33
Kent
If my mum witnessed my driving right now, she would call the DVLA and get them to revoke my licence.
After everything Simon did to her, Savannah let him back into her life. He was in her fucking flat. When I saw him, smirking at me in the middle of the path, I lost it.
My fist screams in pain as I clench the steering wheel. I don’t even know where I’m going. I’m driving in the opposite direction to my house. I could call Toby and Max and get them to meet me somewhere, but they would have questions.
Wherever I go, I’ll have to talk though, and I think I would rather that than go home alone. I make a left, and Toby’s house is up ahead. He’s more mature than Max, and although I know, if I want a serious conversation, I can talk to Max, too, it’s easier with Toby.
I park the car in his drive and get out. Max’s car is here, too.
Fuck’s sake.
I’m just heading up the path when Toby opens the door.
Smirking, he cranes his head over his neck and shouts into the house, “Put some clothes on, Heidi! Your brother is here.”
His face falls when he sees me approach, fists clenched and jaw tight. I guess I look as shit as I feel.
“What’s happened, dude?”
“I need a drink,” I bark.
Toby steps aside while I head into his kitchen. He has a full-height larder cupboard full of every alcoholic drink you could ever want. I scan the cupboard and grab a bottle of Southern Comfort.
“What’s going on?” Toby asks behind me while I unscrew the lid and drink straight from the bottle. “Did something happen with Savannah again?”
I’ve already had a lengthy conversation with them after I broke up with Savannah. Neither of them seems as angry with her as I am.
I turn to him, my fingers digging into the glass. “Something happened with her ex.”
“Fuck. Sit down, buddy.” Max grabs a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and three glasses even though he knows I won’t use a glass.
I sit on the brown leather sofa in the large open-plan living/kitchen area. The back of Toby’s house looks out onto a field, so he has the entire wall made of glass.
“Go on,” Toby prompts, placing the glasses on the chunky oak coffee table.
His eyes are filled with sympathy. He thinks she’s back with her ex. Not that it’s any of my business anymore, but I can’t see that happening. The dude is a snake.
“I went to her flat to see her, and he was walking out of the building just as I arrived.”
“He was? I thought she didn’t want to see him again?” Toby asks.
You’re not the only fucking one. “Me, too.”
He leans forwards. “Well, maybe she didn’t want him there. She can’t control him coming over.”
“She let him in to explain what had happened. He took great pleasure in telling me that they’d talked.”
He also said he’d spent the night, but that’s untrue. Savannah’s reaction was honest. At least I know she has it in her.
Toby nods and pours Jack Daniel’s into a glass. So far, Max has been quiet, probably because he knows this isn’t the time for jokes yet.
“So fucking what? She might have talked to him, but she loves you. Mate, you can’t blame her for wanting answers. Didn’t you say that she left without a word? So, she probably didn’t get to ask everything you would want to know in that shitty situation.”
I take a deep breath through my nose. He keeps defending her. Toby always tries to see the good in people. He was the one telling me that Freya probably wasn’t up to something right until the point where we found out she’d stolen all of my money.
“I don’t know what was going on, but I saw red. Savannah came out just as I was punching him in the face.”
Toby grins. “Nice. Let me guess what happened next. You didn’t give her a proper chance to explain his second visit either.”
“Fuck off. I didn’t come here to be judged.”
“You want to talk, man, we’ll talk, but I’m always going to be honest. You fucked up again.”
“People keep saying this shit, but how did I fuck up when she’s the one who’s been lying? And not just once. She’s been lying the entire time I’ve known her.”
“You went over there to let her explain, but instead, you let your own feelings control you.” Toby shrugs. “You’re fucking everything up.”
“Thanks again for that, dickhead.”
Max laughs. “We’re not trying to piss you off—that’s usually just a bonus—but what kind of mates would we be if we weren’t honest?”
Now, he’s vocal.
“Good ones.”
He holds his finger up. “Untrue. Right, Toby?”
Toby nods in agreement. “Untrue,” he confirms. “You ain’t ever going to get a girl like that again, so you need to think about what will happen if you let her go.”
“I don’t want another woman lying to me, so that’s fine.” In fact, from now on, I should just stay away from women altogether. Two burns, one that’s fucking gutting me, and I’m done.
My phone rings in my pocket. Max and Toby exchange a look. They want me to answer because we all know it’s going to be Savannah calling. She’s tried to get ahold of me hundreds of times since last week, but I’ve never picked up. I’m surprised she keeps calling.
And, deep down, although I hate to admit it, I love that she hasn’t given up. How sad is that?
Toby points to my ringing pocket. “Not answering?”
I take a breath. “No.”
“What’s the plan now?”
“Work.”
“Work?”
“Yeah, I run a business, and I’ve not been in the office as much recently. Now that I’m no longer distracted, I can work on expansion.”
Toby sits back in the seat. “That’s not always the answer, Kent. Savannah can’t be replaced with work.”
My chest tightens, twisting painfully until I have to breathe deeply just to get oxygen. Fuck this, I need to leave. I shove the bottle of Southern Comfort down on the sofa and stand up. “See you later.”
It’s Monday morning—nine days since Savannah and I broke up. Nine days since I found out about her betrayal and had my heart ripped to shreds.
I stare at my laptop, willing myself to do something productive.
“All right, fucker,” Max says, letting himself into my office. He sits down on the opposite side of my desk and kicks his legs up.
Both he and Toby gave me space over the weekend after I stormed out of Toby’s house on Friday, but apparently, Max is over that now.
“What do you want, Max?”
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Working. This is my company.”
“Yeah, so why are you here? You own the place; people do the work for you. Go home or go out. That’s what I’d do if I were the boss.”
Sighing, I close my laptop. “What do you want?”
“To talk about Savannah.”
“No,” I snap, balling my fists on the desk.
“Heidi told me what happened—all of it. I don’t think Savannah meant to hide anything, not for malicious reasons anyway.”
“I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Dude, you’re going to have to. She’s nothing like Freya; you’ve said so yourself. The longer you continue with this, the worse you’re going to feel. Then, you’re not going to be able to get back with her because it will have been too long, and neither of you will want to lose face. You’re going to die alone.”
“Did your parents never think to get you tested?”
He grins. “Kent, stop being a stubborn prick, and go sort this out with your girl.”
“She’s not my girl.”
“Bullshit she’s not.”
I grind my teeth. “Go away, Max.”
“Nope. Your receptionist is making me coffee. Do you know if she’s single?”
“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter, looking up to
the ceiling.
“Unless you want to go find a pub?”
“No, I want to work.” I want to be able to work.
Right now, my mind can’t focus on anything for longer than three seconds. Savannah is still everywhere. I can smell her hair and feel the softness of her skin. My head thuds back against the chair. I didn’t know pain could take on a life of its own.
“No one wants to work, man.”
“Where does your boss think you are?”
He tilts his head to the side. “My boss is my dad.”
Yeah, and his dad only continues to employ him because he’s his son. Max is good at what he does; it’s just that he rarely does it. Though I imagine, if I were his employer, I would want him out of the office as much as possible, too.
“Max, honestly, I just want to try to get something productive done.”
“Can that something productive be talking to Savannah and sorting this mess out? We both know you’re not going to be able to focus until you do.”
“I’ll focus just fine when I don’t have you talking to me.”
Mia, the receptionist, walks into my office with two coffees.
Max twists around and smiles. “Thank you, darlin’.”
Really?
She puts the mugs down.
“Thanks, Mia.”
With a nod, she retreats out of the room.
“I’m going to marry that chick.”
“She’s already married.”
Max throws his hands up in the air. “Damn it. Now, I’m sad. We should go out and make me feel better.”
My phone vibrates on the table.
Savannah.
Max lifts his eyebrow. “I think it’s time you answer the phone, Kent.”
“I think you should fuck off, Max.”
“Look, let’s get real here for a minute, shall we? I know feelings aren’t something we often discuss, but you are my guy, and I hate to see you like this. You look like shit, mate, and you’re no fun. She kept something big from you, and that sucks, but she had her reasons for that, just like you had your reasons for going all tech geek after Freya.”
“I’m not a tech geek.”
“You built a business around computer security or some software thing or some shit, so no one could be hacked the way she hacked your account. Whatever. You’re good with computers now.”
The vibrating on my phone stops.
“Call her back.” Max picks up his drink.
“Put the fucking coffee down. We’re going out,” I snap.
“Yes!” He slams the mug down, spilling coffee all over the fucking desk. “I knew you would come around.”
“Clean this up.”
“I’ll go grab a towel while you call Savannah back.”
I take a breath. I’m not going to call her back.
Max cleans up his mess, and we take our mugs into the kitchen, thankfully not passing Mia, as we didn’t drink anything.
“Which pub, buddy?” Max asks as we walk out onto the street.
“The closest one.”
“I’ll take you to the closest one that’s open at ten in the morning.”
As promised, Max takes me to a pub very local and very open. I sit down while he gets the beers. He’s going to talk about Savannah more; I know he is. Or he’s going to feed me beers until I’m drunk, and everything comes spilling out. Since talking to my parents and sisters, not long after I found out about her past, I’ve managed to not talk to anyone at all about her.
Heidi and Brooke have sent countless text messages, begging me to open up, but I don’t want to talk. I want to forget that I ever fell in love with Savannah, and I definitely want to forget that I still have her engagement ring sitting in my coat pocket.
I would take it out, but that would involve touching it.
“There you go, mate,” Max says, putting a beer in front of me.
“Thanks.” I immediately pick it up and take three long gulps.
That’s better. Getting wasted always helps, right? The more I drink, the less I remember. At least, that’s how it all worked out when Freya fucked me over. Something tells me, it’s going to take a lot more alcohol to forget Savannah.
I must be some sort of magnet for bitches looking to screw someone over. Savannah might not have stolen my money and done a runner, but she’s worse. She made me fall in love with her, see a future, want to settle down, get married, and have kids.
All along, she was hiding an entire life.
That’s much worse than being a thief.
“Are we going to sit here in silence?” Max asks.
“Yeah, sounds good to me.”
“Come on, buddy.”
I put the glass down as my fingers start to itch to launch at him. “Max, leave it.”
“You’re being stubborn and letting Freya run your emotions. Don’t give her that power. She can’t have that power. Not after everything you’ve been through and how far you’ve come. Right now, you’re only thinking of you and how you feel hurt, but look at it from Savannah’s point of view.”
I raise my eyebrow.
“Not only did her boyfriend cheat, but he also cheated with her sister, and the rest of her family blamed her for the problems they were having. She went through one of the worst things a person could go through when she lost her baby, and she had no one to help her. Everyone who was supposed to pick her up wasn’t there in the way she needed. Can you imagine how lonely she must have felt? She ran away from everything she knew because she couldn’t stay.”
He throws his hands up. “You’re too busy thinking about you that you’ve forgotten to think about her. How do you think she feels, having to talk about that again?”
Max’s words scrape against my skin like sandpaper.
I let out a breath I didn’t even realise I had been holding.
She must have felt so alone, so scared, and so betrayed. She was in too much pain to talk about her past.
Fuck, she was only nineteen, too. What the fuck is wrong with me? The thought of Savannah broken, alone, and in pain is fucking intolerable. And I’m part of her pain. I’ve hurt her, too.
“Stop letting your feelings about your ex cloud your judgment over this situation. They’re nothing alike. Freya was a gold-digging whore; Savannah’s lie was self-preservation.”
The chair scrapes along the floor as I stand up. I need to get to her.
Max leans back in his seat. “About fucking time.”
I barely hear his words because I’m heading out the door, my legs moving faster by the step.
I’ve been such a fucking idiot.
34
Kent
I turn right out the door and break into a sprint. Savannah will be at work, and Heidi’s studio isn’t far from here. I feel like I’m about to walk into the lion’s den. She has every right to be angry with me—my sister, too—but I hope she will listen.
My heart pounds as my feet hit the pavement.
Outside the studio, Heidi is talking with the postman.
When he nods and walks off, she looks up and places her hands on her hips. “What do you want?”
I plant my feet in front of her, breathing like I just ran a marathon. My lungs feel like they’re going to collapse. I’m in good shape, damn good shape, but I sprinted faster than I’d thought was humanly possible to get to my girl.
“Savannah,” I say.
“You want Savannah?”
“Yes,” I confirm.
“You’d better mean that. If you go in there and end up upsetting her, I’m going to bash your mindless head in.”
What a lovely picture she paints.
“Jesus, Heidi, violent much?”
“I mean it. She’s had enough heartache.”
“I know that.” My chest tightens as I think about what she’s been through. I just need to hold her.
“I’m going to go for coffee then,” she says, turning on her heel and stalking off.
The door to the studio suddenly lo
oks a lot bigger and a lot heavier. Walking through it will either get me everything I’ve ever wanted or leave me with nothing.
My stomach rolls with nerves as I push the door open.
I step inside.
“Heidi, we have an order of twenty Hayley T-shirts.”
I close my eyes. God, I’ve missed her.
She turns around when she gets no reply. She freezes, only her mouth parts. “Kent,” she whispers.
Her hair is tied up today, high and messy. Her eyes are glossy, like she’s not had much sleep.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she replies. “Um, Heidi isn’t here at the minute. I’m not sure where she went.”
“She’s gone to get coffee.”
Savannah blinks, realising I’m here for her and not my sister. “Is everything okay?”
I shake my head and take a tentative step closer. “No, it’s not.”
“What …” Her lips press together, as she knows what’s wrong.
“Savannah,” I say, her name rolling from my lips. I take another couple of steps, and I’m right in front of her. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly.”
Her shoulders sag. “No, it’s not your fault. I should have told you and—”
“Stop.” I reach out and brush my fingers along her jaw. My body instantly reacts at the touch. I feel myself getting hard, and my heart beats wildly as I long to wrap myself around her. “Max was right—amazingly. I wasn’t angry with you. Everything from Freya came flooding back and how I felt then. I’m sorry,” I say, leaning in and pressing my forehead to hers.
She doesn’t push me away. Her grey eyes flit closed, and she whispers, “I didn’t want to lie to you, not ever, but I had no idea how to talk about what had happened. I find it hard to relive that time. I’m sorry I was dishonest.”
Sighing, I drop my hand and hold hers. She grips me hard, curling her fingers into my palms, and looks up.
“I wouldn’t have judged you, and I wouldn’t have made you go into details you weren’t happy to discuss. I just wanted to know.”
“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, Kent. You were incredible. I’ve never been happier. I never intended to lie, but I wasn’t ready. Then, you opened up and told me all about Freya. You welcomed me into your family with open arms and made me feel special. That kind of made it harder to come clean because I was scared to lose everything. You’re perfect, and I’ve never truly felt like I deserve that because you have so much more to give.”
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