Nameless

by Jessica Sorensen

  "Sorry," Blaise grumbles, stiffly keeping ahold of me.

  Ryder lines his palm up against the glass box, and a red light illuminates. The rays of light change direction, and then one of the walls glides open.

  "Stop holding her like that. You're going to drop her," Ryder snaps then steps into the box.

  Blaise grits his teeth then eases me against him until my cheek presses against his chest. His muscles are taut, tension flowing from him just like me. His heart is racing just like mine, too. I'm pretty sure we're both holding our breaths, equally afraid of each other.

  He's afraid of me. He doesn't want me. I've never seen anything like it before.

  Curious, I place an unsteady palm to his chest and feel his heart rate accelerate. His head jerks down in my direction, his eyes wide and crammed with fear. I yank back, and his shocked expression changes to bafflement. He's looking at me differently now, but I can't figure out what the look means.

  "Go through now!" Ryder yells as a sequence of beeps fire off and beams flash around us.

  "Don't you dare move!" someone shouts.

  An icy shiver creeps through me at the familiarity of the voice. Terrified, I crane my neck and shudder at the sight of Lex standing about fifty feet away from us with his stony eyes trained on me. He has a steel shock collar in one hand and a beating stick in the other.

  "Always trying to escape," he says with a smirk.

  I clasp Blaise's jacket for dear life. No. No. No! I can't go back! No!

  Gripping me, Blaise barrels forward.

  "Do I need to remind you of the punishment for stealing a Nameless!" Lex shouts, rage ringing in his tone.

  Blaise only speeds up, running at an alarming pace as he charges through the open door of the glass box. When the rays of light hit my skin, searing pain rips through my body. My back arches, and I almost tumble out of his arms. But pain is mild in comparison to what the wardens will do if they catch us, so I suck it up and loop my arms around Blaise's neck. He stiffens from my touch, but his eyes remain straight ahead.

  More beeping. More sirens. More flashing lights. Shots fired. Lex continues to shout threats as more wardens start yelling. The air reeks of death and something else I've never smelled before, something metallic and hot.

  "I'll find you!" Lex yells. "There's nowhere to hide out there! I'm not letting you go! Not ever!"

  A sense of dread crashes down on my chest. What if he does come after me? What will happen if he catches me?

  "Just a little bit longer," Blaise mutters then slams into something solid. He stumbles back then runs forward again, throwing his weight forward. "Come on. Come on--"

  A blinding light suddenly surrounds us, and cold air rushes across my skin. My skull throbs as I suck in a breath, but my lungs burn in protest.

  "Reece, I need you to take her," Blaise pants. "I have to go back in."

  "Why?" an unfamiliar voice asks. "What happened to Ryder?"

  "Wardens swarmed him," Blaise says. "He's stuck in the scanner."

  Blaise shoves me into a stranger's arms. I try to see his face, but the light screams against my pupils. I strive for another breath, but the air nips at my lungs.

  "Get her to the closest post and wait for us," Blaise orders. "If we're not there in--"

  "Yeah, I know the drill. I'm the one who created it," the stranger cuts him off. "Just get your ass back in there and help Ryder. And don't let them track you out! Make sure they still think you're down there!"

  I hear footsteps running away then nothing except the desperate sound of my breathing. I have no idea who has me. I can barely think straight through the fear.

  "Relax," the stranger whispers. "You're safe now."

  Safe? How can I be safe? We haven't gone very far. Wardens have to be close. And I can't seem to breathe normally. Whatever's in the air out here is smothering me.

  "I can't ..." I manage to say before the light dims out, and I fade with it.

  Chapter Three

  A Forgotten Memory

  The blindfold wrapped around my eyes is cutting off my circulation and making my head feel like it's stuffed in a glass bowl. The rope around my wrists cuts into my skin, and the way my hands are bound make my arms ache. The scents of dirt, rain, and trees touch my nostrils as the cool air nips my skin.

  I don't know where I am or how I got here. All I know is that I'm scared out of my mind. My pulse soars, my skin damp with sweat, and my breaths are coming out in short, uneven beats.

  "Are you ready to run?" someone whispers in my ear, their breath disgustingly hot.

  Startled, I trip forward and fall flat on my face. Dirt goes up my nose, and I start coughing.

  They laugh. "Get up. You don't want to fall down like that during the hunt. You'll end up losing before it even starts."

  I roll onto my back and squint, trying to see through the fabric. Spots of sunlight flicker from the sky, and I can make out the shadow of a face hovering over me.

  "I said get up," he commands, kicking me in the side. I whimper, and he kicks me repeatedly until I taste blood in my mouth. "Get up! Get up! Get up!"

  Unable to stand the pain any longer, I roll onto my back and lean forward, trying to stand. His boot collides with my ribs one more time before I get my feet under me.

  "I like that you're afraid. Most can't feel the fear through the drugs," he says. "You're gonna make a good one. Nice and strong. You'll be able to feed a lot of them."

  I'm not sure who he is, what he means, or where I was before I got here. It's like, one minute, I just suddenly existed. I don't like the feeling. I want to know why I'm here, how I got here, and who I am.

  "Get ready to run." He moves up behind me.

  My senses are overwhelmed with his body heat. I start to recoil, but I end up bumping into him.

  He shoves me forward. "I'm about to pull the trigger. If you make it out of the woods before I shoot, then I get to keep you."

  Get shot? Get kept? Those are my only two choices?

  Part of me wants to lie down and die right now, accept death instead of giving in to being chased. Wouldn't it be better that way?

  But when a shot rings through the air, my instincts kick in. I sprint forward, but a couple of steps in, I trip over something. I land on my face, and my head knocks against something hard. Dizziness swims around me as warm liquid trickles down my forehead.

  "You're gonna have to do better than that," the man shouts. "I'll give you another chance. Ready. Set. Go!" Another shot rings out.

  I spring to my feet and run. Through the blindfold, I can make out the outline of trees. I dodge around them. Left and right. Left. Left. Right. I move around surprisingly well.

  Left again then right. For a moment, I think I might be able to outrun the man, but then my shoulder slams against something rough and hard. I catch my balance and keep going, but the impact definitely slows me down. I head forward, hoping I'm going in the right direction.

  I hear movement around me, sounds of a ton of people out in the trees. But I don't hear a single voice, just movements: branches snapping and soft thuds.

  "I'm getting closer!" the man hollers, although he sounds farther away.

  I pick up the pace, my feet hammering against the soft dirt. The thudding matches my heart beat. I'm tired and running out of breath. I'm not sure how long I can keep going, but I fight even though my body wants to surrender. I won't go down without a fight. Maybe, if I run fast enough, I'll be able to get away.

  Maybe I can esca--

  A jolt of electricity zaps through my body and sends my feet right out from under me. For a split second, I go airborne then land hard on my back. The oxygen is ripped from my lungs as searing pain splinters through my body. I feel like I've been cooked alive, like my blood is boiling.

  "Time's up." A shadow casts over me. "Looks like you didn't make it."

  "I can't breathe," I gasp, clutching at my throat.

  He laughs as he crouches down and yanks the blindfold off me. Light st
ings my eyes, and I squint, desperate to see who's in front of me.

  Dark hair, and he has a small box in his one hand and a steel pole in the other. He drops the pole to the ground and roughly presses his fingers to my cheek, his fingernails digging into my flesh. His lips curl as he turns my head from side to side, examining me.

  "I'm going to get a hell of a lot of money for you, darlin'. Do you even know how valuable you are?"

  I open my mouth to respond, even though I don't know the answer, but a vibrant zap zings through my body. Then all I can see is darkness.

  Chapter Four

  The Bleeding Sky

  "Come on, breathe," someone begs. "Come on. Come on."

  I don't know where I am, but it feels like I'm lying on a cold, solid surface. My head is resting against something soft, and two fingers are pressed to my wrist. I instinctively pull away, but my arm doesn't budge.

  "Try giving her mouth to mouth again. It seemed like it was helping." This voice sounds familiar, but it takes me a moment to figure out why.

  Ryder, the guy who saved me. He made it out alive.

  "It was temporarily helping," the first guy who spoke says. "I can only get her to breathe for a few seconds. Then it's like she gives up."

  I will my eyes to open, but my eyelids already feel like they're open. All I can see is light, though. Vibrant light makes my eyeballs ache.

  "Do you really blame her after what she's been through?" a deep voice grumbles.

  "Shut up, Blaise," Ryder warns. "She deserves to live."

  "That's not what I mean." Blaise's tone rises in panic. "I just meant that I ... that she ..."

  "Would you two both shut up so I can figure this out?" the guy whose voice I don't recognize orders.

  "Sorry," Ryder and Blaise mumble.

  "She's weak, and with the burns the lasers put on her ... This is bad." The stranger is so close I can feel the warmth of his breath against my cheeks. "I don't know, though. It's like her body is refusing to give up. She's strong. I just hope it's not too late and there's no permanent damage."

  Silence stretches between them. I can hear noises coming at me from every direction: air gusting across my face, the soft puffs of someone breathing, rustles and shifts, and hundreds of other noises pinging at my brain. My senses are on overload, my skin tingles, and my skull feels on the verge of exploding. I inhale sharply, but the oxygen doesn't relieve the ache building inside me.

  "I think she's having a panic attack," Blaise mutters. "She's breathing, but I don't think she's getting enough air."

  "You know what? I think you're right," the stranger agrees. "We need to get her to calm down."

  "Don't look at me," Blaise snaps. "I don't know how to do that."

  The rage in his tone sends a wave of fear crashing through me. I claw at the surface beneath me, trying to sit up. The ground beneath me feels damp, and soft yet hard. I breathe in deeply, and the earthy scent of dirt touches my nostrils.

  Wait? Am I outside?

  "You know more about panic attacks than any of us," Ryder says quietly. "How did you get your sister to calm down?"

  "I don't know. Everyone's different." Blaise pauses. "Maybe we should get her in the car. Maybe being outside is too much. Besides, we should probably get going before we're spotted. Ryder and I made it look like we were still in the channels, but the wardens will figure it out eventually and then come looking for us out here."

  "Yeah, I know," the stranger agrees. "I wonder how long she's been in there."

  "I'm guessing a while." Ryder sounds pained. "Here, I'll carry her. She was more relaxed with me than Blaise."

  "Do you blame her?" the stranger asks. "Blaise probably scared the hell out of her."

  There's a thwack, and Ryder lets out what I think is a laugh. I'm not quite sure, because it's been ages since I've heard one.

  "Just hang on. We're going to help you." Ryder's breath dusts the top of my head as strong arms slip underneath me.

  I gasp. Normally, when someone touches me, it's unwelcomed and painful. I don't believe Ryder's going to hurt me, though. At least, I want to believe he won't.

  "Easy, Allura," Ryder whispers. "I promised I wouldn't hurt you, and I meant it."

  "Why did you just call her Allura?" the guy with the unrecognizable voice asks.

  "Because that's her name." Footsteps crunch against the ground as Ryder starts walking somewhere.

  "How the hell do you know that?" Blaise asks. "I thought you said they didn't have a file on her."

  "They didn't, but when I asked her what her name is, she said Allura." Ryder's muscles flex underneath me.

  "She answered you?" Blaise asks incredulously. "She knew her name? Her real name?"

  "It seemed like she did," Ryder replies. "I'm not sure where she got it from. If someone randomly gave it to her or maybe she heard someone else say it."

  "I'm surprised she knows how to talk," Blaise murmurs. "She looked so confused when you were talking to her in the cell."

  "She wasn't confused." Ryder slows to a stop. "She was scared out of her damned mind. She thought we were there to hurt her."

  "Of course she did. You were there, posing as a visitor," the stranger says. "I get where Blaise is coming from, though. Most Nameless never learn how to talk. Or if they do, the trauma gets to them and they usually forget. Maybe she hasn't been in the channels for very long. Still, it's weird. I've rescued about ten, and none of them knew how to talk."

  "How many survived out of those?" Ryder asks. "I know the numbers are usually low."

  "One," the stranger says quietly. "Their survival rate is extremely low, especially if they were born in the cells."

  A hush falls between them. I can hear the rustling of fabric and the creaking of hinges, and then I'm being laid down on the softest, smoothest surface that's ever touched my skin. I'm terrified, but I don't dare move. When I hear a loud bang, though, I flip to my side and curl into a ball.

  A hand touches my back. "It's okay," Ryder says.

  My muscles ravel so tightly I swear my limbs are about to snap off.

  "She's breathing better," Blaise says from my other side. "That's a good sign, right?"

  "She still doesn't look completely coherent." Ryder's fingers sketch patterns on my back. "Her eyes are open, but it's like she can't focus."

  My eyes are open? I flutter my eyelashes, trying to decide for myself. It feels like they're open, so why can't I see?

  "Maybe it's too bright," Blaise suggests. "It was fucking dark down there. Maybe her pupils can't adjust."

  "Hmmm ..." Ryder's fingers stop moving. "Give me your jacket."

  "What're you going to do with it?" Blaise grumbles.

  Before Ryder can answer, the intense light reduces to a dark grey. I blink a few times as my vision comes into focus. Shapes form, dull colors, blurry images. It takes my brain a minute to process everything, and again, my senses struggle to take it all in. But slowly, I start to put together my surroundings.

  A black surface is right in front of my face. I splay my palm against it. Cold. Smooth. The same surface is also right below me. Leather? A leather seat. I'm on a leather seat. I don't know how I know that. I just do.

  I tip my head toward where my feet are and find Ryder holding a leather jacket over our heads like an umbrella.

  "Hey," he says. "Is that better?"

  I nod, too afraid to say no.

  "Good." The corners of his lips turn upward into a smile, even though his eyes carry a hint of sadness.

  It hasn't been that long since I've seen someone smile. In fact, a lot of visitors smile. Ryder's smile doesn't make my stomach churn, but instills safety, which only intensifies when he hands me a bottle of water.

  I grab the bottle from him, prop up on my elbow, and savagely consume it. By the time I'm finished, water is running down my chin and neck. I still feel so thirsty, but I'm afraid to ask for more.

  Ryder hands me an odd-looking, brown square. "Eat this. I know it's not much, bu
t we'll get you more food when we get to Leviter Station."

  I stuff the brown square into my mouth, ignoring the bland taste and sandy texture as I swallow it down.

  "How do your lungs feel?" Ryder asks as he takes the empty bottle of water from me and chucks it to the floor. "Can you breathe better now?"

  I nod, inhaling and exhaling as I rest my head down on the seat. Now that I'm no longer outside, the dry air feels less harsh and bitter against my lungs.

  "We're going to get you out of here." Ryder continues to smile at me. "It might sound and feel kind of weird when Reece starts driving. The car rides like a tank and it can get a little bumpy."

  I nod as I hear a rumble, and then the engine roars to life. The vibrations are violent, making my teeth clank together.

  Ryder stares down at me with his brows dipped. "Wait, do you know what a car is? I can explain it to you if you need me to."

  "I know ..." I clear my throat, lowering my voice to a whisper. "I know what a car is."

  His lips part. "How do you--"

  "Don't overwhelm her with questions," Blaise cuts him off. "Just let her rest."

  I angle my head back, following the sound of his voice. He's sitting beside my feet with his hip pressed against the door, as if he's trying to keep as much distance from me as possible. The jacket Ryder is holding above my head makes it hard to see Blaise's face, so I crane my neck until I get a glimpse of his scruffy chin, his neck, and his arms crossed over his chest. He still looks rough and terrifying, yet now that I'm not inside my cell, I feel less afraid of him.

  "Eventually, we're going to have to ask her questions," the stranger, Reece, says from the seat up front. "It's protocol."

  "I know the protocol." Blaise glares at Reece. "But you can at least wait until we get back to Leviter Station before you start picking her apart."

  Pick me apart? Wait ... Where are they taking me? What are they going to do to me? I thought I was free. Through all of this, I hadn't thought that maybe they were just transferring me somewhere else.

  I scramble to get up, knocking the jacket out of Ryder's hand. The light swarms me again, stinging fiercely against my eyes. I blink furiously, trying to get my vision to focus, but it doesn't do an ounce of good.

  "Allura, please calm down," Ryder pleads. "I need to get the jacket back over you."

  I sit up with my hands out in front of me. "No," I croak. "I won't let you hurt me."