If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1)

by Preston, Sara

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry. My screw up shouldn’t cost you money.”

  “I don’t want your money either,” she said. “We needed a new vehicle and my son can drive the old car.”

  “I can buy the car off you and give it to your son, if it would help any,” he suggested.

  “What’s your problem?” She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes.

  Julian shrugged. “I’ve got the money. I’d rather help someone out who needs it.”

  “You have an interesting philosophy on money for someone of your stature.” Sally nodded and leaned back in her chair.

  “Meet my parents, you’ll understand where I get my ideas from.” He shrugged and looked her in the eyes. “I had every intention of buying the car for Liza, but my father walked in and paid for it first.”

  Sally threaded her hands together on her stomach. “You do know you can’t buy my daughter’s forgiveness, right?”

  “You, too?” He raised his eyebrow.

  She tapped her fingers against her hand. “How much did the necklace you bought her cost? The one from Tiffany’s?”

  “She wouldn’t accept it.”

  “Just answer the question – there is a point to this.” Sally tilted her head to the side and waited.

  Julian crossed his ankles. “Seventeen hundred for the charm and the chain.”

  “Are you out of your mind?” Sally let out a whistle. “Anyway, so let’s say I didn’t like you, and said you’re a crazy psychotic nut ball and my daughter shouldn’t give you the time of day.”

  Julian’s eyes widened at the comment. “I-I—”

  Sally held up her hand. “I don’t think that, it’s an example. That would piss you off and hurt your feelings, right?”

  “To say the least, yeah.” Julian nodded. He raised his eyebrow and rubbed his neck.

  “Then, two weeks later I show up at your door with a check in my hand for one thousand seven hundred dollars. I hand you the check and say, I got this for you and I’m sorry. How do you take that?”

  “As you trying to buy my forgiveness.” Julian shrugged.

  “How is it any different than what you’re trying to do?”

  Julian’s heart sunk as everything clicked in his mind. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. He pursed his lips, realizing she probably saw him buying her the car as another way to get in her pants. “Damn.”

  “Money’s a nice thing to have, but it doesn’t buy everything. Liza’s choice to be in a relationship with you had nothing to do with money.”

  Julian put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. “I screwed up royally, didn’t I?”

  “I’m sure you can make up for it.” Sally gave a half smile and shrugged. “I understand you’re over thirty, but what do your parents think about this whole situation?”

  “Mom’s doing her best to push Liza and me in the right direction. Dad called me an idiot and smacked me in the head.” He should call Dad, he hadn’t spoken to him since the day Liza brought the car back.

  “I think I’m going to like your father.” She snickered.

  “Everyone likes my father. He has no qualms about telling any of us when we’re doing something stupid.” His father was a pain in the ass sometimes, but there was no doubt he loved his kids. “I have nine siblings. He spent half of our teenage years smacking us in the back of the head.”

  “Liza said you came from a pretty big family.” She nodded. “We’re not close to our family. We tend to see our them about twice a year. I have one brother who lives out of state. Then Rick has a sister, but she is farther south. Liza’s always liked the idea of having a big family.”

  “Why?” Julian shook his head. “Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. She’ll be stuck with my big family, even if we don’t work out as a couple. My brother, Jake, hasn’t been around in five years, but his wife and daughter are right there with us every Sunday morning.”

  “You must be trying to get on Liza’s good side. Missing Sunday breakfast to come down here and deal with people not too happy with you.” Sally smiled.

  “I don’t think my parents expect me to be around for awhile. They’re mad at me, too.” Julian blew out a breath. Now that he and Liza were talking again maybe next week they’d make an appearance.

  The door opened.

  Julian and Sally both turned to see Liza stick her head in the door.

  “Are you two done talking?” Liza came inside her hand on her stomach.

  Julian went to her side. “Are you all right?” He helped her into the chair.

  “I’m fine. I haven’t eaten this morning. I’ve found if I try and keep at least a little in my stomach the morning sickness isn’t so bad.”

  “Do you want to eat? Should I get your pills?” Julian knelt beside her, rubbing her back in a circular motion.

  “Julian.” Sally tapped him on the shoulder with something.

  He looked up to see a package of crackers in her hand. Taking the crackers, he handed them to Liza. “I can’t take credit for that one.” He smiled and rested his hand on her knee. “Do you have your pills with you?”

  “They’re in my purse in the car.” She squeezed his hand.

  Julian looked up and met her gaze. “Liza, I want—”

  She pressed her finger to his lips. “We’ll talk about it later.”

  Julian nipped her finger and then winked at her as he stood up. “I’ll get your purse.”

  Liza laughed. “You’re an ass.”

  He shrugged and turned to head outside only to see her dad standing in front of him. “Sorry, sir.” He looked down as he walked past Rick and headed outside the car. How’d he always manage to get himself in trouble?

  He grabbed her purse out of the car and headed inside.

  “They’re in the main section.” Liza opened the package of crackers and ate one.

  Julian stared down at the purse and then up at Liza. He raised his eyebrow and shook his head. “Nope, not happening.” He handed her the purse. “Dad always told us, if we even thought about going into a woman’s purse we were crazy. I may be crazy, but I’m not certifiable.” She dug through her purse until she found her pills and took one.

  Sally glanced at Julian and Liza before looking over at Rick. “I think I’m feeling up for a drive.”

  “Where to?” Rick cocked his head and raised his eyebrow.

  “Bryton.” Sally smiled.

  Julian dropped his head to his chest. “Really?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked at Sally. “I haven’t spoken to my father since Liza dropped off the car.”

  “Sounds like the perfect time to make up.” Sally nodded.

  “What’s going on?” Liza’s gaze darted between her mother and Julian.

  “She wants to meet my parents.” Julian pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed his dad’s number.

  “Finally grew a backbone and decided to call?”

  “Well hello to you, too, Dad.” Julian let out a heavy breath. Every embarrassing thing he ever did crossed his mind. His father would share all of them with Liza and her parents. “I met Liza’s parents today—”

  “Get smacked in the head yet?” Everett interrupted.

  “They want to meet you and Mom. Are you two up for it?” Julian ignored his father’s comment. He wanted to get the conversation over with. Hell, he wanted to get this day over with. He glanced over at Liza and smiled. Yeah, she was worth all of it.

  “Oh good, we can compare notes.” His father laughed.

  “Gee thanks, Dad.” Julian rubbed his neck. His gaze fell to Liza again. Totally worth it.

  “Why do you keep looking at me?” Liza whispered.

  Julian winked at her. “We’re about an hour and half away, how about one thirty?”

  “Sounds good, meet us at the restaurant. We’re done cooking for the day.”

  “See you there.” Julian ended the call and turned to Liza and her family. “I guess we’re going to s
ee my parents.”

  “Good, we’ll go change and be right back.” Sally smiled and patted Liza on the shoulder as she headed to the other room followed by Rick.

  “Feeling any better?” He held his hand out to her. He wanted her in his arms.

  “A little.” She accepted his hand then wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “You know what I’ve missed the most about not being with you?” Julian brushed a hair of her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

  “Watch how you answer that.”

  “Having you in my arms.” He pulled her in as close as he could. “Can we go back to being together?”

  “I figured we’d wait until after lunch.” A sly smile spread across her face.

  Julian pursed his lips.

  Liza stood on her toes, kissed him, and swiped her tongue across his lips.

  Rick cleared his throat behind them.

  Liza broke the kiss and rested her head against his chest.

  “You two ready to go?” Rick struggled to keep the stern look on his face, but Julian could see the smile threatening to break through.

  Sally was grinning from ear to ear.

  “Yep.” Julian pressed a kiss to Liza’s head. “You’re worth every minute of it.”

  Liza rolled her eyes and laughed. “Let’s get out of here.”

  *****

  Julian dipped down in the driver’s seat when they arrived at the restaurant. “How about you go in and have dinner with the parents and I’ll stay in the car?”

  Liza chuckled. “Not on your life.” She winked at him. “I thought I was worth every minute?”

  “Send a couple more of those kisses my way and I may be inclined to agree with you.” He leaned over the console and pulling her to him. He brushed a kiss against her lips.

  A knock sounded on the window. They turned to see his mother standing there.

  “I love my mother, I love my mother, I love my mother.”

  “What are you doing.”

  “She has impeccable timing. Stay there, I’ll come around for you.” He opened the door and stepped out.

  “Really, dear, you need to remember when you’re in public.” Jackie’s mouth was set straight, but the twinkle in her eyes gave her away.

  Julian kissed his mother’s cheek. “No, I need to remember to watch my hands when my pesky parental units are about.”

  Jackie smacked him in the arm. “Glad to see you two are on good terms.”

  “Me, too.” Julian walked around the car, opened Liza’s door, and helped her out of the vehicle. He pressed another kiss to her lips and whispered against them. “I want you.”

  “Not going to happen, Romeo.” Liza patted his shoulder and turned to Jackie. “Hi.”

  “Hello, dear.” Jackie waltzed over to give her a hug. “Come now, Dad and your parents are waiting for us.”

  Liza walk toward the restaurant with his mother.

  It was going to be a long afternoon.

  *****

  Julian and Liza stood outside the restaurant after her parents left.

  He took her in his arms. “You think my embarrassment earned me some time alone with you?”

  “We spent the entire trip up here alone. And then there’s the ride to your place.” Liza traced his jaw with her fingers.

  “My place, huh?” His hand strayed down to her bottom and he hauled her closer.

  “Yep.” Liza moved her fingers down his neck. “And then I go to my place . . . alone.”

  Julian groaned. “You’re killing me here.”

  Liza rested her hand on his chest. “You and I have a ways to go before we jump into bed again.”

  “Oh come on, it’s not like I could get you pregnant again.” The thump in the back of the head was enough to make his head jerked forward. He turned around.

  Everett stood looking less than amused. “Would you like me to take him home so you don’t have to put up with his shit?”

  “I think I have it handled.” Liza smiled at Everett. “Thank you though.”

  Everett glared at Julian. “Show a little more respect to the mother of your child. I raised you better.”

  “I was joking, Dad.” Julian watched as his father stalked away. “I love my father. I love my father—”

  “Back to that again?” Liza laughed. “I like him a lot.”

  “You would.” Julian took her hand. “Come on let’s get out of here before I get smacked in the head again.”

  “I’m ready.” They walked to the car.

  Julian opened the door for her and helped her inside, before heading around to the other side and climbing in next to her.

  “I’m taking you home.” She looked across the console at him.

  “I know. You said we had to have a conversation about feelings first.” Julian nodded.

  Liza opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it closed. She started the car and they headed to his place.

  *****

  A feeling of dread past through Julian as Liza pulled into his driveway. She was going to ask him to say though three little words. Those three little words he said internally all the time. And yet there he was about to let her down again, by not being able to say them. He didn’t want her to leave. He reached over and stroked her arm as she put the car in park. “I won’t see you until Wednesday will I?”

  “Nope.” She turned in her seat to look at him.

  “What if I catch you on your lunch hour? Or maybe a late dinner.” He captured her hand, feeling the need to be close to her.

  “I’ll see what I can do. My lunches have been running short and you know how late I get home.” She rubbed his fingers with her thumb.

  “If you come for a late dinner, you could stay for breakfast.” He leaned forward. He wanted to be closer to her. “Why don’t we go in the house?”

  Liza looked down at their hands. “What are we going to do when the baby’s born?”

  He climbed out of the car, came around, and opened Liza’s door. He grabbed her hand and tugged her into his arms. “What do you mean?

  “Where do we go from here? Is there a future for us?” She shoved against him.

  He took a step back, but didn’t let her go. “Of course there’s a future for us.” He raised his eyebrow. “But what?” Liza jerked his arms off her. “Because I’m in love with you, Julian and I need to know we have a future together.”

  Spit it out, dummy. It’s simple, three little words. “We do have a future together.” God, he was an idiot. Why couldn’t he force those words out of his mouth?

  Liza opened the car door and sat down. “Night.” She shut the door before he could respond.

  “Liza—”

  She started the car and backed down his driveway.

  Julian pushed both hands through his hair and then wove his fingers together behind his neck. “I love you.” The empty drive didn’t reply.

  Chapter Fourteen

  May 1st

  Liza’s phone rang on her way home from work Tuesday evening. Julian. Again. He’d called three times today already. She sent the call to voicemail and made her way home. She took the stairs to her apartment. She needed the exercise more than she worried about being tired. She looked up as she neared her door seeing Julian leaning against the wall.

  Liza blew out a gust of air, frustrated with his behavior. “What are you doing here?”

  He shifted from foot to foot. “I wanted to see you.”

  “Why?” Liza unlocked her apartment.

  “Can we talk?” He followed her inside.

  “If we must. But you need to understand something. Just because you call the shots at your job, doesn’t mean I get to do the same. I just got off work, I’d really like to unwind, and from now on, I’d like you to respect me and wait to be invited over. Is that clear?” She dropped her things on the table and headed for the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry about the other night. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole again.” His arms came around her.

 
“Don’t touch me.” Liza separated his hands and moved away from him. “If you’re not ready to say it, fine, but if you don’t feel it—” She waved her finger in his face. “There is a difference.”

  “I’m not leading you on, Liza.” He reached for her again.

  “Fine.” She headed to her bedroom. She didn’t have to deal with this. “Go home, Julian.”

  “Will you listen to me?” He grasped her arm and hauled her around to face him.

  “There’s nothing left to say.”

  “Yes, there is.” He let go of her arm only to trap her against the wall and press his lips hard against hers.

  The sparks flew through her body. Tears came to her eyes and she smacked her hands against his chest. She was tired of this seesaw of raw emotions. “Damn you.” Her tears flowed down her face and she fisted his shirt in her hands.

  Julian wiped at her tears. “Liza, I love you.” He brushed her hair behind her ears. “I love you more than I will ever be able to express.”

  “Why now? I don’t believe you.”

  “Because I’m more scared of not saying it.”

  “Was it necessary to manhandle me to say it?” She turned her head away from him.

  He released her from the wall. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say it the other day. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it any of the countless other times I’ve wanted to.”

  “Countless other times? How long have you known?” Liza wiped the tears from her eyes. She walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed.

  Julian dropped down next to her and wrapped his arm around her. “Remember at the charity event while you were dancing with Gramps and you saw me sink into the chair?”

  “If you knew.” Liza looked down at her hands. “Then why did you break up with me?”

  He rubbed her back. “I’ve had some pretty awful things happen to me in my lifetime. And with the bipolar, there’s days I can’t get out of bed. I’m moody, I have anger issues, and I don’t like to admit it, but I’m an alcoholic.” He dropped his hands in his lap and let out a deep breath.

  Liza touched his shoulder.

  He met her gaze and brushed his fingertips down her cheek. “You have the most beautiful heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Hell, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I look at you and can’t imagine my life without you, but at the same time all I see is me ruining everything good in you.”