

  She scanned the room for her clothes, saw her dress on the floor and remembered the rest of her clothes were in his car. She yanked his shirt off the floor and drew it on. “I need to borrow your shirt so I can go get my clothes.”

  “Wear my shirt – hell, wear it to work, that way you won’t have to leave for a while.” Julian grinned.

  “I will wear your shirt, but I do have to go home. Where are my panties?”

  He chuckled. “In the hallway right inside the door. I may have ripped them off you.”

  “Right.” She picked up her dress and draped it across a chair. “How about some pants?”

  “I’m sure I’ve got something.” Julian hopped out of bed and walked to his closet. He opened the doors.

  Liza followed him inside. “Your closet i
s a little smaller than the bedroom in my apartment?”

  “I haven’t seen the bedroom in your apartment.” He leaned over and kissed her head. “We’ll have to remedy that.”

  Liza giggled. Julian walked over to a shelf and grabbed a pair of black pajama pants. “These work?”

  “Perfect.” She smiled as she tugged them on. The pants were a little long and didn’t fit in the waist. She pulled the drawstring tight and folded them over a couple times to make them work. “Not the most attractive look, but it will work.”

  “Not attractive my ass.” Julian gave her a once over. “You’re in my pants, you’re commando, and it’s taking everything I’ve got not to strip them off of you.”

  “You’re incorrigible.”

  “You’re sexy as hell.” Julian stepped closer to her. “Why don’t you let me drive you home? The last thing you’ll remember is one helluva a kiss.”

  “I doubt my overused muscles are going to let me forget any part of tonight.” She rested her hand on his chest.

  He wrapped his arms around her and his hand caressed her ass as he drug her against him. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “I have to.” She pulled out of his arms. “I can’t lose my job.”

  Julian caught her arm and pulled her back to him. His lips landed on hers and he was right. He left her with a kiss she wasn’t soon going to forget.

  *****

  “Shit.” Liza’s clients glanced over at her. Her hands trembled as she fished her phone out of her purse. “Sorry.” She sent Julian a quick text.

  We didn’t use protection!!

  She had never gone without using protection. Hell, she made sure they had condoms when it came to her relationships — until last night. The sex was incredible and once he had gotten going, protection flew out the window. She sat in the supervised visitation room, her leg bouncing, holding onto her phone as if it were a lifeline. Her phone chimed, she opened it, after seeing it was from Julian.

  Been through two ex-wives. Not even a positive pregnancy test. Don’t think I can have kids.

  Are you sure?

  Thankfully, her clients could be left alone. She stood and headed to the bathroom. After checking the stalls she began to pace the room. Pregnant? What if she got pregnant? Monica would consider it justification for everything she said on Sunday. What was she going to do? She wrung her hands together and rested them under her chin, leaning against the bathroom wall. A mirror in front of her showed her reflection. She stepped over to the sink and splashed water on her face. What would Julian say if she was?

  Another text.

  Doubt you are. We’ll deal with it, if it happens.

  Deal with it? Not the most promising of comments, but nothing was set in stone either. She stood up straight and looked in the mirror. Whatever happened, she was a strong woman. She would survive. And if she had to go through pregnancy alone she would. She pressed her hands against her stomach.

  *****

  Liza was on her way to her last appointment when her phone rang. She smiled seeing Julian’s name pop up on the screen. “Hi.”

  “You coming over tonight?”

  “I hadn’t thought about it.” She fibbed. She hoped he’d call so she didn’t show up uninvited.

  “Pick up your clothes and stop by.”

  “Clothes?” She smiled. It was fun to tease him. “A little presumptuous aren’t you?”

  “Let’s say, I didn’t like you running out on me this morning.”

  “I didn’t run out on you. It’s called being a responsible adult.” He really didn’t like being told no. “I suppose I could. My next day off is Wednesday and I’ll be pretty busy tomorrow.”

  “Well than bring clothes for both nights and Wednesday we’ll do something.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

  “Somehow I can’t see that happening.”

  *****

  March 27th

  Liza placed the dishes in the dishwasher Tuesday night. Her phone rang. Monica. She sighed, but answered anyway.

  “Yes.”

  “Hey, I wanted to apologize for my behavior at brunch the other day. Aside from calling me a bitch, he could be a nice guy.” Monica’s tone lacked the heart of a true apology, but at least there was an apology.

  “He’s a great guy.” Liza smiled. “He’s sweet, charming, and incredibly good looking.”

  “He’s all right. Overbearing and overconfident, but all right.”

  Liza bit her tongue. So much for the apology. “He makes me happy.”

  Julian walked into the kitchen, came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her. “Who’s on the phone?”

  “Monica.” She mouthed to him.

  He frowned and released her. “Come to bed when you’re done?”

  “I’ll be there.” She leaned up to kiss his cheek. She watched as he shoved his hands in his pockets and headed out of the room.

  “Who are you talking to?” Monica’s tone implied annoyance at the interruption.

  Liza hesitated. Should she tell Monica she was at Julian’s? She took a deep breath. “Julian.”

  “What’d you do, sleep with him the night we met him?” Monica let out a heavy sigh. “You see, Liza. This is what I mean. You never wait long enough to get the facts about someone. What happens when you break up? Then you’ll expect us to make things better.”

  Liza gnashed her teeth then continued. “I’m done. You were in one relationship and it was over after six weeks. Six weeks of you trying to control his life. Until he got sick of it and asked you to do change your ways, only you dumped him for being controlling. Where do you get off telling people how to live their lives?”

  “But your friends are the ones who have to deal with the fall out when you get your heart broken? You can’t just like a guy. No, you have to convince yourself you’re in love with him. And it takes you about a day and a half to fall in love with a guy.”

  “Fuck you.” Liza clicked off the phone and dropped it in her pocket. What in the hell was wrong with her?

  Julian sat on the bed when she came in the room and plopped down beside him. “I take it the conversation didn’t go well?”

  “Nope, I fall in love with every man I see and jump into bed with them.” She looked down at her hands. “And not one word of truth.”

  “Did you ever think she was jealous?” Julian ran his hand down her back.

  “Jealous of what?”

  “What did she say?”

  “She always have to deal with the aftermath of me getting my heart broken.”

  “This sound strange to a normal person, but to a bipolar person it makes sense . . . hear me out.” Julian interlocked his fingers with hers and brought her hand to his lips. “You have a friend, lover, even a family member that you care so much about you want to spend as much time as possible with.”

  “Okay.” She wasn’t sure where he was going.

  “Anyway, when that person gets involved with someone else, it cuts down the time you have with them. Hence the jealousy. She’s picking a fight because she knows she’s already lost you. It’s her way of not getting hurt.”

  “If you’re so concerned about a person why would you accuse them of things? I don’t get it? Friends don’t hurt each other. Yeah – we’d spend less time with each other, but quite frankly, with this job I haven’t been able to spend near as much time with her as I used to.”

  “You made my point. Your job is already busy enough, now I’m cutting into their time with you. How often do you see them now?”

  “It’s been cut down quite a bit. We used to hang out all the time. I even lived with them for awhile, but with my work schedule, by the time I get off it’s too late.”

  “Which may have been the reason she started being a bitch in the first place. I don’t know Monica, I don’t claim to, nor do I want to. But it sounds like, she’s using our relationship as an excuse to dump you.”

  “Dump me?” Liza cocked her
head. “We’re not dating?”

  “Maybe she wanted to. If she acts like this every time you start dating someone. Maybe there’s a little more there than you think. Are you sure she doesn’t play for the other team?” He grinned.

  Monica only had one relationship. She didn’t flirt with men, but then she’d never seen her flirt with a woman either. “I don’t know. There were times, because we went to different schools, we weren’t together for months at a time.” Liza scratched her head. “Why can’t she be happy for me?”

  “She doesn’t know how.” Julian shrugged. “Is this the first time you’ve been hurt by a friend?”

  “No.” Liza shook her head. “I’ve been hurt more times than I cared to remember by so-called friends.”

  “Tell me about them.”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Yeah, I do.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I want to hear more. You don’t do it enough.”

  “High school was full of the normal teenage bullshit. A friend in college took something I told her in confidence and used to it get another friend of mine fired. I’ve been lied to, stepped on, and walked over more times than I can count. I try to live by example and treat people how I like to be treated.”

  “But you still make friends anyway.”

  “I have to keep believing. If it hadn’t been your sister and your sister-in-law, I wouldn’t have gone on the shopping trip.”

  “I understand. I have a hell of a time trusting women. I’ve been with too many liars to believe any of them.”

  “Including me?”

  “Present company excluded. I trust you, Liza.”

  “Why?”

  “Because something tells me, if I handed you my heart, you’d destroy your own before you’d hurt mine.”

  Liza put her hand over her heart and a tear came to her eye. She rested her hands against his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips. If she hadn’t already been in love with him, she was now.

  *****

  March 29th

  Julian sat at the lab table and adjusted the microscope. He wrote his observations on the tablet next to him. The phone on his desk rang. He tossed his pen on the table, stood, and headed across the room to answer it.

  “This is Julian.”

  “Hey man, it’s Ethan.”

  Julian dropped down in the chair at his desk. “Did I forgot to send my last report?” He rubbed at his temple and grabbed a joint off the table.