Find Her Alive

by Diane Saxon

  ‘She’s in the ambulance that’s just pulled up to the doors.’ As Jenna turned to sprint back along the corridor, the nurse called out. ‘Stay here, DS Morgan, and I’ll get someone to escort you through when they’re ready.’

  Desperate, Jenna whipped around. ‘You don’t understand. She’s my sister.’

  The nurse came to her feet and let herself out of the side door to reception. ‘I do understand.’ Her low soothing tones, and the hand on Jenna’s arm, calmed the skittering of her pulse. ‘Come through here, and as soon as she’s ready, we’ll let you through.’

  ‘Thank you. Thank you.’

  Aware of the other three following her, Jenna sank into a hard, plastic chair and glanced at the time. Mason had got them there pretty damned quick.

  She crossed one leg over the other and thumped her foot rhythmically up and down in the air, glancing at the clock again. Two whole minutes had passed, and it felt like a lifetime.

  She jumped out of her seat as the automatic door slid open and DI Taylor marched into the room. Suit immaculate. Shoes shined to a high gloss.

  ‘The ambulance has just arrived,’ she blurted. He probably already knew, but it was something for her to say.

  ‘You, DS Morgan, sit back down and stay exactly where you are.’

  She slumped back into the chair as his penetrating stare held her gaze.

  ‘I just broke the land speed record getting here so I could stop you from seeing your sister before you broke every rule in the book.’ He ranged his hawk-like stare around the room, taking in the other three. ‘I would have radio’d you, but it appears not a single one of you had the foresight to pick up Airwaves when you hauled your arses out of the station, leaving me to tie up the ends before I could leave someone in charge on the ground.’ His thick eyebrows dipped low over his eyes. ‘Do we all need to be here?’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ Mason spoke without hesitation. ‘Jenna’s here as family. I’m here as she can’t take Fliss’s statement because it would be a conflict of interest, and Ryan’s here for the experience.’

  Adrian leaned against the door frame, gaze unruffled and indolent. ‘I’m with DS Morgan.’ His tone brooked no argument.

  The line between DI Taylor’s eyebrows deepened, but he said nothing, just slipped into the chair next to Jenna’s and turned so he addressed only her. ‘We have no idea what state your sister’s in, Jenna, I’m advising you to stay here.’ At the fast shake of her head, DI Taylor leaned in close to growl in her face. ‘I bloody well know you won’t stay put.’ As she took a breath to interrupt, he pointed a finger at her. ‘I understand she’s your sister and you want to make sure she’s safe, but as a professional you know exactly what will happen if you compromise anything about this case. She is to tell you nothing.’ He stabbed his finger in the air, circled it around. ‘You are to ask her nothing.’ He thumped his thumb against his chest. ‘I will be her first point of contact until we get the team in place. A team that would have been in place had you not shot out of the station like shit off a shovel, leaving me to zip after you.’ He slapped his hand on his knee, let out a long groan. ‘I’m getting too damned old for this. I almost had a heart attack catching up with you.’

  ‘Well, at least you’re in the right place, sir.’

  Taylor turned dead eyes on Ryan. ‘You want to go back to uniform, son?’

  Ryan’s face flushed all the way through from his skinny neck poking out of his loose collar to his hairline. ‘No, sir. I mean no, DI Taylor. No, sir.’

  One side of Taylor’s mouth kicked up. ‘Learn to process your thoughts before you let them escape through your mouth. It’s an acquired skill, but one you’ll need if you ever make it through your probation and pass your promotion exams.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  Jenna slumped over to dangle her hands between her knees and flopped her head forward over them. If she could smile, she would. She always appreciated the DI’s humour, but she simply couldn’t muster up a single stroke of emotion. Everything was on hold.

  She may not be as tough as she’d always thought herself. The hollow grind in her stomach served to remind her. Every emotion she’d been put through in the last few days had stripped her and left her vulnerable. She’d been plunged into the abyss. Nerve endings scraped raw, she had no other choice but to pull herself out, inch by painful inch.

  Jenna raised her head to cast her gaze around the room at the four men staring back at her. She filled her lungs, straightened her shoulders and addressed them all. ‘I’m prepared for anything. I’ve seen just about everything there is to see in my service and my main concern is to make my sister feel safe and secure.’

  Proud of the strength of her voice, Jenna met Taylor’s stare with a direct one of her own.

  33

  Tuesday 30 October, 10:50 hrs

  Gentle female tones soothed as Fliss floated on the tranquillity of safety.

  ‘Felicity? Felicity Morgan?’

  ‘Hmmm.’ They call me Fliss, she normally told people, but she had no hope of opening her eyes or making her vocal cords work. She’d used every last molecule of energy to get over the Ironbridge with the absolute conviction the man was close behind her. Breathing down her neck.

  She tried. She really did, but her eyelids gave a brief flicker and her tongue was so dry it stuck to the roof of her mouth. That would be the drugs. And the lack of fluids she’d had over the previous god knows how many days.

  ‘Felicity.’ Cool fingers touched her cheek. ‘You’re in good hands. They’ve brought you to The Princess Royal in Telford. You’re safe now.’

  The woman was so kind. The effort might be worth it.

  ‘I know.’ The gravel in Fliss’s throat barely allowed the words to pass through. ‘I’m so tired.’

  ‘I understand, but I need you to help me, Felicity. Can you open your eyes for me?’

  Try as she might, her eyelids wouldn’t obey. ‘Mmm.’

  ‘Not to worry, Felicity.’ Soft hands took hold of hers, held on to her, grounded her. She was safe. ‘Felicity, I’m Lana Gill.’

  Lana. Lana Gill. Fliss ran the name through her mind. Was she supposed to remember it? Was it important? The thick sludge in her brain swallowed up the name and let it float away.

  ‘Felicity. I’m a forensic nurse.’

  Forensic. Did that mean she was dead?

  ‘Do you understand what that means?’

  Short of a shake of her head, she flopped it from one side to the other, aware of the crackle of the hospital pillow. She cleared her throat. She needed to speak up. Make herself understood.

  ‘It means I’m here to examine you, to help you understand what’s happened and to collect any evidence or DNA as soon as I can.’ Fliss took the words in as the nurse continued. ‘Here. Have a sip of water. But that’s all for now. Just a sip, until the doctor examines you and agrees what we need to do.’

  Fliss took two greedy pulls of water from the straw the nurse slipped between her lips.

  ‘That’s all, I’m afraid.’ Lana removed the straw from Fliss’s mouth. ‘I’m here to examine you, Felicity, and to answer any questions you might have. I’m aware you’re very sleepy, so I’ll go slowly, and we’ll stop whenever you want.’

  ‘’Kay,’ Fliss mumbled. ‘Drugged.’

  ‘Drugged?’ There was no surprise in the woman’s voice, no change to the gentle sympathy of her tone.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’m going to take your blood pressure now and do some other tests to check your status, then if you’re in agreement I’ll need to do toxicology tests on you. Blood and urine. Is that okay?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Strong, cool fingers grazed Fliss’s skin as the nurse wrapped a cuff around the upper part of her undamaged arm. As the band squeezed tighter, Fliss’s eyes shot open, panic slicing through her chest.

  ‘It’s okay. You’re safe.’ Lana gave a gentle squeeze of her fingers at the same time the cuff relaxed on her arm. The thunder of Fliss’s heart
filled her ears as she puffed out panicked breaths while her gaze centred on the cool blue gaze of the nurse. Lana.

  ‘I’m sorry. I…’

  ‘It’s okay. I understand.’

  Lana continued to hold her hand until Fliss’s breathing ratcheted down to reasonably normal.

  ‘I’ll talk you through what I’m going to do. First, we’re going to do your obs – observations. Blood pressure, we’ve done.’ She released the cuff from Fliss’s arm and slipped it off. ‘Stats.’ She raised a clip and showed it to Fliss before attaching it to her middle finger. As she took hold of Fliss’s wrist, Lana glanced at her watch. Her slow, even breathing calmed Fliss as she stared at the woman.

  She was safe. He might still be out there, but right now she was safe.

  The swift surge of energy drained just as quickly from her and Fliss rolled her head on the pillow to stare through heavy lids out of the window while Lana continued with her obs.

  ‘Here.’ Lana held out the glass of water with a straw poking out of the top. ‘Have another sip of water. I think it did you good. You seem a little more alert.’

  Fliss sipped at the water, then grimaced as Lana took it away all too soon. She pushed her voice out, aware of the heavy slur. ‘The cuff – it squeezed.’ She dragged in a breath. ‘Too much.’

  Lana touched her arm, her face a mask of serenity. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘You didn’t. He did.’

  ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

  Barely able to move her head, Fliss gave it a slow roll on the pillow. ‘He didn’t rape me.’ At Lana’s encouraging nod, Fliss continued. Her lips wobbled with the effort of speaking. ‘I may be wrong.’

  ‘We can check. Would you like me to check?’

  Fliss inhaled. She didn’t want Lana to check but understood the necessity. She let go of the fear that held her rigid. ‘I’m on my period. It disgusted him.’ The memory of his harsh intake of breath flashed through her mind.

  Lana simply nodded, her quiet presence a gentle reassurance.

  ‘Do the tests.’ She was sure she’d know, that there’d be some sign, but she’d rather know for definite and this was the only opportunity to find out, once that narrow margin of time had passed, the evidence would be gone for good.

  ‘Right.’ Lana shot her a compassionate smile as she removed the clip from her finger and noted down the results. ‘First, though, we need to get your clothes off, bagged and tagged for evidence.’ Lana came to her feet, removed the nitrile gloves she was wearing, dumped them in a bin and pulled on a new, fresh pair. She reached over and picked up a sickly-looking green gown and placed it on the chair she’d been sitting on. ‘Would you like to take your clothes off yourself, or should I help you?’ Lana flicked open a large plastic bag and looped the top over a trolley.

  ‘I think I can manage.’ Fliss pulled herself upright, every muscle in her stomach protesting. Her arms screamed in agony as she struggled to yank a pullover the cyclist had covered her with up her body, but gentle helping hands reached out to assist, persuading the item off over her head.

  Exhausted, she flopped back against her pillows, aware of the soft puff of air they let out as they deflated under her weight.

  ‘Rest a moment,’ Lana murmured as she stuffed the item of clothing into the open bag. As she turned, she picked up the ugly green gown, opened it up and rolled it until the neck hole showed. She offered it.

  Fliss took a moment to gather her strength before she leaned in and allowed Lana to slip it over her head. The clean, clinical scent wafted over Fliss to underpin the safety she felt.

  Lana placed her hand on Fliss’s back. ‘We’ll slip your bra off before you put your arms through.’ Lana slipped the bra into the first bag. ‘I have paper knickers for you.’ She flicked a pair loose and Fliss stared in horror at them. Lana chuckled. ‘I know, they’re more like a bloody nappy, and one size fits all.’ Lana touched Fliss’s arm.

  Fliss shrugged. ‘He made me wear a nappy. As good as. He said I was incontinent.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound nice. I’ll take this blanket.’

  ‘It’s his. I took it from the bed.’

  Lana tugged the ends from underneath Fliss’s bottom and thighs and slipped the blanket from her, her gaze skimming over the incontinence panties. She rolled her lips inwards. ‘I’m sorry, perhaps my nappy remarks were inappropriate.’

  ‘No.’ Fliss closed her eyes, black clouds swarmed in to blot out her vision.

  Her hearing the only sense still functioning, she listened while Lana carried on with her job and gently removed the incontinence panties from Fliss’s body. The hushed rustle of plastic bags and shuffle of Lana’s shoes the only noise in the room.

  Aware of the total silence now, Fliss forced her eyes open. Lana sat in the chair next to the hospital bed, her slow, steady hand writing up her notes. She raised her head and offered a gentle smile as she caught Fliss’s stare.

  ‘Do you need any sanitary products?’

  As fire blossomed over her chest and spread up her neck to flame over her face, Fliss swallowed hard. ‘Yes. No. I don’t know. I may have finished.’ She stared down her body, opened her thighs and screwed her eyes shut at the sight of smeared blood. ‘Yes. I guess so.’

  Unruffled, Lana handed her a sanitary towel. ‘I’m sorry, but no tampons until we finish the tests.’

  Humiliation scalded Fliss’s cheeks while the nurse started her step-by-step examination of Fliss’s body, taking swabs, examining cuts, marks, bruises and noting them all down in her file. Despite Lana’s absolute discretion and compassion, Fliss lay in mortification until the nurse was almost done.

  ‘I need to take some bloods now. Are you ready?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Fliss turned her head away as Lana searched for a decent vein. ‘I’m going to take the one on the back of your hand. You’re quite dehydrated, so when I’ve done this, I’m going to get a line in and rehydrate you.’

  ‘Right.’

  At the touch of the needle to her flesh, Fliss flinched and whipped her hand away.

  ‘I’m sorry. The man… he…’ Fliss tucked her knees up to her chest and rocked.

  The rational part of her mind soothed her, but her pulse rate bumped up.

  ‘Felicity. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this now.’ Lana touched her shoulder and Fliss swallowed.

  Relax. You can do this. She sighed out. Relax.

  ‘We do need to do it, don’t we?’

  Lana smiled and nodded. ‘We do, Felicity, because we need the toxicology and because you’re dehydrated so we need a line in. But if you can’t, I understand. I can wait.’

  ‘The longer you wait, the less of the drug will be in my system though?’

  ‘Yes, and the more dehydrated you’ll become. I’m going to use a cannula.’ Lana picked up a small, plastic tube with a tiny valve on the end to show her. ‘And I’ll use this spray to numb the area first. Okay?’

  ‘Okay. Let’s do it.’ Fliss unfurled herself and offered her hand to Lana.

  ‘You don’t have to look.’

  ‘I think I do. When I closed my eyes before, it made it worse. Perhaps we’ll talk. Or… or I could sing, not that I’m good at singing, but I could sing.’ She was rambling, but her tongue took control from her empty brain.

  ‘You can sing if you wish.’

  ‘What though, what can I sing?’

  Lana held her hand as she waited for Fliss to begin.

  Fliss turned her head to stare out of the window as weak rays of sunlight broke through the thick black clouds. For no reason she could think of, other than the regular assemblies she attended, Fliss began to sing ‘Morning has broken’. She angled her head and gave Lana a nod.

  Quicker than she thought possible, Lana had the cannula in the back of her hand, three phials of blood taken and a line in with saline washing into her veins.

  Exhausted, Fliss slid down the bed, her body melting across the mattress unti
l she was liquid wax. ‘I’m done.’ She closed her eyes and drifted, letting the sound of Lana’s movements wash over her.

  34

  Tuesday 30 October, 12:25 hrs

  She may have thought she was prepared, she certainly knew the process, but Jenna’s heart hammered so hard she thought it might burst from her chest.

  The sight of her little sister flat out, her skin as white as the sheets tucked under her arms, her hair a ball of manic frizz, made a liar of Jenna. Something gave way inside and her knees turned to water. She hated that she was going to cry. A ball of fear and anger burned in her chest. She wanted to be strong for her little sister. She needed to be the super-bitch she’d become in order to survive the job. Cold, logical.

  She ran her gaze over her younger sister and every ounce of super-bitch deserted her. Fliss’s beautiful face was a fragile mess. Despite the clean-up, blood still caked her nostrils, the break in her nose gave it a twist to the left and black encircled her eyes, slipping down to her cheeks in an olive and mustard smudge.

  It wasn’t possible to remain detached. Jenna’s heart hammered in her chest until it threatened to explode. Who did this to Fliss?

  She covered her mouth with both hands to keep in the sobs, no longer caring if she was being watched. As Fliss lay asleep, Jenna cruised her gaze over her, checking every scrape and bump. She’d never seen anything like this, because it had never been her own sister in a hospital bed before. Grazes and deep scratches marred the beauty of Fliss’s skin, bright crimson stark against the alabaster of her cheeks.

  Confused, she stared at the plaster cast on Fliss’s arm. Where had it come from? She’d been ages with the forensic nurse, a lifetime, it seemed, but there’s no way the hospital had put a cast on her sister in that time.

  Despite the agony, Jenna’s enquiring mind fired up. Where the hell had Fliss been?

  Fliss turned dull eyes on her, but she still raised her good arm for Jenna to lean into.

  The sweet cloying smell of mint and thyme clung to her sister, but nothing could make Jenna let go of her death-like grip on her.