Imagining Diana

by Diane Clehane

  “I’m so happy for you, William,” said Diana, her voice catching as tears clouded her eyes. “You are both very lucky to have found each other.”

  “You do like her?”

  “I will love her,” answered Diana.

  She poked her son playfully on the shoulder.

  “I’m finally getting a daughter,” she quipped. “It’s about time.”

  Diana stood in the doorway and watched her son drive off on his motorcycle until he faded into the distance. He had looked as happy as she’d ever seen him. She was so grateful that she and Charles hadn’t ruined it for him after all. Diana had worried that William had gone off marriage after he and Kate had broken up three years before. But Kate had played her cards just right, thought Diana. Rather than tearfully try to change William’s mind, she’d left him alone and decided to show him what he was missing. She’d thrown herself back into the social scene with her equally attractive sister. Kate also joined the Sisterhood, a self-described “talented and toned” all-female crew team, who were all too happy to add Kate to their ranks. The vigorous training had whittled her already slim frame down to a size 4. Like Diana, she had the height and figure (thanks to hour-long daily sessions at the gym and weekly tennis dates at Diana’s old haunt, the Harbour Club) to pull off every look she tried, but opted for style over fashion. It wasn’t long before William realized he didn’t want to lose the woman who was both his best friend and the love of his life.

  So, after eight years, it appeared that William and Kate were finally going to be married. Diana knew that Kate was a good match for William. In the years since they’d broken up and gotten back together, Kate had emerged as a calming presence in William’s life. Diana was impressed by her poise and naturalness around the royals, and most of all by her good humor. There had not been enough laughter in her own marriage, she thought, so the idea of her son having found someone who was both proper and fun pleased Diana no end.

  “Well, that’s wonderful news, isn’t it?” said Diana, as she walked back into the drawing room.

  “You have always been a marvelous mother, Diana,” said Charles, who had moved on from tea and was pouring himself a whisky.

  “We both have raised two fine young men,” said Diana, as she sat on the opposite couch, pushed back against the cushions and tucked her legs underneath her.

  “I don’t want William and Harry to think I never loved you. That’s absolutely not true,” said Charles.

  “I know you loved me,” said Diana.

  “I did,” he said quietly. “I still do, in my own way.”

  Charles got up and walked over to the piano behind Diana. He picked up a silver-framed photograph of himself and the boys that had been taken when the boys were just children.

  “Diana, why did you break your engagement to Teddy?”

  “Because I saw it wasn’t going to work. We would not have made each other happy.” She twisted around to look at him.

  “But I thought you were happy with him,” Charles continued. “What changed?” He returned the frame to its place among the rows of family photographs.

  “I don’t know, really. I did, I think. I wanted to come home to England and be with my family. His life was in New York. It turned out to be just a chapter in mine.”

  “It’s funny, isn’t it? You were so sure that moving away would change everything.”

  “It nearly did. But I realized I needed to face not just what happened to me in the accident, but all the hurt and disappointment I’ve had in my life and move on, once and for all.”

  “I’m afraid I caused most of it. I made a disaster of our marriage.”

  Diana hesitated before continuing.

  “We’re both different people now,” she said. “Somehow, you’ve become one of my closest friends, Charles. I worry about you. Do you feel contented with your life?”

  “Yes, of course. Why would you ask me that?” Charles walked over to the fireplace and fixed his gaze on the flames that had nearly gone out.

  “Charles, may I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why have you not yet asked Camilla to marry you?”

  “That is a complicated question.”

  “Tell me, Charles. After all this time, I think I deserve to know.”

  “Well,” he began, as he swallowed the last of his whisky and sat back down on the couch. Charles folded his hands in his lap and looked down at them for a moment before he spoke. “At first, out of respect for you and what you were going through, we kept things very low-key. I knew people would be furious if they saw me out with Camilla while you were recovering. I also knew it would have been hurtful to you. Then, it just felt like I had to be there for you and for the boys.”

  “I’m grateful you were, Charles.”

  “Do you remember that first Christmas at Sandringham, after the accident and before you left for New York? The boys were so happy having us all together.”

  “Yes, that was a memorable Christmas,” Diana said. “It was great fun to be with you and the boys.”

  “Something had changed, and I saw you in a different light.”

  “As this poor creature whose life nearly ended and now had to leave England to start over?”

  “As a woman who had come through a terrible time and was doing her best to rebuild her life.”

  “I never wanted your pity, Charles.”

  “It wasn’t pity.”

  “What was it then?”

  “When I arrived at the hospital in Paris and saw you lying there, unconscious, not knowing if you would live or die . . . I knew I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “You didn’t lose me, Charles,” said Diana, taking his hand. “In many ways, we are closer than ever. We have a lovely friendship that I treasure.”

  “I so admire you, Diana. I am in awe sometimes at the woman you’ve become. I sometimes wish—”

  “Charles,” said Diana, catching him. “That means so much to me to hear you say that.” She was moved by her ex-husband’s genuine admission of affection. In the years that Diana had known Charles, she’d felt the full gamut of emotions toward him—infatuation, love, distrust, hate and back to love—now a familial love that she found comforting. They had been through so much, she would never have imagined they’d be close again.

  Diana walked Charles to the door. They embraced warmly, and she felt him linger for just a beat longer than usual.

  “Exciting times ahead for the young lovers,” said Diana. “For us all.”

  “Indeed,” replied Charles.

  As she walked him to his car, Diana wanted to clear the air completely on this momentous day. She found herself speaking the words she never believed she’d say. Diana leaned into the passenger-side window. “Charles, if it’s what you want, you should marry Camilla. You’ll have to wait for some time after William and Catherine’s wedding, of course, but I don’t see any reason for you to delay any longer.”

  The look of incredulity that registered on her ex-husband’s face left her struggling to suppress a fit of giggles. Diana flashed Charles a cheeky smile and said as she walked back towards the house, “Just don’t expect a wedding present from me.”

  h

  Two days later, Diana phoned William and asked him to stop by her apartment before heading to Bucklebury for the weekend. Her son arrived a few minutes after Diana had finished her breakfast.

  “Are you nervous about talking to Catherine’s father?” asked Diana, as she rose up from her chair to hug her son.

  “Her parents know how much Catherine and I love each other.”

  “I’m sure they do. Does Catherine really know what she’s about to take on?”

  “I believe she does. The past eight years have given her a lot of opportunities to get a sense of what royal life is like. She’s never complained. She’s been ther
e for me and she’s quite brilliant meeting new people.”

  William looked at his mother more intently.

  “She reminds me of you in a lot of ways,” he said.

  “Catherine is her own woman, William,” his mother replied. “One who loves you very much. And that is the most important thing.”

  “She admires you.”

  “Oh, William. . . . ”

  “No, really. She’s asked me on several occasions how I thought you’d handle certain situations.”

  “Well, I have certainly made my share of mistakes, but I’m happy to share my great wisdom with her anytime she’d like,” Diana teased as she walked over to her desk and retrieved a black velvet box from the top drawer. “And one other thing . . . ”

  “What is it?”

  “I’d like you to have this.”

  William opened the box and was stunned to see what was inside. “Your engagement ring?”

  “Yes. I have loved it so. I remember the day I picked it out. It was the biggest, most glittering ring on the tray from Garrard. It deserves to be worn by a happy bride, not be left sitting in a safe for the next fifty years. If you would like to give it to Catherine and she wishes to wear it, please accept it as a symbol of my love and support.”

  “I’m sure Catherine will love it. Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Quite sure.”

  “You’ve been the most amazing mother in the world to me and to Harry,” said William, as he stuffed the ring box into his rucksack and threw his arms around Diana. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

  March 1, 2011

  h

  Catherine had butterflies in her stomach as she approached Kensington Palace. She had of course spent time with her future mother-in-law before, but William had always been present. This lunch would be the first time she’d spend any one-on-one time with Diana. William adored his mother, and Catherine wanted to make sure she did everything she could to get on well with her. She also wanted to impress her by looking her absolute best. Catherine thought Diana was the most stylish woman she’d ever met and was thrilled when she received a lovely note from her congratulating her on the engagement and complimenting her on the elegant navy Issa dress she’d worn for the official photo call back in November. It had been Catherine’s mother’s idea for her to wear blue to coordinate with the iconic ring as Diana had done. She still couldn’t quite believe she was the recipient of the world’s most famous engagement ring. Her mother was over the moon when she’d come back from Kenya and showed her the eighteen-carat sapphire and diamond sparkler. The press, of course, did side-by-side comparisons of Catherine and William and Diana and Charles on the day both couples announced their engagements and were complimentary to the younger generation, heralding the upcoming wedding as a “true love match.”

  It occurred to Catherine that she had never seen an unflattering photograph of Diana. Looking at old newspaper clippings one afternoon at St. James’s Palace, she saw that Diana had perfected the art of paying sartorial tribute to the hosts of every country she’d ever visited. This was something Catherine wanted to emulate, and she was already carefully studying the types of choices Diana had made. She thought Diana was breathtakingly beautiful when she was young. She could not imagine how difficult it must have been for her when her face was scarred in that horrible accident. You could only see faint traces of it now. Catherine noticed Diana subtly covered what was left of the mark with light makeup when she made appearances but rarely made any attempts to hide it when she was home with her family. Catherine thought it did little to mar Diana’s beauty.

  h

  Catherine had made every effort to look as put-together as possible for today’s lunch with Diana. She’d chosen a tasteful printed silk wrap dress from Zara and her favorite LK Bennett nude pumps. That morning, the manicurist had applied a sheer white shade of polish aptly named Allure that did nothing to distract from the engagement ring, as if anything could. And her glossy chestnut hair had been freshly blown out and fell loosely over her shoulders. Catherine checked her makeup in the rearview mirror of her Audi before she got out of the car and quickly brushed on another coat of mascara and re-applied her favorite Bobbi Brown lipstick and finished with a swipe of clear lip.

  Diana opened the door herself before Catherine could ring the bell and gave her visitor a kiss on the cheek. She looked casually elegant in a lavender sheath dress and beige sling back pumps. Head-to-toe Chanel, thought Catherine. How incredibly chic. As usual, Diana was barelegged. Large pearl and diamond studs peeked out from the sides of her hair which was perfectly cut into a flattering bob. She wore a Cartier watch with a gold band on her right wrist and a delicate diamond bracelet on the other. There were no rings on her hands, and her nails were varnished in a pale shade of pink. She wore little makeup—just a few coats of black mascara and an iridescent pink lipstick.

  “How lovely you look! I’m so happy to see you. Do come in!” said Diana, as she linked arms with Catherine and walked her into the drawing room.

  “Thank you so much for inviting me to lunch,” said Catherine, perching on the edge of her armchair as the women sat across from each other.

  “I’ve been meaning to for ages,” said Diana, as she picked up her mobile phone from the table and put it on silent. “I want to hear about everything!”

  “There is so much to do planning the wedding,” said Catherine, who had tucked her purple Smythson notebook into her handbag to take notes on whatever recommendations Diana might offer.

  “How is everything going?” Diana asked, as she gestured for Catherine to walk with her into the dining room.

  “William has been massively helpful sorting out everything. Everyone has been so lovely. Prince Charles is helping with the processional music.”

  “And what about your dress?”

  “Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen is designing it. My mother, sister and I loved her the minute we met her. The sketches are brilliant.”

  “I think Sarah is the perfect choice,” said Diana. “What does it look like?”

  “It’s very classic and timeless. Long sleeves with lace on the bodice and the hem of the dress. It’s quite traditional.”

  “That’s very smart. It sounds lovely, Catherine.”

  “I’ve seen the photographs and you were such a beautiful bride.”

  “When I got married, I wanted something very romantic, and that dress was very much of the time.”

  “Did you enjoy the whole process of picking out your dress? I’ve had friends driven half-mad by it, but I enjoyed it.”

  “I loved working with David and Elizabeth Emanuel. It all had to be very cloak-and-dagger because the photographers followed me everywhere. The Emanuels would actually throw out scraps of different fabric every night to throw reporters off the scent. I found it so funny at the time. Every night, there’d be all these little white squares in the trash, but my dress was actually ivory. It was such a wrinkled mess when we got out of the carriage,” said Diana, picturing that moment. “When I saw my dress for the first time in years when we were preparing for the auction, I thought it looked like a wedding cake that had collapsed on itself—which seemed poetic, now that I think about it. How are the fittings going?”

  “I have one tomorrow. We are all so excited.”

  “You must be.”

  “Oh,” exclaimed Catherine, suddenly aghast. “We should have asked if you would like to join us.”

  “That’s something a young woman does with her mother.”

  “Please come tomorrow. You must.”

  “Catherine, I do appreciate the invitation.”

  “It would mean so much.”

  Diana smiled. “I’d love to.”

  “Thank you,” said Catherine, as she visibly exhaled.

  “It will be my pleasure. Have you given any thought to how you want to wear your hair
? I suppose it will depend on the dress.”

  “Everyone has been telling me to wear it up.”

  “You have such gorgeous hair,” Diana said. “Perhaps you should think about wearing it down.”

  “I think I want to wear it down with perhaps the front pulled back like this,” said Catherine lifting the front pieces of her hair back and over her ears.

  “Then you should do that,” Diana said with a smile. “It suits you that way.”

  When lunch was served, Diana caught a glimpse of the engagement ring on Catherine’s left hand as she unfolded her napkin. “The ring looks beautiful on you.”

  “I love it. It’s very, very special,” said Catherine as she looked down at the heirloom.

  “It’s yours now. I hope you’ll wear it for a very long time.”

  “I promise I’ll look after it.”

  “I know that all of the attention must feel completely overwhelming, and I want you to know I am here to help you in any way I can.”

  “That’s very generous of you.”

  Diana felt for Catherine, knowing that as the wife of the future king, she was embarking on a life so drastically different from everything she’d ever known. And yet, Diana knew Catherine had the resilience and determination that had enabled her to successfully navigate the tricky terrain in and around the royal family for nearly a decade. At 29, Catherine was a decade older than Diana had been when she was thrown into the deep end. Catherine and William were also close in age and had had the benefit of a long courtship, which gave them the opportunity to grow as individuals and to evolve as a couple.

  Diana looked across the table at her future daughter-in-law as she nibbled on her chilled tomato mousse with lobster. Catherine Middleton is an impressive woman, she thought. Despite today’s display of nervousness, Diana had observed that Catherine was a savvy negotiator of relationships. When William broke up with her, she had won him back in a matter of weeks by making him jealous—something Diana had tried and failed to do with Hasnat. Catherine was not needy. That was clear. Unlike Diana when she was newly engaged, Catherine possessed an innate self-confidence—no doubt, thought Diana, born out of being raised by loving and supportive parents in a stable home environment. The fact that the Middletons had worked their way up from working for British Airways to running their own successful online party supplies business showed that determination and drive ran in the family. There was tabloid gossip that Catherine’s ambitious mother had plotted to have her daughter intentionally come into William’s orbit. Diana dismissed the gossip. So what if a mother wanted the best for her daughter? What mother doesn’t?