The Tour

by Shelby Rebecca

  “So, is your sister a vegetarian, too,” Vivian asks.

  “No,” I say, trying not to trip over the long chiffon as I walk. I don’t want to talk to her. For some reason she gives me the icks all over my skin. When I feel Kolton’s hand come up to the small of my back, I’m able to take a breath.

  The dining room is large with a heavy wood table surrounded by tall-backed tufted chairs. A huge chandelier looms over the table, its crystals shining in my eyes, blinding me from the truth. I’m mindful of my naked breasts as I sit down, and Kolton pushes in my chair. I hold myself in my dress and watch him walk around with his back too stiff and sit across from me. Riley and Deloris sit next to me.

  From across the table, Kolton looks relieved when I’m uneasy and it bothers me. We are served by two other women. They are really young, probably my age, so I know they’re not the one, either. They wouldn’t have worked here long enough.

  “We had our cook make you a Portobello mushroom,” Vivien says. “Do you like those?”

  “Yes. Thank you,” I say, and my plate is set down. When I look up, something happens between Vivien and Kolton. A silent, face-only message was sent. He didn’t seem happy about it and his eyes dart to mine then away. When I don’t look away, his settle back on mine. He tries to smile, but he knows it’s too late.

  “Did you used to cook, Vivien?” I ask.

  “I’m sorry?” she tries, taking a sip of her white wine.

  “I know I’m not much of a religious man,” Tedd stops me from inquiring further. “But I’d like to say grace.”

  “Sure, sure,” Kolton says, slapping his hands together, his long fingers pointed up in mock prayer. Vivien bows her head. As I watch her, she keeps her eyes on Kolton a little too long before closing them.

  “Dear God,” Tedd starts. I don’t close my eyes. I hear the prayer, and I make one of my own. Please don’t let Kolton lie to me anymore. Don’t allow me to be tainted, to think walking in here naked and uncomfortable, just because he needs me to, is fair, or is what I deserve, because I don’t. And please help me find out the truth about what happened that night without making me break my promise.

  As the room says, “Amen,” my shaking hand picks up the fork and the knife. I cut myself a small bite of the juicy mushroom. My knife squeaks against the shiny plate. I slouch for the first time all evening and Kolton’s eyes dart to my nearly exposed breasts.

  Right now, I can’t be strong for him. I resent him. I resent his pain, even though it’s similar to my own, because he hurts me with it.

  I say nothing throughout dinner. Tedd makes a few jokes that Vivien laughs a little too loud about. After the last one, Deloris whispers to Riley and they laugh.

  “What’s so funny, Riles?” Kolton asks.

  “Deloris said a duck joke.” she giggles.

  “What kind of duck joke?” I ask. Their conversation must be the best one at the table.

  “What do you call two ducks and a cow?” Deloris asks.

  “Hmmmm?” Tedd says.

  “A farm?” Devon guesses.

  “Nope. Quackers and milk!” Riley says, and laughs.

  When I look up, Kolton is smiling, chowing down on the turkey and ham. He still looks uncomfortable, but it’s good to know Riley and Deloris can help us break the ice. “That’s a good one, Riles,” I say. After we’re served pumpkin pie with some whipped cream, Riley asks to go to the bathroom, so I push my chair out. “I’ll be right back. I’ll go show you, Riles.”

  But instead of walking back toward the hallway, I walk Riley toward the kitchen. Vivien calls out to me. “Do you need something from the kitchen? Irene!” she calls to one of the women who’ve been serving the food. My dress gets in the way as I walk, so I pick it up in front and walk into the kitchen.

  “Irene?” I ask the young lady with the long black hair.

  “Yes? Can I help you?” she asks.

  “Is there a bathroom here?”

  “Yes,” she says. “Behind that wall.” Riley runs back there by herself, and I wait in the kitchen.

  I tap the tip of my toe on the wood floor. “Um, what’s the other lady’s name? The shorter lady?” I don’t want to say older.

  “Norma?” she asks.

  “Yes, Norma. Is she, like, a house keeper? Or…”

  “She is. We both are.” The puzzled look on her face is making me feel bad for her. She seems uncomfortable I’m in here.

  “How long has she worked here?”

  “I don’t know. Ten years, maybe more.” Just then, Norma walks into the room.

  “Can I help you, miss?” she asks, abruptly.

  “No. We just got turned around and Irene let us use the bathroom behind the wall.”

  “Oh, no problem. Do you want some coffee while you’re here?” she asks. She’s probably in her fifties. Her face is lined.

  “Please. Have you worked here long?” I ask as if it’s the last thing on my mind.

  “Yes. Yes, I have,” she says. “I’ve worked here so long. Watched Kolton grow up; he was such a nice boy when he was little. Still a nice boy.”

  “Have you always had help? Like there’s two of you all the time?”

  She stops, as she’s pouring the coffee. Her back is toward me, and she stiffens. “Oh,” she says, turning toward me. “Have a seat.”

  “Did Kolton tell you?” she asks, all a whisper.

  “Yes,” I tell her, but I don’t know if I should be upset. I’m trembling all over from nerves.

  “Miss Vivien. She was the housekeeper with me, about five years after I started here.”

  “What?” I have to take a breath. “Vivien was the housekeeper?” It all makes sense. Beautiful housekeeper becomes beautiful wife. And she’s the one. I know it. I’ve known it all night.

  “But, you said you knew,” Norma says, guiltily. “Oh. No. I shouldn’t have said a word.”

  “He told me. Just in a different way—and I got confused. Don’t worry. Okay,” I say, as Riley comes out of the bathroom. “Ready, Riles?” I ask. “Should I put this in the sink? Or can I bring it with me?”

  “Leave it right there, miss,” Norma says. Her face is red, and a little smattering of sweat has formed above her lip.

  “I already knew. You’re not in trouble,” I reassure her. I smile, and then wait for her to smile back before I take my coffee cup to the sink and then put it in the dishwasher. “Top rack okay?”

  “Yes. Thank you,” she says, and pats her apron, not looking me in the eye.

  I nod, take Riley’s hand, and walk back toward the dining room. At the end of the hallway, Kolton is waiting for me. The perfectness of the silhouette of his broad shoulders leading down to his hands tucked into his pants pockets, catches me off guard. I trip a little on my dress, but he doesn’t see. I put my hand up to hold my breasts into the gown and he turns, gazes at my hand, and smiles that particular smile that makes my stomach drop and my eyes glaze over. He’s my drug of choice.

  “Come on. I have something to give you,” he says, taking mine and Riley’s hands. We walk toward the living room we were in earlier, and he sets me down on the couch with Riley next to me. Vivien and Tedd enter the room laughing about something. I feel my lip curl at her, but she doesn’t notice. He walks over to the tree and claps his hands together once to get all of our attention.

  “Would you like a sweater, hon?” Vivien purrs, ignoring Kolton as she looks down at my exposed skin.

  “She’s fine,” Kolton says.

  “What does she say?” Vivien asks, raising one eyebrow toward me.

  “I wore it for him,” I clarify, my eyes closing in on her. “And I am fine.” Defiant. Fucking bitch. Kolton clears his throat.

  “I brought some Christmas presents,” he says, ignoring the sweater issue. “First is Riley’s.” He bends down near the tree and hands her a small blue box.

  Her eyes light up. “Thank you,” she beams.

  “Well, open it,” he urges. She rips open the paper. It’s a Ti
ffany’s box. Isn’t that place really expensive? She opens the top to reveal a black cloth bracelet with a silver open heart. He helps her take it out, wraps it around her wrist, and pulls the silver metal piece through the heart to secure it.

  “The bracelet itself is silk,” he says. “But if you’d rather have the silver one—”

  “I like this better. It’s not too girlie but pretty,” she says, as she admires the way the silver heart dangles just below her wrist. “Thank you, Kolton,” she breathes, and hugs his waist. I watch him patting her back so gently and realize we were a two-for-one deal. To date me, he had to take responsibility for Riley, too. He’s always done so with no questions asked. I feel a lump form in my throat and my top lip starts to quiver. I worry for a moment, what she’d do if Kolton and I broke up. It would break her heart, too. It hurts to think that way. I force myself to stop and enjoy the moment.

  “It’s beautiful, Riles.” I take her hand to admire her present, and my voice cracks a little. Kolton looks at me, then, so aware of my feelings. He always is.

  I watch as he hands out presents to everyone with a bounce in his step. He gives Deloris a Tiffany necklace with a heart just like Riley’s except it has the silver chain. She nearly faints, and runs over to the mirror to admire herself. He gives Devon and Manny black Tiffany’s men’s watches. Both of them laugh out loud, patting each other on the back, and both put them on before doing a fist bump, while thanking Kolton.

  Tedd opens cuff links that look like golden knots. He rubs the nub on his throat, as if he’s genuinely moved. They must cost a fortune, being from Tiffany.

  He then gives Vivien hers, which turns out to be a crystal decanter with a crystal stopper. She doesn’t look enthused by it as she thanks him and sets it aside, and he doesn’t spend long watching her probable silent wish for heart jewelry, too. Fucking sick bitch.

  “I’ve saved the best for last,” he declares, handing me a large blue wrapped box with a white ribbon. It’s heavy as he sets it on my lap and I look up at him, feeling my eyelashes flutter. He nods expectantly toward the box, so I pull on the end of the ribbon, and feel the energy in the room as I pull the tape off one side at a time. My hands are shaking.

  When I take off the paper, I see a blue leather jewelry box printed with the Tiffany logo.

  “Turn the key,” he says anxiously, sitting down in the chair next to me as I sit on the couch, trembling. I’ve never had something worth this much money on my lap before. I feel dizzy, unworthy.

  I slowly reach for the key, turn it to the right until I feel a click, and lift the top. Inside there are boxes for jewelry, and in one of them, there is another key. Silver with diamonds all over the front. Then I notice the chain through the loop in the top. It’s a necklace, I think. I pick it up, and it’s both heavy and light at the same time. I hear noises and everyone gasps. I’m shaking. I’m breathing too fast. A tear falls down my cheek and I can’t say a word. I almost can’t move.

  I look up at Kolton. He’s smiling and biting his bottom lip. He looks proud. It makes me giggle out nervous energy. “Do you like it?” he asks. All I can do is nod. I have to close my eyes for a moment, overwhelmed.

  There are blue gems embedded in the key in all the right places to make it look like a dragonfly, and it’s so intricate and probably cost more than some small cities—there are at least sixty diamonds. “It’s…” I start to say, but can’t finish. I want to study its lines. I want to put it on. I start to fumble with the clasp and he stands.

  “Let me,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, as he moves the jewelry box, placing it on the coffee table. He takes my hand and lifts me to my feet. “Take your hair to the side, love,” he says, and I sweep my loose curls over my shoulder and turn so that he’s behind me.

  After his arms sweep over me, the key lies on my chest, just there on my bare skin between my cleavage. It’s a little cold at first, but I feel my skin starting to warm the silver immediately. His fingers there at the nape of my neck, tickle and tease without even trying. He leans down and whispers, “I told you, I’d have you here. This is what I meant. This is our place now.”

  I turn to face him, a furrow in my brow. “What does it mean? The key to your heart?”

  “No. You’re the key, Mia. The key to a whole new life for me. I only wish I could be the same for you.” I look around, and they’re all opening other presents.

  “Kole… you know you are. Without you I wouldn’t have made it on the show,” I say acknowledging the fact that he’d asked the producers of The Stage to contact me after watching my YouTube Channel. “But, more than that. I … I love you. I’m—” I try but my answer sounds selfish, and I want to smack myself for not being more open with my feelings. I’m not used to it. I’ve guarded my feelings so much ever since my parents died in the fire.

  “I know exactly what you mean, Mia. I do. I want you. I want to be partners in life, in our business. I don’t want to be your boss. Just think about it. When you’re on tour, think about it.”

  “I will. I promise,” I decide, and see some of the worry leave the creases of his forehead. “Your gift is at home,” I apologize.

  “No, she’s not. She’s right here,” he says as he sits on the chair and pulls me onto his lap. I want to melt, mold myself into his form, fill up his missing places the way he fills up mine.

  We watch Tedd pass out the rest of the gifts. Riley gets an original Pikachu backpack from 1999. “It’s a collector’s item,” Tedd says. “But you should play with it. Use it.” And she does. She rips the paper out of it and puts it on. He also gives her a Pokémon card organizer with pockets for all of her many cards. I see her look down for a minute.

  “I lost my cards when we had to run out of Kolton’s house when it was on fire,” she admits. “Even my first edition Gastly card.”

  “You know,” Tedd says, “I’d heard about that. So Vivien and I, we got you these,” he adds, going back to the tree and handing her a box. When she opens it, it’s full of Pokémon cards. Her eyes light up and a grin spreads from one side of her cheeks to the other.

  “There’s another one! And a Pikachu!” she yelps, hopping around, her blonde hair swinging. I love her smile, with teeth she hasn’t grown into yet.

  We all leave happy that evening. All except Vivien.

  As it should be. She’ll get hers later.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The Truth

  Once we’ve said our goodbyes and we’re back up in the air, I realize I’ve been holding Kolton’s key in my hand. The necklace fits perfectly in my palm, and I press it into my skin until I can really feel it. He loves me. My face heats up and my heart beats up against my fist. I listen to its rhythm. I beat for him, I ache for him.

  He had to endure sitting through dinner with the woman who molested him, and he has never told a soul except me. I was angry with him for making me walk in there so uncomfortable, but now I understand. He needed me and I want to help him heal—help him get closure. Justice. Maybe if that hadn’t happened when he was so young, he wouldn’t have used sex to replace love. And now he has me, I don’t want to let him down.

  I watch Riley arrange and then rearrange her new Pokémon cards. Manny is messing with his phone and he shows something to Devon, whose eyes widen and I see him mouth the words, “This isn’t good,” and Manny nods. They look shocked. Devon looks up and sees I’m looking at them, so he makes a stop motion with his hand toward Manny. He doesn’t want me to know, so it probably has to do with Katharina’s death.

  I look away from them. I don’t want to know. Knowing seems…like betrayal. Not that I’m judging them. I’m curious—just like they are. Instead, I think about how giving Kolton was tonight. I’ve never lived in a world where you had the balls to walk into Tiffany’s to buy Christmas presents for your whole family. We usually went to Wal-Mart or Target, with a budgeted amount to spend on each person.

  Later, I had to buy Riley’s school clothes at a thrift store after Mom and Dad
died—not that I’m ashamed because there’s nice stuff there, and it was affordable. It was good, actually, to be able to buy her the best clothes there. Clothes we wouldn’t have been able to afford, even at the outlet stores. Some of them, with the tags still on them. I felt like a lucky thief. Grateful for what I had and what I could provide for her.

  And here I am now, in a helicopter holding a key given to me by Kolton Royce. And all I got him for Christmas was that pocket watch. Still, I do hope he likes it.

  Before we land, I make a wish. I know Kolton’s not ready to tell me about Katharina, but I need him to open up and be honest with me about Vivien. If he closes this subject off, too, I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him. That seems wrong, because it happened to him, and he should be able to tell me when he’s ready. But I hope it’s tonight. Please, let him tell me tonight.

  * * *

  He takes my hand and brings me over to the mirror in the master bedroom. The same mirror where he’d asked me to go to his uncle’s house dressed in something that barely covered me.

  “Look at you,” he says but I can’t. I’m looking at him. His eyes meet mine in the mirror and his haunted thoughts burn through me, making me feel their weight. The vast heaviness of his secret weighs down on me, too. I close my eyes when I can’t look at him without my eyes telling him all my worries. “You know, don’t you,” he states, not questioning, but affirming. I nod. “He married her when I was fifteen.” He’s telling me. I’m so fucking glad. He trusts me this much.

  “Did it stop then?” I ask, wishing he’d say it had. He swallows and looks down then his head shakes twice, quick and firm.

  “I thought she was mine,” he says, rubbing his eyes. “Can you fucking believe it? I thought I loved her.” I feel the lump form in my throat and my chin starts to quiver. “I was so jealous of him. Every time we fucked, I’d beg her to stop doing it with him.” My stomach drops. My eyes are burning, so I have to water them with my tears. “She’d tell me she loved me the whole time.” His voice cracks and he drops his head. “I thought she meant it.”