NOMADS The Box Set

by Erin Trejo

  “She hasn’t gotten over you,” Josie says, dropping into the chair next to mine. I look over at her and nod, knowing that this conversation wasn’t going to end any time soon. I’d expected her to say more on the subject

  “Not my problem anymore,” I deadpan as I grip the bottle a little tighter. I don’t want to hear this.

  “Do you know why someone would send her that?” she asks, clearly wondering who the finger might belong to. Considering I don’t know and even if I did, I wouldn’t share that with her. Especially knowing that it could drag her into it too.

  “Not a fuckin’ clue. Made a few calls but no one knows much about it. Just keep an eye on her, yeah?” I tell her.

  Josie smirks and shakes her head. “You think it’s that easy?”

  “Yeah,” I say in a controlled tone.

  “It’s not. You held her heart, Lynx, and I think you still do. She can’t just walk away from you now that you’re here.”

  “She doesn’t have choice,” I tell her as I bring the bottle to my lips. Taking a long pull, I can feel Josie’s eyes burning into me. I turn to face her, lowering the bottle. “What happened between us was a long time ago, darlin’. I don’t wanna live in the past anymore. There’s too much more out there ahead and nothing left in the rearview mirror.”

  “I think you’re wrong on that. She still loves you. I don’t know that she’s ever stopped.”

  “Guess she will have to learn that the hard way like I did, yeah?” Josie huffs and shakes her head before walking away from me. It doesn’t bother me. People need to walk away from me. I’m poison of the worst kind. She didn’t deserve what I had to offer her five years ago, and I’ve changed since then. I’ve become something worse than I ever was. I’ve done things far worse than beat her foster dad since I was locked up. Harper doesn’t see that part, and if she did, she would run again. I hate myself for who I’ve become over the years. I hate that what made me this way was my own choices, but even still, she doesn’t deserve me now. She made her choice and now that’s something that she has to live with.

  “You going to nurse that bottle all night or you want the good shit?” Chip asks shaking the vodka in front of me. I chuckle and down the beer, holding the empty bottle up to him.

  “How’s that?”

  He laughs and passes me the vodka and a glass. “Let’s do this. We drink it up tonight, we work it off tomorrow.”

  I laugh along with him as I pour a glass and pass him the bottle. He does the same and sits next to me.

  “To the future. Whatever the hell that is,” he says, raising his glass.

  I raise mine and nod. Yeah, whatever the hell it may be.

  84

  Harper

  My mood is shit. It has been for a week. I feel like I’ve been run over by a freight train. Well, I have. I was mauled by Lynx. That’s about the same thing.

  “Girl, your song is coming up next!” Sandra yells over the noise of the crowd.

  I smile, toss her a wink, and get ready. The other girls line up next to me just as the song changes. We have a semi-stage set up in the back of the bar that we all dance on, but sometimes the crowd gets insane and joins us. Josie usually cuts them off but sometimes they just want to join in and have a good time too. We play all kinds of music here, not just country like some would think. Just because we’re in the heart of Nashville doesn’t mean we have to stick to their standards, and we sure as hell don’t. Shakira blasts through the speakers as we all get ready.

  Just as we begin to move to the beat, my hips swaying and my body becoming loose, I spot him in the back corner. His eyes are dark, hooded as he watches me. He doesn’t look away and I decide it’s time to give him a show. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen him last, and despite the fact that I want slap him in the face, I want to make him feel the same way I do. I want him to feel that want that we used to share for each other. Since we kissed. It was fire, it was passion, it was raw, and I want it. I want more of him.

  “Shake it, girl!” one of the guys in front of us screams.

  I smirk and continue my routine as Lynx’s eyes burn like fire through my body. I shudder when I look up and find him moving forward, closer to the stage. Chip is right behind him, shoving a few guys off their stools to take a seat at the table up front.

  “Give it up for our dancers!” Josie’s voice roars over the crowd and the music. They all go wild, a few girls climbing on stage to dance with us. The bouncers and security keep the guys back.

  Sweat drips down my temples as I keep going. The smile on my face is real. I love doing this. It gives me a sense of freedom that I don’t always feel. When the song is over, the crowd screams and throws dollars at us. Security picks it all up and then Josie will distribute it when the night’s over. I’m heading back toward the bar when hands wrap around my waist. I’m jerked back into a hard body.

  “You shake that ass real well.”

  As soon as I hear the words from an unfamiliar voice, I try to pull away from him. In seconds, the man is ripped off me and Lynx is there, pounding him into the ground.

  “What the hell?” Josie yells when security rushes over. They grab the guy and Lynx, but Josie motions for them to let Lynx go. “In the back! Now!” She snaps her fingers pointing between the two of us. I swallow hard, Chip chuckles, and Lynx looks pissed as we all filter to the back room. As soon as the door closes, Josie rounds on us. “You first!” she yells, pointing at me. “What happened?”

  “Some asshole grabbed me,” I tell her. She looks to Lynx as he says, “And I handled it.” Chip barks out a laugh.

  “You shut up,” Josie snaps, pointing at him. He raises his hands in defeat and walks away still chuckling under his breath.

  “I didn’t do anything!” I defend myself as Lynx huffs. We both turn to look at him then.

  “What? What did she do?” No, she didn’t just ask him!

  “Oh, I don’t know. Shakin’ her ass in front of all those men for starters!” he roars. Josie and I both jolt from the force of his words.

  “Since when do you care? You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me,” I yell back at him. He narrows his gaze at me before turning and walking out the back door. Josie and I stand there shocked and confused.

  “Well. I don’t know what to say about that,” she mumbles.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what his problem is, Josie. Some guy grabbed me, I was about to move away when he showed up.”

  “Not your fault, Harper. The man is unstable when he’s around you,” she says softly.

  “He’s unstable anyway.”

  “I think he still loves you, honey.”

  I snort out a laugh. “He doesn’t. We’ve been over this.”

  “Do you love him, Harper? Like really?”

  God, I don’t want to answer that. I really don’t. But there really is only one answer, and I’m pretty sure she, and everyone else, already know the answer.

  “Yes,” I whisper the words that have torn at my heart for the last five years. The power of that one word is defeating. It saps my energy, my head hanging with the pain of lost love.

  Josie walks over, throwing her arm around my shoulders. “You two need to talk this out,” she says softly.

  “I tried that. He just keeps saying he wants nothing to do with me.” I don’t know if I want to scream, run, or curse. My insides are trembling, being ripped apart.

  “Well, this can’t keep happening here, Harper.”

  “I know and I’m sorry, Josie.”

  “Don’t. It wasn’t your fault. Go talk to him,” she says ushering me toward the door.

  As soon as I step outside, I spot him pacing the alley behind the club. Even in his agitation, he’s beautiful to behold, but right now I’m hurt and angry.

  “You shouldn’t have done that. You’re going to get me fired,” I snap. He stops walking and turns to look at me.

  “This what you’ve become, Harper? Shakin’ your goddamn ass in a bar?”
The sneer in his voice pisses me off. It’s not like I’m stripping or something. I’m fully clothed at all times.

  “That’s not fair!” I scream at him.

  He rests his hands on his hips as he glares at me. “Isn’t it? What the fuck is fair, Harper? Huh? Me goin’ to prison or you leavin’ me? That fair?”

  “Are you ever going to get over that? I can’t change the past, Lynx! Jesus Christ, you are worse than a child,” I yell at him, watching his eyes darken by the second with anger. Even when I’m this angry, I would still give anything to feel him pressed against me, holding me, kissing me. Anything.

  “When you spend five fuckin’ years alone, it’s not that easy to move on,” he says with his teeth clenched together.

  “And I can’t fix that for you, Lynx. I can’t. I don’t know what the hell you want me to do here. Tell me what you want me to do.” I almost regret that question as soon as it slips past my lips. Lynx smirks, and damn it, it looks good on him.

  “What I want? I want my old life back, Harper. I want the life that I was supposed to have before all this shit blew up on me. I want my goddamn life!” he roars. The back door opens and Chip walks out glaring between us.

  “This needs to stop. You two need to work out the past and move on. You can’t keep going at each other like this. It’s not healthy,” he says looking between the two of us.

  I sigh in defeat. It isn’t me that can’t let the past go. It’s Lynx.

  “Who the hell said I wanted a future with her?” Lynx asks, looking toward Chip.

  My heart shatters in my chest. It’s not like I expected him to say he still loved me. I know he doesn’t. He hates me for what happened back then and I can’t blame him. But it’s the final nail in the coffin, and it hurts more than I could have ever expected.

  “Luke’s inside looking for you,” Chip mumbles softly.

  I nod my head and walk back inside feeling completely at a loss. As I walk back out to the bar, I spot him in his usual spot. His head comes up when he sees me, a small smile curling his lips. I walk down and stop in front of him, forcing myself to smile.

  “You look good,” he says, eyeing me like he always does.

  “You haven’t been around much,” I remind him of his absence.

  “I needed to think about things, Harper. I’m sorry,” he says, looking down.

  Yeah, me too.

  “And what have you been thinking?”

  His head comes back up, his eyes locking with mine. “I’m not sure I want to give you up, Harper.”

  My heart beats rapidly in my chest. I never thought that he’d say that after what he heard. It scares me a little.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I still want to be with you.” He chuckles before standing and cupping my cheek. Pulling my face to his, he kisses me softly. But it’s wrong. It doesn’t feel right. It’s not the kiss I want.

  85

  Lynx

  I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to walk away and leave before I did something else I’ll regret. Now I sit on the edge of the bed shirtless, running my fingers over the motorcycle charm that still hangs around my neck. I know I told her I kept it as a reminder of all the things I hate her for, but that’s not the truth. I’ve kept it as all the reminders of the things I loved about her. Her fire, her passion. The way she used to look at me like I was the only man she could see. Five years I lost because of her. The more I think about it, the more I know it was worth it. The more I think about it, the more I know I made the right decision. She would have been dead if I hadn’t showed up that night. Despite the consequences. She would be dead and that’s far worse than her leaving me. And losing her was the hardest part of loving her. She didn’t deserve what happened to her; it wasn’t her fault that she was placed in that house with him.

  The look on her face when I yelled at her fucking sticks in my mind. I almost hate her more than I love her. It’s a complete contradiction, but it’s true.

  “Lynx!”

  I hear Stan yelling my name. I shove off the bed and head into the hallway when he meets me halfway.

  “What’s goin’ on?”

  “Someone broke into her house. We’re heading that way,” he says quickly.

  “What? Whose house?” I ask, grabbing my shirt and pull it over my head before following along behind him.

  “Harper’s. Cops are there now,” he says over his shoulder as he heads out the door.

  I follow behind him, anger simmering inside of me. Who the hell would do that? I climb in the truck as Josie and Chip turn to look at me.

  “What?”

  Josie snickers, Chip says nothing. Thank God for that, too. I’m on edge as it is. Seeing Harper has really fucked with my head. I didn’t plan on seeing her here. Who the hell would have thought that she would be here of all places. The fact that I’m angry as fuck with hurt has melted away from the forefront of my mind. Right now the fact that someone is fucking with her just ups my anger to another level. That’s bigger. I’ve always had anger issues, but this is becoming intense.

  The ride to Harper’s isn’t long, maybe ten minutes at the most. As soon as the truck stops, I’m out of it and moving toward the house. I step inside just as the cops turn to look at me. Fuck them. I don’t give two shits about them, but when my eyes lock on hers, I lose it, a hurricane of emotions ripping through me. We stare at each other, waiting for the other to move just like always, but when I nod my head at her, she leaps from the chair and runs to me, crashing into my arms. I hold her against me, running my hand up and down her back as she cries.

  “You find anything?” I ask the cops.

  “No. Broke the back window out and trashed the house. As far as we can tell so far nothing was taken,” one of them says.

  “Why trash the fuckin’ house then?” I growl. Her arms stay locked around my waist, tightening in the back of my shirt.

  “Anyone you might know?” the other cop asks, his eyes roaming over my cut that I grabbed before we left the house.

  “I’m a fuckin’ Nomad, asshole. We don’t typically fuck with the locals if we aren’t friendly.”

  He doesn’t blink, just stares at me. Fucking prick. “Have you had any runs in with anyone?”

  Why the fuck are his questions directed at me when I just got here? I’m about to ask him when Chip steps up.

  “We just got here, officer. Why don’t you tell us?”

  “Chip Marten. Didn’t know you were out of the state pen of the great old Texas,” he says in a southern tone. I grit my teeth and start to pull away from Harper. Thunder cracks outside, the impending storm slowly moving in.

  “Didn’t know I needed to inform you,” he grunts.

  “You know her?” he asks, nodding toward Harper.

  “Just met her recently,” he adds.

  “Look, go do what you do. Clearly finding out who broke in here isn’t on your to do list, officers,” Josie sneers. The cops all glance at each other before handing a card to me.

  “In case you remember something.”

  “Yeah, I don’t need that shit. Memory loss,” I add with a grunt. He pulls his hand back and they all turn to walk out just as lightning flashes through the windows. Harper’s body trembles in my arms and my chest constricts.

  “Talk to Josie a minute, darlin’,” I whisper into the top of her hair. She pulls back reluctantly as I grab Chip’s arm and lead him into the kitchen. Once we get there, I lean against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest as I try to keep calm. My body is vibrating with anger and I can’t seem to stop it. Chip watches me, standing in the middle of the room as if he has no clue what to say.

  “What the hell is happening?” he asks. I shrug.

  “No fuckin’ idea but I don’t like this, man. If they know where she lives, they know where you live. She can’t stay here and she can’t go there.”

  “What are you going to do?” he asks, looking up at me.

  “Whatever I have to do. I’m gonna c
all the local MC and see if we can stay there until we figure this shit out,” I tell him. It isn’t ideal. There are a few locals that we’re good with but a few we’re not. The fact is, we don’t know who the hell is doing this or why.

  “Shit, Lynx. This isn’t good.”

  Just as I’m about to say more, Josie yells. Chip and I both turn and run into the room only to see Josie running out the front door.

  “What the hell?” I roar.

  “She took off running,” Josie screams as the rain begins to fall in sheets.

  “I got her. Go pack her a bag!” I yell over the sound of thunder rumbling through the sky. I see her not far in front of me, her head lowered, shoulders slumped in defeat. I make it to her and spin her around to face me.

  “What the hell are you doin’? Don’t run like that!” I roar.

  She looks up and my heart stutters. So goddamn broken and lost. It’s not her. This hate and anger isn’t her fault. Never was. This is my fault. I nearly killed him. I’m the one who made that choice and she paid the price for it. She was left alone to fend for herself. She had no one. Fuck! I was all that she had!

  “I only have Josie. I don’t talk to people if I don’t have to, Lynx!” she screams as tears mix with the rain.

  “I know,” I whisper. I reach up and cup her face in my hands, looking into her eyes. “I fucked up, Harper. I left you alone to deal with everything. I made my own choices and didn’t think about what might happen to you at the time. I’m so goddamn sorry I left you,” I tell her in the most honest way that I know how. I did this. I messed up and all this time I’ve been taking it out on her. She should never forgive me. Fuck, I will never forgive myself.