Fallen Angel, Part II

by Tracie Podger

  “But I would have been able to tell you who it was, so I don’t get it.”

  “No, no you wouldn’t have been able to tell me, anything,” he said, his voice catching.

  I understood, Joey had planned to kill me right from the off, he planned for Robert to come home and the ultimate had happened. Joey had got into his house, his sanctuary and destroyed the one thing he knew that was important to Robert.

  “Did Gabby know this?” I asked and he shrugged.

  “I doubt it, doubt even Joey knew what he was going to do until he did it,” he answered

  I thought of Gabby, the friend that had betrayed me, she’d helped Joey. I still didn’t know what had happened to her and I knew I would never find out. As Robert rightly told me, if I knew everything, how would I feel if I was made to lie one day and could I lie so convincingly?

  I turned to him, snuggled on his lap. “You know what I am going to do?”

  “When this heals,” I said, touching the scar that crossed my eyebrow, “I’m not going to cover it up, I’ll look in the mirror but I won’t think of him, of that night. I’ll think only of you, of what you were and of what you are now.”

  “All I want, Brooke, is for you to be safe, to love me and to never be hurt but I failed you. By being with me, you got dragged into something that did the opposite. It still kills me every day when I think about it,” he said.

  “You’re the man you are today because of your past, you have to start accepting that, forgive yourself for what you did. Now I have your signature, something I will be proud to wear. I have your initials, tattooed, which hurt more than the cut, I might add, so can you stop the biting thing. I think I’m marked, branded whatever you want to call it enough.” I smiled at him.

  He looked down at me, his fingers tracing the scar, his black eyes looking into my blue ones.

  “You have no idea how remarkable you are, do you? You’re the total opposite to me, you’re good, pure, kind and loving. I don’t deserve you,” he said.

  “That’s enough self pity. You do deserve me, you have always deserved to have someone love you, it’s just that it’s only happened now. Anyway, I didn’t feel so good, so pure last night,” I said with a grin.

  He laughed out loud. “Yeah well, you know what they say about fallen angels. Their purpose on this earth is to corrupt the women on it, that’s all I’m doing.”

  I slapped him across the chest. “Well, come on my fallen angel, let’s go for a walk, and see if we can redeem you.”

  ****

  We dressed warmly and headed for the woods. Although it was sunny, it was a cold day, the trees were bare, their leaves already fallen to the floor and we kicked our way through, laughing as we gathered them up in handfuls and threw them at each other.

  He held my hand as we walked and I asked him, rather randomly, “Do you believe in God?”

  “No,” he replied.

  “Have you ever?”

  “Perhaps, when I was kid, I didn’t have much choice really. I believed what I was told, that I was the devil and for a little while I accepted the beatings and the preaching because it would get the devil out of me.”

  “Have you ever been back, to Pittsburgh, where you lived?”

  “Once, but I don’t ever intend returning. I guess I own the land the house stood on, I’m the only surviving relative, but no doubt the state has used it for something by now.”

  We made our way back to the house as it was getting colder. Sitting in front of a log fire and music playing in the background I asked him to tell me a little more about Joe.

  “You would have liked him,” he said. “He was a good man. When he came from Italy he started off in Chicago, with his friend, a guy named Carmine Gioletti. They were part of a group of people, members of different families, called themselves The Outfit. He married Carmine’s cousin, Maria. At some point he moved to DC, carried on doing what he knew. People liked him, he was fair, he kept the streets clear of crime, except his own of course, but he was a respected man.”

  “Where is he buried? Would you take me one day? I would like to visit.”

  “Of course. I haven’t been back, not since his funeral, but if you want to, we’ll go.”

  “Why have you never been back?”

  “What’s in the ground is just a carcass, Brooke. It’s not the man. I prefer to think about him as a person and I don’t need to sit by a gravestone to do that.”

  “Do you know what I want to happen when I die? I want to be cremated and I want you to scatter my ashes here, in the woods, it’s such a wonderful place,” I told him.

  “Can we change the subject? I’ll die before you, hopefully, and I don’t want to have that thought in my head all day.”

  “Why do you want to die before me?”

  “Because I couldn’t live without you,” he said gently. “Anyway, think about it, can you imagine me having to take on Sam. I love you, but that’s taking it to the max,” he said laughing.

  “Do you think you could ever be friends with him?” I asked. “For my sake.”

  “For you, I would do anything, even be friends with your drag queen mate.”

  “He’s not actually a drag queen, he doesn’t dress up in girl’s clothes and makeup, well not much makeup anyway.”

  “Enough already,” he laughed. “No, I’m joking, he’s okay, just takes a bit of getting used to, that’s all. Anyway, I don’t want you to say anything, but Jonathan is looking to promote him, put him on our management scheme. For all his bitching, he’s really good at his job.”

  “Oh, Robert, he would be brilliant, he has a good way with people.”

  “Yeah, well, just don’t go saying anything, it’s for Jonathan to tell him. Now, let’s talk about something fun, this Christmas thing you’re planning.”

  “You’ll love it. Neither you or Travis have had a Christmas so please, I want you to leave it to me, let me do this for you both. I have one problem, I was kind of banking on my half of the deposit on the house to be able to spend.”

  “Brooke, I don’t want to have this conversation again, okay. What’s mine is yours. You have your card and tomorrow I’ll have an account opened up for you with my bank, I’ll transfer some money so you have cash. Do me one favour though, I don’t want it spent on your house or that prick. If he has left the property, they’ll keep the deposit, there’s no need for you to forward any more money and if they ask for it, I want to know.”

  “It just doesn’t feel right, taking your money, especially to buy you a gift with.”

  “Make it feel right, we’re not having this conversation again, ever.” He could be quite forceful sometimes.

  We noticed Travis arrive back from his date and I was itching to know how it went. Robert was going to meet him, they were going to the club and hopefully he would get the juicy gossip. I wanted to call Taylor, she had that dress put by for me but I wanted to chat to her about some alterations. The dress was a wonderful, floor length, gold backless one but currently had a halter neck. I was planning to wear it for Sam’s blessing but I wanted to see if the neck could be altered. My hair was going to be pinned up and I didn’t want the neck line to cover my tattoo. On a day I knew Robert would be uncomfortable, I wanted him to see that I showed off that tattoo declaring I was his, a way of comforting him.

  It was lovely to watch the boys go out and as I stood at the doorway I said, “No fighting this time,” reminding them of their last night in a bar.

  I called Taylor at home, Mack answered.

  “Hi, Mack. It’s Brooke. I wondered if Taylor was free for a quick chat.”

  “I’ll go find her, but before I do, how are you? We didn’t get to talk much last night.”

  What I liked about the guys Robert worked with was that they wanted to chat as well, it wasn’t simply a case of handing the phone over to their wives, but to have a conversation with me first.

  “I’m good, I’ve just sent Robert out for a night with Travis. Mind you, last time they
ended up in a bar together they got into a fight,” I laughed.

  “Yeah, took me ages to get the press not to print that story,” he replied. “Anyway, as much as I do want to chat to you, my very impatient wife is snatching for the phone.”

  “Hi honey, how are you?” she asked.

  “Good, thank you. I just told Mack that I’ve sent Robert out with Travis, I have some gossip.”

  “Quick, tell,” she demanded.

  “Travis had a lunch date today, so I’ve sent Robert to get all the details.”

  “Oh, how exciting, as soon as you know anything, let me know.”

  “I wondered if I could arrange to try on that dress, I wanted to check the neck line would be okay.”

  “Of course, why don’t we head on over tomorrow after lunch. If you want it altered in any way, it’s not a problem. I have been thinking though, it might be easier to have one made for you. I spoke with Casey, she’s the designer, she could have it done by the blessing, make it a bit more unique.”

  “That’s a great idea, thanks. I also have a favour to ask. I have a brilliant idea for a present for Robert but I want you to come with me, I need a bit of support.”

  “Sounds interesting, are you going to tell me now?”

  “No, but when I make the appointment, will you come?”

  “Of course, you just let me know, honey, and I’ll make sure I’m available.”

  I could hear a commotion in the background. “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “God, my home is like a mad house today, Petra wants a word. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she handed the phone to her daughter.

  “Hi, Brooke, thought I would just say hello.”

  I liked Petra, I’d met Taylor’s kids a while ago, she had brought them over for a visit whilst I was recuperating.

  “Hey, Petra, how are the studies?” I asked. She was training to be a Vet.

  “Really good, I’m having some struggles with dad at the moment. I have an opportunity to go to Kenya but he’s not happy about it. Believes I’m going to get kidnapped by the locals I think,” she laughed.

  “You are funny, however, I have no doubt you’ll get your own way, you know how he dotes on you.”

  “I know, I would rather he was just pleased for me, don’t suppose you would put in a good word?”

  “Of course, I don’t know how much good it will do, but I’ll try.”

  We said our goodbyes and I settled down for the evening. I made myself a snack and I thought about Petra. Mack didn’t think she would get kidnapped by the locals, it was more about keeping everyone on a tight leash at the moment after what had happened. I felt sorry for her though, her and her brother Jacob. All the children of these guys led a very different life to most. They didn’t have the freedom that other kids had, which was such a shame and it was not just because of the past, it was also because of the wealth their families had.

  Jacob worked at Vassago, he was brilliant with IT, a little shy but a friendly person. Petra was her mother's daughter, long blond hair, blue eyes and although early twenties, she was strong, intelligent and so full of life.

  Patricia and Jonathan had the one son, Marcus, he also worked at Vassago and I think he was being groomed to take over from his father. Jonathan was well into his sixties and at some point would be looking to retire. Like Robert and I, Richard and Susie had no children and Paul and Rosa’s two sons worked on the constructions. These children would one day take over from their father's and I wondered what would happen to Robert’s share, who would take over from him? Who would he leave his legacy to?

  I phoned over to Evelyn, I wanted her involved in my idea for Robert’s Christmas. I wanted him to have thirty seven presents, all small things, one for every year he had missed. She invited me straight over. A cup of tea was ready the minute the door to her apartment was opened.

  “Hi, Brooke. Come on in,” she said.

  “I wanted to chat to you about Christmas and I have a favour to ask.”

  “Go on, sounds interesting,” she said as we sat.

  “Well, I would like to cook for you this year. I know it might not be as good but I thought the four of us could spend the day together and I wanted you to relax and not do all the work.”

  “Well, it would certainly be a first. I’ll be at church first thing but it sounds lovely, what do the boys say?” she asked.

  “They’re moaning about it of course. I told Robert I want the full works, a tree, decorations, presents the lot. Make up for all the years they didn’t celebrate.”

  “It sounds wonderful. I’ve tried for years to get them to at least have a tree, so any help I can give, please ask.”

  “Also, I have an idea for a present. Do you have any photographs of them and Joe? One you would be happy for me to have. There are no photos in the house and I wanted to create a memory wall. A wall of pictures, of people important to him.”

  He raised her hand to her mouth. “That is just the most wonderful idea,” she said.

  “Come on, let’s have a look.”

  Sitting on her bed, we were surrounded by boxes and boxes of photos, it would take the whole evening to go through them but they were amazing. I picked up one after the other, some black and white, dating back years. There were many pictures of her family, some in Italy and some in America.

  “Have you ever wanted to go there, to Italy?” I asked.

  “You know what, Brooke, for many years I’ve wanted to. There never seemed to be the right time though. I would love to visit the old village, I have relatives there.”

  “Do you still speak the language?”

  “Yes, although I only get to practice when I go shopping, the deli or the cafe now that dad has gone. You know Robert is fluent, he just doesn’t use it that often.”

  “No, I didn’t. I would love to speak another language,” I replied.

  We spent a wonderful evening rifling through her photos, I put one aside, one of Joe and Maria. It had been taken in Italy, Joe had taken her to meet his parents and they were standing against a low stone wall, an olive grove in the background. They were looking at each other and smiling, young love.

  Finally I found it, the perfect picture.

  “Who took this?” I asked as I handed it to her.

  “No idea, probably me. I liked taking photos back then,” she said. We studied it.

  Joe was standing in the middle of Travis and Robert, his arm reaching up and around their shoulders. It wasn’t posed but whatever Joe had just said, Travis and Robert thought funny, they were laughing and Joe was smiling. It was a lovely photo of a father and his sons. The boys looked so young, possibly still teenagers.

  “How about this?” Evelyn said, breaking my thoughts.

  This photo was maybe more recent than the first one. It was Robert and Travis together, just the two of them, heads bent in conversation. A side profile of Robert, full face of Travis. I let my fingers trail over the picture. They hadn’t changed at all.

  “I want to get them copied, I’ll give you back the originals, if you don’t mind,” I asked.

  “Of course, take what you want,” she said.

  We chatted for another hour and I asked how her sister was doing.

  “Not so good really, she has had dementia for so many years now. She knows nothing about it and is happy in her own world but her health is failing. We’re all surprised she has lived as long as she has really, she was always a sickly child.”

  My phone buzzed, I had received a text message.

  “Are you having a good time with Evelyn?”

  It was from Robert, I smiled, still keeping tabs on me. The cameras would have picked up that I had left the house, followed me to the apartment. Later, as I walked back I purposely stopped at one and stuck my tongue out at it.

  “That mouth of yours will pay for that later,” a second text.

  I laughed and settled down with my notebook planning his gifts, all thirty seven of them.

  I heard them arrive ho
me and watched as they got out of the car, laughing and slapping each other on the back as they parted. They’d had a good time it looked like, and I went to the front door to greet Robert.

  “Hey baby,” he said, pulling me towards him.

  “Did you have a good evening?” I asked as we made our way back upstairs.

  “Yes, it was good, a bit like the old days.”

  “Well, spill the beans, who is she?”

  “I don’t know that I’m allowed to say,” he said, joking.

  “Come on, tell me.”

  “Okay, she’s a nurse, he always did have a thing for a girl in uniform, her name is Caroline and he met her at the home. She’d gone there with one of the doctors I think.”

  “Is it serious?”

  “It was the first date, so who knows, he won’t tell me anymore. Now, I’m hungry then I want that naughty mouth of yours,” he said, kissing me.

  I made him dinner, well, reheated something Evelyn had left in the fridge and watched him eat. He always ate so fast, finishing long before anyone else had.

  “Why do you eat so fast? It’s not good for you.”

  “Old habit, we ate fast when we lived on the streets. If you didn’t, someone else would try to take it.”

  I let him go and shower while I cleared away the dishes, turned off the lights and made my way downstairs. He was sitting on the bed, a towel around his waist and as he stood to walk towards me, he let it fall. I kissed the tattoo on his chest, my initials just above his heart and thought back to his comment the previous evening. He made love to me, so tenderly, so totally opposite to the previous night, telling me repeatedly how much he loved me and finally, I fell asleep in his arms.

  ****

  He was up and gone long before I woke, an early breakfast meeting but he had left me a note, a little white embossed card, his name printed in black at the top. Picking the card up from his pillow, I smiled as I read it.

  I love you, Brooke.

  Once he had been able to say it that first time, it was like the floodgates had opened. As much as I told him every day, he did the same. I needed to hear it as much as he did.

  Gary was to drive me to my lunch with the girls. I’d liked him immediately, he had been working with the company for some time and Mack thought he would be good for me. He was younger than Mark had been but he had a great sense of humour. We would never be friends, the nature of his job meant he couldn’t. There could be no emotional tie, it would distract him should he ever have to protect me but it was good to have someone to chat to.