Luck of the Draw (Xanth)

by Piers Anthony

  “The unexpected,” Bryce said.

  “Exactly. It can cost me friends.”

  Bryce also discovered another element of her nature. She was thin but fit, no beauty but not ugly, with dark hair bound back. She wore a shirt and trousers, with solid shoes. An ordinary woman, except for one thing. She had one blue eye and one brown eye.

  “Yes, my direct gaze is the first surprise,” she said, seeing him pause with the discovery. “It is disconcerting, I am told.”

  “Yes. But not bad. My talent is related to my eyes too: my left eye sees ten seconds into the future. That was really disconcerting, the first time.”

  “You do understand,” she said gratefully. “I’m glad I met you.”

  “We’ll be together here only one night. Will you trust me not to look when you are changing clothes?”

  “I am going to be among several males for maybe an extended period of time. I have schooled myself not to be prudish. Look if you want to, but don’t make a scene.”

  “That will do,” he agreed. “Ditto here.”

  “It has been a wearing trip. I believe I will wash up and change now.”

  “Why don’t I take a walk down the hall?”

  “Please, I’d prefer you not to. Someone less understanding might come in.”

  “Point taken. Let me mention something else: in Mundania I was eighty years old. I think of folk your age as like grandchildren.”

  She smiled. “That helps.”

  She went to the lavatory, and Bryce lay on the bed gazing at the ceiling. He did see Anna as like a granddaughter, but his body was now also of that generation and he didn’t trust it not to react. So he wasn’t looking.

  Anna emerged. Now Bryce looked. She had changed into a simple dress and let her hair down. Her body had progressed from thin to slender. She looked three times as feminine as before. “I like you better this way,” he said. “No affront intended. It’s that in my day girls seldom wore pants.”

  “Nor in my day either,” she said. “But for traveling, and the Challenges, and all, pants seemed better.”

  “I agree.”

  “But for traveling with the suitors, which is better?”

  “Pants, I think. Because there may be rough terrain, and a skirt—” He spread his hands. “Could be awkward.”

  “Because at any time a gust of wind could come and blow up my skirt, and they would see my panties and freak out?”

  “Yes. I freaked out myself when a demoness flashed me. It’s involuntary. So it seems better not to risk it.”

  “Thank you. That makes good sense. What about for dinner tonight?”

  “Stay with the dress. That way all the suitors will understand who you are.”

  “I will. I appreciate your advice.”

  Wira appeared at the door. “Dinner is served.”

  “Oh, I didn’t wash up myself,” Bryce said.

  “Let me help you,” Anna said. She fetched a washcloth and efficiently did his face. She definitely had the female touch. “You look fine.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Follow the blue line,” Wira said, and moved on.

  They followed the line, which neither had noticed before. “I’m not sure it was there until she said it was,” Anna murmured.

  “I agree.”

  “You’re very agreeable.”

  She thought he was trying to cater to her? “I will say so if I disagree.”

  They came to what turned out to be a banquet hall. Different colored lines were evidently to guide the others. The four others were already there. Bryce and Anna took the last two seats.

  The Gorgon appeared. “I will introduce you, Suitors. Tomorrow you will travel together, going on your several Quests. Stand as I name you, so that you can recognize each other. Piper the Musician.”

  Bryce’s jaw dropped. Piper was a Suitor?

  Indeed he was. The man stood for a moment, then sat down.

  “Another surprise?” Anna murmured. “You shouldn’t have sat next to me. Too many anomalies.”

  “You have a question?” the Gorgon asked her.

  “She doesn’t; I do,” Bryce said. “I thought Piper had another interest.”

  “I do,” Piper said. “But that’s interim, by mutual agreement. If I win the princess, that will be my future.” He sat down.

  “The Demon Pose,” the Gorgon said. Her veil quirked. “Small d, apart from his formal name. D Pose.”

  The demon stood. “My interest is in taking over the kingdom from within, displacing the present monarch.” He sat down.

  Bryce wasn’t the only one surprised. This was an ugly ambition. What made him think that Princess Harmony would cooperate in deposing her mother?

  “Arsenal,” the Gorgon said. “Combat expert.”

  The man stood. He was stoutly constructed, with muscles to the tips of his fingers. “Don’t get in my way.” He sat down.

  Bryce saw Piper smile faintly. He knew why; the man had no need to fear any ordinary man. Neither did the demon, small d regardless.

  “Lucky.”

  A feckless sandy-haired youth stood. “My talent is to be lucky for a set time.” He sat down.

  Well, luck probably would count for as much as any talent.

  “Anna Molly.”

  Anna stood. “Yes, I am a woman, standing in for my brother, who is the real Suitor. I cause the unexpected to happen, beginning with my presence among you.” She sat. It was plain that she had surprised the others.

  “Bryce Mundane.”

  Bryce stood. “I’m actually an old man, rejuve—uh, youthened, not in this by choice.” He sat.

  “Enjoy your repast, all,” the Gorgon said. Then: “Oh, one more thing: we don’t expect most of you folk to be apt housekeepers, foragers, clothing menders, or whatever, so we have a volunteer to travel with you and perform these chores: Melinda.”

  Mindy appeared, looking dowdy. Bryce realized that this was deliberate, because she had not been that way when she danced with him. That surely made sense, in this company. “Just ignore me,” she said. “I’ll be there when you need me.”

  Again, Bryce was surprised to the point of amazement, once it sank in. Mindy was coming along? She hadn’t said a word!

  Now they fell to eating, with Mindy serving. She was good at it, having evidently rehearsed this role.

  “I don’t think I am responsible for all your surprises,” Anna murmured. “That last surprised even me. It’s a relief not to be the only woman along.”

  “If you are responsible, your magic is powerful indeed.”

  She laughed. “It is mostly mischievous, I think.”

  They finished the meal without much socializing. Bryce was covertly studying the others, trying to judge what kind of competitors they would be, for all that Wira had said they were not competing but helping each other. Wira seemed to be a nice person; she probably thought ill of no one. He was sure the others were assessing things similarly.

  The Gorgon reappeared as the meal concluded. “We have no entertainments scheduled,” she said. “You will all need a good night’s rest, preparing for what may be an arduous excursion commencing tomorrow.”

  There was a general murmur of agreement. In short order Bryce and Anna were back in their room.

  “I’m glad I’m rooming with you and not one of the others,” Anna said. “I don’t quite trust them, while you’re a gentleman.”

  “And you don’t want to be surprised in the night by someone who is unscrupulous.”

  “Exactly. Maybe on the Quest I’ll be able to room with Melinda.”

  It occurred to Bryce that that just might be why Mindy was added to the party. Still, she must have volunteered for it. What was on her mind? She had to know that there were bound to be frustrations and crudities along the way, things a proper girl would not care to be exposed to. Unless she had become so surfeit with puns that this was preferable.

  “I know Mindy,” he said. “She’s a servant girl at Caprice Castle, where
I stayed. She’s a nice enough girl.”

  “That’s another relief.”

  It occurred to Bryce that Anna was another nice girl he would have been satisfied to know better. Maybe when the Quest was done, and he had washed out, and she was free, he would look her up. If by that time he had gotten accustomed to the extreme difference in their ages.

  In the morning they went down for breakfast. Anna wore her jeans, heavy shirt, and sneakers, with her hair bound back again, ready for the day. Bryce was surprised again by the thoroughness of the transformation; clothing really did make a difference.

  “I know,” she said. “I look like a tomboy. That seems best.”

  “Yes it does.”

  The others were starting to loosen up as Mindy served them an excellent meal. “Any hint of the actual nature of this Quest?” Arsenal asked. “All I was told was that we are to search for what the teen princess most needs to help her govern effectively. I think she needs a good man, but that does not seem to be the answer.”

  The others laughed sympathetically. “I think we were all told the same thing,” Lucky said. “I find it no more satisfying than you do.”

  Lucky looked at Anna. “You’re a woman, or you were last night. What’s your take on this?”

  “She’s sixteen,” Anna replied. “When I was that age, I wanted a captive demon to cater to my slightest whim, a cornucopia that would produce endless tasty nonfattening desserts, and to be three times as pretty as I never dreamed of being. I was pretty shallow. If she is similar, there’s no telling what she wants. It could be anything from a bonbon to a pet dragon.”

  “Perhaps the real question,” Bryce said, “is whether we are to look for what the princess might want, or for what she actually needs, which may be something she has no present interest in, like discipline.”

  “Well spoken,” Piper said. “As I understand it, she will choose from among our offerings, of whatever nature, and unless this Quest is unduly extended, she will still be sixteen when she chooses. So I would be inclined to err on the shallow side.”

  “She did not seem shallow when I met her,” Bryce said. “Young, yes, inexperienced, yes, ignorant of the ways of men, yes, but she was learning visibly as we talked. She strikes me as essentially sensible, and she may honestly seek what she deems to be the most useful tool for effective governing.”

  “Well spoken again,” Piper said. “I can see you’re not the dullest tooth in the dragon’s mouth.”

  “I could be wrong,” Bryce said modestly.

  “And you could be right,” Arsenal said.

  “Maybe we need the luck to find something that appeals to both natures,” Lucky said. “Like a lovely gem she can wear, that also gives her the power to read men’s minds.”

  “And who would have the luck to spy that gem?” Arsenal inquired wryly.

  “And which among us would want an innocent girl reading our lusty masculine minds?” Piper asked. “She’d kick the whole lot of us out.”

  Anna laughed. “Maybe my brother is smarter than I thought, having me substitute for him. That protects his mind, which I know is as degraded as any man’s, from premature review.”

  “Except that she’d read your mind, and know the nature of his,” Lucky said.

  “The answer is easy,” Arsenal said. “Don’t bring her such a gem.”

  “But if we find it,” Lucky said, “are we going to leave it behind, knowing it might be what she most wants or needs?”

  Arsenal nodded. “We might have to draw lots to see who has to bring it to her.”

  The dialogue continued. Bryce found it edifying as an indication of the thoughts of the other Suitors. None of them were stupid or close-minded. The Demons seemed to have chosen well.

  The Gorgon appeared. “The Quest will commence in an hour,” she said. “You have the intervening time to relax or make yourselves ready.” She looked at Bryce. “Rachel wants to see you.”

  Arsenal looked at him. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “In a manner,” Bryce agreed.

  “May I come too?” Anna asked. “I’m really curious.”

  “You can all come,” Bryce said.

  They followed the stately Gorgon to a chamber where two grown dogs and three smaller dogs stood. “Rachel!” Bryce exclaimed, getting down to hug her. “Who are your friends?”

  “These are our pups,” she replied.

  “That’s right. It’s been a year for you,” he said, remembering. “You had time to—to have a family.”

  “Yes. Woofer will take them to Caprice Castle. I will return to Mundania now. It is best.”

  It surely was. “I’ll miss you,” he told her.

  “Have a great Quest, Bryce.” She licked his face. Then she faded from view. She was on her way to Mundania.

  Woofer and the pups headed off out of the castle. Bryce knew they would find Caprice, or it would find them. The pups would surely become great pun sniffers.

  Bryce stood and turned back to face the others. No one said a word.

  “Rachel came across from Mundania with me,” Bryce explained. “She helped me get oriented in Xanth. But there’s someone in Mundania who needs her more. She had to go.”

  “We understand,” Anna said, and the others nodded.

  Now it was really time to begin the Quest.

  7

  SUITORS

  They assembled outside the castle. There was Bryce’s trike. “I brought it,” Mindy said. “I thought you might have use for it.”

  “Bless you!” Bryce exclaimed, hugging her. “But the others will need them too.” He looked at Piper. “You have your duplication spell?”

  “Of course.”

  “What is this contraption?” Arsenal demanded, eying it suspiciously.

  “It’s a device to assist rapid travel,” Bryce explained. “I brought it with me from Mundania, and it became magic here. Allow me to demonstrate.” He got on the trike and pedaled. The trike zoomed forward, cruising through the brush, narrowly avoiding a tree. Bryce circled around and came back to the group. “Anyone can use it.”

  “I’m not sure I want to,” Mindy said.

  Bryce looked at her. Unlike Anna, she was wearing a skirt. On the trike, her knees would be almost as high as her head, and her panties would show. “Do you have jeans you can use for this purpose?”

  “Oh, I suppose so,” she said grumpily. She reached down, pushed her skirt together between her legs, and buttoned it. Now she had what amounted to trousers or culottes. She had come prepared after all.

  Piper invoked the duplication spell, and soon there were seven identical trikes.

  They all practiced briefly, following Bryce’s guidance and example. It wasn’t hard, because it was difficult to fall over on the trike, and the magic made brush and rocks no problem.

  Only Arsenal hesitated. “This is your device, Bryce. Why are you sharing, when you could have zoomed off ahead and been first to the station? Do you know something we don’t?”

  “I know nothing,” Bryce said. “Least of all where we’re going. I just feel we’ll all benefit if we share where we can. The trikes will help us all.”

  Arsenal did not seem convinced, but the others were satisfied.

  “So where are we going?” Anna asked.

  “The Good Magician gave me a scroll,” Mindy said. “It will unroll just enough to reveal one site destination at a time. He told me that you will have just one day to find an Object. If you don’t, it will dissipate and be forever lost.” She unrolled it and read: “Base of Mount Rushmost.”

  “That’s way to the south!” Anna protested. “And there are dragons there.”

  “Not so much at the base,” Mindy said. “They use the plateau at the top for their gatherings. They shouldn’t bother us.”

  “We will need the trikes,” Piper said. “Unless we want to camp on the way.”

  “But we have a deadline,” D Pose said.

  “The Good Magician said we would be able to make the schedu
le,” Mindy said. “So you should have whatever time you need.”

  “Let me get this straight,” Lucky said. “We each need to fetch one thing for the princess, and she’ll pick the one she wants. Suppose someone doesn’t get his gift?”

  “Then I think he loses,” Mindy said. “The Magician didn’t tell me that; it just stands to reason.”

  “So we might as well cooperate and share,” Lucky said. “Unless we’ve got a grudge against one of us.”

  “I think that’s the idea,” Mindy agreed. “So Bryce’s sharing his trike makes sense. The sooner you all collect your gifts, the sooner the final decision will be made. I doubt that any of you really want to mess up any other. If you did, and the princess learned of it—”

  “She will,” Bryce said. “She’s got a Tapestry.”

  “And if that one was the very gift she most wanted,” Mindy concluded, “where would you be then?”

  They considered, and nodded. The point had been made.

  “Then let’s go,” Arsenal said, and forged ahead. He was a natural leader, it seemed.

  They triked southward, following one of the enchanted paths. But after a while Arsenal called a halt. “The enchanted paths wind all around. It will take us too long. We need a shortcut.”

  “That could be dangerous,” Piper pointed out. “There are dragons and other menaces we had best avoid if we can.”

  “I can handle a dragon,” Arsenal said.

  “But what about the rest of us?” Piper asked.

  “Anyone who’s afraid of dragons should not be on this Quest.”

  “Now that’s not fair,” Piper said. “Anyone who isn’t cautious about dragons is a fool.”

  “Are you saying I’m a fool?” Arsenal demanded, resting one hand on his sword.

  Bryce stepped in between them, knowing that Arsenal was a fool, because if push came to shove Piper could probably handle both him and a dragon together. But he thought it better for Piper to conceal his nature as long as feasible and for there to be peace in the group as long as possible. “The rest of us may have a different perspective on dragons, lacking your martial expertise,” he said to Arsenal. “We are sure you will protect us if we encounter a dragon, but dispatching it would surely delay us, and none of us wish to be delayed.” He glanced at Piper. “Isn’t that what you meant?”