by Gloria Obizu
Ok! I’m gonna cut you a deal, Gary continued.
What deal are you gonna cut a man you refused his money, ah?
I’m gonna get you to go for Rehab. I’ll do all the paper work and then come get you, what about that?
What for? You don’t get it, do you? The only conversation there will ever be between me and you guys will have to do with the money you owe me, otherwise, I ain’t sealing and ain’t buying shit from no body. Get it now?
You may wanna move into a shelter Freddy. Is not safe out here!
Alright! I think we are done, so good bye my friend! And Freddy withdraws into his blanket.
Gary tried the much he could to get him into talking some more without success, disappointed, he left and headed home. All through his drive, his mind continued to wonder about the gun in his car. If only he could find Isabel to confirm the information he got from Carissa that would settle the matter for him for good. But he is now beginning to fear that finding her on his own is something that will probably never happen. Once again, he considered turning in the gun to fellow officers but on a second thought he dropped the idea. Turning the gun in is not even good for him because a lot of questions will come up from that single act. How could he explain how the gun got to his house in the first place? And how could he say he was not aware that the object has been in his house all this time? Eventually he decided to keep the whole thing to himself and continued to work underground till he digs up something to shed more light on Isabel and her whereabouts and then other matters will be sorted out.
Chapter Twenty-Three
For the second week, Carissa stayed away from work. Most of the time, she would be in her room doing nothing in particular but lying on the bed and staring on the TV ‘cause she seemed to have lost interest in everything. Actually, she’s been in and out of depression many times and had eaten very little that she lost some weight. But then her latest friend Angela was doing all she could to talk her out of it all. Even then, Angela herself was convinced her friend was having real bad time.
Carissa more or less made up with Cindy years back so her problems right now are not strictly coming from the apartment she shared with the other two girls. Tasha is not even remembered so often so what she is going through is purely a Carissa’s thing. A conflict within self as she struggled to unravel the direction she truly wants to lead her life and how to go about realizing her actual intents. She is not the typical whore because her perception of the self is of something nobler than what life’s circumstances splashed on her pretty face. She has equally tried the best she could to make the necessary adjustments in this state of life she found herself, but how do you wear a shoe not your seize and want it fit? It just won’t. Yet in Carissa’s situation, she has been dragging a pair of oversized shoes a long time and coping till this time when she just couldn’t go further.
As she laid on her bed now and staring at the horror movie ‘The midnight meat train’ roll by, a text message came through and she didn’t waste time with a reply. Angela, I’ll call you latter so we can talk about it.
That was good enough for her friend who never expects much from Carissa these days. Angela was even thankful she showed some positive signs at all and felt a sense of satisfaction with all her efforts in preventing a downhill tumbling.
And like she said, Carissa gave a thorough consideration to the message before she dialed up her friend. Angela you know I’m not in the mood for night club dancing this time around, don’t you?
I know! But you need to get out of the house, Carissa. You can’t be lying there all day long permitting your mind wonder to who knows where. Let’s go dancing like we do every now and then or do something else. I mean anything that can take your mind away from whatever is bugging you this much will be ok. That’s not gonna hurt Carissa! Friday night dance is the recipe for every girl’s ill. You know that!
Ok, how do I go dancing without a guy? You know I broke up with Francis and I’m not actively dating right now.
You are never gonna dance alone, babe! My boyfriend’s buddy is coming with us.
I don’t really know if I wanna do this! She said but Angela was unrelenting and at the end prevailed. Alright! Alright! Carissa said. I’ll think about it and give you a call.
And it took Carissa few days to make up her mind to get out of the house and see how that could help so she put out the Call to Angela.
So you wanna go? Her friend asked excitedly.
I’ll give it a try!
After a short conversation, the girls settled for the coming Friday.
We go in my car. How about that? Angela suggested.
I always go in someone else’s car anyways. And is always someone to hook me up with some guy or something ‘cause I never do anything right for myself. I just can’t explain it.
It doesn’t matter Carissa, continued Angela. Everyone has his own chance. May be yours is soon to come, understand? I’m sure you’ll be ok but you need to stop worrying about everything.
I can’t help it! Things come up and you got to deal with them, get what I’m saying! Anyways I’m gonna go dancing with you guys if that will make you happy, Carissa said.
At 10pm on that Friday night, Angela called and Carissa was already waiting so she quickly added some finishing touches to her make up and ran outside to join her friend.
Edwin Angela’s friend who she recognized and another guy she is meeting for the first time, were in the car, so she just said hi and took her place before the drive began.
Carissa, the guy sitting beside you is Ray. Ray Anderson, the guy added. Ray, meet my friend Carissa! Carissa I’m gonna warn you first hand though, with Ray, hold your ribs with your hands ‘cause he’s gonna make you laugh real good!
As it turned out, in a short time the foursome was chattering away like old pals as the car sped towards the club and just like Angela promised, Ray had lots of tomfooleries up his sleeves and it was all laughter inside the car till they stepped into the floor of the night club?
Once in there, Carissa chose to inter her sorrows for the moment and joined the crowd. She danced, drank whatever she wanted, and was all over the place having so much fun like the rest till the end. But by the time it was over, there was no doubt something new was steeping for Carissa and Ray and before she got out of the car it was with a promise from Ray, “baby, I’m gonna give you a call.”
The calls started coming so early too. In the next few days Ray stayed with his phone and Carissa at positive receiving end ‘cause she felt something for him at first sight but that is a secret only her knows, at list for the instance.
I wanna see you again, Ray told her during one of such calls and she quickly accepted. When do we meet? He asked.
Right now I’m ain’t working and may stay home for another week so before the week runs out will be the ideal time.
“I’ll be at your place on Saturday so we can go watch ‘Jane Eyre ‘showing on Wilshire,” Ray suggested. And as it turned out, is like Ray read her mind by that proposition since the Movie turned out great for both of them but especially for her. Anything about a girl losing his parents, hit so hard by faith but endured and withered the storm was welcomed by Carissa. At the end of it, she could not but express her appreciation. You wanna come with me to my apartment for dinner? She asked.
Thanks for asking babe but that will be for another time. However I promise you we gonna have a lot to do together. He then drove her home and left right away.
But in a short time romance glinted like it was something bound to happen and because both were ready, it continued on a steady and good beat. The couple seemed well-matched in many ways and because of that found comfort in each other’s company. Happiness Carissa lost a long time returned and she blossomed into the beautiful girl she truly is.
Their lives continued in this manner for some time until this pec
uliar day. It was a Sunday to be precise, Carissa did not go to work as usual and Ray was gonna stay the night like he does sporadically. And considering his personality, this was yet another get together filled with fun and all kinds of activities he creates. They played different games, did some paintings and jokes which was Ray’s specialty. Finally they went out for dinner at Carissa’s favorite place.
Back home, Ray slipped in Lionel Richie’s ‘Ballarina Girl into a DVD and both relaxed with it. While the music runs, she heard his gentle voice again, Carissa! Instantly she turned in his direction anxiously waiting for what he was going to say because something about the way he said her name at that moment, indicated a special message was on the way.
Don’t you think you’ll be better off without this brothel job?
Why are you saying that to me now Ray? I thought you took me for who I’m!
I don’t like seeing you among these girls doing all kinds of shit with men at the parlor any more. I kind of get hurt by that sometimes and don’t think is the best job out there for a girl I’m going out with.
I don’t get what this is all about Ray! She emphasized.
Babe, what I mean is you don’t have to put on those red cloths any more, okay? Ray continued.
You think I like what I do? You really believe I enjoy it? Carissa retorted. Well, if you must know, I don’t! But it just happens that I’ve got bills to pay and this is the only means I can use right now.
I know you’ve got bills to pay. Ray continued. I understand all that you are trying to communicate.
Fine! I appreciate the way you told me your mind though but how am I gonna pay those bills if I don’t work, eh? Carissa continued.
That’s not the only job there is in the world, he insist.
Ray listens; I’ve tried doing other things before settling with this, okay? I don’t have the schooling so no job gives me enough money to pay my bills like this this thing I’m doing right now, understand?
You are not gonna be doing things all by yourself anymore.
What do you mean by that? Carissa asked, anxious to hear what is coming.
I’m considering taking our relationship to another level, Carissa?
And what do you have in mind?
Something more serious than what we’ve got right now! I want us to get real close.
Ray we are already close, get what I’m saying?
I know, but even closer like man and wife.
What? She said excitedly. You mean………
Yes I mean to make you my wife, he intruded.
Are you serious? You mean you wanna marry me? Me! Carissa!
Yes! In my opinion the past doesn’t matter that much, is the present that counts, and what I look forward to is a great future together. This is gonna be our focus from now on Carissa. I’ve been with you long enough to know you are a good girl deep inside. Actually I’ve to confess that I’ve been seeing you around here for a while so even though you might not have noticed, it is been a long time your beauty captured my attention. I know what you do, I know where you go, and I’ve been watching the way you carry on with things and something within me is convinced a good girl is hidden beneath. Circumstances mislead not only you but many others and for some to their death but the brave and the lucky surpassed that. And whenever I look at you I see someone in the hands of providence, a providence that will now polish and furnish her in new design if she permits.
Ray I didn’t really get all that you said ‘cause you spoke in high English kinda and I don’t have the schooling it takes, Carissa added.
Don’t worry! It’s all gonna be a thing of the past pretty soon. You’ll go back to school as soon as you can. How about that?
Yeah! That’s what I’ve always wanted! But my problem is I don’t even have the fucking GED.
We can start by dropping the F-word Carissa.
Why?
For politeness and self-respect! There is a reason you don’t hear such words used in the class room or in the church. No preacher preaches with the F-word to his congregation unless it is used for emphasis. Likewise no English teacher teaches his students F-word either. It is not the language for the refined mind!
I know! You are right! Carissa said in subdued manner. I hate doing these things sometimes but when you’ve been in a crowd where things are done in a certain way for so long, you tend to flow with the Joneses or say get carried away. But like I was saying, I don’t have GED, understand? So what school is gonna accept me like that?
You can go get it. It’s not that hard. By working together we can achieve whatever goal we set out for ourselves. I mean we need to complement one another with a common goal in focus. You know, life is a very serious business and we got to handle it that way as a couple or we miss our step and fall by the way side. For someone like me, I think it is always better two than one especially when that two can merge as one.
Ray what kind of job do you do yourself ‘cause you have not told me. Remember I constantly ask you and you keep saying you’ll keep it for another day. I guess this is that another day and I really wanna know especially now we are getting real serious.
You are right! I’m a school teacher, Ray responded.
Really! That’s so cool!
I’m happy you appreciate. You know what I plan next? Ray asked.
What? Carissa asked and moved even closer to lean on his shoulders.
To propose to you formally in the presence of your room mates on any day you choose because I want them to know when you get engaged to me and start giving you the respect you deserve. What do you think?
I think is great! That being the case since everyone is at home right now, can we do it tonight?
That’s not a problem but we don’t have the ring, Ray reminded her.
She laughs. Oh yes! I forgot! Ok then, we do it next Sunday. How about that?
That’s a good idea! Get ready for your future babe Ray said with a kiss.
Carissa couldn’t just wait for that Sunday to come around but the day took it’s time until without choice it dropped on her feet. As usual her roommates were in the living room, watching the TV and chattering that Sunday when she walked in. I have a surprise for you girls tonight’ she announced. But Cindy and Rita took it as one of those put-ons they were all used to. Again, it was Cindy who spoke first.
What you got honey? She asked in casual disposition.
Ok girls! Listen! What do you guys think about marriage and babies?
Marriage and babies! Cindy exclaimed. Is that what you call surprise? I’m even scared right now just for the mention of it!
Come-on Cindy! Get serious, okay? What do you guys think about marriage and babies?
Sucks!!! That’s what I think, Cindy continued. Those are not for me ‘cause they mess up a woman’s body and get you strapped on a sport and I don’t want that to happen to me, understand? I don’t even understand why people do that shit ‘cause the whole damned thing always ends up in one bullshit or another, get what I am saying? I love myself too much and like the kind of life I’m living, okay? I’m never gonna trade that for nothing! No one single man is gonna get this, she signaled by showing off her body. Anyways Carissa, I know you are full of intrigues, so, what’s up with you tonight. I’m ready to buy anything you wanna sell but don’t tell me you are getting married or pregnant cause I know is not gonna work.
You don’t know shit about me Cindy? Carissa reacted.
Come-on Cindy! Marriage is not a bad idea. If there is anything wrong with it is with the kinds that pair, understand? Rita added.
I don’t understand bullshit, alright? What I’m feeling though is that Carissa is got some up her long sleeves and I want to get the whole gist. So girl what’s really up on your sleeves? Continued Cindy,
While the girls continued talking, Ray wa
lked into the living room and with a ring in his hands went on his knees before Carissa and popped the question. Carissa will you marry me?’
Yes! Yes! She shouted with joy to the amazement of her friends. Then she ran to her room, back with a bottle of Champaign and Ray Popped that too. In disbelieve, Cindy reluctantly joined the others in a toast to for better for worse after which Ray walked back to the room with Carissa.
After a while, Carissa turned to Ray and said; I wanna move in with you right away. What about that? But Ray discouraged that. No! Not until we are married properly in the court or church whichever one we decide, he said.
Does it really matter? Carissa asked.
Yes! It matters to me. I want a responsible relationship with the one I love and to my understanding, true love should ultimately finalize in a wedding, Ray responded. They argued over the matter for a while with Ray doing everything he could to convince her.
I don’t think it really matters. This wedding thing is some kind of stuff made up by business people to market their wares and make money. You can live with someone and have babies without this wedding thing, Carissa insists.
You are wrong Carissa! Ray said. For me a wedding should be the foundation for a family life since is the ultimate commitment a man and woman must make to bind till death do both part except where there is something in it that threaten the live of either of the couple or both of them. I’m not saying everyone understands it but that won’t change a thing. Some may be doing it for wrong reasons, but that still won’t change anything.
I see you’re a good teacher already! Carissa finally gave in. And know what, I’ll do exactly what you say!
Good! First I want you back to school soonest.
Carissa heart leaped for joy the moment Ray said that. I’m thinking of going for CNA after I make my GED since it is a very short route. After that, I’ll work for a while, make you some babies and try to become an RN. That’s my ultimate goal.