by E. L. Todd
“So, what happened?” she asked. “Did she call Hawke or something?”
Now that I had her inside and away from her date I didn’t know what to do. I always got to these moments then chickened out. “Actually…Francesca is fine.”
“What…?”
“There’s nothing wrong with her. I mean, there is. But it’s nothing new.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared me down.
“Look, I panicked. I knew he was going to kiss you and I freaked out.”
“You freaked out?”
“I didn’t want him to kiss you.” That was the only explanation I could provide. I already saw Cade kiss her once and I wanted to die. I didn’t want to go through that again.
Instead of being moved by that she seemed pissed. “Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry. I should have left you alone—”
“You don’t want me but no one else can have me?” she snapped. “That’s how it is now?”
“No, not at all. And keep your voice down.” I didn’t want my sister to hear this conversation.
“I will not keep my voice down,” she hissed. “What the hell is wrong with you? What happened to being friends? Friends don’t sabotage each other’s dates like that.”
“I know—”
“You’re a jerk, you know that?” She walked around me and threw her purse on the table. “I will kiss as many guys as I want. You have no absolutely no right to interfere with that.”
“I know but—”
“Obviously, we can’t be friends. Maybe it’s best if you just disappeared for a while and let me look after Francesca. I knew you were shallow and I knew you were committed to playing the field, but I had no idea you were this twisted.” She marched down the hall to her bedroom. “Good night, Axel.” She walked in and slammed the door behind her.
I stood in the entryway and felt my own anger rise. I wasn’t shallow. Maybe I was in the past but I’m not anymore. I wasn’t some asshole that controlled her every move and manipulated her. All I knew was something clicked inside me. I didn’t want some guy touching her because she wasn’t his to touch.
She was mine.
I left the house and locked the door behind me. Now all I wanted was to put as much distance between us. Ever since that terrible day all we’d been doing is butting heads nonstop. I was clueless and she was headstrong. We were like gasoline and fire. Together, we exploded.
I got to my car and unlocked it but didn’t get inside. I stood there and leaned my forehead against the roof of the car, thinking about everything that just happened that night. Committing to someone terrified me for a million reasons, but I was already committed to her whether I would admit it or not. I wasn’t seeing anyone and I didn’t even want to see anyone. All I could think about was the one woman I kept hurting.
I listened to the sound of the world, allowing it to clear my head. One street over I could hear a truck passing by. The sound of crickets was in the air, the approach of spring calling their name. Birds stirred in the trees, rustling the leaves. I listened to all of that and felt my heart rate slow. It became so quiet that I could feel my own pulse in my ears.
I turned back to the house and stared at it, noting the dimly lit porch light. It was covered in dust and cobwebs and needed to be changed. Otherwise it wouldn’t omit any light at all.
I’d never been more confused in my life. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew what I didn’t want.
I didn’t want this.
I walked back to the house and got the door unlocked. When I walked inside all the lights were out. Marie must have heard the front door when I left and closed up the house.
I stared down the hallway and noticed her bedroom door was closed. So was Francesca’s. I stared at it for several heartbeats before I approached it with light footsteps. My hand found the knob and I noticed how easily it turned.
I held my breath before I walked inside.
She was lying on her side facing the opposite wall. The sheets were pulled to her shoulder and she lied still, not hearing me come inside.
I shut the door behind me and approached her bed. I stared at her outline in the fabric, noting her slender waist and long legs. All I wanted to do was crawl into that bed with her, to pass the night with her in my arms.
I undressed and kicked my clothes away into a pile. When I was only in my briefs I pulled back the covers and got into bed beside her. I expected her to jolt upright and scream. The intrusion would terrify anyone.
I placed my hand on her shoulder, silently telling her I was there.
She sat up and looked at me, clearly expecting to see Francesca instead. She took me in with her green eyes, taking in everything without giving anything away.
Now that I was here I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t come here for sex. That was the last thing I wanted. All I really wanted, if she would allow it, was to hold her. “Marie, you were wrong about me.”
She turned over and faced me head-on.
“I may not have noticed you all those years ago, but I notice you now—in a different way. When you were in the hospital you didn’t have any make up on. And that’s when I noticed all the small freckles on your face. There are twelve of them. I’ve counted many times.”
She searched my gaze, her hostility slowly fading.
“You have thick eyelashes, the kind that don’t need any mascara. I’ve never counted the strands but I know you have many.” My eyes moved to her lips. “Your upper lip reminds me of a bow. You know, the kind Katniss Everdeen uses. Whenever you’re sad your eyes dilate in this special way…that’s how I can read you sometimes.”
Her lips parted slightly as she listened, her breathing increased.
“When I first saw you, I thought you were the hottest chick I’d ever seen. I wanted to fuck your brains out and never speak of it again. All I wanted was to hit the sheets and add you to my list. I’m not going to lie about that. We both know that night didn’t mean anything—to either one of us.” It was a fling I wouldn’t have thought twice about if I didn’t see her every day. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about that night after it happened. And when you weren’t there the next morning, I actually wished you were. I’d never felt that way before. And that’s when everything changed.
“When you play Monopoly you always have to be the hat. When you have your coffee in the morning you can only use almond creamer. When you shower, you always hum. I can hear it even in the living room. And every time Francesca struggles, your heart breaks. You’re selfless and loyal, one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. For the past two months, I’ve begun to notice every little detail about you, from the way your hair falls after you tuck it behind your ear to the sound of your heartbeat when I’m close enough to hear it.” I hadn’t planned on saying any of this, but now that the words were coming out they kept going. “I think you’re beautiful because that’s painstakingly obvious to anyone with eyes. But, I think your heart is more beautiful than anything else. I see the way you look at me, like I’m someone worth looking at. You understand my perfections as well as my flaws but it doesn’t change your opinion about me. Despite what’s happened in my life you don’t think less of me.”
Her eyes softened further, all of her grudges disappearing.
“You were wrong, Marie. I’m not shallow—anymore.”
Her eyes took in my features, noting the sincerity in my eyes. They lingered on my lips for several heartbeats before they looked at me again.
“I don’t want to be with anyone else, and I don’t want you to be with anyone either. I don’t know what I can offer you or where this will go but…I want to be here.” I didn’t want to sleep alone in my bed tonight, and I didn’t want there to be a night when she slept with someone else besides me.
She slowly lowered herself back to the pillow, her eyes still trained on me.
I took that as an invitation so I lay beside her and hooked my arms around her. The second I held her it felt rig
ht. She was warm and soft just as she used to be, but feeling her skin alleviated all the pain I was carrying. Just touching her made me feel like I was in heaven. I’d wanted to do this for so long and now it was really happening. I pulled her to my chest and locked my arms so she could never escape. Feeling this kind of intimacy…felt so damn good.
Her hand glided up my neck until it cupped the side of my face. Her thumb rested on my bottom lip, feeling the invisible grooves of the skin. She stared at it before she leaned in and lightly pressed her mouth against mine.
I died and came back to life.
It was a closed mouth kiss but it felt incredible. It was better than any kiss I had before, that was including the one I had with her. Something about her drove me wild, made me feel things I didn’t think were possible. My heart swelled to twice its size and burned from the emotion.
She pulled away and rested her face near mine on the pillow. Her hands glided over my body, feeling my definition of warmth.
I loved it when she touched me.
I wanted to kiss her all night, to feel those soft lips over and over. But I steadied myself because just looking at her was enough. We were wrapped around one another in this bed, becoming a single person.
Her fingers dug into my hair, fingering the short strands. Her legs were wrapped around my waist, keeping me anchored to her. “It’s never felt so good to be wrong…”
Love Is In The Air
Axel
I’d never slept so well in my life.
I opened my eyes to Marie, a woman beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. The joy that rushed through me in that moment couldn’t be explained to any sane person. At that moment, I was slightly out of my mind.
Because I was happy.
She looked back at me, her make up running from the night before. Her hair was tangled from all the times I ran my fingers through it. Despite all those things, I’d never seen a more beautiful image.
“Morning.”
Her voice cracked. “Morning.” She arched her back and stretched across the sheets.
“Sleep well?”
“Very.” She ran her hand up my chest.
“I guess I can’t blame you. Sleeping with a sexy beast would make anyone sleep peacefully.”
“A sexy beast, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“And what am I?”
“A sexier beast.” I rubbed my nose against hers and gripped her hip at the same time.
She chuckled then slid from my arms. “I wish I didn’t have school today…”
Fuck, I had work today. I glanced at her clock and realized I still had some time—if I didn’t shower and wore the same clothes as yesterday.
“Can I get a ride?” she asked. “I still have to buy my car.”
Now I’d definitely be late. “Sure.”
We both threw on our clothes then walked into the living area. I fixed my hair as much as possible but it was still messy. Everyone at the office would know I did something last year, but I guess there were worse things.
Francesca walked into the kitchen, wearing the same pajamas she’d been wearing all week.
The last thing I needed was for Francesca to figure out what was going on with Marie and I. It might send her off the deep end or do something worse. “Just waiting for Marie so I can take her to school.” I straightened my tie and tried to act nonchalant.
Francesca opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of orange juice.
Was she onto me? “Just hear to pick up Marie…nothing else. She still hasn’t gotten a new car yet. I’m just trying to be a nice guy. That’s it. Nothing else. Nope.”
Francesca turned around. “Why are you being weird?”
“Weird?” I gave a high maniacal laugh like it was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. “Me? Weird? No.”
Francesca kept eyeing me like I was a freak. “Whatever…” She walked back into her bedroom with the glass in her hand.
I breathed a sigh of relief when she left.
Marie walked in, looking like she just stepped out of the salon. “Ready to go?”
“I think Frankie was onto us but I took care of that. She doesn’t know a thing.”
Marie grabbed her bag and shouldered it. “Why would she be onto us?”
“She’s smart.”
“But she’s not a mind reader.”
“She probably heard us arguing last night.”
“Even then, that’s not conclusive.” She walked out of the house and I followed behind her. “Don’t overthink it, Axel.”
I wasn’t sure how we were going to explain everything to my sister. Would she be freaked out by it? Supportive? Indifferent? We got into the car and I drove her to school, my former joy completely gone. Now I was stressed about Francesca and how to handle it.
Marie eyed me from the passenger seat, knowing something was up. “What is it?”
“Just worried about my sister.”
“And us?”
I nodded.
“There’s nothing to worry about. She’ll get over it.”
“Probably.” I remember what she said to me when she and Hawke got together. My opinion was irrelevant in the matter. “But do you think it’s a good idea for us to be together in front of her?”
“I don’t catch your meaning.”
“Well, she’s depressed about Hawke, right? Would seeing us together just make her more depressed?” I wasn’t the most sensitive guy in the world and I struggled to understand what Francesca meant most of the time, but I thought that might be a problem.
“I didn’t think of that…”
“What do we do?” She was starting to come out of her room a little more, and she was eating more too. It would suck if she retreated and had to start over—because of us.
“I guess we can keep it a secret. Honestly, it won’t be that hard. She’s hardly around, and when she is she’s pretty oblivious to everything around her.”
“True.”
“When the time is right we’ll tell her.”
“Sounds good to me.” I wasn’t sure what Marie and I were, exactly. But I guess she was my girlfriend. I’d never had one before so I couldn’t be sure. Is that how monogamous people referred to each other?
I arrived at the school and parked in the same place I always did. “I’ll be here at the same time.”
“Thanks for driving me around, dashing man.”
I didn’t understand her reference so I just stared at her.
“Remember…I offered to take UBER but you said a free ride with a dashing man was better.”
Then it became clear to me. “Of course. How could I forget?”
She sat still and didn’t get out. Instead, she looked at me.
I rested my arm on the center console and leaned toward her. “You want a kiss goodbye?”
“Why do you think I’m still sitting here?”
I chuckled then leaned closer to her, my eyes on her lips. When I kissed her last night it set all my nerves on fire. It was too much stimulation for one man. I prepared for that same explosion, knowing she would blow my mind like always.
I kissed her softly on the mouth, feeling her lips move past mine. The kiss was gentle with restricted passion, but I immediately wanted to turn it up a notch once I felt her tongue. I wanted to kiss her forever and only stop when the world came to an end.
She pulled away before things could get too heated. “I’ll see you later.”
Why couldn’t later be now? “Alright.”
“Bye.” She gave me a smile before she got out and walked to class. She had the cutest smile I’d ever seen. Her teeth were perfectly straight, and her eyes matched the happiness in that grin.
I missed it the second it was gone.
***
We walked inside the house and set our things down.
“What should we do for dinner?” Marie asked. She wore a teal blouse with gold hoop earrings hanging from her earlobes. She always dressed classy but looked sexy at the
same time.
“How about I take you out?”
“Me?” She leaned against the table as she looked up at me.
“Yeah. You.” I stepped closer to her, wanting to kiss her just like I did in the car. “I want to take you out on a date.”
“That sounds nice.”
“It’ll be romantic as hell.”
“Ooh…I like romantic.”
I came closer to her, my chest almost touching hers. “So, you’ll go out with me?”
“I would…but not tonight.”
“Why not?”
She nodded toward the bedroom. “Frankie.”
I rolled my eyes. “She won’t even notice if we’re gone.”
“Maybe. But one of us is usually here with her.”
I was her brother, not her babysitter. “Then how about a date here? We’ll have some dinner and wine. Then I’ll feel you up on the couch.”
She chuckled because she knew I was joking. “So much for romantic as hell.”
“Have you ever been felt up on the couch?” I asked. “It’s a lot more romantic than you think.”
She chuckled again. “Oh really?”
“Really.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her.
“So, what’s for dinner?”
“Depends.” I walked to the refrigerator and took a peek inside. There wasn’t much to choose from because I hadn’t been shopping in a while. “How does leftover lasagna sound?”
She cringed.
“Frozen corndogs?”
“Those are delicious—but no.”
I searched through the cabinets. “Well…this date is going well.”
She came to my side and pulled out a carton of pasta and a bottle of marinara. “We’ll have spaghetti.”
“Perfect. Like the Lady and the Tramp.”
Marie gave me a funny look.
I realized what I just said. “Hey, I grew up with a sister…”
“That forced you to watch it?” she teased.
“It was on in the background all the time…” I snatched the pasta and sauce away from her. “Now let me get to work.”
“How about I cook?” She snatched it out of my hands. “You’ve been taking care of me every day. Let me do something for you.”