by Lindsay Becs
“Night, dude.”
“Night, Soda Pop.”
15
Poppy
It’s been two weeks since the last time I saw Zander and I miss him. He needed time and space with Blake and to work out how he was going to be a dad. Now, he’s leaving soon for first race of the season, and it makes me wonder if he’ll be truly ready with everything that’s happening. But then I remember we’re talking about Zander Macallan, and he could win the whole season drunk and blindfolded if he wanted to.
I usually come early to watch him, but it felt strange and like I shouldn’t today. Like I’m intruding on his time. He sent me a text this morning telling me that he’d have time to work with me tonight.
Walking toward him, I slow my steps when I see him talking to a girl. A really pretty girl. He’s got Blake on his back, and that part of what I’m seeing fills me with joy. The other half, where Zander’s smiling at the girl in front of him, has a scowl on my face.
“Poppy’s here!” Blake yells with a toothy grin. It’s good to see him look so happy and content compared to the last couple times I’ve seen or talked to him. I smile and wave at him as Zander and the girl turn to see me.
“Hey, little dude,” I say, holding up my fist for Blake to hit. He gives me knuckles back, making an explosion sound as he pulls away. “Nice,” I laugh.
“Poppy, this is Valerie, Blake’s new nanny. She’s going to be traveling with us and helping with this guy while I’m working and during race days,” he tells me as he sets Blake down on the ground. “Val, this is Poppy. We work together, so you’ll see her around a lot.”
We work together? Not friend or the love of my life, but we fucking work together?!
Turning to Val, I lift my chin. “Hey.” I don’t want to talk to this chick. “Are we good?” I ask Zander, turning to look at him. He gives me a questioning look but lets it go.
“Yeah, sure.” He tells Blake to stay with Val while he works with me, then follows me as I walk toward my bike with my helmet in place.
“The fuck, Pops?” he asks when he reaches me.
“What?”
“Don’t pull this girl shit with me. She’s watching my son,” he says, getting right into it.
“So you said. And to be clear, I am a girl. A girl you apparently work with,” I say pointedly before peeling away from him and onto the track.
I don’t know why it pisses me off so much, but it does. For all I know, Val is a great nanny and awesome with Blake. But did he have to pick a nanny who is so young and beautiful? She couldn’t have been an old grandma type?
Now, I’m pissed at myself for feeling jealous as much as I am at Zander for hiring a hot nanny. Cranking it on my bike, I push it faster on a straight before breaking hard for a sharp turn. My back tire slides out, making me go down and slide into the gravel.
Once I stop, I punch the ground. “Dammit!” I yell, mad at myself for not being focused. I haven’t spun-out in a long time, and Aunt Pen—who is a crew chief for Royal King—is going to be mad when I ask her to fix this.
“You done acting out like a little bitch now?” Zander asks as he jogs over to me.
“Fuck you!” I yell at him. Standing up, I brush the dirt and gravel off of me and pick up my bike. I climb on and punch it down to start it, but it stalls. I try again and again but nothing.
“Poppy!” Zander yells my name for me to stop, but I’m too mad to listen. “Poppy!” he yells again.
“What!” I snap.
“Calm your ass down and talk to me.”
Flipping up my visor, I tilt my head back and let out a frustrated breath. He’s standing there with his arms crossed in front of his body, making his muscles flex, and that pisses me off too.
“Why are you so upset about Val?” he asks.
I look at him like he’s lost his mind. Does he really not know why? “She’s fucking hot, dude.”
He looks taken aback by my revelation. “She’s alright,” he says slowly. “What does that have to do with anything?” Guys are so stupid…
“I’m jealous, alright?! You dismissed me to the new girl by your side. You couldn’t find a Nanny McPhee? No, you had to go find fucking Ariana Grande to watch your son. Is she going to be sharing a room with you too?”
He watches me for a minute before he starts to laugh. Really hard. “Oh, fuck. I never thought I’d see you get jealous of anyone. There’s the fizzy explosion of my Soda Pop.”
I throw my glove at him and then give him the finger. He’s still laughing so hard he has to wipe tears from his eyes. “Now, I’m just annoyed by you,” I grumble.
He walks closer to where I’m still sitting perched on my bike even though I’ve removed my gloves and helmet. Smoothing back my hair, he tucks it behind my ears and kisses me on the tip of my nose. “I love that you’re jealous right now.” I roll my eyes, annoyed at both him and myself. “You’re so fucking adorable,” he chuckles.
I give him a shove, but it only makes him laugh more. “I hate you right now,” I tell him with a smile threatening to show.
“No, you don’t. You don’t hate anything about me, just like I hate nothing about you.”
Frustrated all over again because he’s right, I push him harder this time. He stumbles back, but he pulls me with him and I go down too, bike and all. My body falls onto his, and he lets out a groan as he takes the brunt of the impact. Our legs are tangles under my bike, but he manages to get his out, bending at the knees with me lying between them.
Taking in a stuttered breath, I look down at him as our eyes lock. Tucking my hair behind my ear again, he smiles softly at me. Tears burn in my eyes, wanting to shine and fall in all their treacherous glory.
“I don’t want anyone but you,” he tells me, his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing across my bottom lip. My eyes close instantly from his intimate touch that I’ve missed, and my body burns with need, with want, to have him. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I know he has to feel it because I can feel his beating just as hard.
“I just—”
“You don’t have to say it. I know,” he assures me, and I open my eyes to meet his beautifully sad-looking ones again. “But you don’t have anything to worry about with Valerie. Besides, she has a girlfriend,” he adds with a smile, knowing that I’m going to feel like an idiot now.
I drop my head to his chest with a groan, feeling his laughter vibrate through me. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me close to him, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “Will you still travel with me for the season?” he asks, his hot breath fanning across my skin. I nod against his chest, burrowing deep into his arms.
Holding tight to this moment, I inhale deep, keeping everything that is Zander to memory. I want to embed all of it in my heart. The way he smells, the feel of him under me, how his hands feel on my body, and his lips.
Lifting my head, I look at him one last time like this, licking my lips, and my eyes go to his mouth. I close my eyes and press my lips to his, leaving a last soft kiss there. A kiss that is the final seal of the end.
It’s been two months, and race season is underway and in full force now. I don’t know how he’s done it, but Zander has managed to juggle both racing—and winning—with his new role as a dad. He’s so amazing to watch with Blake. It’s obvious to anyone who sees them together that Blake adores his dad just as much too. It’s sweet and reminiscent of growing up on the circuit with my dad.
If that’s not enough, Zander has kept to his word to train me. He keeps telling me that I’m ready, but I still have so many moments of doubt that creep in. He’s been such a great teacher, mentor and trainer. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. He’s the one thing that I have never doubted.
Funny enough, Val and I have become friends in the last couple of months. We even room together on the road. Zander had been paying for her to have her own room, but one of the hotels had filled up before he could add her room on, so she stayed with me. We ended up having such a fun tim
e, we kept it going.
“So, Tova is here,” Val starts, biting her lip nervously.
“Okaaaay…”
“Is it alright for her to stay in our room?” she asks with a hopeful look on her face.
“Are you going to be sexing it up with your girlfriend while I’m in the bed next to you?” I ask through a laugh.
“What? No!” she yells, turning bright red.
“I don’t care.” I lift a shoulder, popping another handful of popcorn in my mouth. “If you do need some alone time, let me know. I’ll make myself scarce.” She’s quiet for a minute, watching me while I watch TV in our room. I turn to look at her then, and her face says it all. “Oh my gosh. You want to do it now, don’t you?”
“Kinda?”
“You owe me big for this,” I tell her, grabbing my bowl of popcorn. I slide my feet into my slippers and wrap my blanket around my shoulders. “Have fun,” I deadpan as I walk out.
I make my way to a room three doors down, knocking on the door quietly. I hear shuffling behind the door and the deadbolt unlock before it’s opened.
“Poppy. Everything alright?” he asks with a lopsided grin.
“Val is putting a sock on the door. Can I hang here for the night?”
He opens the door wider to allow me to enter. Shuffling in, I climb onto one of the beds and continue to eat my popcorn before he even has the door locked again. “What are you watching?” I ask around a mouthful of my nighttime snack.
“I don’t even know. Some movie that came on.” He reaches into my bowl to take some popcorn, but I smack his hand away. “Ouch! I’m giving you safe haven and you aren’t going to share?”
“Nope,” I tell him with a smile, popping another piece in my mouth.
“So rude,” he grumbles as he climbs onto the other bed. “Why didn’t you go to Zander’s room?”
“It’s late. I didn’t want to wake up Blake.”
“You two are done-done then?” he questions, and it pierces me straight in the heart. I give him a look, telling him how I feel about the subject. His hands go up in defense. “It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s just obvious that you are both still crazy for each other even though you both pretend you aren’t.”
“Austin…” I grumble.
“I know, I know. We won’t talk about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named anymore.”
We watch a movie, and I eventually fall asleep. When I wake up the next morning, Austin is gone but left a note that says, “You snore and are not an attractive sleeper. Just FYI.” Crumbling up the note, I toss it into the trash.
Looking at my phone, I see that Val gave me the all-clear. Gathering my stuff, I make my way back to my room to shower and get ready for the day. But when I get there, I realize I forgot to grab my room key when I left last night. I knock, but Val isn’t there. I bang my head on the door and pull out my phone to text her to ask where she is and to let her know I’m locked out.
Val: I’m at a park with Blake. Ask the front desk to let you in.
I groan, not wanting to go to the front desk looking like a bad morning after.
Val: Or Zander always has a spare key to my room
Me: Why the hell does he get a spare key to our room?!
Val: So he can walk in to see you naked in the shower.
Me: STALKER ALERT!!
Val: Like you wouldn’t like it…
Me: Beside the point.
Val: It’s in case Blake leaves something there or whatever
Me: Oh.
Val: So ask him
Me: I’d rather eat barf
Val: You’d rather eat his dick
“Poppy?” I jump and hit my head on the door again.
“Oh, hey,” I say, quickly turning off my phone so Zander doesn’t see what Val just said. “What’s up?” I ask as I rub my sore head.
“You okay?” he asks, looking at me funny.
“I’m locked out,” I tell him with my thumb hitched back pointing to the offensive door.
“Oh, I have a key.” He pulls it out and lets me in.
“Thank you,” I say with a smile, walking inside. But he stands there watching me. “You need something?”
“Are you—” he starts but stops and shakes his head. “Never mind. You good?”
“I stayed in Austin’s room last night so that Val could get lucky because Tova is here,” I blurt out and then roll my eyes at how stupid I am.
“Oh!” He looks surprised. “Why didn’t you come to my room?”
“It was getting late, and I didn’t want to wake up Blake.”
“Gotcha,” he says, rocking back on his heels.
“Dude. There isn’t anything between Austin and me,” I tell him with a smirk.
He smiles back at me, dropping his chin because he knows he was caught in the web of jealousy. “I’ll let you get back to your day.”
“Thanks for unlocking my door for me.”
“Anytime.” I look at him confused. “You know what I mean,” he laughs. “I’ll see you at the track later.” He turns to leave, shaking his head to himself as he goes.
Wow. We just won the most awkward conversation award for the year.
16
Zander
Val asked if she could have a few days to spend with her girlfriend, Tova, who’d flown in to where we were. Since we have a week until the next race, I told her to have a good time. She’s been awesome with Blake and hasn’t asked for anything for herself since we took off in the beginning of the season.
We’re on the jet headed to the next race, and Blake asked if he could sit with Poppy. I didn’t know what to say, but thankfully she was great and didn’t mind. They’ve been giggling with their heads together since we took off as they play with play dough across the aisle from me. For someone who says she doesn’t want kids, she sure is good with them.
“Can I paint my toes too?” I hear Blake ask Poppy as they pack up the play dough.
“If your dad doesn’t mind,” she says, glancing up at me with the question under her words hanging in the air.
“Knock yourself out, kiddo.” I smile at them.
I go back to pretending to read the same magazine I’ve had out for the past hour. I hear them talking about colors and Poppy patiently answering all his questions. When I peek up at them again, I see she has Blake in front of her, leaning over his back to paint his little stinky toes. He’s watching her paint with awe, while she has a small grin on her lips.
She finishes, and he wiggles his toes with a giggle. “Look, Daddy!”
“Tough men wear pink. Good choice, buddy,” I tell him, meeting Poppy’s eyes and mouthing a ‘thank you’ to her. She gives me a small nod and smile. “Am I next?”
“You want to paint your toes?” she asks.
“Hell yeah, I do. Blake can’t be the only dude with awesome toes around here,” I say as I give him knuckles.
“Poppy is really good at painting toes,” Blake tells me like he has years of experience with this, and it makes me chuckle.
“Is that so?” I look back at Poppy, who is holding back her own laughter.
“Yep. You sit here, and she will paint your piggies any color you want.”
I pick him up carefully and move him to the seat I had been in, careful not to disrupt his wet piggies as he instructed. “Are you good?” I ask him, standing in the aisle. He nods and pulls out his tablet and headphones, already lost in his video before I look back at Poppy.
“Can I sit?” I ask with a questioning brow lifted. She motions for me to sit, and when I do, I have to hold back from groaning at the smell of Poppy filling my senses. “Will you paint my piggies pink too?”
“You can paint your own piggies, dude,” she deadpans, not looking at me.
“But he said you’re the best.” I pout.
She lifts her head to look at me, tilting it to the side with an annoyed expression, but all it makes me want to do is kiss her.
Clasping my hands together under my chi
n, I push out my bottom lip. “Please, Poppy?”
She rolls her eyes but still doesn’t say yes or not. Toeing off my shoes and pulling off my socks, I look at her, waiting.
“I am not painting your adult man nasty toes,” she says, trying to stay serious but is laughing by the end. “That’s gross!”
“Trust me when I say his are probably dirtier than mine,” I state, pointing a thumb at my son. “Come on, Pops. You paint mine, and I’ll paint yours,” I say as I wag my brows like we’re talking about something else.
She rolls her eyes with a groan. “Fiiiiiine.”
“I win!” I say and smack a kiss on her cheek real quick. “How do you want to do this?” I ask, trying to put my foot on her lap, but it keeps sliding off.
We try a few things, but nothing seems to work for both of us to be comfortable while doing this toe painting this way. She playfully shoves me, and it makes me fall into the aisle on my butt. “You little…”
“This works!” she says triumphantly and begins painting before I can say anything. “Don’t move or you’ll smudge your pretty pink piggies.” She smiles smugly like she won.
I lay my head back onto Blake’s lap, where he’s sitting behind me. “She’s mean to me,” I tell him.
“When girls are mean to you that means that they like you,” he tells me.
“You know, I think you’re right, buddy. She must like me a lot too, because she is mean to me all the time.”
“I think so too,” he whispers, leaning closer to my face.
Lifting my head, I look back at Poppy and see her biting back a smile, and I know I got her. As if she can feel my eyes on her, she peeks up at me and sticks her tongue out. I bark out a laugh. Oh, she definitely likes me.
“All done,” she says, closing the bottle. Picking up my legs, I take a look at my bright-pink painted toes—something I never thought I’d have.
“Thanks, Soda Pop.” I manage to maneuver around to sit back in the seat next to her. I pat my lap for her feet, and she gets in the same position she did the last time I painted her toes for her. Holding out my hand, she places the same pink polish in my palm. I smile that she wants to match us.