Ricky has been working for Je t’aime the past few months. He had a thing for Jasmine until Quill saw him trying to make moves on her at a fundraiser the Blood Brothers had organized. Quill made sure Ricky’s hands would never touch Jasmine again, even though Quill and Jasmine had been broken up at the time. It made no difference to Quill. He’s so dominant and protective over Jasmine, but he loves her, and she loves him. Quill agreed that Ricky could keep his job, but if he got word that Ricky ever tried to make a move on Jasmine again, he would be losing more than his job. So since then Ricky has been all professional around his boss, but he and I still like to joke and catch up.
“You wanna talk about it?” Ricky asks, staring at me with a concerned look on his face.
I shake my head and sigh. “Thanks, Ricky, but right now I don’t think I have the energy to.”
Ricky places his hands in his jean pockets and I can’t help but notice how attractive he looks today. He has dark hair that wisps over his forehead, and has a habit of flicking it back and out of his eyes. His eyes are so dark that sometimes when I stare into them, I swear he can read my every thought. The fact that each morning we have ladies swooning over him as he makes their coffee is just a hint of how hot he is. I need a life. But unfortunately, he’s not my type. My type is a biker with blond long hair, sun-kissed skin, and full lips.
“That’s okay. Well, you know where I am if you need to talk.” Ricky’s warm smile reaches his eyes.
“Thanks, Ricky,” I say returning his smile, and turn around to place the completed bouquet behind me. I hear the chime of the door opening, announcing a customer has walked into the shop. I told Jasmine to take the rest of the week off, so I’m in charge while she’s away. She gets married in a couple of days and needs to get everything organized. We’re flying out to Tennessee on Thursday so they can get married at her parents’ ranch. It’s been a dream of Jasmine’s since she was a little girl, and Quill is making sure that her dream comes true. We’ve had to hire a temporary florist from an agency to keep the store open, as Hailey, one of our regular florists, is also coming along to the wedding. Hailey is a casual employee and close friend, been with us over a year now, and we love having her help. She’s really good at what she does and doesn’t mind working extra shifts when we need her.
I turn around to give the customer who entered the store my attention.
“How can I….” I freeze mid-sentence. There standing before me is Hawke. His hair is messy from his helmet, and his usually scruffy jaw is almost a beard. His eyes, usually a startling blue, seem dull. Even though he looks exactly how I feel, I can’t help but travel my gaze over him, taking in his full lips, his muscled biceps covered in tatts, and the way his jeans fit him snugly.
“Can we talk?” Hawke asks placing his hands on the counter in front of me, and my eyes snap up to meet his. The look of uncertainty on his face causes my breath to hitch. I’ve never seen Hawke this way, in a mess and so unsure of himself. His scent of sandalwood stirs my senses and goose bumps cover my body. It’s as if it’s attuned with his and knows he’s close.
“Hawke, I don’t think—”
He raises a palm to me, indicating he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. “Please, Lu, just give me five minutes.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I glance around the store and see there’s no one here except Ricky, who’s trying very hard not to look our way.
“Please,” he whispers. “I deserve five minutes.”
His husky voice hits me in the pit of my stomach, and I cave in. “Sure, five minutes, and that’s it,” I say trying very hard to control my high-pitched voice. He nods once then steps back, allowing me to walk around the counter and lead him to a table in the café part of the shop.
“Can I get you anything?” Ricky asks Hawke as he approaches us, order pad in hand.
Hawke takes a seat opposite me, and his eyes don’t leave mine when he replies, “Piss off.”
Looking up at Ricky I try to apologize with my eyes, and he seems to understand, nodding once before walking back behind the counter.
“That wasn’t very nice. Ricky was just doing his job.”
Hawkes frowns. “I don’t give a fuck, I’m here to see you. I don’t like that fucker.”
“Hawke!”
“Will you just be quiet for two minutes, please?”
I twist my hands in my lap, waiting to hear what he has to say. I’m so nervous and don’t know why. I don’t know if there’s anything he can say right now to make me forgive him. I feel like I’ve been blindsided, the fact that he kissed another woman before he came to my apartment and made love to me is something I couldn’t ever fathom happening. I thought we were in a good place, thought if I gave him my all he would realize how good we are together, and want a future with me. What’s wrong with me? Why do men keep letting me down and cheating on me?
I feel my eyes prickle with tears and Hawke leans over and cups my cheek. I flinch and move away from his touch, seeing hurt in his eyes as he sits back in his seat again. He’s hurting too.
My heart beats a thousand miles an hour, and my palms are sweaty as I place them on top of the table, linking my fingers together.
“What did you want to talk about, Hawke?” My voice sounds more confident than I actually feel, and I brace myself for what he’s about to say.
“Lu, I miss you.”
And just like that a tear escapes. I quickly swipe it away.
“Babe, I love you,” he continues.
Rage fills me, my sadness easily replaced with anger. “You love me?” I cry out. “You. Love. Me?” I repeat the words, spitting them out like venom.
“Babe, I do.” Hawke reaches his hand over to mine, squeezing it.
“You sure have a funny way of showing it,” I reply and remove my hand from his.
Hawke runs a hand down the back of his neck and growls. “Fuck, I don’t know how to do this, Lu. You have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you. That kiss was nothing to me. I stopped it.”
“I don’t want to hear this, Hawke. I don’t want to hear the details of how your lips were on another woman, and not just some woman, your ex.”
“I know I fucked up. I do. I shouldn’t have been with her that night, but when I saw my ex-fiancée shooting up, I couldn’t just walk away. I had to see her home.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, surprised. “Did you just say your ex-fiancée?”
Hawke’s face changes when he realizes he may have just said a little too much, and I get up from my seat with every intention of walking away. But I’m stopped when he grabs my arm, keeping me still. Getting up from his seat, he grasps my shoulders, holding me captive. I can’t look at him. I keep my eyes focused on the floor as hurt and pain sweep through me. “Lu, please look at me.”
I slowly move my eyes up to meet his, glaring at him. I shove his hands off me, then pull my hand back and slap him hard across the face. Shock blankets his features, and I can feel my hand tingle with the hard contact of the hit. Angry tears roll down my cheeks and I roughly swipe them away. I won’t let him break me.
“You asshole. You were engaged and you never thought to tell me?” I cry.
Hawke’s hand covers his cheek, now turning a light shade of pink, and he clenches his jaw.
“Get out. Get out now!” I yell pointing to the front door of the shop. “I want you to leave, Hawke. Get out while I try and deal with all this.”
Hawke’s eyes plead with me but I ignore him. I can’t deal with this newfound information. Hawke was engaged before? He was going to marry her? I don’t know why it hurts so much to know that he was going to give himself in this way to another woman. Maybe because I know she could be the reason for him holding back from me.
“I’ll go,” Hawks says looking defeated. “But I won’t give up. I won’t give up on us, Lu. I may have been engaged before, but I’m so fucking glad I never married her, because the way I felt about her is nothing compared to how I feel about you. I love you, Lu. An
d if you can’t love me back after all this, then I don’t deserve you.”
He leans in and kisses the top of my head, then walks away from me. I stand there staring at the closed door he just slammed behind him, my heart sinking at the thought this may be the end of us.
“Uh, are you okay?”
I quickly wipe away my tears and turn to face Ricky, at the same time forcing a smile. “Sure, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Ricky states, his gaze running over my face.
“Just drop it.” When those unnecessarily harsh words leave my mouth, I instantly regret them. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bark at you. I just need some space right now.”
Just as Ricky is about to respond, the door to the store opens again. This time it’s a customer. Saved by the bell. I smile at the elderly lady. “I’ll be right with you.”
Walking out toward the back of the store, I stare at myself in the mirror of the small staff bathroom. A sinking feeling within hits me hard. My mind travels back to Hawke’s words and I catch myself on another sob. I need to get out front. Pull yourself together Lu, at least till work is over.
I take in a huge breath, then dab my cheeks with some tissues and head out to my customer, determined to get through the rest of the day without any more tears.
Luisa
Tears fill my eyes when I look at Jasmine in the mirror. We are at the bridal shop where Jasmine is having her final dress fitting. We leave for Tennessee tomorrow, and Jasmine decided she wanted to try it on one last time. She’s been worried that with her growing belly, the dress may have gotten tighter.
Till today I hadn’t seen it on her, but now that I have, I can safely say I’ve never seen her look so beautiful. Her dress sits off her shoulders, with a heart-shaped bustline, and crystals cover the bodice of the gown, accentuating her curvy waist. Ribbon crisscrosses down the back and ties together at her waist, keeping the bodice secure, with the benefit of her being able to make it looser should she need to. The skirt is full, and Jasmine reminds me of Cinderella. It also does a wonderful job of hiding her growing belly. Not that Jasmine’s ashamed of it, but a girl does like to look slim on her wedding day. Jasmine’s chosen ivory for the dress, and a long veil covers her brown locks.
She turns around, away from the mirror, grinning at me. “Well, what do you think, Lu?”
I’m lost for words so I sit there just staring at her. “Lu? Earth to Lu.”
Getting up from my seat, I walk over and clasp her hands in mine. “Jasmine, you are going to make a beautiful bride.”
Jasmine smiles warmly at my words. “You sure it’s not too much?” She turns around to look at herself in the mirror again, running her hands over the flared organza skirt.
“It’s your wedding day, there’s no such thing as too much,” I say honestly. “Jazz?” Jasmine looks at me via the mirror. “You’re going to be the most beautiful bride ever, and Quill is going to die when he sees you. But, I will say… I sure do feel sorry for the man.”
Jasmine frowns. “And why is that?” she asks, her head cocked to the side.
“Because….” I giggle. “Once he has you to himself, he’s going to have a hell of a time getting you out of this dress?” I tug on the ribbon holding her bodice together. We both laugh out loud before Jasmine’s face straightens.
“What?” I ask when I see her mischievous look. It’s like she’s keeping a secret.
“Wait till Quill sees my lingerie.”
“What did you do?” I cover my mouth with my hand.
Smirking, her eyebrows dance when she says, “Let’s just say he will be very pleased.”
I giggle again and shake my head. “Where has my best friend gone?”
“Oh, she’s here, just a dirtier one,” she replies, and I nod.
“That you are.”
Jasmine eyes me suspiciously, and I look up at the pedestal she’s standing on. “What’s wrong?”
She steps down and holds out her hands to me. “Lu, I want you to know that I wouldn’t be doing this without you. You have always been there for me, and you have got me through so much in the last year. I wouldn’t be marrying the man of my dreams if I didn’t have you to give me that push.” Her eyes fill with unshed tears and I pull her into an embrace.
“Oh, Jazz. You don’t have to thank me, I’m just glad you found Quill. I know you guys are going to be happy.”
Jasmine pulls back and focuses on me. “Lu, you have always been honest with me. Now it’s my turn to be honest with you.”
I’m still wondering what she has to say. “What are you trying to say, Jazz?”
“I’m trying to say that Hawke is also a good man.”
“Jasmine, don’t,” I warn her.
“No, Lu, you need to hear this.”
I pull back out of her arms, but she steps forward and grabs my hands, leading me to the couch I was seated on before.
We take a seat and face each other. “Lu, don’t make the same mistake as me. I didn’t want to hear Quill’s side of the story when he slept with Jess. I wasted so much time being without him, trying to hate the man, but look where that got me? Kidnapped, and I almost lost my life.”
“It’s not the same, Jazz. Hawke has been engaged before, and he never told me. He kissed her. He wasn’t drunk or fed drugs to knock him out like Quill, he was sober, and knew what he was doing.” I begin to cry and look away from her.“Oh, Lu. I know Hawke loves you, he does. He told me. Josie is his ex-fiancée, but did you know she slept with someone else, and that Hawke was the one to catch them in bed?”
My gaze snaps back over to hers, and I gasp. “Josie cheated on Hawke?”
“Yep, and he was going to marry her the next month. He came home and walked in on her having sex with some random stranger.”
I rest a hand on my suddenly tight chest. I can’t imagine how awful that would have been for Hawke. I mean, sure I’ve been cheated on, but I’ve never witnessed it, had it right there in front of me. Why does everything need to be so complicated?
“So, he called off the wedding?”
“He did. Then he walked out of her life.”
Feelings of pride for Hawke fill me as I think of how hard that would have been for him. Then I look Jasmine in the eye. “Then why did he kiss her the other night?”
Jasmine sighs. “On the night of the bachelor party, they were at Black Panthers. Josie was there, stripping on stage.”
“Josie is a stripper?” I ask, shocked.
“She is now, yes. But when her and Hawke were together she was a personal assistant for some design company.”
“So why is she a stripper now?”
“This is where it all comes together, Lu.”
“Um, excuse me…. I don’t mean to interrupt, but did you want me to wrap up the dress for you?”
Jasmine looks behind her at the fitting assistant in the doorway. “Oh gosh, sorry, I’ve let time slip away from me. Sure, I’ll get out of my dress and bring it out front.”
Jasmine’s dress fits her like a glove so there’s no need for any finishing touches.
“We’ll have to continue this discussion later, Lu.” Jasmine gets up from the couch and heads to the changerooms where the assistant is now waiting, ready to help her get out of the dress.
I sigh, regret now filling me. Did I overreact? Josie cheated on Hawke! That could possibly explain his commitment issues.
I sit patiently waiting for Jasmine, and stand up and follow her when she exists the changeroom and makes her way to the register. They place the dress in a secured bag and lay it safely in her waiting arms.
“Here, let me help,” I offer as I hold the bottom of it. “You shouldn’t be carrying anything too heavy.”
“Not you too,” Jasmine states, rolling her eyes at me. “Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I’m not allowed to do anything unless Quill says I can.”
“He’s just being cautious, Jazz.”
“There’s cautious, and there’s just plain c
razy. Quill is the latter. The guy won’t even let me go shopping on my own. He sends a prospect to the shop with my list.”
I smirk. “Yeah, that may be a little over the top.”
She smiles. “Good to know you see it my way.”
I roll my eyes. “Come on, let’s get this dress in the car. This gown weighs a ton, you sure you can walk down the aisle in this?”
“It’s fine. And don’t you dare tell Quill that it’s heavy. The man would make me change it, maybe even pick the dress for me.” I giggle imagining Quill doing that exact thing.
Once out front and near her car, Jasmine awkwardly opens the trunk and places it gently inside, ensuring it’s flat and won’t get creased. “There,” she says, “that wasn’t too bad.” Jasmine stands back, hands on her hips as she blows loose hair out of her face.
“Yeah, not bad at all,” I agree.
“Let’s go get a hot chocolate. I’m craving one and we can finish that conversation.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
We walk into Macie’s café which is next door to the bridal shop, and make our way to the counter to order our drinks. “Hot chocolate please, and, uh, Lu, what do you want?”
“I’ll get a long black, thanks.”
Once our drinks are ready, we carry them over to a table and take our seats.
“So, are you excited about going home?”
Jasmine’s eyes light up. She loves the ranch, and I can’t say I blame her; I love my own parents’ ranch too. I grew up next door to Jasmine, we were both only children and went to the same school. We were inseparable, and still are.
“You can say that. I’m glad I’m getting married there. It’s always been my wish to marry my future husband there, and with Nic that wasn’t going to happen, because of his mother’s plans. So I love how Quill knew it was a dream of mine and made it a reality.”
Sipping my coffee, I brace myself to ask Jasmine the question I’m dreading.
“Jazz?”
Jasmine’s stirring her hot chocolate, and takes a sip. She places it back down and gives me her full attention.
“Will you tell me the rest of that story?”
Taming Hawke: Book #3 in the Blood Brothers MC Series Page 9