The shuffling of feet stops, and I jump as a loud bang hits the door, followed by him cursing. “Fuck!” I can only assume that it’s Hawke’s fist striking the hard wood. I bite down on my bottom lip to hold back my cry, and then he does it. He rips my heart out.
“Baby,” he says, his voice husky and broken. “I’ll leave right now if that’s what you want. But before I go, I need to tell you something.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, concealing my cries so I can hear him clearly.
“I love you.”
I hear him move away, and then footsteps trail down the hallway. Soon I hear nothing and know Hawke has left.
I cover my face with my hands and cry. I big-ugly cry, where my voice comes out wailing. He said he loves me.
Hawke
Fuck my life.
I storm over to my motorcycle, rage filling me. I’ve fucked up. What the hell was I thinking? Fuming, I kick my bike a couple of times before straddling it and starting up the engine.
I look up at Luisa’s apartment window and see a light glowing. Her face comes into view and my heart sinks as I watch her close her curtains, shielding her from me. I don’t miss the way she was looking at me, as if she’s saying goodbye, tears flowing freely. I’ve hurt her and I hate myself for it.
I kick up my bike’s stand and speed off, heading to Rubix to have a drink. I need alcohol, right now.
What a night it had turned out to be. I’d had it all organized, to take Luisa out to dinner. I’d even gotten dressed up for her, and now here I am seated at Rubix’s bar, all alone with a beer in my hand. This is not the way I’d expected to spend my night.
When I arrived at the bar, I placed my cut back on. I’d taken it off when I got to Luisa’s, leaving me wearing just a white button-down shirt and dark blue jeans. I wanted for her to see me as a man, not just a biker. Yet here I am, drinking in a biker bar. Well, the Blood Brothers MC may own Rubix, but you would never know it. It’s clean, classy, and packed every night.
Actually, this is the same place I first met Luisa. I was here with Quill, handling a drunken asshole trying to cause a scene. Quill’s old man owed the douche a favor, and said he could have his way with one of our waitresses. That night Quill spotted Jasmine again, although he was already gone for her the moment he’d set sights on her that very morning. Maybe it was fate working for them. Shit if I know if that even exists, but that night, there Jasmine was again. Quill decided there and then that he was going to make her his.
That’s when I saw her.
Luisa.
She was dancing with Jasmine, her brown eyes giving me the once-over. From what I could gather, the way her gaze lingered on my torso, her tongue sliding provocatively along her bottom lip, she liked what she saw.
Me, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. The way she moved her hips to the music, her soft porcelain skin my hands begged to touch, was too much for any man to resist. At first I thought I wouldn’t be in with a chance with someone with her beauty, but when I stepped up and grabbed her around her waist, pulling her body close to dance, I knew she would be mine.
I can still remember the first time I felt her silky skin against me, and the way she sighed when I took her mouth in a kiss was fucking music to my ears. At first she’d tried to play hard to get, but when I kissed her she had kept me captive, her hands fisting in my hair and holding me to her.
I’ve had women before, I actually had a woman back at the clubhouse waiting for me, but I was not going to let this one get away. Not when my cock was begging to be inside her. I couldn’t remember the last time I had wanted a woman so badly.
I’m brought back to the present when Mike asks, “Bad day, brother?”
“You could say that,” I reply taking a swig of my beer.
Mike looks around the bar, then back at me. “You alone?”
“Yep,” I state, short and to the point.
“What’s up, Hawke? Where’s your woman?”
Mike is like a brother to the club, and he also served in the Marines with Quill and I. A couple of years after being discharged, he came looking for both of us and asked for a job. Quill offered Mike a position in our club but he wasn’t in a good place at the time. He said he wanted to try and get his life back on track, that he needed more of a regular kind of job, one that would pay the rent. He wasn’t ready to be part of a MC. Quill and I still hope that one day he’ll change his mind, but for now we’re happy as fuck to have him here running Rubix.
Can’t say things have changed much in the women department for Mike. With his good looks, and tattoos covering his bulky muscles, I can’t say I blame them. One day he will make one woman very happy, but for now he has the pick of the bunch at his fingertips.
“My woman?” I laugh. “Not sure if I have a woman after tonight.”
“No way, man, Luisa is a good one.”
I nod. “I know. But I fucked up, and I don’t know if she’ll forgive me,” I say as I peel the label off the Corona I’m drinking, meaning every word.
“Hawke, you’re a good man too. I know you. Don’t sell yourself short, brother.”
Mike finishes cleaning the glass in his hands, and drapes the towel over his shoulder before taking an order from someone standing at the bar.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, announcing a message, and I eagerly grab it out hoping it’s Luisa. When I glance at the screen I see it’s from an unknown number and my shoulders drop. It’s from Josie I work out when I open the message and start reading. Reece, I really need to see you. It’s important. Will you come over please?
I delete the message and throw my phone onto the bar. I don’t need her shit right now. She’s starting to get on my fucking nerves.
I swallow the rest of my beer, and turn to my side when I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“I thought I’d find you here,” Quill says, and I look behind him and see Trigger, Tracker, Blaze, Gunner, and Bear.
“What are you guys doin’ here?”
“Just like you, we needed a drink.” Quill slides into the seat next to me, and Mike places a Corona in front of him. I accept another and take a swig.
“I’m guessing things didn’t go well with Luisa tonight?”
Shaking my head I glance back down at my phone, lighting up and alerting me I have another message. I check just in case it’s Luisa, but see that it’s Josie again. I switch it off and place it back in my pocket, out of sight.
“Who’s that?”
When I ignore Quill’s question, he continues. “Is it Josie?”
“Yup.”
“What’s she want?”
“Don’t know, and don’t give a fuck,” I reply, taking my beer to my lips and drinking half the bottle this time.
“Ease up there, brother. You still gotta ride home,” Quill reminds me, tapping my back. “You wanna talk about what the fuck is going on in that head of yours?”
Quill points a finger to my temple. I move my head away and glare at him. “Fuck off, man. Don’t you have to be somewhere, anyway?”
“Nope,” Quill says smiling.
“Who’s watching over Jasmine?”
“Rhyder.”
I lift my chin and get up from my seat.
“Where you going?” Quill asks, his eyebrows drawing together.
I sigh and rub a hand down my face. “Back to the clubhouse to sleep. Not in the mood tonight.”
Quill nods then grabs my cut, stilling me before I can walk away from him. “Listen, Hawke. You got shit going on, I get that. But you need to talk? You come see me. You got me?”
“Yeah, man,” I reply, just wanting to get the hell out of here.
Quill finally lets go of my cut, allowing me to walk away from him and the guys, and I head outside to my bike. I straddle it and take off toward the clubhouse.
Hawke
Riding back to the clubhouse, I decide to turn and head toward Quill’s house instead. If anyone will know what to do, it’s Jasmine.
Parking
my bike in the driveway, Rhyder approaches me from where he’d been leaning on his own bike.
“Hey, brother, you here to replace me?”
“Yeah, man, I’ve got it from here. You can go.”
A big smile warms Rhyder’s lips. “You’re the best. I have this sweet ass waiting on me back at the club.”
“Fuck, Rhyder. You have a different woman each night.”
Rhyder has long hair, like mine, but brown, and his eyes are blue. He takes a different lady to bed each night and gets rid of them in the morning. The man is a tomcat. Ladies can’t help but fall for his baby blues.
“I can’t help it if all the ladies want me. They each deserve a chance to ride this,” Rhyder says as he rubs his hand over his torso.
I roll my eyes at him. “Sure, man. Now get the fuck out of here,” I say shaking my head as I walk toward the front door.
Knocking, I laugh when I hear Jasmine say from the other side, “Coming! Ow, fuck!”
When the door opens she has her foot in her hand, rubbing her toes.
“Hey, Jazzy. You stub your toe?”
“What does it look like, you moron?” She smiles at me as she opens the door wider, gesturing for me to enter. I walk in and look around. The house that had once looked like a bachelor pad, now has evidence of a female touch. There are flowers in a vase on the dining table, and a cookbook sits on the kitchen bench. A throw sits over the back of the couch, and some new pictures by the look of them rest on the mantelpiece. It feels homey.
I walk toward the kitchen. I can see something is cooking on the stove and remove the lid of the pot, inhaling the delicious aroma rising out of it. “Mmmm, this smells good.” I dip my finger in the red spaghetti sauce and taste it. “Tastes good too. Damn girl, you can cook,” I say, smiling as I look over at Jasmine.
“Move out the way, Hawke. I was just cooking for me, not for you. Now take your grubby fingers out of my sauce.”
“Come on, Jazz. Surely there’s enough for two?” I plead. I place my hands together in a prayer gesture. “Pretty please.”
She laughs out loud and playfully swipes my shoulder. “Okay, fine. I can share. But remember, I’m eating for two,” she reminds me, and caresses her stomach.
Jasmine moves to pull bread out from the oven. “Can I help?” I ask.
She points to the sink. “Can you drain the noodles? The strainer is in the sink already.” She continues to stir the sauce, and I grab a tea towel and carry the cooked noodles to the strainer and pour them into it.
Jasmine sets the table and I take a seat, loving the smell of the food she places in front of me. I dig into it, not realizing how hungry I actually am, and grab a piece of garlic bread and take a huge bite.
“Hungry?” Jazz asks, sarcasm dripping from her voice. I look over to where she’s sitting opposite me, and she’s grinning at me.
I smile and can only imagine how I look with spaghetti sauce all around my mouth.
“You’re a pig,” she says giggling, and digs into her own meal.
After we’ve both cleaned off our plates, I laugh when I see how Jasmine’s mouth is now also covered in sauce.
I point it out to her. “Looks like you have some food left over.”
Jasmine traces her finger around her lips and giggles again. “What can I say, it was good.”
“Yes it was,” I reply sitting back in my chair, feeling tired all of a sudden.
“So, what’s going on, Hawke? It’s not every day you come to visit me. I’m guessing dinner with Lu didn’t happen?”
“What, she didn’t call you?” I ask, surprised.
“Nope. After I spoke to her earlier today, I assumed you guys would work things out.”
I shake my head and push my plate away from me.
“What the hell, Hawke? What did you do?”
I sigh and run my hands down my face. “I fucked up, Jazz.”
“Oh, Hawke. What now?” She sits back in her chair, her arms crossed.
“She asked me if I kissed Josie.”
“Yeah, and did you tell her no?”
My eyes lock on Jasmine’s and I see her look of disappointment emerge.
“You kissed her?” she yells, jumping out of her chair and storming to my side of the table. She rests her hands on the top while staring daggers at me. “Please tell me that you did not kiss her, Hawke.”
I get up from my seat and stand to my full height. I’m a good foot higher than her small frame, but that doesn’t intimidate her. She stands her ground. “It didn’t mean anything, Jazz. It was just a kiss. A kiss that Josie initiated,” I add stepping into her space. I need her to believe me. I need her to help me convince Luisa that it was all just a big mistake.
“Jazz, you need to believe me. She kissed me.”
“When?” she whispers, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “When did all this happen?”
“The night of your bachelorette party. The boys and I were at Black Panthers, and there on stage, dancing seductively, was Josie. I couldn’t believe my fucking eyes,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck. I step around her to collect our dirty plates, and walk them over to the kitchen sink.
“What happened, Hawke?”
I hear Jasmine’s question coming from close behind me and realize she’s followed me into the room.
I turn to face her, and lean up against a kitchen bench. “I had to know why she was stripping on stage, Jasmine. The Josie I knew was too sophisticated, too classy for that shit.” I run my hands through my hair, tying it up with the band I keep around my wrist.
“What did you do, Hawke?” she asks, wrapping her arms around her waist.
I cross my ankles and look down at the floor. “I went out back after her routine was done, and when I turned around the corner, there she was, shooting up.”
I hear Jasmine gasp and I snap my head up to see what her reaction is. “Honestly, it shocked the hell out of me,” I admit.
“I’m so sorry, Hawke. I didn’t know.” Jasmine’s tone is sincere. She steps closer to me. “And then what happened? Where was Quill?”
“Quill was out front, in the main part of the club. I basically ripped the syringe from her arm and carried her to her car. Then I drove her home. When we got to her apartment, I shoved her in the shower to try and snap her out of her high, and she took me by surprise and kissed me. I swear, Jasmine, it wasn’t my intention for it to happen. I love Lu,” I declare as I step even closer to Jasmine, my eyes not leaving hers, trying to convince her I’m telling the truth.
“She blamed me for taking drugs, Jazz. She said it all started when I left her, and that’s when she turned to them. She lost her job and her life because of it all. I hate knowing that I’m the cause of that,” I say honestly.
I’m standing there with my arms crossed when Jasmine steps up to me and slaps me on the chest. “What do you mean, your fault? Are you crazy? You are not to blame for the choices she made, Hawke. You were not the one cheating on her. She cheated on you, when she was your fiancé. Don’t you dare feel guilty about the choices she’s made.”
I rub my jaw. “I know what you’re saying, Jazz, but I can’t help the way I feel. Somehow, I feelresponsible.”
“You need to get your shit together, Hawke. You hear me? Luisa can’t be hurt again. She’s been there before, and she deserves better. I’m getting married this weekend, and I need you guys to sort out your problems.”
“How do you expect me to do that?” I ask, uncrossing my ankles. “I need your help, Jasmine.”
“Me?” Jasmine points a finger at her chest, shaking her head. “I can’t fix this. You need to go over there and explain what happened. She’ll understand once she hears your story.”
I embrace Jasmine and kiss the top of her head. “Thanks for listening,” I say as I pull back, gripping her shoulders. “You’re a good friend.”
“Don’t you ever forget it,” she says smiling wide.
Luisa
It’s been three days. Three d
ays of not speaking to Hawke or seeing him. He’s tried to call me several times a day, turned up on my doorstep which I refused to acknowledge. It’s Wednesday and I’m at Je t’aime, Jasmine’s florist shop, putting together a bouquet for a funeral. I have to say, this floral arrangement suits my mood right now.
Other than feeling like a truck has run over my heart, I love being here. I love working at Je t’aime. I thank my lucky stars Jasmine contacted me a couple years back to leave my home in Tennessee and come work for her. Jasmine herself left Tennessee five years ago, wanting to make something of herself, and from as far back as I can remember she’s loved flowers. She studied at NYU to get her MBA, and continued on to gain her qualification in floristry. She’d saved all her money over the years and used it to open Je t’aime. I’m so proud of her accomplishments, at such a young age she has so much. Even after surviving her divorce with Nic, she still held it together, and continued to grow the floral boutique by incorporating a café into the premises as well.
“Looks like you need a coffee, you’ve been staring at that ribbon for the last ten minutes.”
I look up and see Ricky standing there, a cup of coffee in his hand. I smile at him warmly and happily accept it. “Thanks, Ricky. I sure could use some caffeine right now.” I haven’t been sleeping well the last couple of nights since Hawke confessed he kissed Josie. It’s all been a bit much to handle. But I’m trying to get myself together so I can at least talk to him about it.
Taming Hawke: Book #3 in the Blood Brothers MC Series Page 8