The Fire Still Burns

by Crystal-Rain Love

  “I can't be with you anymore, Adam. I've been with Cal. I'm so sorry but…I did cheat on you.”

  She turned and ran back inside the house, not that it would have mattered if she'd stayed outside. Adam couldn't talk. He could barely even breathe.

  He'd spent the next several weeks in his room, barely eating or sleeping as cruel images invaded his mind. He couldn't quit picturing the scene Zeke had walked in on, and he couldn't stop wondering how long the two back-stabbers he'd trusted had been betraying him.

  She'd said she'd been with him. She'd slept with him, another man. His supposed best friend. She'd called once during that time, asking him to let her explain but he'd cut her off, calling her words that would make his mother faint and telling her in no uncertain terms that nothing she could say would change what she did.

  She'd never attempted to call back.

  Eventually, depression gave way to rage. Someone had to pay for the damage done to his heart. He'd decided his former best friend would be the one to pay and, for, the first time in weeks, he got out of bed, showered and dressed, leaving the house intent on one objective—to beat the living hell out of Calvin Wylie.

  “Let's see how much Brynn wants him when he's in a body bag,” he'd said to himself as he'd jumped into his truck and sped to Cal's home, defying every speed limit he encountered on the way.

  He'd found Cal's father sitting on the porch steps chugging a beer. “If you're coming to beat the hell out of my son, you're too late,” the older man had said, not bothering to get up. “Can't say I blame you for wanting to, but he's already left town with her. Seems he knocked her up.”

  “What?” Adam froze in his tracks.

  “Brynn. He knocked her up, son.” Mr. Wylie looked at him with pity in his eyes. “He's gonna marry her and they'll live in California. I'm sorry. I know you two were good friends and you loved that girl.”

  “No.” Adam backed away, shaking his head vigorously before turning to run.

  He didn't even bother taking the truck. He'd ran until his legs couldn't take it any more and fell to his knees in the middle of Lover's Loop, where he'd spent countless nights fogging up the windows of his truck with Brynn, and he roared.

  There was so much anger inside him, he didn't think he'd ever get it out. But more than that, there was pain and it only increased the more he recalled his final contact with Brynn, the way she wouldn't even meet his gaze, looking away as she told him she'd cheated on him with…

  “Adam! What in the world is wrong with you, boy?” Doris Good's screeching voice cut through the fog, bringing Adam back to the present where he was holding an empty carton of orange juice over a flooding-over glass. Juice ran over the side of the counter, sloshing onto the floor.

  “Look what you've done.” Doris’s voice was a screech.

  “She was looking toward her left,” he said to himself.

  “What? Who was…oh, for goodness sakes, let me get the mop.” Doris griped the entire way to the utility room, but Adam was barely paying attention as he replayed the scene over and over in his mind. Brynn had looked to the left when she'd told him about her and Cal. If her theory was correct…

  “That means she was lying about it.”

  “Lying about what?” Doris returned with the mop. “Have you lost your mind in here talking to yourself and pouring out a full carton of juice? Well, I suppose that would explain things,” she snapped as she worked at cleaning up the mess.

  “Imagine my surprise when Mildred Boone called to tell me Nellie Barton had wised up and gone up to Tasty Burger to shoot that floozy her husband's been messing around with, and you and that woman ran in there together. I heard it was quite emotional, you wiping away her tears and all.”

  Adam looked at his mother, standing with one hand on an ample hip in her plaid nightgown and rollers in her hair, and shook his head. He wasn't going to argue with her if he could help it.

  “She's my partner,” he said flatly as he took a dishtowel from the sink and started wiping down the mess on the counter.

  “That doesn't explain what I was told happened there tonight. You're letting that hussy make a fool of you again.”

  “She's not a hussy.” Adam tossed the soiled dishtowel into the sink and took a gulp from the glass of juice he'd poured, wishing more than ever it was something stronger.

  “She and her little bastard child are no good for you, Adam.”

  “How is her child a bastard? He has a father.”

  Doris gasped and grabbed hold of the counter's edge, her free hand clutched over her chest. “What are you talking about? What do you mean?”

  “Cal fathered her child,” Adam answered, wondering why his mother needed further clarification on such a basic statement. “Mama? You all right?”

  She nodded two times in quick succession, her eyes squeezed closed. “Yes, I'm fine. I just got a little winded there for a second.” She blew out a breath and straightened to look him in the eye. “You mark my words, son. That woman is nothing but trouble. You stay away from her.”

  “I can't. She's my partner.”

  “Do you really think she gives a hoot about finding out who killed your brother?”

  Adam squinted at his mother, shocked by the vehemence in her tone. “Why wouldn't she? It's not like Zeke ever did anything to her.”

  Doris's face paled, and she grabbed the glass of juice from Adam's hand, downing it in two big gulps. “That's right, but she can't be trusted. She's no good, that one.”

  “Please, Mama. We broke up a decade ago. I've gotten over it. So should you.”

  “You just do as I say,” Doris snapped and pointed her finger at him. “That woman is a sinful little slut who spreads like butter—”

  “Wow, now there's a Christian thing to say,” Adam cut in, driven by his rising anger. “Do you speak to Father Tom with that same vulgar mouth?”

  Doris drew back, slack-jawed and eyes wide with fury. “Why, you ungrateful…” She slapped Adam across the face.

  “I was in labor with you for thirty-six hours, nearly died giving birth to you. I changed your diapers, fed you, clothed you, and this is how you repay me? You show some whore more respect than you show me?” The rant continued with an extended list of other seething comments, but Adam ignored them along with the pain exploding across his cheek.

  Pushing past his hysterical mother, he made his way to his bedroom and packed a duffel bag full of clothes and toiletries. Doris Good still ranted and raved when he returned to the kitchen, adding an assortment of bible scriptures to her tirade. She froze when she saw Adam with the bag.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I've stayed here all my life to take care of you, fulfilling the promise I made to Dad,” he walked past her. “I can't do it anymore. I'm a grown man, Mama, and I need to live on my own.”

  “You're leaving me?” Her eyes grew round as saucers.

  “I'll make sure the grass is cut and the bills are paid,” he said curtly, reaching for the door.

  “No!” Doris grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. “I'll be all alone. You can't do this to… You're going to her, aren't you?”

  “Good night, mother.”

  “You're leaving me for that tramp, that cheap slut who already hurt you once!”

  “I'm not leaving you,” Adam said in exasperation. “For chrissakes, listen to yourself. You sound like a jilted lover.”

  “If you leave me for her…”

  Adam shrugged off his mother and walked out the door, leaving the only place he'd ever called home behind. He had no idea where he was going, but it had to be a better place to think than the insane asylum which used to be home. And he definitely had a lot to think about. Starting with why Brynn lied about cheating on him with Cal.

  ~~~

  “Are you awake?”

  Brynn grinned at the hesitant tone in Adam's voice as it flowed through her cell phone.

  “Either that or I'm sleep-talking.” She reminisced
about the many late-night phone calls they used to share when they were dating. She'd call for the time and temperature and while the automated voice gave her the info Adam would beep in on the other line. They never got caught doing it and their conversations would often last most of the night.

  “I wasn't going to call, I know it's late.”

  “It's fine. I'm reading Rachel Wood's diary.”

  “Find anything interesting?” he asked after an awkward pause.

  “Not yet. I'm starting from the beginning. I haven't reached anything about Zeke yet.”

  “Oh. All right.”

  “What's wrong, Adam?” She closed the diary.

  “Nothing. Why do you ask?”

  “You wouldn't be calling me up in the middle of the night beating around the bush unless something was wrong. What happened?”

  There was another long pause followed by a deep sigh. “I've got a lot of questions and no answers.”

  A ball of dread formed in Brynn's belly. “I know this case seems—”

  “I'm not talking about the case, Brynn. I'm talking about you and me.”

  Brynn's palms started to sweat and she nearly dropped the phone, the ball of dread rolling over and over inside her.

  “Brynn?”

  “I'm still here.” Nervous as hell, she added silently.

  “I have hundreds of questions, but there's one that…it's eating me alive, Brynn. I need an answer.”

  “What is it?” she asked, her hands shaking.

  “Do you still love me?”

  Brynn gasped. She'd been expecting another interrogation into the awful event that had nearly destroyed them both over a decade ago, not such a straight-forward question about her current feelings. What could she say? Where would this lead if she answered truthfully? If she lied or glossed over the issue?

  “I still love you, Brynn. I wasn't going to let you know. I wasn't going to let you know how badly I was hurt when you left me, how many sleepless nights I suffered through, how I didn't want to even get out of bed.”

  “Adam, please…”

  “I can't do it. I can't deny what I feel. I love you. Do you love me? Did you love me?”

  “Adam…”

  “If you don't, I'll accept it. I know you don't want to stay here. I know you're going to leave me again. I just need to know if—”

  “I love you,” Brynn blurted as tears inched down the sides of her face.

  Her heart ached from his pain-filled confession, how much it must have cost him. “I've always loved you, but that doesn't matter now. It's not going to change anything.”

  Because I love you I can’t tell you what happened to me. It’ll hang over us like a dark cloud. And you can never meet my son. You’ll never forgive yourself for not being there.

  “It changes everything,” he said, his tone ominous. “Get some rest. We'll talk more tomorrow. I just had to get that question answered before I could sleep.”

  “Adam—”

  “Good night, sweetheart. We have a lot to talk about tomorrow.”

  Brynn held the phone long after the line had been disconnected, resting her weary head against her headboard as she gazed at the foot of the bed, where Nate had fallen asleep earlier. “What have I just done?”

  Chapter Eleven

  Brynn closed Rachel Wood's diary with a heartfelt sigh of regret and looked toward her bedroom window, noting the light shades of dawn coloring the sky. Another sleepless night had come and gone.

  “At least I got some work done,” she murmured to herself and placed the diary beside her on the bed. She'd read through the entire book, desperate to keep her mind busy, to keep it from wondering about Adam and his late night call.

  For all the good it did. Now, she had to worry about how Adam would take the news his brother had been the equivalent of a drug-pushing pimp.

  Nathaniel stirred at her feet, mumbled a few incoherent words and rolled to his side, looking like an angel in sleep. Brynn gently stroked his blond hair back from his brow and wished she could tell the boy the truth about his paternity. Wishing she could tell everyone the truth. Unfortunately, the truth would hurt everyone—her son most of all.

  She slowly eased herself off the bed and quietly rummaged through her dresser for clothes. A new day had begun, it was too late for sleep now, but she didn't want to deprive her son of a few extra winks. He'd been deprived of so much already.

  After a light breakfast of toast and coffee, Brynn's first stop was to the sheriff's department where she checked on the status of Nellie Barton. Fortunately, the woman hadn't killed her husband. She had given him a concussion courtesy of a frying pan, though, so she was still in a holding cell.

  Either way, Brynn doubted she would get paid. She could take the proper legal steps to collect what she was owed but decided against it. Nellie Barton had deep troubles, squabbling over a bill seemed petty.

  Brynn would just have to stay in Black Bear Gorge a little longer. The thought caused her stomach to do a little flip-flop, and she quickly frowned in response.

  You don't belong here anymore, she reminded herself. You should not be the least bit excited to spend more time with Adam. Especially when the more time you spend with him, the harder it will be to keep your secrets.

  Secrets which could destroy him as they have already destroyed you.

  With the bitter reminder of why she had to get out of town as soon as possible forefront in her mind, Brynn stepped out of the sheriff's department and walked toward her car. Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she groaned when she saw the name displayed on Caller ID. Adam.

  Good night, sweetheart. She heard the words he’d said the night before clearly in her head. We have a lot to talk about tomorrow.

  “Not right now, we don't,” she grumbled, despising the fear she heard in her voice as she re-pocketed the phone. Why had she told him she still loved him?

  It was like teasing a baby with a toy, then, quickly, snatching it out of his grasp. She and Adam could never rekindle their relationship, not as long as she had Nathaniel. Her mother was right. One look at the boy and Adam would realize Nate was his own flesh and blood. He would hate her for what she'd done.

  Even worse, so would Nathaniel.

  “Well, my goodness, if it isn't Black Bear Gorge's original good girl gone bad.”

  Brynn tensed at the familiar sound of her high school rival's nauseatingly sweet voice. Turning slowly, her hands instinctively clutched into fists. One of the women she most dreaded seeing upon her return home approached her.

  Stacy Willinger had tried her best to steal Adam away from her in high school, and, from the sneer spreading across the woman's pink glossed lips, she knew the rivalry was still going strong. The woman had probably done cartwheels when she'd found out about Brynn leaving town with Adam's friend all those years ago.

  “Stacy.”

  “Mrs. Wylie,” the platinum blond stopped before her. She wore a white low-cut ribbed top and a denim mini-skirt with high-heeled sandals. She still looked like the perfect Playboy cover girl.

  “It's Harlow,” Brynn corrected her, although she figured the woman already knew her name.

  Stacy Willinger was just a first class bitch, always looking for a way to irritate Brynn and anyone else who stood in the way of something or someone she wanted.

  “Ah, that's right. My mistake.” Stacy smiled sweetly, running a perfectly manicured hand through her long tresses. “I still can't believe you had the nerve to come back here after what you did. I didn't think you'd have the guts.”

  “Say what you want about me, Stacy, but my bedpost doesn't have an eighth of the amount of notches on it that yours does,” Brynn replied calmly and refused to let the woman provoke her.

  Stacy had been Zeke's girlfriend, but she'd only dated him to gain access to Adam, and, as if that behavior wasn't bad enough, she was known to sleep with other men to make Zeke jealous.

  Instead of taking the insult for what it was, Stacy smiled proudly a
s though she'd been complimented. “You speak the truth, Brynn, but you see, the difference between you and I is that I don't hide what I am, and I'm not ashamed to give into my needs. If I want a man, I get him, and do whatever I want to do with him.”

  “Is there a point to this conversation, Stacy?” Brynn pretended to study her stubby nails. “I've got a busy day ahead of me.”

  “Trying to get back into Adam's good graces.”

  Brynn laughed, unable to stop herself, and looked at the pathetic woman. “Are you seriously still competing with me for Adam's attention after all these years? High school ended years ago. It's time to move on.”

  “Oh, I've already received Adam's attention,” the voluptuous blond said slyly, “his undivided attention.”

  Brynn's blood grew cold in her veins as horrible images of Stacy and Adam infiltrated her mind. “What are you talking about?”

  “I had him,” Stacy clarified, allowing herself a moment to laugh in victory. “You left town and he came running to me, giving in to his desire once and for all.”

  “Liar.” Brynn’s heart raced, a red haze blew through her mind. It couldn’t be true.

  “Oh, please, Brynn. Do you really think he wanted someone like you over someone like me? Someone who knows how to pleasure a man. He didn't want to hurt you, so he denied his own needs. Once he realized what a lying, little conniving bitch you were, he came to his senses and made a beeline for me. I just wanted to thank you for leaving and letting the man finally get the pleasure he deserved.”

  Stacy laughed again, then turned and left Brynn standing in the parking lot struggling to fight back both tears and bile. If there were any one woman in the world that she never wanted Adam to be with it would be Stacy Willinger, and he damn well knew it.

  But he’d run straight to her, knowing how it would make her feel. Gritting her teeth together, resisting the urge to cry, Brynn jerked open her car door and slid behind the wheel, thankful she didn’t have access to a shotgun. At the moment, she understood Nellie Barton a little too well.