The Dark Side of the Rainbow

by Rita Hogan

  Landon looked away from his sister. “I don’t know what I will do without her.”

  Natasha squeezed her brother’s hand, half in pain and half in worry.

  As if he sensed where her thoughts had taken her—how could they not?—he looked back at her. “Seeing Javier’s wife and children at the funeral made me realize how right you were for calling me a coward when I tried to kill myself. Have I told you lately how thankful I am you forgot your phone that night . . . and for saving me?”

  “Many times. You’ve told me enough,” she responded with sadness in her eyes.

  “I gave you my word, Natasha, and I keep my promises. If Olivia leaves me and is unable to find it in her heart to ever forgive me for what I did to her brother, I will never be the same here,” he said holding his hand to his chest. “But I will not take my life, even when it has been shattered once more. I’ll be here for as long as God is willing.”

  * * *

  When Olivia opened the door of her hotel room to Landon, the sight of her took his breath away. He moved inside the door frame, quickly taking her into his arms, trying not to overwhelm her. It felt like an eternity since he had last touched her. She met his ardor with passionate grace. When he felt the wetness of her tears, he remembered she had been ill.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I forgot you were not feeling well. Are you all right?”

  Gazing into his warm gentle eyes, she nodded, unable to find any words.

  Landon closed the door, never taking his eyes off of her. “I didn’t keep my promise.” There was a flicker of concern in her eyes that worried him. “I stopped at my room first, rather than come straight here. I needed to pick up some things before seeing you.”

  The relief that replaced the concern failed to put him at ease.

  “How was Celia? Did she accept your offer to relocate her and the children?” she asked.

  Of course she would want to know about Celia and her well-being. “She did accept my offer and she was doing as well as could be expected when I left Punta Arenas. Will you come sit with me?”

  Olivia followed him to the sofa. They sat facing each other. Landon kissed her tenderly on the lips. “I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.”

  Looking down at her hands, his words gave her the courage to ask him, “Do you remember when we were at the beach in Chile?”

  Fighting his growing concern, he replied, “How could I forget?”

  “Do you realize you called me Olivia?” The stunned look in his eyes caused her courage to plummet. “It didn’t dawn on me that you had called me by her name until that night when I was trying to sleep. I remembered that she is Jacob Nelson’s sister. Were you in love with her?”

  Landon swallowed hard before nodding his head.

  How her heart ached. “Do you still love her?”

  Leaning back, into the couch he looked away from her. “Let me tell you about Olivia Nelson.” Landon told her about the first time he discovered how wonderful she was, the day she had saved Shannon Able from mean girl Peters. He told her about the daily encounters with her at the Espresso Room and the hours they had spent talking that long ago summer, and about how sweet and kind she was. He shared with her how angry he had been about Jacob’s words when Landon had asked him for his permission to ask Olivia to the movies. He told her how those were the very words which had provoked him to anger, leading up to the tragic race.

  “In one careless moment, not only had I destroyed many lives, I also lost the chance to be loved by Olivia. I’ve never stopped reeling from the pain of both tragedies.”

  Brooke stood from the couch. Walking toward the large picture window, she felt ravaged by his words. She was devastated by the extreme loss she felt. She had her answer. He did love Olivia, but she needed to hear him say it.

  “You didn’t answer my question, Landon. Do you still love her?”

  “Yes.”

  The single word felt like a gunshot wound shattering her whole entire being. The grief she felt caused her shoulders to shake, as she held back the cries which threatened to escape.

  Landon moved toward her. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. There is more.”

  Brooke looked up at him.

  “Before I tell you, I need to give you something.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the compass he had bid for at the auction. “I bought this for you. I’ve been saving it for this moment.” He placed the necklace around her soft neck.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she expressed with trembling lips.

  His thumb brushed her mouth. “This compass is a symbol of all that matters between us. If one day you find you have lost your way, promise me you’ll at least try and remember how much I love you. Please promise me, baby.”

  Bewildered by his words, she gave him her word. “I promise.”

  “Good,” he said before gently kissing her. “I know who you are.”

  There was fear in her eyes. “What do you mean? I don’t understand,” she asked, dazed and confused.

  “I do love Olivia Nelson. I have always loved her and will love her for as long as I live. Look at me,” he demanded when she began to lower her head. Only when she obeyed did he continue. “You are not Brooke Johnson. Your real name is Olivia Nelson. You are the only woman I have ever loved.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  “I don’t understand,” Olivia said, visibly shaken by Landon’s words.

  Landon had taken her to the sofa when he realized her state of shock.

  “What do you mean I’m Olivia Nelson? How is that possible? How can you be certain?”

  “You arrived in Patagonia with black hair and eyes. Your hair is really red, a beautiful mass of fiery curls.”

  She lifted her fingers to her mouth. “The black hair dye.” She had found several boxes of the color treatment in the bathroom.

  “The black contacts you arrived with were discarded in the hospital.”

  Unsure of what to say, she simply stared at Landon.

  “Eight months ago, I hired a private investigator to follow you. I knew you were on your way to Patagonia.”

  “Why would you do that?” she asked, finally finding her voice.

  “Your father warned me. He even suggested I hire someone.” He reached into his back pocket and handed her a stack of letters bound together. “I wrote to your father a couple of years ago, asking once again for his forgiveness. This time, the letter wasn’t returned unread. Instead, I received a response from him. He had never received the letters I wrote shortly after Jacob’s death. Your father told me you must have intercepted them. We exchanged snail mail and email.”

  Exchanged, she thought to herself, past tense.

  Landon paused dreading what he had to say next. “Your father died almost eight months ago. When I heard the news, I decided to follow through with his suggestion. Your hatred for me led you here for . . .”

  “Revenge,” Olivia added. Everything was falling into place.

  Shocked by her words, Landon gazed long at her. “You’ve remembered?”

  She shook her head. “The day before we left for Chile, I discovered I had a lock box at the bank. I searched everywhere for the key, but I was unable to find it. When I returned, I went to the bank and requested a new one. I was afraid to look at the contents. It wasn’t until Thursday night after dinner with your family that I opened it.”

  Landon sighed. “That’s why you didn’t answer my calls on Friday.”

  “I was devastated by what I had found. The thought of hurting you was too overwhelming. I destroyed everything in the fireplace.”

  He didn’t want to know what had been in the safety deposit box.

  She was lost, he could tell, and it frightened him.

  “That afternoon on the beach, when I told you I wasn’t worthy of you, I was right. You, who are quick to forgive—to do more than forgive—deserve better than me.”

  “You promised me, Olivia, you wouldn’t think like that!” he stated with panic in his
voice.

  “When I made that promise, I didn’t know what a wretched person I truly am. You knew I had come to Patagonia to exact revenge on you, to take out my pain and anger on you, but still you loved me.” Every moment they had spent together, every tender word he had shared, poured through her mind; I’ve waited for you my whole life; There is no doubt in my mind about who you are; It took me so long to get on with my life because I was waiting for you. She didn’t feel the pain of her brother’s or father’s loss because she didn’t remember them. What she felt instead was the harrowing grief of her actions and the extraordinary love it had cost her.

  “Everything has changed, Landon.”

  “Please don’t do this, Olivia. Nothing has changed. Look at me,” he urged. “Do you love me? Do you honestly and truly love me, the one who snatched your brother right out of your hands? The one who is responsible for the enormous loss you have carried with you all these years? The one who deserved your revenge, who wanted more than anything to be punished even if it was by your hands? Do you love me?”

  “I love you, Landon Robert Gray. The ghosts in my mind tell me that I love you more than I have loved anyone.”

  “That’s all that matters. We will get through this, build a life together. With everything out in the open we have a chance to make something beautiful. Do you believe that, sweetheart?”

  “I want to, Landon. I need time to think.” Time to remember, she thought.

  He didn’t want to leave her, not now, but he knew he had to give her time to process all that he had told her. With a promise to call her later, Landon tenderly kissed Olivia before leaving her room.

  It was the last time he saw her.

  * * *

  Olivia paid the cab driver before exiting the vehicle. She stood looking at the century-old Victorian house on Orchard Lane in Portland, Oregon. For several long moments, she wondered about her life behind those walls. Had she been happy? What became of her mother? Landon hadn’t said. Everything but the last several weeks was a blank slate.

  Shivering from the wintry cold, Olivia removed the keys from her purse and made her way to the front door, trying not to think about how it was summer in Patagonia, the only home she knew. Glancing up at the gabled porch, she was merely looking at a structure. It wasn’t home. She had no memories of loving, or being loved, in this place. She was unable to recall moments that made her heart soar as it had in Patagonia.

  There were six keys on the ring she had taken with her to Argentina; she assumed that one fit the lock on the door. It had been twenty-four long hours since she had left Landon. Taking only her camera equipment, her electronic devices, and the letters her father had written to the man she loved, she fled Patagonia in search of her past, in search of the real Olivia Nelson. Brooke Johnson no longer existed.

  After Landon left her hotel room yesterday morning, Olivia had agonized over what to do. The night she discovered her plot of betrayal, her decision about how to move forward hinged on whether Landon loved Olivia. If he no longer loved her she would remain and eventually build up the courage to tell him about her plans to ruin him. If he admitted to loving Olivia, she would leave.

  How ironic to discover that she was Olivia, that Landon loved her, and she had left anyhow. The fourth key unlocked the front door to the Victorian.

  “What a beautiful home,” she said out loud to the quiet space. The entrance way had a wide spiral staircase that led to the second floor. Past the stairs was a hallway that opened up to the main living areas of the house. Olivia closed the door and placed her bags next to the hall table. She reached up to click on the jade porcelain lamp, but nothing happened. She tried the switch in the hallway; it too yielded no light. She must have winterized the house before she left.

  Taking a quick survey of the front part of the house, everything looked neat and tidy except for a stack of boxes in the formal living area. When she opened the first several, she realized they were her clothes. Other boxes produced kitchen supplies and home décor. She must have had a place of her own and moved everything into her father’s house before she left.

  Slowly she made her way through every room: the master bedroom downstairs, the four bedrooms upstairs, the family room, and kitchen. Nothing, she thought. Nothing sparked any of her buried memories. Peering outside of the kitchen window, Olivia felt a twinge of something shifting inside of her when she saw the tree house.

  “Was this where my brother and I played?” she asked the empty house. Since arriving, the sky had opened up and was pouring down rain. It would be difficult to make the climb. “Another time,” she added to the stillness.

  Making her way to the family room, she found a stack of throws on an ottoman. Laying them out on the sofa, she removed her coat and shoes and climbed under the covers. Despair had been clawing at her all the way from South America. It had finally caught up to her in the cold empty house.

  “I love you, Landon,” she cried to the stillness. “I’ll always love you.”

  * * *

  When Olivia awoke, she realized she had slept for close to twenty-four hours. It was Tuesday and businesses were open. She would call the electric and gas companies to have the power and heat restored. Hopefully, a plumber was available to turn on the water. Starving, she checked the pantry and found it bare. She picked up her phone to search for places that delivered. After ordering a pizza and a salad, she made a grocery list for her trip to the store tomorrow.

  Several hours later, all the utilities were functioning properly in the house. Needing a shower, Olivia made her way to the bathroom. Standing before the mirror she remembered what Landon had said about her hair, a mass of beautiful red curls. Had she liked her red hair? When she was done with her shower she would look for photo albums.

  Olivia had left all of her clothes in her hotel room back at the Grand Vue, except for the cashmere wrap Landon had given her the night they went to Dragonfly. She had no memory of that evening except what he had shared with her. It didn’t matter that she was unable to recall the way he looked at her or the way he had made her laugh that evening; leaving without the gift hadn’t been an option. Rummaging through one of the boxes in the formal living room, she found a brown sweat suit with pink stripes along the side of the pant legs.

  Finished with her shower and feeling refreshed for the first time in three days, she went in search of photo albums, and anything else that might give her clues about her life before the accident. A small pile of items grew on the coffee table in the living room as she searched the house.

  Before she had a chance to begin poring over her past, the doorbell rang.

  A little startled by the sound, Olivia hesitated for a moment. She debated about answering. Perhaps it was a watchful neighbor stopping by to check on the house when they noticed it no longer sat dormant.

  Peering through the peep hole, she saw a middle-aged woman of about average height and assumed that’s exactly who was on the other side, a concerned neighbor.

  Olivia opened the door. “Hello, how may I help you?”

  “Olivia!” The woman exclaimed.

  The younger woman nodded.

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” the older woman asked in a concerned and bewildered voice.

  “I must know you,” was all Olivia could think to say.

  “Know me? I’m your Aunt Sarah.”

  Understanding and relief filled Olivia’s eyes. She did have family who was alive.

  “Oh! I’m sorry I don’t recognize you. I was away and in an accident. I don’t remember who I am.”

  Tears filled her Aunt Sarah’s eyes. “May I come in, sweetheart?”

  “Of course,” she replied, opening the door wider to allow her aunt entry into the now warm house.

  When Olivia closed the door and turned to the woman who said she was her aunt, her heart felt sad at the sorrow in Sarah’s eyes. It touched her, for she could imagine how hard this must be for her. “Were we close?” she asked her aunt.

  Nodding, the
older woman said, “Your father is my brother. I helped him raise you and Jacob. Your mother—my best friend—she died giving birth to you.”

  Olivia lifted her hand to her lips, saddened by the knowledge.

  “I don’t know what to say, Olivia, or where to begin. I came by because Beatrice, the neighbor, called and left a message telling me that a woman with black hair arrived at the house and let herself in with the key. I got the message a little while ago and couldn’t imagine who you might be, so I came right over. Beatrice had agreed to watch the house while you were gone on your trip.”

  “I was preparing to look through some photo albums. Do you have time to visit? I have a lot of questions.”

  After making some tea, Olivia joined her Aunt Sarah on the couch and told her about the accident on The Absolution, resulting in her memory loss.

  “You were in Patagonia? You told me you were in the Antarctic with a group of photographers on the Ice Project.”

  “Melissa Clark,” she said staring off into space. Olivia had thought of nearly everything, including a way to fool her aunt about where she was really going. Had she told her about her true destination, a call to the Grand Vue asking for Olivia Nelson could have blown her cover.

  “Yes,” her aunt stated. “You gave me her name in case of an emergency, making it very clear that where you were headed would be difficult to reach.”

  How deep did her treacherous nature run? What if something had happened to her aunt? She would never have known. Olivia had cared more about her plans for revenge than she had about the surrogate mother who had helped raise her.

  “I’m very sorry, Aunt Sarah.” Olivia told her everything, including how she fell in love with Landon.

  When Olivia was done with her story, Sarah asked, “May I hug you, honey? I have missed you so much.”

  She nodded, welcoming the warm touch of her aunt. The older woman patted her niece’s back, much as she had when she was a little girl, crooning words of comfort, telling her that everything would be all right.