The Baby Pact

by Riley Rollins

  The road turned into a winding gravel drive and in the distance was a split log cabin, with a stream nearby that shined silver in the moonlight. Ben pulled up and shut off the engine, turning so he could face me properly. “Just remember that none of us can change the past, Emily,” he went on. “We’ve all made mistakes… and some of us have learned from them. I’ve known him for a lot of years and he isn’t the same man he used to be.

  And he’s always found it easier to have more faith in other people… than in himself.”

  31

  Emily

  “Well, thank god. Do you have any idea what time it is, and just how worried I was when I got back and Sutton’s whole house was practically empty?”

  I let Reese vent while I paced the bank of the stream. It was the only spot I’d managed to get a call through and I’d been trying for a while. It was almost two a.m.

  “You were nowhere to be found. Neither was Sutton. And all I could get was voicemail. You can’t imagine what was running through my head… what I was afraid might have happened to you. I saw some things last night I’ll never forget…”

  “I’m fine, Reese. And thank you for worrying.” I took a deep breath, wondering where to even begin. “A woman… an ex-girlfriend of Sutton’s I think… showed up while he was upstairs with someone else. She was angry and making threats.” I exhaled. “But Chase got me out… everything’s fine…”

  “You don’t sound fine,” she said. “Where are you? Is Chase with you?”

  I paused for a second. “I’m at his place, and I’m fine. I won’t be home till morning. Just please, please… smooth things over with Gran about tonight and I’ll explain tomorrow.” The line went dead before I heard her reply. I turned back to the house and saw Ben coming toward me.

  “It’s late… you may as well get some sleep,” he said, slipping a blanket around my shoulders. I was still in my little black uniform and starting to shiver. “Come in and get warm. You can take the master suite if you like, and I’ll sleep downstairs on the sofa.” He smiled gently. “He will be here. I promise.”

  I let him lead me back up to the cabin. He even brought me a steaming mug of tea. And then he climbed back down the stairs and left me alone in Chase’s bedroom. A plaid work shirt was tossed over a worn chair, a pair of scuffed leather boots on the floor. The room was rustic, simple, and held a hint of the scent I knew so well. I undressed and slipped Chase’s shirt over my skin, grateful to sink down and curl up under the soft down comforter. Even his pillow carried the faint scent of woodsmoke. I breathed in deep, glad to be in his bed, even if I was all alone. He’d be here soon, everything would be fine… and we could pick up where we’d left off.

  I ran my hands over my breasts, down my belly and between my legs. I realized I hadn’t had time, until now, to think about what had happened between us. Now there was nothing to do but think. I was tender, inside and out… my pussy lips were still thick and slick from his seed. I shivered, thinking of the risk we had taken. But there was something about waiting for him in his bed that made me ache for even more. The thought of him, all of him, naked against my bare skin was almost more than I could bear. Everything we’d shared so far, even our hot and furious fuck at the party, seemed to be leading to this place. Where we could bare everything to each other, and turn our chemistry into something deeper… more intimate. What better place for that to happen, than in this wonderful wilderness cabin, where everything reminded me of him.

  I felt a warm, sleepy wave of sweet anticipation run through me and rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in his pillow. I had total confidence he would dampen down the scandal, no doubt lecture Sutton about his behavior, and then come to me in the night. For the first time in my life, I would wake up in bed next to the kindest, most wonderful man I’d ever met. He would take me again, and this time it would be slow and sweet and totally uninhibited… just the two of us, alone… for hours…

  I snuggled deeper into his bed, his scent, grateful for the comfort it gave, and drifted off…

  “Emi…”

  I rolled over, unsure if I was awake, or still dreaming. My eyelids fluttered heavily. The room was still dark. Only a thin stream of moonlight shined in from the window. “Emi, honey…”

  “Chase?” I pushed a thick strand of hair off my face and felt his hands, his solid warmth against me. “You’re here…? When did you…?”

  “Only a little while,” he answered softly. I could see him only as an outline against the window. His face was shuttered in shadow. “I sent Ben back to the city. I wanted us to be alone.”

  He stroked my cheek with the pads of his fingers. Unlike before, his touch was slow and lingering. Instead of like wildfire, this felt like a slow, deep burn. I could feel it reaching inside me, heating me from within, stirring the memories of the party and of the cool night air slipping up between my legs along with the velvet warmth of his cock…

  “Is it over?” I asked, pushing up on my side. He climbed into bed beside me and reached out, his leg covering mine and pulling me closer. “What happened last night?”

  “The girl’s name is Pam,” he began. His fingers kept moving against my jaw. Slowly, deliberately… demanding nothing. “She and Sutton were… together, about a month ago. As far as he was concerned, it was finished. But it wasn’t for her. And everything Sutton did after, just made things worse. He used her… and he threw her away.”

  “I overheard a phone call,” I said. “He was telling someone to pay her off. He said every girl has a price… I guess she didn’t like his offer.” I put a hand on his chest and felt our mingled heartbeats. “But she had to know what kind of man he is,” I went on. “It’s not like he tries to hide it…”

  “Only in broad daylight… like the rest of us,” he replied, cryptically. “I talked to her… I did what I had to do, on many different levels. Because it was time… and because I knew Sutton never would.” He paused, and I felt his heart beating faster. “I think the damage is contained, at least for now,” he went on. “But this is bigger than one angry woman, Emi. I’m not even sure where to begin telling you… I only know it’s never been so important for me to explain… to try to make this right…”

  I caught his fingers in mine and pressed my lips to the very tips. I heard his breath catch hard, and smiled in the darkness. “I can see why Pam was angry, what with Sutton throwing that party and doing… well, doing what he was doing with another girl. And I can see how she could start an embarrassing scandal. That party was… well, I’ve never seen anything like it…

  But you must have a dozen lawyers. And with his kind of appetites, I’m sure this isn’t the first time they’ve had to deal with this kind of thing… What I don’t get, is how it has anything to do with me.” I shifted, trying to see his face in the dark. “If you’re worried that this could hurt me, just because I was there… or maybe my business reputation…”

  “This could cause damage you can’t even imagine, Emi,” he said. His voice was quiet, sad. “I did what I could to stop it. There are things I still have to do. If I could spare you, I would. But I owe you the truth.” He paused and took a breath. I could feel his heart pounding now.

  “The price I pay for that truth may be everything I have… everything I ever really wanted, now I’ve finally found it,” he said, brushing his thumb across my lips, his voice thick with regret. “There’s something I have to tell you… and once it’s out, there won’t be any stopping it. You… my sister… Sutton… the business… It’s my fault, but we’ll all pay the price, and it’s been a long time in the making.

  There’s a reckoning coming, Emily. And I’m the one it’s coming for.”

  32

  Chase

  It was too dark to see her. But I could sense her every emotion. Anger, bewilderment… disbelief…

  disgust…

  Before I’d left for the cabin, I’d done what I could to stop the story in its tracks, explaining to the guests that it was all just an argument that
had gotten out of hand. Thank god, no reporters had gotten past security at the party. And Ben had headed straight back to the city to do what he could. Even so, the silence had been broken now, and there was no telling how many other women might come forward with accusations. Calm, collected women… who had every fucking right to be angry…

  But all I cared about was Emily. She’d been silent… all too silent, listening as I poured out the entire story. I’d held nothing back. I’d told her everything about the competition, from the beginning to the end. It was a story of weakness and indulgence. A story of selfishness and deceit. It was also a story of lessons learned, but far too late. I could have made a thousand excuses, but I’d made none. I waited, sharing Emily’s painful silence with her. I realized, as my chest squeezed painfully, that one more awareness that had come to me as well… and all too late. She was wrapped in my shirt and pacing the floor.

  “It was a game,” she whispered finally. “To see if you could… To see who would let you…”

  “It was for the excitement,” I admitted, unwilling to give her less than the truth. “For the challenge, too.” I looked her in the eye and took a deep breath. “I liked the danger,” I added quietly. “The idea that I might get caught… and the challenge of avoiding it.” I wanted to reach out for her hands, but kept still. “I stopped over a year ago. Because it had gotten out of hand. The betting…” I shifted my eyes, unable to meet her gaze any longer. “I knew it was wrong. That all of it was wrong. Long before I left the competition. But I stayed silent anyway, letting the others go on with it. Outside the circle of players, you’re the only one who knows.”

  “Did you do it too… ? Place bets…?” she asked. Her eyes didn’t waver. I could feel them on my skin.

  “A couple of times,” I said truthfully, gritting my teeth with the effort. “It was almost ten years ago, and in the very beginning.” I raked my hands through my hair and left them there, holding my head and feeling the painful throb in my temples. “I couldn’t after that… The others kept it up, but that wasn’t the part that I needed.”

  She nodded and stood up, walking to the window that overlooked the water. Moonlight put her in silhouette. She was still, unnaturally calm. “You just wanted the sex.”

  “I wanted the challenge,” I said, knowing she could never understand. That no matter how I tried to explain it, I could never justify it.

  “You have no reason to trust me, Emily. And I know that. I’m not even asking you to try. But I want you to know that you were never part of this. I didn’t go to Sutton’s party for the game. And I always hated the kind of spectacle he was after.” I heaved a sigh of impatience. “I was only there to make sure you were safe.”

  “Or to make sure I didn’t find out?” she asked, without moving. “I told you I could take care of myself. And I meant it.”

  “Sutton had interest,” I replied fast, coming up behind her. “He wanted me to play… Or to take you for himself. I’m not sure now he even cared which. But he’s been trying to force me back in the game for months.” I took a shaky breath that left my lungs feeling raw. “But I swear, with whatever honor I still have as a man, that I was there for you. Only for you.

  And I’m here for you now. I want you more than ever, Emi. Every time we’ve been together, I couldn’t stop thinking how much I wanted you in private. Where you could be all mine. Only mine.” I reached out and touched her hand, catching it lightly, stopping her from pulling away. “You’re the only woman who’s ever slept in this bed, Emi. With or without me in it. You’re the only one I ever wanted more with…”

  “More? Than a quick fuck, and then on to the next?” The sky was beginning to lighten and I could see her face. She was pale and there were dark smudges under her eyes. She pushed a strand of hair away. It had tangled in her lashes… “I thought you were different,” she said, dully. “I knew Sutton for what he was from the start, but I thought you were so different…

  And I’m just like Pam,” she whispered, more to herself than to me. “I just got paid off with a delivery van instead of cash… Christ, Chase… There was cash too. That extra two thousand…” Her eyes were huge and her breath was coming far too fast. “I thought we were starting something real, that it was me you were responding to. All that time, I thought you were a gentleman…”

  She pulled her hand out of mine and backed away, watching my face in the early morning light. The dawn breeze rustled branches against the windowpanes as I sank down on the edge of the bed, hanging my head. “I’m not, Emi,” I said quietly. “And I never claimed to be. I know I’m no fucking good for you… for anyone. But what I feel for you is real. And what happened between us was very real…”

  “Oh… god… Oh my god…,” she gasped out. “The balcony… the fucking balcony… You knew what you were after, Chase, and you got it. You were there for me, alright,” she said, her beautiful green eyes wide and horrified.

  I stood, reaching for her again, but she held out a single hand. The look on her face stopped me cold.

  “Right there, where anyone could see,” she said, her voice chilling me to the bone. “He won didn’t he? He got you back in the game the only way he could… by getting you to compete for me. Sutton won… and you’re back in the game. He was your opponent…

  and I was just the pawn.”

  33

  Emily

  Chase drove me home in silence. The only thing that had kept me from bursting into tears was that he’d held my hand the whole way.

  “You have no reason to believe me, Emi,” he said, pulling the car up to the front of the bakery. “But I’m not the same man I was a year ago. Fuck, I’m not even the same man I was a few weeks ago.

  I’ve watched my sister go through hell and back with what her husband did to her.” He put his warm hand around the back of my neck, stroking the hollow behind my ear slowly with his thumb. “And I thought it was enough, that I’d taken myself out of the competition.” He shook his head. “But I was wrong… it was nowhere near enough to make things right. You’ve made me see… made me feel things I can’t even put a name to… But for the first time, I know what I have to do. I can see the next step.”

  His dark grey eyes looked into mine, the color of a storm at sea. “There’s no defense for who I’ve been or for what I’ve done, but please… know this…

  You were never a game to me, Emi.

  Not ever.”

  I had climbed the stairs, dragging with every step, to stand under the hot rushing water… The tiny bathroom had filled with steam, but I‘d let it run on anyway. Thank god, Gran had still been sleeping. I didn’t have the strength to face her… or to see the disappointment in her eyes…

  I shut the water off only when it started to turn cold. The old pipes groaned in the walls as I wrapped myself in my old pink bathrobe. It had hung on an iron hook behind the door for nearly ten years. I tied the belt around my waist absently, noticing how the hook had gone rusty… how the smooth porcelain ball at the end had darkened and cracked. For a second, I let myself wonder how it would look, another ten years from now…

  “Oh, you’re up, dear,” Mrs. Williams said, as I made my way down the hall. “Your friend Reese called me awfully late last night, and said she’d bring you by. What a shame, to come down with a touch of flu while you were at work,” she tutted. “But you don’t look too bad. Why don’t you just try to get a little sleep. You’ll feel better in your own bed.” She smiled kindly and I felt tears burn hot behind my eyes. “Jussie’s still sleeping,” she said, patting my back gently. “Don’t you worry. I’ll get her breakfast when she wakes up.” She looked at me closely, and the tears I’d been holding back finally let go.

  “Oh… now… It can’t be as bad as all that,” she said, putting her hand on my elbow. “I’ll bring you some tea, dear.” She smiled at me kindly. “A little sleep and a nice cup of Earl Grey can do wonders for a tummy ache.” She took a tissue out of her sleeve and blotted my cheek. “Or a heartache,” she sai
d softly, understanding in her eyes. “All of us were young once, you know, believe it or not. And though she’s far too stubborn to admit it… even Justine.”

  But there was no sleep. Not for me. I’d paced back and forth in the tiny room, feeling restless and contained. A dozen times, I’d picked up my phone, only to put it down again.

  Chase had been right. I had no proof I could believe him. Everything he’d told me could have been nothing more than lies, one last attempt to protect himself from more scandal than he was already facing. He’d seduced me in public. Touched me in public. And last night he’d fucked me… where any of a dozen people could have seen… But I also remembered the way he’d looked at me, with tenderness in his eyes as he’d told me I wasn’t part of his game. I’d felt his pain when he admitted to what he’d done in the past. And I’d heard the sincerity in his voice.

  I was still reeling, still unsure. But honesty demanded that I admit, at least to myself, that I’d liked it… all of it. I’d been excited by that chance of getting caught too, the pure excitement of adrenaline arousing me in a way I’d never experienced before. Chase hadn’t been the only one enjoying the danger. I’d felt it for myself. He’d said he was no good for me, for anyone. But I’d seen the love and devotion he had for his sister. She felt the same for him. And surely she knew him better than anyone…

  I picked up the phone and punched in her number, unsure what I could possibly say, but knowing we had to talk…

  “Emily, I was just about to call…,” Amelia’s voice sounded strained. “Something’s happened, I didn’t know who else to talk to. I think you’re the only person who can help…”